When you were in middle school you probably thought your life had reached its peak; you got to go to the mall with friends without adult supervision, you began developing little puppy crushes on the cute and popular kids, you probably even tried to convince your parents you were an adult who could do anything on their own. But perhaps the biggest change in your life you went through aside from puberty were the trials of judgment from your peers.

Anything they said to you had to be true right, they were your classmates so they couldn't possibly lie to your face about anything. You would change as they changed, you just wanted to fit into the crowd and feel important. You would make your parents go out and buy you all these clothes and shoes you hated before but now you wanted them just to say you had them to your classmates. You tried everything in your power to feel normal and accepted.

However, to Lance, that feeling of normalcy only came when he was leaning over a toilet at school coughing up his pizza from lunch just to lose some weight. He was fat, fat and disgusting. Hell, he was a lard boy and he knew it. Every day he woke up his sister drifted further and further from him just so that she wouldn't have to deal with the constant humiliation he went through.

Every day he came to school some kid would point him out and make puking noises causing a chain reaction throughout the hallways that made Lance feel self-conscious about his body but he still did it. He still went to the bathroom after every meal religiously because he knew deep down in his heart that it was going to pay off one day.

He was going to be skinny one day with the magazine ready body society expected him to have and he was going to finally be desirable to the girls who always looked down at him in disgust. He laughed slightly as he sat back on the floor and wiped his mouth with a piece of toilet paper.

"I'm nearly there," he stated out loud in triumph as he looked down at his body that had clearly lost some weight. Lardboy was about to become a thing of his past and he couldn't wait to say goodbye to it.

The pain he suffered through every day, the constant questions that plagued his mind, everything would become nothing but a distant memory. All those questions his little demons whispered in his ears would disappear.

'Why me?' He wouldn't have to worry about asking that question when he finally had his love returned by his crush. He'd make all of his bullies ask themselves that when he becomes the most handsome guy around who no longer had on pants where the buttons were being put to the ultimate test.

'When will it stop?' He would never need to worry about this when he became normal. They would all see him as one of them or perhaps even greater.

'Did my friends ditch me because I was too different?' It wouldn't matter what his friend's opinions would be after he changed his life from dieting. He would laugh at them as they tried to beg for forgiveness and come crawling back to them.

When he becomes skinny, he'd make everyone pay for ever making him cry, for every making him hate himself, for being the cause of him leaning over a toilet to throw up after every meal, for ever making him feel worthless. Yeah, he was going to get the revenge he always wanted by changing himself for the better.

But was it for the better? Years later nothing had ever changed. Lance still hated himself, he was still an outsider in his school that got the shit kicked out of him on a daily basis, and people would still look at him in disgust. He quietly stood in front of the mirror at the hospital staring at his own reflection; even he wanted to cringe and gag at the sight of his face.

He was a sickly pale color that made his tanned skin look almost dead, his eyes were becoming dull, and his cheekbones were becoming more and more noticeable. If he opened his mouth he would probably cough from the smell of his own breath. His molars had cavities from the years of stomach bile rubbing against them and their once pearly white color was now a yellowish grey. Why had he done all this? Why had he put his body under years of torture just to get here? To become even more undesirable by his own girlfriend.

Lance didn't understand anything anymore. All he had ever wanted to be was skinny, perfect, flawless and yet here he was as a scrawny, broken, flawed boy who looked like he was on his deathbed. "Why me?" Lance asked his own revolting reflection.

Why was he the one who suffered every day from this? Why couldn't he catch a break? Why was it that he couldn't break this habit that was killing him slowly? Why wasn't he strong enough to take control of his life? Why?

He frowned at his own face as he tried to think about something else, Keith. Keith was out there in surgery, fighting for another chance at life even if God had curb stomped the guy twice and repeatedly beat him up in life; he was still trying.

Allura was out there even more broken and lost than he was. Him just standing here complaining about his disorder was pathetic because he could change everything while she couldn't. She had to live with the memory of someone taking advantage of her body when she was at her weakest, she would have to live with the knowledge of ever knowing there were bruises along her skin from her teacher, she had to live with the memories of the greatest pain no one should ever have to live through and yet here he was whining about something stupid.

He wanted to make his past self pay, he wanted that little fat kid to suffer as much as he was now because of the childish dream that would never come true. Why did he ever believe that throwing his own food up would even help? He should've known it wouldn't have given him his desired body, it never worked for the other people so why would it even work for him? He was following a naïve dream and this was the medicine the patient needed. A cruel dose of reality. He was even more pathetic, worthless, and even more undesirable than he had been back in middle school.

