Yay surprise update at 7:21 AM because I am having anxiety over the fact I have to go to a new student orientation at my new school and I know no one and I look like a female version of Nico di Angelo because I don't ever sleep. Fun.
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What was even the point of it all if all Keith did was struggle? He was always trying to be something more than what his surname told him what he could be. He didn't want to always be in the spotlight, he wanted to find himself out there in the world and do something totally spontaneous that could help him reach total enlightenment; he wanted to be at peace with himself.

However, as he stared at the reflection of his own face in the mirror, he only saw a pathetic teenager hiding from his problems. His skin was sickly pale and a trail of crimson liquid dribbled down from his nose all the way to his chin where it dripped down into the white sink he leaned over. He only noticed it while he had been doing his online schooling chemistry class, dreading over the heat of fusion questions Lance never helped him out with when his nose began to drip blood all over his keyboard causing him momentary panic as he rushed into the bathroom and leaned over his sink. That was how he got here but it wasn't the nosebleed that was making him rethink his life as he stood there; it was the little yellow spot forming on the whites of his eyes.

He understood exactly what that stupid little yellow spot meant and he didn't want to admit it. To admit what it meant would mean admitting defeat and he wasn't ready to step down and allow cancer to take over his life again. He was happy again, sort of. He didn't want to lose another piece of him like how he did during the first treatment; he wasn't ready to lose what little control over his life he had left.

"You're not going to fucking lose," He frowned at his reflection and wiped the blood off of his face.

Ever since the stupid Victoria's Secret fight between Vivian and Marcia, the pain in Keith's abdomen had been constant to the point where he barely took notice to it. He never thought that the sudden pain he felt that day was the first sign of his declining health. At any moment he could fall victim to whatever the hell was growing inside of his liver all because he was too stubborn to admit that he needed to let someone treat him again. He didn't want to feel so helpless.

He stood up straight and looked himself in the eyes as he held his shoulders up and took a deep breath before he let it out and relaxed. Today he was supposed to show Allura how to let her stress out from all the things that kept her up at night by introducing her to the things Keith did whenever he was in dire need of relaxing and forgetting about reality.

"Keith!" Vivian's voice sounded as she busted open his bedroom door.

Keith felt his heart skip a beat in his chest out of fear as he whipped open his medicine cabinet and slapped a band aid over his finger as an excuse for why he got blood all over his new computer. He didn't want to worry his little sister by having to sit through another treatment that could possibly take him away from her; she didn't deserve to go through that pain again.

Keith grabbed some tissues and walked into his room like everything was normal. He had a tight smile on his face and his eyebrows were dipped into a small frown as he wiped up his computer, "What do you need? I accidentally chewed my nail too much and it started bleeding so don't mind me!" God, why was he so stupid when he needed to act natural?

Vivian looked at him with her suspicious coffee colored gaze before she slowly crossed her arms over the pink polo she was wearing from her tennis practice earlier. "Alright then," She said slowly before she raised her eyebrow at Keith in curiosity, "I'm not going to ask what really happened since you're obviously trying to make a terrible lie right now so, how's Lance? Did he like the clothes I bought him?" She inquired as her eyes followed Keith around his room while he desperately searched for his trashcan.

Keith looked on the other side of his bed and furrowed his brows, "I don't know yet, I wasn't concerned in what he thought about the stupid shirt you bought him at the time," he stated in frustration as he checked under his desk and even next to his stupid little dresser.

Vivian continued to watch her older brother roam around his room aimlessly, occasionally glancing at the rumored trashcan inside of the squeaky clean bathroom. "I didn't think that the shirt was stupid, I mean it was the flannel you wore for our shoot the other day; I thought he'd look cute in it," she kicked at the carpeted floor and pursed her lips as she waited for Keith's response.

"Yeah that's nice Viv, how was school?" He asked absentmindedly as he began to become visibly distressed over the fact he couldn't find his stupid trashcan that was in his bathroom.

Vivian pouted as she realized her brother wasn't even listening to her. She was about ready to just leave until she noticed the neatly folded, all too familiar, blue jacket on the end of Keith's bed. She was like a little cat, always letting curiosity get the best of her and this was no different as she hopped over to Keith's made bed and plucked the jacket up from the red sheets.

