This took years to write, sorry. The uh-special part is at the end so beware.

★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★

Where to start?

Keith missed being at home where he could quietly watch his koi pond and feed his hungry fish, he missed being able to just laze around in his bed, and he missed that adrenaline rush he got when he stole something at the store with his no good pals he hadn't seen in quite some time. He was missing the old life he had left behind because of stupid cancer forcing him to be in the stupid hospital with all these stupid rules, like one being that he couldn't leave his room. Stupid, stupid, stupid and confining rules that restricted him from being himself.

He sat in his hospital bed like any other day here and messed with the pink fluff on Mr. Bubble's head giving him different hairstyles and just took out all his mental frustration on the stuffed animal. He was so angry. At one point Keith nearly threw himself onto the floor and screamed, he could not take being confined to a single room forever. The only thing that seemed to calm him down were the flowers next to his bed that Lance had brought him.

They were just so beautiful. He hated roses, he thought they were overly cliché and gross to stare at so looking at the lilies Lance gave him made his chest warm up. He liked lilies because they were just different than most flowers people would buy. They weren't overused like roses, but they weren't as vibrantly colored as daisies, they were just right. Keith relaxed slightly as he stopped styling Mr. Bubble's fluff into a Mohawk and gazed dreamily at the flowers being caressed by the afternoon sunlight filtering in through his closed shades.

"I miss you..." Keith quietly whispered as he reached out to touch a petal gently.

The texture of it reminded him of Lance's hair and how soft it was. He wanted to run his fingers through those coffee colored locks all day and just dreamily gaze into his tourmaline-blue eyes that seemed to captivate him oh so much. Now that Keith thought about it, he could look at anything blue and somehow see Lance's face. He could gaze at photos of the planet Neptune and imagine Lance as this dazzling sea god with piercing blue eyes and a smile gentler than a newborn puppy.

Keith felt his face grow hot as he smiled and wiggled around in his bed out of frustration and excitement. "Ugh, why are you so beautiful!" He whined out loud as he buried his face into the pink hippo. God, was he falling in love with Lance?

The longer he couldn't see him the stronger his feelings became and the more his mind wandered to the time where he had Lance under him as they shared that steamy moment together. He loved the feeling of his hair being tugged on as Lance's body arched up into his and allowed Keith to shower him in gentle yet rough kisses. He wanted to go farther than what he had with Lance that day. He imagined what would've happened if he hadn't been so shocked to hear his name be spoken in Lance's voice so... so passionately.

Keith would've probably done things he never imagined himself doing with anyone, especially Lance. He would've gone all the way to a certain point before having to stop though regretfully, but he knew exactly what he would have done to Lance if he hadn't gotten so spooked by the sound of his voice being spoken in such a tone.

He winced in bed as he felt that same feeling return back to him from the time Lance moaned his name. "Shit," Keith sat up with a freaked out expression on his face as he looked around for something to help him but he just couldn't figure out how to make his excitement go away. "Fuck fuck fuck," He whispered as he buried his face in his hands in embarrassment.

He bit his bottom lip and squeezed his eyes shut as he began to take deep breaths like he had done back at Lance's house. He didn't want his doctor or even the janitor to walk in and see him with a freaking tent pitched under his blanket, it was too damn embarrassing.

After a few moments, he felt himself calm down a little until his concentration got broken by the noise of his door opening to see Pidge waltzing in like he owned the place. Keith scrambled to pull a pillow over himself as he tried to hide it from Pidge who carried a laptop in his hands as he typed something into it.

"You know I'm really happy, today was teacher work day at my school because it gave me time to just do some research on this important project I've been working on," Pidge plopped himself down on the bed next to Keith without even glancing up to look at the red-faced boy. "I think you'd love to get a look at this-"

"Pidge," Keith said as he ground his teeth, his heart thundering in his chest as he clutched the pillow against his body, "Now is not the time for your silly games," he growled, purple eyes glaring down at the small freshman who looked confused.

Pidge furrowed his brows as scanned Keith over for a brief second before his face turned bright red. He jumped off the bed and snapped his computer shut in embarrassment, "Oh my god, oh my god that's so gross Keith, ew!" He shouted as he nearly tripped over himself trying to slide the privacy curtain between them. "You're going to make me vomit all over myself if you're excited about who I think it is, but congratulations in other news!"

Keith grabbed Mr. Bubbles firmly before he chucked it into the silhouette of Pidge on the other side of the curtain, "Shut the hell up you little pest!" He shouted in embarrassment and hid under his blanket with his pillow between his legs. This was literally the worst thing to ever happen to him.