He was putrid.

He was disgusting.

He was the embodiment of trash.

He was something better left inside of a box tucked away in a storage closet where it would never see the light of day again.

He was better off not even being there, wasn't he?

Let's be real, all he did was cause his family pain. His father left them when they found out about his issues at a regular checkup with the doctors. While Lance's mother was crying over her son literally killing himself in order to feel better about himself, his father was off sticking it in his secretary and having the time of his life away from the stress of knowing his own kid felt like a worthless bag of meat. Lance was the reason his mother went through a nasty divorce, he was the reason Vince was left with Christian. Every time someone found out about his problems they ran away to have a more normal life.

He was the reason his family suffered from the worst kind of luck.

He stared at the reflection and felt so much anger welling up inside of his chest. He was angry at God, at his father, at his bullies, and so, so angry at himself. He was angry at himself for ever believing he could be happy through vomiting and dieting.

You couldn't find happiness in something like that. You'd want to lose more and more weight even after you hit the ideal weight you had been working so hard for because it wasn't enough. None of it was. You were only happy with the outcome when you were in your coffin six feet under.

"Lance?" A voice sounded from the entryway to the bathroom which made the angry boy jump slightly.

He looked over his shoulder, blue eyes wide, and found himself staring at a clearly exhausted Shiro. "Oh h-hey Shiro," Lance gave a sheepish grin as he relaxed slightly.

Shiro walked in and sighed as he stood in front of the next sink over in order to place his hands on either side of it. He stared down into the drain that seemed like a dark abyss and closed his eyes. "Is it my fault?" Shiro asked out loud probably meaning for it to have been a rhetorical question, one where he didn't wish to know the answer to.

Lance stared at him quietly, he didn't even have to ask what the guy meant by it. It was clear he was talking about Allura. Lance frowned slightly as he pushed his self-hatred to the back of his mind in order to help his friend out. "Why would it be, it's Lindon's fault. He was the one who did it to her Shiro, not you."

"It doesn't matter who did it," Shiro reached out and twisted on the faucet in order to cup his hands under the running water. "In the end, it's my fault all because I decided to not go to her house like I wanted to. I had such a bad feeling about her being alone and because I ignored my own feelings she got hurt."

"Shiro," Lance said firmly and reached out to place a hand on his friend's shoulder gently. "You are not at fault and I'm sure Allura wouldn't want you to feel this way either," He continued feeling confidence creep up into his body. He firmly believed in everything he was saying. "If she blamed you she wouldn't let you into her room where she listened to your little stories on how your day went. She would press the button on her remote and have a nurse escort you out. She likes you more than you know."

Shiro watched as the water poured over his hands for it no longer had any more room to rest in his palms. His grey eyes searched the clear liquid for something as if all the answers to the universe were in his palms. His scar scrunched up slightly as he fell into a deep thought with Lance's hand still on his shoulder.

Then, with a deep sigh, he dropped the water into the sink and turned off the faucet carefully. "Right, sorry for bothering you with my problems Lance," he stated and dried his hands off before he placed his hands on Lance's shoulders and stared down at him with a soft expression still full of this indescribable pain. "You're a good guy, I trust your opinions and I see why Keith views you with such high regards."

"Huh?" Lance cocked his head to the side. Keith held him in high regards? Was this some sort of joke? "Uh, yeah sure," He said slowly and laughed slightly. He wasn't going to ask Shiro what he meant, he'd ask Keith when he came back from surgery.

"I have to go back to Allura and hey," Shiro began to walk away giving Lance a gentle pat on the back as he scooted around him, "I appreciate what you and Keith did for Allura by making her eat. The nurse informed me about it, thank you."

"No problem," Lance said sincerely as he watched his friend leave the bathroom.

Lance didn't want to spend any more time alone with his thoughts because he knew no good would come of it and anyways, he was supposed to be with Pidge in the cafeteria. He stretched his arms above his head, splashed his face with water, dried it, and then left the bathroom trying to keep a clear mind. Pidge had been working hard on finding Keith's father, still refusing to tell Lance what his reasons were, but he knew it was something personal. Keith had that weird touch, he made people feel better without really meaning to.

Lance casually strolled past the people who were rushing around in the cafeteria with food trying to not run out of time for their lunch break. Pidge was sitting by himself in a corner booth quietly typing away at his computer as he stuffed his face with a peanut butter and jelly sandwich his mother had made for him.

