Drinks

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"Hello, Will."

Hearing his name, Will turned around, tightening his grip on his coat, and sent a weak smile at his friend while his eyes stayed on the floor.

"Come on in." She said, holding the door wider for him to enter.

Swallowing down his nervousness, he stepped inside and awkwardly standing in the middle of her room as she closed the door and moved around him. It had been a while since Will spoke to Natasha, he didn't quite trust himself around anyone, not since he pointed a gun at the people he cared about. Occasionally, Will would remember the feeling of holding a gun in his hands and would have to a cold shower to shake the bitter feeling off; even after that, it was still there, in the shake of his fingers.

He watched as she walked towards her fridge next to her table, which was covered in open files. She stood in front of the open door of the fridge, the cold air tickling her bare legs, her hip jutted out with her hand resting on it. Will was surprised to hear a hum of a song he recognised but didn't know the name of come from her lips as she wondered what to take from the fridge. A small smile appeared on his lips, he enjoyed how care-free she was in that moment; with her long baggy T-Shirt almost covering her shorts, with her red hair resting on her shoulder, slightly wet showing she had a shower recently, and with her make-up free skin, showing her natural colour. Right now, she had never looked more beautiful to Will.

When Natasha bent down to retrieve something from the fridge, Will couldn't help but look down as her shirt lifted causing him to blush, coughing slightly and moving his gaze.

Hearing his awkward cough, she turned her head to him and held out her hand which held a cold bear, "Want one?" She smiled.

Will shrugged before he said quietly, "Have you got anything stronger?"

She nodded, placing the bear on her table before reaching over to the half empty bottle of whiskey on the counter, turning back to Will, "This good?" She asked gesturing to the bottle.

"Yes, please. Thank you."

Natasha chuckled at his not-so-hidden eagerness, he must really need it. She poured a generous amount of alcohol in a glass, handing it over to the doctor, watching him swallow most of it in the first gulp.

Opening her beer, she took a small sip before looking at Will. He was sitting down on her couch, gently rubbing his thumb up and down his glass.

Walking over, she sits down next to him, "How are you feeling?"

Will looks over at her before shrugging and pulling a face.

"I don't know." He said quietly, looking back down at his drink before taking another gulp.

Leaning back, Natasha took a sip of her beer before smiling at him, "You know, other than fighting and killing, I'm quite good at listening."

He let out a small laugh and continued to look down at the glass. Will takes a breath, trying to get enough courage to tell her. After a few seconds, he says, "I just...I feel like...I feel unstable."

Frowning, the red-head reached over and place her hand on his arm, "Why do you feel like this, Will? I thought you were getting better."

"I thought I would get better. It's hard to shake off something that's already under your skin." He said, before finishing the rest of his drink then pouring more whisky into the glass and taking another large gulp.

Natasha looks over Will and notices the dark skin under his eyes, the way his eyes dart around the room but never looking at her. She places her hand on his jutting knee to stop it from moving. Will freezes and glances at the hand before looking at her, but the first time in a while, he didn't look her in the eyes.

Will let out a shuddering breath, "I'm not even sure if I'm awake now. Whenever I wake, or fall asleep, I just don't know what is real. When I dream, I see his face. When I'm awake, I see his face." He shuddered, his voice breaking, remembering the blood, "I... Is this real, Natasha?" He asked, his eyes shining with tears as he looked at her. "Please, Natasha. I-I need your help."

She frowned, moving her body towards him, holding his rough cheeks in her hands. His eyes darting around the room as his breathing picked up, "Will, look at me."

It took a few seconds before the words registered in his mind, his watery eyes locked on her green ones. When she saw she had his attention, she spoke sternly, "Will, I need you to breath, can you do that for me?" She watched as he nodded and started to breath slowly, or at least tried to. "Now I need you to repeat after me: 'I am awake, and this is real'."

Will just continued to shudder.

"Will." She said loudly, gently slapping his cheek, catching his attention again, "Repeat: 'I am awake, and this is real'."

Slowly, he listened and repeated her, "I-I am aw... I am awake, and this is real."

"Good. Again." Natasha whispered, rubbing her thumb over his cheek to calm him.