"It's only natural for you to get a boner thinking about La-" Pidge struggled behind the curtain as he tried to pick up Mr. Bubbles without dropping his computer.

Keith stopped his friend before he could finish his sentence, "I wasn't thinking about that asshole!" He whined before he bit his lip and tried not to cry from how embarrassed he was that Pidge saw him like this. "Just shut up and pretend you never saw me!"

There was a silent moment in the room where the only thing Keith could hear was his heart beating in his chest so roughly as he tried to keep himself from having a mental breakdown in front of Pidge. This was worse than having cancer.

Pidge let out a little sigh from behind the curtain before he slid it open in order to place the hippo onto the bed gently. "I was going to the meeting and I just wanted to give you something before I left, but it can wait until tomorrow. Also," Pidge rolled his brown eyes as he reached over to grab Keith's phone, "You're going to be attending the meeting through facetime so you need to lose your little buddy downstairs before I call you."

Keith groaned pathetically under the sheets as he quietly wished for Pidge to leave because it was way too hot under there, "I can't get rid of it now that I've seen you here Pidge. You destroyed my mental image of Lance already, there's no way I can even think about him without worrying about you barging in on me again."

"So," Pidge smiled slyly as he began to make his way to the door, "You were actually thinking of Lance then, huh? Just look at photos of him or some weird shit you kids do to let your stress out."

Keith's face turned red hot as he realized he accidentally told Pidge that he had been thinking about Lance. He groaned and pressed his palms against his face and gasped at how hot it was. It was like a freaking grill and the heat under the sheets was so not helping him! "S-Shut up, just get the hell out of here already!" Keith shrieked.

Pidge didn't even say a word as he shut the door behind him to leave Keith in the silence of his own room once more, alone with his thoughts and his uh- troubles. He slowly peeked over the edge of the sheets to see that there was no one else in the room with him. Letting out a small sigh of relief he pulled the curtain all around his bed while holding his pillow close to his body before he crawled back into bed and grabbed his phone.

The meeting was to start in ten minutes, there was no way he could do this in ten minutes! He let out a little squeak of frustration as he quickly opened his text messaging app and entered in Lance's name to pull up his stupid little draft he thought he had deleted. This was enough to make him calm down enough to think straight, well as straight as he could.

Keith: Lance, I have to confess this to you or I'll never be able to get over it. I like you, not as a friend but as something more.

Keith's body seemed to relax slightly at the sight of the text as his face cooled down and his heart dropped slightly in his chest. What was wrong with him? This was a one-sided crush, wasn't it? Lance could never like someone like him, he was just some idiot who dressed like someone he wasn't and acted all badass when in reality he just wanted someone to hold him close and never let him go.

A small teardrop slid down Keith's cheek as he sniffled at the text he never sent to Lance, why was he like this? He always wanted things he could never have. Lance was straight and happily with Nyma even though she was just a bitch, Keith would never able to compete with someone like her who captured a boy's heart with just two words.

What could he do against someone like that?

Slowly Keith lowered his phone and brought his blanket to his face to wipe away his tears. He wanted someone, no not just anyone, he wanted Lance to be next to him, to hold him and kiss him and tell him that no matter what happens he'll always be at his side.

That's all he ever wanted, after all, someone to be there with him no matter how hard times got. He wanted the moral support he was never allowed to have grown up and had someone love him like no one else ever did.

Keith laughed slightly to himself as he wiped away at his eyes and took in a shaky breath, "Don't be so stupid Keith, you've done just fine without anyone like that all these years. You don't need him," he tried to repeat that to himself as if it could help him somehow stop crying over Lance, the person he could never have.

It didn't work, but it did help him with his other issues.

A knock sounded on the door causing Keith to wiped his face clean and use the hippo to shield the world from his red and blotchy face. "Pardon me, I'm here to pick up your trash," the janitor spoke in a heavy southern accent.

Keith sighed as he relaxed slightly, "My food tray is on the table near the bathroom," He mumbled.

He never actually saw the janitor since he was quiet most of the time about getting Keith's garbage, but he felt calmer at the sound of his weird voice. "Thank you kiddo," the janitor barked.

Keith's purple eyes slowly followed the large and stocky build of the silhouette on the green curtain as the janitor started to take care of the waste in Keith's room. He just sat there quietly, sniffling now and then as he tried to get himself to be normal once more. The man stopped moving for a moment whenever he heard Keith's sniffles, but shook his head and continued to work.

"Say," Keith mumbled as he played with the pink fluffy fur on Mr. Bubbles quietly, "Do you have any kids, Mr. Janitor?" He asked.