Lance slid in beside the kid and stretched his arms out and laid his cheek flat against the table's surface with a deep sigh, "Have you found the guy yet? I really wanna know!" He whined in hopes that Pidge wouldn't question why he had disappeared for so long.

Pidge rolled his eyes, "No, now shut up, you're interrupting my work," He stated.

When Lance's stomach growled obnoxiously loud the little guy raised an eyebrow at the Cuban boy and stared at him without saying a word. Lance sat up and laughed awkwardly, "Ah, that was just me making a weird noise," He gave a strained smile as his eyebrow twitched ever so slightly out of frustration.

Pidge held the peanut butter and jelly sandwich out in front of his blue eyes. Any other day he would have probably taken one or two bites of it but not today; today was different. He had found himself being angry at himself for throwing up after every meal. If he took the food now surely his body would instinctively regurgitate it and purge his stomach of those toxic calories. That sandwich in front of his eyes looked too much like the nightmares he had suffered from when he was younger, it looked like pure sin condensed into something so delectable. It was the devil's food, it was the forbidden fruit, the thing that could tempt him into sin.

He lowered his gaze to his shaky fingers that were now tapping away on the table's surface out of pure anxiety and anger, "I'm uh- fine."

Pidge stared at Lance for a moment before his brown eyes settled down on the sandwich. "Dude," Pidge looked back up at Lance and held the food closer to his taller friend's face, "You have to eat, you look like literal shit today."

Lance forced a smile on his face as he ignored the pain in his stomach, "Pidge, I'm fine. I swear."

Pidge stared at him for a little longer before he realized he was fighting a losing battle against Lance. He sighed and took a bite of the sandwich and typed with his other hand, "You need to eat soon or you'll be in this hospital too. We can't have half our group out and unaccounted for you know?"

"I know," Lance mumbled half to himself as he stopped his irritating tapping on the table, "But you can't force someone with an eating disorder to eat."

"If we don't, how do you get better?"

Lance was quiet as he kept his eyes glued to the table. He wanted to take the first step to recovery but how could he when his body had a mind of its own, hell back at the mall no matter how much he had willed himself to hold down his food he had been too weak to even do so. Keith held him as he sobbed in between each little purge. Keith had comforted him because he wasn't able to be strong. He was weak, too weak to take that first step to recovery alone.

"I'll figure it out," Lance stated as he sat up slightly in his seat. He had to figure this out on his own, didn't he?

Pidge smiled slightly at his friend before he plopped the last bit of the sandwich half into his mouth and began to type with both hands. "Okay," he said as he swallowed the food, "So I managed to narrow down Keith's father's possible whereabouts in the state of Texas to two places and-"

Lance waved his hands around in front of his face as he furrowed his brows, "Whoa, how is this even possible? It's been what, two days? You can't possibly be able to locate someone who went off the grid so easily when others haven't been able to find him legally!" He exclaimed in utter confusion.

Pidge shrugged slightly, "Who said what I was doing was completely legal? I have my ways and you have yours so let's not dive into the infinite possibilities of my hacking capabilities."

"If it weren't for Matt, I wouldn't have even known you had any relatives. I thought you just spawned from the deepest, darkest depths of hell," Lance stated casually. "I mean who the hell can be this tech-savvy at fourteen?"

"Only a demon who spawned from the deepest, darkest depths of hell," Pidge winked.

"Okay?" Lance cocked his head to the side before his nails began to tap against the tabletop again. "What locations are they?" He asked.

Pidge stopped typing for a second as he glanced up at Lance and went back to doing whatever he was doing. "To be quite honest, I'm skeptical of one of the places but it was Kmart and well uh-" He glanced around anxiously and began to pick at the keyboard, "Here. Mercy Hospital."

Lance felt a small laugh escape his lips, "That's a really shitty joke Pidge, what's the real location?" When he met those mocha colored eyes he felt his heart crawl its way up into his throat, "No, you've got to be kidding me! Keith's dad is here? Right now?"

"I don't know, but keep your voice down!" Pidge hissed and nearly punched Lance out of fright of other people overhearing them as if it really mattered.

Lance was so confused. If Keith's father truly worked here then why hadn't he ever visited Keith? "Is there any way you can figure out which is the one we're looking for?" Lance asked in a shaky voice.

Pidge nodded slightly, sweat forming on his brow as he went back to typing. "I just have to see which one had a marriage license and had a child, maybe even use other means of access to find him like passport IDs or even a driver license or last known address. Do you know where Keith lived as a child?"

