This chapter is a day late and short. I'm sorry, I was just having issues trying to write this chapter because I was going to have an autistic character to have a more diverse thing going on but I struggled really hard with it and trying to not make them be the stereotypical one often portrayed in literature. I did a really bad job at showing it but Zethrid is the character with autism, please tell me what should be changed or added to her character. She isn't going to be shown much in the story but I wanted to show some more representation you know. Please, enjoy.
Also, point out errors, please

Allura had been glowing as she walked into school, fingers entwined with Shiro's while people looked at her new hair. No one would have expected the student council president to be the one to chop their hair off and dye it some weird color without any reason to it, or that's at least what Allura had been hearing even as she sat in her first hour class quietly taking notes with a tiny smile curling the corner of her lips up.

"Nice hair," a pink haired girl stated cheerfully from next to Allura.

Allura didn't even have to look up to know who it was. Ezor was the school's little pastel loving freak that could actually pull off the style without a problem. She had long, pink hair she always kept tied back since she was always having to do cheer practice between second and third period and she wore her uniform in the least formal way possible. Her tie was always loose or sometimes not even on at times, her shirt was wrinkled and untucked and her skirt never seemed to be the appropriate length for her. Despite this, the blue-eyed girl was probably one of the more kinder kids at the academy. Aside from Shiro of course.

Allura felt her face heat up as her confidence was boosted by the cheerful and nimble girl. "Thanks, Ezor, you know," Allura checked to make sure that Mr. Slav wasn't paying attention as he rambled on and on about alternate dimension theories instead of teaching physics, "I'm thinking of doing a lavender color after I graduate. I'm not sure, maybe a white fade to purple?"

"Yuh-You should do orange and red, like fire!" Zethrid said pridefully from in front of Allura as she held up her paper to show that she had been drawing fire in the margins of her notes.

Zethrid was a strange girl standing at least six feet tall and happened to be on the boy's football team because of how physically strong she was. She could easily lift up any kid in the room which many people found a bit strange, but Allura didn't mind it since the two of them used to take karate together as kids so they were both strong, except Zethrid happened to be much stronger than her. She had short cut black hair that was shaved on one side and, dark skin just like Allura's and bright brown eyes. She was different from most of the people at school, but no one seemed to really care about it.

Allura reached up and touched her hair gently, rubbing the piece of white strands between her index and thumb. Ezor, on the other hand, nodded enthusiastically at her best friend Zethrid, "Fire colors would look totally awesome on the pres. Actually, anything would!"

Allura blushed as she became slightly bashful, "I think Zethrid would look way better than I could ever," Allura gently tightened her tie and lowered her gaze to her notes as she tried to ignore the heavy feeling in her chest.

Zethrid had a repetitive behavior habit that involved her tapping something whether it be her foot or finger; she was always tapping something. Now, she tapped her index finger against her beige-colored desk as she hummed, "F-Fire colors wo-would look good on anyone!"

"Ladies," professor Slav narrowed his little mouse like eyes as he clapped his hands together in annoyance.

Professor Slav was shorter than Allura. Standing to be about five foot exact he had oily black hair, bags under his brown eyes and his outfit always had some sort of coffee stain. He was one of the best teachers in the entire academy, but none of his students could really tolerate his uh- eccentric for the lack of a better term - personality. He would go on long rants about alternate realities, fret over something as benign as a student dropping his or her own pencil, and sometimes even go into full panic mode if he didn't think he tied his tie correctly.

He was irritating.

"Sorry, sir," Allura's face flushed red as she awkwardly looked down at her notes while the class snickered at the three girls who got scolded.

Slav rolled his beady little eyes as he held up a stack of papers he began passing out to the first student of each row. "There will be a physics field trip the amusement park a few hours away so you kids can figure out how physics plays a role in the rides at Six Flags," Oh yeah, he also had a Swedish accent.