He wasn't really looking to hear a long explanation or even a 'Yes', he just wanted someone to talk to right now and this was the only person around. The janitor let out a short snicker and he stood up with the trash in hand, "Yeah, I actually have a son, but he moved out a long time ago and hasn't talked to me in years."

Keith frowned slightly as he lifted his head up a few inches to stare at the silhouette with purple eyes burning with curiosity, "Why did he leave?" Keith clasped his hand over his mouth and instantly felt guilty about asking a question like that which wasn't something he felt often. "S-sorry!"

The janitor put the uneaten food into the large trashcan he toted around and leaned on it with a loud sigh, "Don't worry about it kid," the man said quietly before he continued, "Time just got away from us and he moved on with his life while I stayed stuck up in the past."

Keith quietly moved his gaze to the window and watched as the breeze outside shook the leaves on the trees. "What's he do now? Occupational, I mean."

"I don't know, I see him now and then in the city but I've never talked to him."

Keith felt sympathetic towards the guy, he was in a similar situation after all, but at least the old guy got to see his son, right? Or perhaps it was a burden on him, seeing his own flesh and blood every day but never being able to speak to him, it had to weigh down heavily on his heart.

"Where's your parents then kiddo, if you don't mind me asking."

Keith's own heart felt like it weighed a ton as he felt his body become heavy in grief, "I...I don't know, sir," Keith said quietly as his purple eyes shifted back to the hippo in his arms. "My mother left me and my father after I was born and my father abandoned me, I wouldn't know where they are. Hell, I can't even remember what they look like, so they could be right in front of me and I would never know."

The janitor stood there in silence as he got ready to leave the room. Then, with a deep sigh, he spoke one last time, "Maybe you'll see them one day kid. Just maybe."

Keith would've said something but he was caught off guard by his phone ringing showing that the therapy session was ready to start. Keith fixed his hair and crossed his legs before he sat up straight clearly forgetting that he was even holding Mr. Bubbles against his chest still before he picked up the phone and was greeted by the sight of the entire group minus Allura.

He couldn't see Pidge simply because Pidge was holding the phone out to the group so that everyone could see Keith and frankly, Keith couldn't help but feel like everyone in the group was having a shitty day like him. Especially Lance. Lance had a bruised cheek and his lip was split and had dried blood on it, needless to say, Keith felt so angry staring at him because he knew it was the work of Lotor.

Hunk sat next to him with a guilty expression on his face and a few bruises on his own face though not as severe as Lance's and would definitely disappear by the end of the week. Shiro had a spot empty between him and Lance, Keith's spot, and he looked worried as he tapped his foot and glanced up now and then at where Allura would have been next to Pidge if she had been there.

"Hey Keith," Olivia smiled and waved at the phone making Keith scowl slightly, he just really hated her optimism, okay. "I'm glad to hear that your surgery will be tomorrow, how do you feel?" She asked.

Keith stared blankly into the camera and wondered if she could even see him with her stupid little eyes. Hell, even he was looking at the little spot that showed his face, he looked almost like he had literally climbed straight out of hell. His skin was still between the nasty color of a pale yellow and the whites of his eyes still had the yellow spots; how did she think he was doing? He was literally dying internally as they spoke!

"I feel like Beyonce," Keith said sarcastically as he narrowed his eyes at the ginger woman.

Olivia clapped her hands together in that annoying way she always did to start the meeting, "Great, so let us begin with discussing everything you all have done together!" She then narrowed her eyes onto Lance for a long moment before she smiled at Pidge, "You can begin Katie-"

"Oh um," Pidge cleared his throat awkwardly and shook the camera slightly giving Keith motion sickness. "I go by Pidge now as my name, Shiro actually helped me take a step forward with my gender dysphoria and I've felt much better after becoming Pidge thanks to everyone's support," Pidge didn't have to turn the camera towards his face for Keith to know the short kid was smiling sheepishly.

Olivia's smile softened slightly as she stared at Pidge with a gentle look on her face, "Well, welcome to the group Pidge. We all accept you for who you are on the inside. Now, Lance what did you and Hunk do?"

Was that supposed to be a rhetorical question, because the entire group knew for a fact that Lance hadn't spent any time with Hunk ever since he started dating Nyma, actually, he hadn't spent time with any of them and it frustrated Keith just seeing him sitting there twiddling his thumbs as he made up some blatant lie.

"We went and got coffee, he met this nice girl named Shayla and -" Lance winced as Keith grumbled loudly in annoyance to cut him off.

Keith was glaring at Lance from behind Mr. Bubbles, everyone's gaze on the phone screen he was displayed on, "Really Lance? Are you actually going to lie when everyone knows what really happened? And her name is Shay, not Shayla you asshole."