"My my," she cooed as she twisted around on her heels and held Lance's jacket in the air with her fingertips, "Is this jacket the jacket I think it is? You know, the one that belongs to that smoking hot Cuban guy you slept over with on Friday?" She smirked as she lowered it below her chin and stared at Keith as she finally got a reaction from him.

Keith froze up where he was standing and felt a chill run down his spine. He knew this tone of hers all too well, this was the tone of voice she used when she was about to expose him for being the dirty little gay he was. He spun around on his heels, face red and purple eyes wide and dropped the bloody tissue onto his carpet as he rushed forward to grab for the jacket.

"I think you're mistaken Vivian," he exclaimed as he made a crummy attempt at stealing away Lance's jacket from his nimble sister's hands. "That's actually mine!" He exclaimed as he tried to catch the little blonde girl who kept dancing around his every attempt of grabbing the jacket that was in vain.

When Vivian saw how Keith had dropped the tissue on the carpet she nearly tripped over her own feet in surprise before a large smile painted her face causing her dimples to show themselves. "Oh my god Keith, you dropped trash on your floor!" She shrieked and ducked out of the way of Keith's arms.

"So fucking what?" Keith nearly managed to grab a hold of his little sister with his next attempt, but the little tennis player was too quick for him.

She shimmied out of his way showing that she was just toying with the slower boy as this point, "You never leave trash in your room, not even in your trashcan because of your stupid OCD."

Keith froze up in place as he looked over at the tissue and realized what he had just done; he had allowed his sister to let his guard down long enough so that she could figure out why he was being so weird around her. "Oh shit," he whispered as he fought the urge to dive to the ground, grab the tissue, and throw it out in the kitchen so that he could keep his room spotless.

"You," Vivian stood on her tiptoes as she walked her fingers across Keith's shoulder, biting her lip with a coy grin on her face, "Like Lance, don't you?" She whispered.

Keith nearly shoved Vivian away as he felt all of his embarrassment and frustration flow through his body. "What, no!" He shouted and stumbled away from his sister as his face grew hot.

"Your voice cracked, you're a liar!" Vivian teased.

"I would never like someone like him even if we did kiss once," he then lowered his voice and mumbled under his breath, "well, made out."

Vivian dropped Lance's jacket to the floor and gasped as she stared at Keith in shock, "Y-You made out with him? Keith," She made a weird face as she looked her brother's body up and down, "Did you two have sex? Is that why you stayed the night with him?"

Damn, Keith wished that was the case, but sadly, it wasn't and Keith was actually okay with that, to an extent. "No, I'm not stupid enough to bang my friend without going on a date first, Vivian," he grunted as he picked up the jacket before falling back on the bed to hold it to his chest. He let out a deep breath as he stared at the wall in front of him. "And anyways, he likes Nyma so it shouldn't matter what I th-"

"Who cares about that two-timing bitch right now," Vivian collapsed next to Keith and nudged him with her muscular shoulder as she gave him a stupid little look, "All I care about is that little make out session between you two, sweetie."

"I mean," Keith began to vent to his little sister, "He wanted me to teach him how to kiss so I thought that we could kiss platonically-"

"You're a dumbass," Vivian stated bluntly as she scrunched up her nose and gave Keith a disappointed look. "You can't platonically kiss someone like Lance and not expect to catch feelings for him Keith, he's like this little innocent kid who is too gullible to be left alone."

"Well I thought I could kiss him without catching feelings," Keith groaned and looked down at the jacket he held in his hands with regret in his eyes. "So when we tried to kiss the first time we bumped forehead, so out of annoyance I kind of pulled him into me to kiss him because he didn't know what he was doing and-"

"Oh so you're a Dom?"

"What the fuck, what does that got to do with me kissing my friend and stop being so gross. I'm your brother, not your best friend; I'm not discussing what I like for my sexual life with my little sister!" Keith exclaimed as he gently pushed a giggling Vivian away from him. "Anyways," he continued, "After we kissed he asked what to do if he had to make out with Nyma, tongue and all."

"That's gross," Vivian grimaced at the thought. "At least you got to second base before that bitch."

Keith nodded in agreement before he carried on, "And as I pushed Lance down against his bed and stared down at him I couldn't help but just notice how pretty he was?" He said quietly.