Allura felt her brows furrow slightly as Zethrid handed her the permission slip. She held the white piece of paper in her hands and quietly stared at it as all the guilt inside of her came pouring out of every pore in her body nearly having the stench of her own past sins suffocate her. She never talked about it but she hated amusement parks for a specific reason and she would always avoid them; her problem began at one.

She was only a kid at the time, she had just recently gotten over a violent illness that had forced her to stay in bed for a while so her parents decided to celebrate her wellness the moment she could leave the house. Her parents were the best parents she could ever ask for. Alfor, her father, was someone she would forever respect no matter what. He worked as a doctor, saving lives every day as he made families cry in joy at the sight of their loved one being cured of whatever it was that brought them to Alfor in the first place. Alfor would always do the impossible and make people believe that anything could be possible.

Allura's mother, Bisera, was a self-published author who wrote self-help books and sometimes even the occasional novel that captivated the hearts of her readers. There wasn't a thing she couldn't write about and she always had her audience crying at some point in the story. She was amazing just like Alfor.

Allura swallowed down her pain as she slid the paper away into the folder and tuned Slav out as he talked about the field trip she would not be going on for special reasons. You see, the amusement park was the reason for her parent's death, the reason why she would go through the rest of her life taking the blame for everything even if she knew it somehow wasn't her fault she would make stupid connections that would argue otherwise.

If felt just like yesterday, her memories were still fresh in her mind even after the crash. She remembered every little detail from the moment of impact to the moment she blacked out and awoke in the hospital with Coran at her bedside.

All she wanted was her stuffed animal she had left back at the park and because of her own selfishness, she killed her own parents unintentionally. Her throat felt dry as her eyes began to burn slightly, she was ready to cry, but she didn't want to do it in front of everyone in the class.

Slowly, her hand lifted timidly into the air catching the attention of a few around her, "Allura?" Professor Slav furrowed his tiny brows as he narrowed his brown eyes on her from across the room.

Her lips parted slightly as she tried to summon the courage to excuse herself, but the only thing that came from her lips was the quiet sound of her own self-condemnation. Her hand dropped to her side as she held back her tears and lowered her head so that no one could see the utter shame plastered across her face like a Van Gogh painting. She was pathetic, even her stomach could attest to that as it tossed and churned about inside of her almost as if it were lost in the dangerous waters of the Pacific, rocking with the terrifyingly powerful waves.

Ezor raised her bubblegum pink eyebrow at her slightly before she looked back up at the sloth looking teacher with the rat-like nose. "I think she's going to be sick, I mean really sick," She pointed out with a disgusted tone in her voice.

Slav scrunched up his nose and crinkled his face up in a mixture of disbelief and disgust, "Oh no, we cannot have her puking all over my floor, somebody could slip!"

"Just clean it up man," a kid in the back of the room groaned. "Let her go to the bathroom if you don't want to be tasked with barf duty."

Slav rushed over to the door doing his weird little waddle and opened it to usher out Allura with the wave of his hands, "You are dismissed, young lady!" He exclaimed urgently.

Allura didn't waste any time as she sluggishly got out of her chair and began to stumble out the classroom as she struggled to keep her breakfast down from her and Shiro's little coffee date this morning. Her legs were like jelly as she struggled to maneuver around the area, her vision went in and out of blurriness causing her to nearly lose her balance as she kept her hands firmly on her gut and mouth to prevent any accidents from happening on the floor.

Her mind swam with the words of that shadow that lurked behind her, smiling as it watched how it poisoned her system with lies and made a cold sweat run down her forehead. Were they lies though? They all felt too true to not be a lie.

'You killed your parents.'

If she hadn't been such a selfish brat back then and cried about not having her stuffed animal, her parents would be there with her now. Her father would be saving lives and making people smile and her mother would be helping people through the words from her heart.

'Your life isn't worth anything more than a piece of torn paper.'