Olivia's eyes widened as she looked between Keith and Lance, "Keith shut up, you wouldn't understand what I've been through today so don't try to start any unnecessary drama," Lance glared around Hunk to stare at Keith with narrowed blue eyes.

"It isn't unnecessary if the root cause of it all is your problematic girlfriend," Keith replied with his stupid voice crack showing that he was getting really heated up over it all. God, he just really wanted to choke that jerk. "Pidge, throw me at Lance since I can't actually hit him!" He commanded the small teen.

"What, no! I'm not breaking my phone so you can digitally hit your boyfriend!" Pidge exclaimed from behind the screen and began moving around as Lance got up to grab the phone away from Pidge.

"Then I'll throw him in the garbage where he belongs!" Lance shouted as he leaned over Pidge and grabbed for the phone only for Pidge to shove him away with his little legs.

"Don't touch my shit!" Pidge shouted angrily and Keith watched as Lance fell over onto his rear with an angry expression on his face. "Next time I'll kick you hard enough so that you won't have any kids!"

The room was in chaos at this point as Pidge dropped his phone and began to wrestle with Lance as the Cuban boy lunged for the phone. Shiro jumped up in order to pull Pidge away from Lance, but the kid managed to jam his elbow into Shiro's gut and spring free where he went right back to Lance who had successfully grabbed the phone with a triumphant look before letting out a girly shriek as Pidge shoved his face into the ground.

"I said don't touch my stuff you dickweed!" Pidge shrieked.

Olivia was seen in the background of the video struggling to get Pidge and Lance to stop wrestling, but Keith couldn't get a clear view as he tried not to throw up from the camera sliding across the floor of the church, the video spinning. When it finally came to a stop Keith could see Hunk holding Lance in a headlock with the most serious face he had ever seen on the boy's face. He looked like he had had so much rage inside of him waiting to spill over and yet he seemed so calm; it was like Keith's worst nightmare.

"Lance," Hunk said forcefully as he held his squirming friend still, "Cut it out man, don't let your anger out on the group," his voice was calm yet his face screamed murder.

Keith was still trying to get his head to stop swimming around from nausea as Pidge grabbed his phone and sat back down looking like a wreck. "So," Olivia said awkwardly as she straightened out her bright colored outfit that made her look like a walking highlighter. "Keith, what went on with you and Allura?"

"Well apart from me nearly dying," Keith groaned as he clutched his stomach. God, he hated Lance for making him feel so sick. "I think we became friends."

"That's great news," Olivia clapped quietly where she sat and fished around inside her bag for her clipboard. Her red brows furrowed together as she pulled it out and read it. "We'll be talking about how your problems directly impact your social life and what you believe you could improve on."

Cancer, it made people who didn't care about you before pity you and give you fake 'get well soon' cards. "I'll go first," Lance raised his hand before he crossed his arms over his chest and glared down at the floor. "Bulimia makes people who already bullied you look at you in an even worse way because you're that fat kid who pukes after each god damn meal just to be skinny and desirable. It makes you face constant discrimination and hate. I question whether I deserve it and half the time I fucking do, is that what you want to hear?" He glared at Olivia with so much pain in his eyes that Keith wanted to hop in his wheelchair and cart himself down to the church and hug the kid.

Keith was going to punch Lotor the first chance he got. Olivia stared at Lance with wide eyes like all the other people in the circle except for Hunk who apparently knew exactly what Lance was going on about. Olivia didn't dare write a single word down as she set the clipboard down and gave Lance her full attention. "Why don't you do something with the bullies like report them, and why do you lead yourself to believe you deserve it?" She asked out of genuine concern.

Lance shifted uncomfortably in his chair before he began to fidget with a piece of his brown hair, "Adults don't care about us, the staff only cares about their paychecks. Student drama stays exactly how it is and the school would rather bury the bully reports than face them because the more they deal with it the more they've got to disclose how the student body is and their ratings drop. Bad ratings mean less money, less money means bad paychecks. Do you honestly think they truly care about their students rather than their paychecks?"

Olivia frowned slightly as she nodded quietly in her seat, "I hate to admit you're right, but it wasn't that long ago when I was in high school myself so I know exactly what you're talking about but," her gaze hardened on Lance suddenly as she straightened her posture, "Why do you blame yourself so much?"

"Because if I didn't vomit every single little calorie I consume," Lance's face fell as his voice shrunk in volume, clearly he had become self-conscious about his feelings, "People wouldn't view me as a weird kid, no, that one disgusting kid."

"I don't think you're disgusting," Shiro piped up as he played with his white fringe, "I think you're just struggling to find the real you right now."