"No," Lance shook his head slowly and began to tug on the sleeves of his red hoodie he rarely wore. For some reason, he just couldn't seem to find his blue hoodie. "Keith barely talks about himself let alone his parents, birth or adoptive."

"Well looks like I'll be doing the search for the marriage license and child birth certificates, what was Keith's original last name?" Pidge paused while typing in order to look up at Lance as if the frail-looking boy was supposed to know every little detail about Keith's life. "Wait, you wouldn't know that either. Fine, I'll do the search now."

Pidge slammed a key and in the reflection of his glasses, Lance could see that a program was being run on the homemade computer. He didn't even want to ask questions about it because he already knew it was beyond his knowledge.

"So how long do we wait now?" Lance asked as he glanced around the cafeteria nervously, the anticipation made him feel sick to his stomach.

It could be anyone, couldn't it? Keith's father could very well be a doctor here. Maybe he was the best neurosurgeon in Mercy Hospital or perhaps he was even a cancer doctor like Ari was. If he wasn't either of those maybe he was a nurse that filed paperwork and found himself looking at Keith's records every time he gets his patient chart.

Pidge picked up the other half of his sandwich and began nibbling on it as he watched the computer screen in anticipation, "I could get the results any second now, but let's just pray that it's the Kmart guy because if he worked here that would be pretty fucked up."

Pidge sighed slightly as he glanced around the cafeteria, his eyes roaming over the nurses, janitors, and even the families around them until the computer screen stopped and pulled up a match that caused him to be drawn back to the topic at hand as he took a bite from his food. Then, as his brown eyes widened and he squeezed his sandwich in shock, he began to choke on his own food.

"Oh my god Pidge!" Lance exclaimed as he tried to get out of the seat and rush over to the small kid, but a random nurse managed to get to him before Lance.

The lady managed to get the food dislodged from Pidge's throat within a few seconds. "Be careful!" She scolded him and began to walk away to seat herself next to some other nurses on their break.

"Are you okay?" Lance asked out of bewilderment. "Why the hell did you react like that?" Lance pressed.

In one weak motion, Pidge coughed and pointed to the janitor a few feet away changing out the trash bags. "Him."

Lance followed Pidge's hand and gasped as he looked over at the janitor. He was tall, muscular, the complete opposite of Keith except for his face. Like Keith, he had a sort of angular look to his chin and his nose was nearly identical to the boy in surgery. Lance stared at the short-haired man and watched as he whistled away while he worked. He had greying black hair and a rough looking five o'clock shadow that would definitely have to be shaved soon before it grew out all patchy in some areas.

"He's not Korean though," Lance stated quietly as he glanced over at Pidge.

"Keith's half American you idiot!" Pidge reached over and slapped Lance on the side of his head for saying such a stupid comment. Then, he turned his brown eyes to the computer and read out the information, "Ryan Nellis, has a marriage license with an Aerum Choi, says on record he has a single child named Keith Nellis. God, what a shitty last name to have at birth."

Keith Nellis, it had a strange ring to it that Lance just couldn't seem to explain. He liked it more than Keith Kogane, it felt real and authentic. He smiled slightly to himself as he began to repeat the name over and over in his head. It was nice, it was different, it didn't hold any famous brands to it.

"I like it actually," Lance said out loud as he placed his hand on his chin.

Pidge rolled his eyes and closed his computer, "You like it because you're totally into Keith but whatever."

"I'm not, he's my friend and anyways, I've got a girlfriend!" Lance exclaimed defensively.

Pidge stuck his tongue out in annoyance, "Whatever you say, loverboy Lance," he stated before looking back over at Ryan. "Who's going to tell Keith?" Pidge asked.

Lance's smile faded slowly as he too watched Keith's father leave the cafeteria, "Shiro can't, he's bust with Allura and Hunk is busy with whatever it is he's doing," Lance said quietly.

"I am not going do it, I've already done the research," Pidge frowned and looked over at Lance with a serious face. "Are you ready to break the news to your space ranger partner?"

"Stop referencing that shitty game already."

"Over my dead body."

Lance took in a deep breath and slowly looked over at Pidge. "I guess I'm the only one left huh?"

"Yeah, you ready?"

"No."

After they cleaned up after themselves, Lance walked back to Keith's room to find the boy sleeping quietly in his bed from the surgery. Lance felt a heavy weight on his chest as he stood above the sleeping boy who was probably dreaming of a paradise beyond this cruel world.