It was true. She never accomplished anything amazing in her life, she's only met academic accomplishments, but what the hell would that do for her in the long run? Her entire life outside of the academy was in shambles; she lived in the shadow of a giant lie named Richard Lindon that towered over her and snickered menacingly down at her as his claws wrapped around her body suffocating her.

'You should have never been born.'

This was the one that caused her tears to begin dripping onto the floor as she slammed her shoulder against the bathroom door. She nearly collapsed as she threw herself over the trashcan and began to cough and let everything go from her body. She shouldn't have been born. She truly should have died in that car back then.

It was always about her, her parents went to the amusement park for her, her parents brought her favorite stuffed animal for her, they even turned back around to get it to silence her cries from the backseat. If she hadn't been there, they would have never gone to their own deaths like that, they would be alive and well. Shiro wouldn't have so much pain in his life from his memories resurfacing because of her stupid mistakes, Lindon wouldn't be assaulting her and causing his family so much pain.

She was the root cause of all the pain and suffering that went on around her in the world. Coran never got a chance to marry the woman of his dreams and start his own family because he took her in instead. He would probably be in Argentina with her now if only Allura hadn't been born. She was a giant screw up, no she was a waste of breath and a fuck up. She wanted to end everyone's suffering, but she couldn't without feeling guilty of the issues that came with taking one's life.

People would be in great grief, all of Coran's sacrifices would be in vain, Lindon would just find a new student to harass maybe even worse. Her parent's deaths would have been worthless.

She wanted an out but she couldn't take one.

She was stuck in the shadows of her sins, burdened with the task of carrying them forever until her final breath. Until the moment she was placed into the dark earth with a rose in her cold hands and a face full of peace.

She slumped down on the floor, skin pale, eyes dull, and her body shaking to its core. She wanted to just sit there in the bathroom and cry yet she had no energy to do so she just sat there and stared at her shoes with a blank face.

She wanted to go home.

Her wish was heard, she was found by a girl from the student council who graciously helped her to the nurse's office and even called Coran for Allura. She quietly sat at her kitchen table with a bowl of soup in front of her face and Coran sitting across from her eating his own food.

She had no appetite and she had no willpower to go to the group meeting today either. She had the power to just sit down and stare into space, she was pathetic.

"You need to eat something sweetie," Coran said in concern as he looked up at Allura who was wearing her PJs and a blanket wrapped all around her body even though it was hotter than hell outside. It made her feel secure. "If you don't you'll just get sick again. You know, when I was a young whippersnapper like you I would always..."

Allura tuned her uncle out as she thought about her friends. They were all making some sort of progress unlike her. Keith was going into surgery in the next two days, Pidge knew who he was now, Shiro was trying to open up to her, and Lance actually managed to keep at least one meal down now but what was she doing in all this?

She was wallowing in her own self-pity like a complete selfish idiot. All she had done was cut and dye her hair. She practically did nothing compared to all of them.

She frowned slightly before excusing herself from the table in order to lock herself in her room even though Coran tried to get her to come back. She didn't want to listen to anyone, she just wanted to read and imagine being someone else for the time being.

She needed a break from life.

I'm sorry that this chapter was lacking. Like I said, I was struggling really hard with this chapter and nearly scrapped it out of frustration. I have the self-esteem of a chicken nugget so when I feel I can't write something properly I really beat myself over it but I kept myself from disregarding the chapter and starting anew with another Lance chapter.

Please tell me what to add or to take out for the autism parts of Zethrid's character. I really don't want people to feel like I don't represent their condition appropriately because shit if I do, let me know. I would hate it if mysophobia or OCD was misrepresented.

Ahhhhhh, I'm just really overwhelmed this week and weekend and I'm happy I had Monday off or I would probably lose my mind being stuck at school today.

I've started a writing tip book by the way if any of you are interested. So far it only has clichés and how to handle them tips but I'm planning on having a giant chapter dedicated to creating a good character that breaks down characters and shows what they need and don't need to be interesting.

Please leave questions/suggestions/concerns in the comments below!

Have a great Monday ❤

-Anri