Olivia shifted her gaze over to the senior, "What makes you say that?"

Shiro shrugged slightly as he remained silent for just a moment, "He's here for a reason just like the rest of us, he's here to get the help he needs by talking about his issues so him just showing up is proof he wants to save himself from the thing that controls his life...right?"

"It's like those mazes scientists put lab rats into, but in this case, Lance is the rat and his condition is the scientist," Pidge offered a comment to the group.

Keith found himself thinking about being stuck in a maze created by his cancer and shivered. It was too real and it made his entire body shake slightly to even think about. "Anxiety makes people look at me and think how pitiful I am," Hunk started as he twiddled his thumbs. "All I want are people who would be alright with just talking to me without feeling like they have to cater to me and I wish that I didn't always feel so self-conscious about everything I do constantly sweating over the thought of whether or not I would get judged by my peers, you know?"

"It's like that with my gender dysphoria as well," Pidge chimed in as he continued the discussion, a large smile painted Olivia's face. "People look at me and judge me because of my condition and how I want to be someone else. They chalk it up to be me just not wanting a period, a chest, or even the feminine facial features I have, but in actuality, it's something so much more serious than me not being comfortable with myself," Pidge took a deep breath to calm his shaky voice. "Sometimes I'll wake up and wish that I could get some type of uterine cancer just so that I could lose the parts of my body that make me feel so disgusted and ashamed of myself, no offense Keith."

"If I had cancer in my vagina I would give it to you no strings attached," Keith stated bluntly and he truly meant exactly what he said.

Lance looked at the camera with a face full of confusion, "Keith you're a guy though, you don't have a vagina."

Keith, for some peculiar reason, he glanced down at himself before looking back up at the phone, "Yeah but like if I had one I mean, I would totally give my cancer to Pidge, you know? Help a brother out."

"That's not how it works, Keith."

"But I'm just saying if I could I-"

"How does cancer affect your social life, Keith?" Olivia's eye twitched slightly out of annoyance as she tried to get the discussion back on subject.

Keith fell silent as he thought about it for a while. To be honest, he didn't know because he never had any real friends before cancer made its appearance the first time, so when he got it all of his 'friends' pretended to care simply because his family was rich and famous. "I wouldn't know, my career influences my social life more than my cancer does."

Olivia frowned slightly as she scribbled on her clipboard. Keith really wasn't in the mood to lie today, not after listening to everyone else talk about their social issues with their peers; it wouldn't have been fair to them if he made up a sob story for the pity points.

"What makes you say that?" Olivia pressed as she tapped her pen against the clipboard.

Keith held Mr. Bubbles closer to him and looked away from the camera shyly, "Because people pretended to be my friend in hopes of being able to be famous, but when I got cancer they tried even harder by acting like they cared with roses and the same generic 'get well soon' cards. Half of them thought my name was Kendrick, amazing friends right?"

No one really knew how to respond to this and it was evident from their grim expressions. Maybe all of them had someone sort of like that in their lives and hearing that Keith's friendships were all built on someone's selfish desires resurfaced bad memories.

Keith was thankful for Shiro to change the subject as quickly as he had done, it took the spotlight off of him. "PTSD makes being in relationships one of the hardest things imaginable because your partner is too scared to even hold your hand at times out of fear of causing an episode," Shiro sighed deeply. Everyone knew he was talking about Allura even without him saying it outright. "It makes my school life hard because all my teachers try to associate all my bad grades with my illness and never take into consideration that I may just be a bad test taker. Students also stay away from me thinking I'm some sort of freak who lies about his own father for attention."

All of their worries were things other teens suffered from on a daily basis by why did it feel like it happened to them just way too often. Maybe because it was the fact that it was natural for kids their age to feel that everything happening to them was the absolute worse case scenario. The therapy session ended early when Olivia had a phone call from one of the staff members at the support group prompting her to give everyone a piece of candy and tell them each individually how important they were as people.

It was an anticlimactic end to a session that had gotten the most progress done within an hour than the rest. Everyone had their buddies switched as well; Shiro was with Keith, Lance was with Pidge, and Allura was with Hunk. As Lance started to leave the room Keith begged Pidge to pass him over to the tall boy and with much reluctance, the short freshman did so.

"What do you need Keith? Don't you have a chemo session or something to go to?" Lance grumbled as he stood next to the bathrooms with half his face in the camera with a dirty look on it.

Keith's throat felt dry as he tried to talk to the boy, "I wanted to say thank you, Lance," He said hoarsely.

A thin little mocha colored eyebrow lifted itself on Lance's dark skin in a movement of pure curiosity. "Thank me for what?" He asked.