"I am awake, and this is real." Once the words sunk into him, Will seemed to relax and ease the tension out of his shoulder, his breathing became steady as he repeated the motto once more, "I am awake, and this is real."

Natasha stayed next to him as he calmed down, she removed her hands from his face and gently rubbed them up and down his arms.

Will's head started to become heavy as he relaxed. Leaning to the side, he placed his head on the assassin's shoulder, letting out deep breaths. Natasha tensed as he did this but then grew to like it and leaned into him as well.

"Thank you, Natasha." He breathed against her shoulder.

Awkwardly, she patted her hands on his hair. She was quite new to this, the red-head didn't let many people get this close to her, "It's alright, Will. I used to have the same problem years ago, but Clint helped me."

Natasha seemed to not have realised that she freely told him about her past until he lifted his head to look at her and asked, "What do you mean?"

She hesitated, not a lot of people know what she has been through, she was always worried someone would use the information against her; but then she looked into her friend's eyes and could see that he needed something to talk about, to distract him from his nightmares. Sighing, she tried to think of a way to tell him without saying everything.

"When I was younger, I was taken to this place called The Red Room. There they trained people like me, raised us, to kill, to become assassins. One of my tests were to shoot a man in cold blood without hesitation. Which I did. After I couldn't stop having nightmares." She looked at Will, expecting to see pity but all she saw was understanding, "When you complete all the tests, there is..." There was suddenly a lump in her throat, the paused made Will frown, swallowing past it she continued her story "They have a graduation ceremony. They sterilise you."

Will looked at her in shock, however she just shrugged it off, like it wasn't important, but Will could see that this hurts her.

"It's efficient." Natasha takes a deep breath as she smiles an empty smile at Will, "One less thing to worry about. The one thing that might matter more than a mission. Makes everything easier. Even killing."

Will watched as the assassin tried to remain strong, but he knew this was breaking her inside. He would never have thought that something like this would have affect her so much, he guessed that he didn't know her as he thought he did. Will can't express the feeling of knowing that Natasha trusts him enough to tell him this.

"Still think you're the only monster?"

Will remembered when the two of them were in the shooting range, Natasha comforting him when he thought he was a monster; when she called herself the monster.

"I... I can see that you're upset but...I don't know what to do." Will quietly said, awkwardly turning his body to her.

However, his awkwardness brought a smile to her face as she let out a small laugh, "It's okay, Will."

"If it helps, to me you will still be a beautiful bad-ass." Will whispered, shyly ducking his head away from her, rubbing the back of his neck.

The smile on the assassin's face grew, "That's sweet, Will. Cheesy, but sweet."

Looking up at her through his eyelashes, he beamed at her, glad to see her smile probably. Although, what he said was incredible corny, he wasn't lying. He thought she was the most beautiful women he was ever seen in his life. He remembered when she had kissed him during the battle in New York, Will had never felt so alive before. He almost felt honoured that she shared that moment with him.

As she looked down at her beer bottle, gently picking at the label, Will watched her with a heart-filled smile. Giving himself a small prep-talk, he gained enough confidence to lean towards her.

Natasha saw him move at the corner of her eye, turning her head it took her a moment to realise that Will had leaned in and lightly pressed his lips against her soft ones.

The chaste kiss only lasted for a few seconds before Will pulled away a few inches. The beating of his heart was so loud in his chest, he was almost surprised that she couldn't hear it. He went to say something, anything, but was cut off by Natasha placing her hand in his hair and pulling him back to her.

This kiss, this was his favourite. He could feel the passion of her lips moving against his, he felt it throughout his whole body. Natasha put her other hand on his shoulder and pushed him down on the couch they were sitting on. They broke apart for a few seconds, so they could get comfortable. Will was almost in awe as he looked up at the woman hovering over him, her hair falling against her cheek and her green eyes shining. Reaching up, Will used the back of his hand to push her fiery red hair behind her ear. She smiled at him as she leaned back down, pressing their lips together again.

They need this. They both need it. To be able to feel comfortable, to be able to forget about all the bad in the world. To just focus on each other.