It was true; Lance looked really cute when he was under Keith. His bangs had fallen out of his face and his face was red as he stared at Keith, and for a moment Keith had thought that he had felt his stomach twist into knots as he realized that Lance could just look really cute when he blushed at Keith. His blue eyes had looked too innocent and uncertain as well and it made Keith feel something he hadn't felt before, a feeling deep in his heart that made him want to just smile down at his friend and snuggle him. It made him feel all warm and fuzzy but he tried to ignore it as he carried on with helping his virgin bro.

Vivian smiled quietly next to her brother as she took on a more sympathetic look almost as if she understood what Keith was talking about. "So I showed him how Nyma would hold him if the roles were switched and then I kissed him. The moment he tried to apologize for something stupid I kind of got lost in that stupid feeling inside of me and decided to show him how it was to get to second base."

"You started making out with him, what's the big deal?" Vivian asked as she leaned into Keith and rested her head on his shoulder as she continued to listen to his little story.

Keith blew air out of his nose as he looked down at Lance's jacket in his hands. "I wish it was that simple, but within seconds he was pulling my hair and squirming under me as he kissed me back. I felt so...so out of control as I felt him wriggling around and pull at my hair that I kind of started to kiss the rest of him as I worked my way to his neck. I think I would have gone all the way to we'll, you know, if he hadn't done something so stupid," Keith groaned and placed his head in his hands in shame.

"What happened?"

"He moaned my name in this stupid voice that sounded really fucking nice and I uh," Keith felt his face burn at the memory of his little realization of how he was falling for his friend. "I kind of got really, really turned on by it and popped one and bit him out of terror of what we were doing."

"Oh my god!" Vivian pulled away from him and nearly fell off the bed in horror, "You got a boner? He moaned your name and you bit him? There are so many things wrong with that I can't even choose which one to scream at you for!" She said.

Keith wanted to bang his head against the wall and cry as he realized how stupid it was to get turned on by something as simple as a little moan. Of all the things like the hand pulling or the touch of Lance's hand on his body his chose the sound of Lance saying his name to just pop one to. God, he was so lame.

"I know!" He whined and threw the jacket next to him as he tried not to cry from embarrassment. "I freaked out on him and he didn't notice how I got a boner nor did he realize he even moaned my name!"

"Wait," Vivian frowned and relaxed slightly next to her brother as she leaned in a little bit with curiosity in her eyes, "You're saying he moaned your name without realizing it?"

"Um, I did just say that didn't I?"

"Damn," Vivian smiled and nodded in approval, "You must be good at showing your friends a good time huh?"

"Whatever," Keith rolled his eyes and began to play with the tips of his bangs, "The next day we went to the support group, but I kept having these stupid thoughts about having Lance to myself and I had to go to the bathroom to cool off but I ended up making out with the receptionist out of frustration. You want to know the best part though?" Keith was actually about to cry. His eyes were watery and he was visibly shaking as he looked over at his sister pathetically, "All I could think about was Lance while I went all out on the receptionist, we almost hit a home run too, but I couldn't because it wasn't with the right person, Vivian!"

Vivian was at loss for words as she stared at her now crying brother, the guy she always admired for being strong willed and unbreakable, as he told her about how he was failing at his romantic life. Keith wiped away tears as they fell from his face, "I can't be with another person without thinking about Lance and the fact that that bitch Nyma is probably making out with my Lance, the guy who actually ripped my heart out of my chest, makes me want to just punch a wall and hole myself up in my room until the day I die!"

The next voice wasn't from the little blonde next to Keith who looked guilty, but rather from the tall girl standing in the doorway of his room with her dark hand wrapped up in a white bandage. "It hurts doesn't it?" Allura asked as she dropped her school bag on the floor as she stared at Keith sympathetically. "It hurts knowing that you can't have something you want, doesn't it?"

Keith sniffled as he looked up at Allura with a blotchy looking face, "Y-Yeah..." He admitted before he rubbed his eyes and tried to stop his little sobs that were making Vivian rub his back in hopes of comforting him.