Keith hadn't noticed it before, but Lance's teeth had been turning yellow from all the acid from his condition. He sighed deeply and raised Mr. Bubbles's little arm and waved, then he spoke in the worst southern accent he could muster, "For being a friend and not giving up, partner! Even if that asshole Lotion-"

"Lotor."

"Lotion," Keith growled as he continued, "bully's you, don't forget I'm always here to listen even if Nyma doesn't want you to be by my side."

Lance smiled slightly at the camera as he stared down at Keith trying to not blush out of embarrassment of being so childish. "Of course, we're friends right?"

"Virgin bros for life?"

"Virgin bros."

Keith felt a smile cross his face as he stared at Lance through the screen. He really liked this boy a lot, but he didn't want to ruin Lance's relationship with Nyma out of Keith's own selfishness. He wanted Lance to be happy and him being happy meant being with Nyma. He was fine with it, but only if it meant Lance got the happy ending Keith wanted him to have.

Lance gently touched the end call button with the picture of a smiling Keith on the screen. He wasn't going to lie to himself, seeing Keith with the hippo he had bought for him made Lance feel happy. Especially since the lilies he had also bought were on the table next to Keith's bed. Just the sight of the things Lance bought for Keith made him feel all warm and fuzzy inside.

"Are you two done yet?" Pidge asked as he tapped his foot on the floor impatiently.

Lance nodded and handed over the phone carefully, "Sorry about earlier, I had a rough day at school if you couldn't tell."

It was the truth. He had decided to punch Lotor square in the face for what he had done to Marcia and Lance may or may not have called the jock out on his sketchy ways like how he touched Lance in more than just a bully type of way. This didn't go over well and ended with Lance having a busted lip and a bruised cheekbone, but Hunk tried to stop the fight as well causing him a few injuries. Lance felt guilty for causing Hunk so much trouble, but at the same time, it had felt so amazing to slam his fist into Lotor's face.

Pidge stared at Lance for a short moment before he let out a little sigh, "You're fine, but hey," he furrowed his little eyebrows together and stuck his index finger into the air, "don't touch my shit, Lance."

Lance made a choleric face as he sighed deeply, "I know, trust me I want kids when I'm old enough so I won't screw with your things!" He grumbled.

Pidge smiled in content as he slid his phone into his pocket. "I was doing this thing for Keith and I wanted your opinion on it if you wouldn't mind," He stated as his cheeks flushed red and he became embarrassed.

Lance raised his eyebrows and cocked his head to the side as he crossed his arms over his chest, "And that is?"

Pidge kicked at the floor of the church, whispered a swear under his breath, and kept his eyes away from Lance. "I was searching for Keith's biological father and I've gotten pretty far within a day; he didn't really try to cover his tracks up all that well."

"Wait," Lance dropped his voice into a quiet whisper as he saw Hunk and Shiro walking towards them. "You're doing that for him? What the hell did he do to get a big favor like that from someone like you?"

Pidge scowled as he most likely resisted the urge to punch Lance, "It doesn't matter what he did to make me do it. I just want to know if you believe Keith would want to see him if I found him, I already found his mother..."

Lance glanced up at the two teens approaching them warily before he grabbed Pidge's shoulders and pulled him into the bathroom. They stumbled into a stall where Lance locked the door behind them and Pidge looked absolutely mortified to even be in the dirty place where men were supposed to be; not someone like him.

"Lance!" Pidge exclaimed in shock as he tried to keep enough distance between him and the toilet without touching Lance. "I'm not supposed to be in here!" He shrieked in fear.

"Listen," Lance covered Pidge's mouth with his hand and held his index finger up to the short kid's face with a stern look. "I can't speak for Keith at all, but I think you should tell him that you do have knowledge about his family depending on what it is. If it's nothing but bad news, spare the kid, I mean he's suffered enough as if you know," He listened for the noise of the bathroom door creaking open for just a second before he continued, "What happened to his mother?"

He slowly lifted his hand from Pidge's face and watched as the pale freshman used his green sweatshirt sleeve to wipe his face in disgust, "Okay first of all," Pidge reared back and slammed his fist into Lance's shoulder roughly causing the lanky boy to stumble into the stall door in a loud bang. "Don't ever put your damn hand on my mouth, I do not know what you do with your hands and frankly I don't care, but if you must know about Keith's mother, she's," he hesitated for a moment before shaking his head and continuing, "She's dead Lance. She died giving birth to Keith and he doesn't even know it. His father lied to him."

"How the hell do you know this?" Lance exclaimed but before he could even get the answer he sought for, Shiro came bursting into the bathroom in anger.