"I'm sorry," Lance whispered to Keith as he reached down and gently moved a piece of Keith's hair from his face.

He had always seen it in TV shows, the main character would be dazzled by the fact that their love interest looked beautiful and peaceful whilst they were asleep, but he never believed those scenes were real until now. Keith was at peace, that little frown he always had was gone and relaxed. His lips were parted slightly and his gentle breathing sounded quieter now that he was dreaming.

Lance slowly cupped the side of Keith's cheek with his hand and gently rubbed his thumb against the boy's soft skin. He didn't know what to describe the feeling inside of him as he was ready to start sweating up a storm from how hot his face felt and his heart wouldn't slow down no matter how much he willed it to do so.

Nyma never made him feel this anxious even when they were kissing, she hadn't made his heart beat so roughly in his chest. Did this have something to do with last night when Lance did the unspeakable act with the image of Keith in his mind? Did that actually have meaning behind it? Did Lance even like Nyma? Did it mean he felt something for Keith but if so what was it? It was something he couldn't figure out on his own.

He had to do something in order to see if what he was feeling was real.

He prayed no one would see what he was about to do as he leaned down and got close to Keith's face. He stared at his lips for a long moment, trying to remember the way Keith had kissed him all those weeks ago in his bedroom. He remembered how nervous he had felt when Keith had straddled him and gently pressed his lips against his only to deepen the kiss further. Lance felt those feelings from the previous night, that tight know in his stomach, that heavy feeling in his chest, and even the heat that filled his body.

Then, he squeezed his blue eyes shut and gently pressed his forehead against Keith's own. He just couldn't kiss his friend without his permission. It wasn't right.

He stood back up, sucked in a deep and shaky breath before he grabbed the hippo stuffed animal and seated himself in the seats a few feet away.

He needed to sleep in order to clear his head and sort out what he would say to the sleeping boy in front of him. He owed Keith this.

He fell asleep nearly instantly but awoke to the quiet sobs of Keith a few minutes later. His eyes fluttered open to the sight of Keith pawing at his eyes trying to wipe away each tear that slid down his face.

"He stayed," Keith mumbled to himself as he laughed slightly in relief, "he really stayed. I can't believe it, he didn't break his promise."

Lance didn't even hesitate to move Mr. Bubbles off of his chest in order to get up and walk over to Keith's bedside. Keith looked up just in time for Lance to pull him into a tight hug. "I promised you I would be here even when your eyes were closed Keith, remember?"

Keith sobbed into Lance's shirt as he grabbed at his brown hair in order to pull him in closer. "Why? Why did you stay?" He asked in a pathetic voice.

Lance took in a deep breath and leaned back in order to look into Keith's purple eyes, "Because I have to tell you so-"

Before he could even finish Keith pulled Lance back into a hug and kissed his cheek gently. "Don't move please, I just want you to hold me."

"Of course, samurai."

Lance would tell Keith everything another day, now wasn't the time.

Hi sorry for the repost, I feel slightly better about this chapter though it still sticks out pretty badly from my other chapters. I wasn't able to really do the proper details on this chapter like I was able to do on the others but I put more effort into it than the original so that's all that counts.

For an apology, I'm giving y'all a sneak peek at the novel version since I've been writing chapter one every chance I get. Have these two tiny little Milo and Matias scenes.

Milo nodded slightly as he checked his outfit for probably the third time now, "Maybe you should go with me I mean your mother paid for it and I'm going there with a bunch of strangers who probably have schizophrenia or some other mental illness that drives them crazy," The ginger boy's brown eyes widened suddenly as he twisted around and grabbed Matias's shoulders in order to shake his friend. "Oh god, what if one of them attack me because I'm so small and cuddly?" He exclaimed as he began to hyperventilate.

With a bleak expression, Matias rolled his head back and sighed, "Don't stereotype all schizo kids Sunny, I'm pretty sure some of them aren't all that bad."

~~~~~~~

Matias lifted his left arm and looked under it just in time for Milo to scurry past under it with this determined look on his face as he rushed over to the vending machine leaving Matias looking like a bug-eyed dork all alone. He absolutely hated it when his friend did that to him and even after three years of their friendship, he still wasn't used to it.

Matias and Milo are the Lance and Hunk of the story. I decided to make them friends before the support group because I felt like it would be better. I hope you enjoyed the chapter and the little excerpts from the novel version. Matias is 100% that one friend who will place his chin on his shorter friends head and stuff his hands into their pockets despite their protests. He's that guy.

Have a great halloween-eve.

-Anri