Allura walked over to them before she sat on the other side of Keith and slowly reached out for his hand to hold in her injured one from Saturday, "Well don't give up on him Keith," she whispered quietly as she rubbed his hand gently with her thumbs. "If you just give up now and let Lance go after the stupid girl his hormones are going nuts for, then you're probably losing the opportunity of your lifetime. Who knows what Lance could give you in your future together; unconditional love, little kisses on your cheeks when you feel sad, hugs for when you're feeling stressed, cuddles for when you feel lonely, and even a family."

"She's right buddy," Vivian smiled gently at her hero and gave him a little half hug, "He might be the one for you, but if you give up now then you're giving Nyma the happiness that belonged to you."

Keith sniffled and looked at the two girls with red eyes, "Really? You guys actually believe that?" He felt so happy at that moment knowing that the blonde girls may actually be right about something in his life full of confusion. "You think I should try to go for Lance?" He asked.

"Shit, if you don't then he's going to get his heart broken by some prissy little bimbo," Vivian snorted.

"That's a bit much," Allura said quietly as she let go of Keith's hand. "But I do agree with your sister, tell Lance how you feel the next time you see him."

"Thanks guys and I know this is off topic but where's Shiro, Allura?" Keith asked as he tried to leave the Lance topic behind them.

Allura sighed as she played with the ends of her skirt, "He's playing some game with Katie called Space Rangers 4: Revenge of the Fifth. It's as stupid as it sounds, trust me, I looked it up."

Keith rolled his eyes and stood up in order to grab the bloody tissue off the floor. "Boys are stupid and overly complicated," He whined before he took a deep breath and walked into his bathroom to drop the tissue into his trashcan. A part of him wanted to fish it out and throw it in the kitchen's trashcan, but he wanted to fix his stupid problems one at a time. This was easier even if it would nag him for the rest of his life.

"Agreed!" The two girls said as they got off the bed.

"Anyone want to smoke some weed?" Keith asked as he went over to a loose tile in his bathroom and pulled it off the wall to reveal a small baggie of some illegal green substances and little rolled up blunts. "Except you Viv, you're not allowed until you're at least twenty six."

"Whatever," Vivian rolled her eyes and began to leave the room, "I got to go do homework anyways."

"I don't think that weed is a very good way to cope with your problems so I will politely decline," Allura stated firmly as she adjusted the tie on her school uniform. God she could be stuck up sometimes.

Keith rolled his eyes and fished out a blunt before putting everything back. "I'll treat myself then, no need to let some lightweight drag me down," he grumbled as he lit it with the lighter on his nightstand he played with sometimes.

He sat down next to Allura and began to smoke next to the very displeased senior next to him as she tried to scoot away without it being noticeable. "That's a really gross habit, I don't think Lance would like it if he found out," Allura pointed out as she swatted smoke away from her face.

Keith shrugged as he went to go take another hit, "We're not even dating so I don't give a shit, anyways," he placed it on his lips and closed his eyes, "it helps me forget about the-"

It came in an instant and all at once; the pain. It was the worst thing he had ever felt in his entire life as he dropped the blunt onto the floor causing Allura to pick it up and throw it into a glass of water nearby while Keith clutched the right side of his torso and let out a wail that sounded almost like a dying animal. It was that same feeling from that stupid fight at Victoria's Secret, the one that crippled him to the ground, but this time it was like the pain came back and this time it was on steroids.

It was like he had been shot in his liver as he fell onto the floor and began to cry. Allura was in a panicked as she rushed out of the room to get help, her eyes wider than anything. "Fuck!" Keith managed to shout out as he rolled over onto his knees and began to pant heavily. There was no way in hell he was going to recover from this episode like how he did two weeks ago.

Within those few moments of him coughing up little drops of blood into his free hand and the feeling of his father trying to lift him up without success, until Allura and Jensen came to the rescue all he could think about was the smiling face of Lance. It was cheesy, but it was true. Even through this stupid pain that reduced him to a sweaty, crying mess, he wanted to see that bright smile once more. He liked that smile so much, it was his kryptonite.

He didn't want to lose everything again, especially not someone he had just began to fall head of heels for.

I'm too tired to even reply to comments until probably 5PM when they're giving me a lecture on the positive attitude shit they tell all new students and freshmen (I am a senior who will be surrounded by freshmen, pray for me even though I'll look like a freshman because I'm 5'0.25" tall and pretty lame) so I'll be on my phone during that.

good day/night :)

- *doctor who theme*