"Lance, what are you doing to Pidge in there?" He demanded as he knocked on the door loudly.

"He's not doing anything," Pidge spoke up before adding a sarcastic little, "Dad."

"Then why did he grab you like that?" Hunk asked quietly and Shiro's anger began to dissipate.

Lance didn't know what to say, he was still shocked at the news of Keith's mother. How could she be dead when Keith had lived believing she probably had a new life without him? Lance stared into Pidge's mocha eyes for a moment and practically begged the midget to help him lie.

"Lance was uh-" Pidge frowned slightly as he began mouthing different words to Lance asking what to say, but when they couldn't agree on a lie he got fed up, "We were discussing how to get rid of his hemorrhoid problem, it's uh- it's really really bad, Hunk."

Lance's ears felt like they were roasting in the sun outside suddenly as he felt his cheeks flush red hot and his heart nearly leaped out of his chest like one of those overdramatic cartoons. God, why would a science nerd like Pidge decide to say hemorrhoids out of all the things in the world; hell diarrhea was better!

"Oh," Hunk said slowly, "I'm sorry man, that really sucks."

Shiro decided that anything Pidge said was a lie and used his father voice to scold the kid through the ugly green metal door that kept them apart, "Pidge, don't make up such an embarrassing lie."

Pidge turned bright red as he squeezed his eyes shut and clenched his hands into little fists, "Fine!" He shouted, "We were talking about my period okay, are you both happy now?"

Lance felt his embarrassment disappear just as fast as it had appeared and then it dawned on him that Pidge still had those little things all people with his body had. He hadn't connected the dots before, but now he could see it; the mood swings during the meeting and the excessive anger and swearing. The poor kid looked like he was about to explode from how red his face was and Lance felt an intense feeling of sympathy for her to the point where he would do anything.

And that's what he did, he did that little anything for the little guy. He sucked in a deep breath and adjusted his jeans before he ruffled Pidge's hair. "We were talking about my hemorrhoids Shiro, I felt like you guys would have been really grossed out if you overheard me talking about how hard it was to take a sh-"

"No," Shiro raised his voice to silence Lance and Lance listened as the senior shuffled himself out of the bathroom, "Just no."

That's a quick way to get rid of a friend, talk about your nonexistent hemorrhoids and you're sure to lose what little of a social life you had. "Dude," Hunk said slowly as he too began to leave the room, "Don't be so weird about it."

Lance listened as the door shut behind the two boys leaving Lance and Pidge alone in the bathroom stall. He didn't exactly know what to do in a situation like this especially when Pidge was on the verge of tears so he did the one thing he could only think of doing, he hugged Pidge closely and held him in his arms for as long as the small teen would let him.

"You know," Lance said with a small smile on his face as Pidge sniffles in his arms, "I actually did have hemorrhoids at one time so it wasn't a complete lie."

"That's fucking gross dude."

"Yeah," Lance closed his eyes and let out a short laugh, "I know."

Time had flown by that day and by the time Lance had gotten home, the stress on his shoulders had only been increased with the news about Keith's biological parents and the whole fight from earlier where he had gotten his ass kicked in front of the entire school. Nyma had simply watched with a red face as Lotor punched Lance, he didn't know how to feel about that to be perfectly honest. It was something that seemed a little weird to him since, after all, she was his girlfriend, therefore, she should've been there for him, but she hadn't been.

Lance laid in his bed staring up at the ceiling with the shadows of his lamp caressing the side of his face while his TV played reruns of How I Met your Mother and his body feeling tense. He needed some way to let himself loose, but nothing came to mind as he stared at the clouds on his ceiling for minutes upon minutes. God knows how long it had been until he finally moved at the sound of his phone chiming.

He rolled over in bed and opened his phone to some suggestive texts from his girlfriend, but he just wasn't in the mood for that type of interaction, especially not after how she hasn't even helped him.

He frowned and quickly typed his reply; not now Nyma, I'm not in the mood for this tonight.

Within seconds her reply came in and she persisted that they do what she had been trying to pressure him into for a few days now. She really wanted to take things at her own pace and not even consider whether or not Lance wanted to have a slow relationship or not. He wanted a relationship where he felt like he got the full experience with it; the raw emotions of pure love, the warm and fuzzy feeling in his chest when he held hands with the special person, he wanted to be able to see a future with them where they had a large and happy family like his that would support each other no matter what. He just needed someone who valued his feelings as much as their own.

Nyma: you're never in the mood for anything I want to do Lance, why can't you just do this with me this one time? I have needs that need to be taken care of so why are you being so selfish?

Lance groaned in annoyance as he quietly swore himself out, maybe he was being stupid about this whole thing? Nyma was a girl and girls had some needs guys didn't have as much, maybe he should just do this for her so he wouldn't have to listen to her complain. Oh wait, that's all she ever did actually, all she did was complain about something he did whether it be his bad breath (he couldn't control that okay, it was a package deal with his disorder) or even the fact he was skinnier than her. There was something always wrong.

He weighed the pros and con's about this situation and caved into Nyma's demands with a simple, yet reluctant, the picture that his mother would have screamed and died from a heart attack if she would've known what he had sent to the girl he had been dating for only a few days. It was weird doing this over the phone, it didn't give him a strong feeling like kissing Keith had done for him. He laid in bed, phone in hand his other hand doing a little something different than what he would normally be doing in right now. You see, this was a win-win situation in a way, he could lose his stress while taking care of Nyma's needs through texting so who could exactly blame him?

He was a teen too, all teens had at least one experience doing this sort of stuff, but not all teens would sit there thinking about their friend instead of their girlfriend as they breathed in awkward, hushed breaths as his face warmed up in pleasure. He had to admit it was weird of him to imagine Keith's hot breath against his sweaty skin, but the shivers that run down his spine made it feel so right. He was barely even connected to reality as he responded to Nyma every other text she sent because he was getting wrapped up in his little fantasy world that was helping him relieve the stress that had been putting a damper on his mood that day. He groaned quietly as he remembered how it felt to have Keith kiss him so deeply while he straddled him on this very bed. He could clearly recall how it had felt to have Keith's soft lips trail down his neck, sending these spine-tingling sensations through his body that made his body move with a mind of its own. He had now lost any and all interest in the stupid texts he was sending Nyma as he fell deeper and deeper into fantasy, losing touch with reality and what was important.

How couldn't he think about going further with these crazy thoughts swimming through his head? He wanted Keith to run his hands down his body, trailing his warm fingers down Lance's body so carefully almost as if he knew it made the boy wriggle around below him in uncontrollable desire and a need for more.

He couldn't help but imagine his friend being the one to hold him so roughly in his hands and give Lance the same exact feelings he was giving himself now. He wanted Keith to be in there with him, he wanted him to be the one to look at him with so much love in his eyes as he helped him lose all the stress in his life. He couldn't help but just imagine it, the movements Keith would do. He definitely had to have done it before right? He said he never kissed anyone before, but the way he treated Lance that day begged to differ so surely he knew how to handle this sort of thing.

"Keith..." Lance quietly moaned to himself as he finished his little fantasy in his head.

His body felt so much lighter after he cleaned everything up and breathed heavily in his bed, but this time instead of looking at his phone to see Nyma he quietly stared at the picture of Keith on his nightstand. What was wrong with him? Lance found himself becoming confused the longer he stared at it. Why did he choose to see Keith and not Nyma? He was just friends with Keith, hell, he was supposed to be straight but the longer he looked at that beautiful photo a few feet away he couldn't help but feel a heavy sense of guilt and insecurity welling up inside of him.

What was he doing wrong in his life?

So I know some of y'all expected it to be in more detail about Lance's dick basically but if you know me I'm just not the person who enjoys over sexualizing fictional characters or just writing about masturbation/sex in general because I feel like it's something personal you should experience rather than read since everyone's first time is different.

I had a very long and very awkward talk with my best male friend about how to write this part and though he was glad to help he has a message for y'all,

"Why the fuck"

He was really confused when I approached him about it but after I explained to him I needed help with this he obviously lent a hand, no pun intended, and told me different ways I could take this chapter. Originally, Keith was supposed to be the one to do this and it was going to be at the start but you can clearly see where I decided to change my mind and do what you guys wanted to see; Lance discovering his sexuality.

When one tries to discover their sexuality, it's a very confusing moment so that is why I ended it like that because Lance needs to figure out what everything means he won't just have that
"Oh fuck I'm gay"
Moments most fanfictions have because that's just not how the world works darling.

I'm sorry I didn't make it detailed but I at least tried and I am extremely embarrassed about posting this so please, give constructive criticism so that I'll know what to do during the smut scene because that may actually be my fucking death. If y'all think I'm being over dramatic like, I texted a bunch of people
"Fuck me, save me why did I sign up for this"
Or
"I can't do this I'm blushing and I'm going to die if I post this!"

So yes, writing a smut scene may actually kill me.

Ahhhhhhhhhh please give me honest opinions and if the scene is not fitting with the story I can change it but I am not going to be going into full details like most fics do about dicks like ew no why ;-;

-Anri