━━━━━━━━━┈♕┈━━━━━━━━━

❝Because the dawn before
the sunrise is the darkest. ❞

•••

CHAPTER THIRTY SEVEN

“SO WHAT'S OUR DEAL?” Mr Lee, grunted sharply in a haughty manner, as I lower the soda can before taking out a large bite out of my burger. His eyes flicker brightly as a weak smile perks up at the corner of his lips when he notices my scowl. All I wanted, was to peacefully have my lunch, without any interruption by the man sitting across me. I don't even know why I even agreed to have lunch with him, it was probably because after everything that's happening lately and plus Hara's sudden departure from my life, was making me make bad decisions, all day I felt like I was walking on eggshells, never knowing when I'll snap.

      “Come on, I know you don't hate me, Ms Ivy. Why don't we skip this icy staring contest, and chat a little,” Lee Taeyong suggested animatedly, causing the soda can in my hand to almost slip, as I look upwards to find him still looking at me. His gaze persistent, and hopeful.

God, he was so annoying. And I am an idiot, to accompany him to this cheap place, that sells even more greasier burger than I had the other night. The reminder of that night, where everything was going so smoothly between Jungkook, and I, where we both made a promise to ourselves.

All that seems like century ago.

     “Stop thinking about it,”My eyes widen upon hearing his words, as I swallowed the sweet, orange flavoured soda, and blink when I look upwards at him, to find that he wasn't looking at me this time, but still his focus was upon me.

“What makes you say that?”

        I did not mean to make my voice sound so bitter, it just happened. It is just whenever I am talking to Mr Lee, my emotions, my aggravating frustration are always highlighted upon him. And he knows that, he can get under my skin. But for some mere, unknown reason he does not even bait an eye, or feel hurt.

“Surely, what ever you might be thinking about is making you look this restless, unattended—”

  Mouth agape, I gulped fiercely staring at him, as I stuff my mouth with more fries when his words register in my head, blood rushes to my cheeks, and my breath shudders. I swallowed soundly, before glancing back at him, he was smiling now fully, an all too knowing look plastered flat against his face.

I can not even deny it. Because he knows he's right, he just witnessed my little fail attempt of avoiding this, the truth.

I don't know what to say. I'm numb and definitely, emotionally unstable right now.

     “It's just yesterday was a rough day, and I mean—not just that yesterday, things are toughs its been more than just yesterday, where—I don't feel peaceful.”

As I finish speaking I wait for him to say something, like anything but he does the unthinkable, after a simple nod, he retires back to his food, leaving me to stare at him with an open mouth, and a cruel stare.

  Now I feel stupid for sharing anything with him. What was I even thinking, its not like he can understand me. When even Jungkook can not sometimes.

“Are you serious right now?” His hysterical question, and blunt attitude surprises me further, as his sharp gaze access my face, before settling upon my eyes.

“Excuse me—”

He didn't let me finish as he very abruptly interrupts, “You can not be ruining your today for yesterday. What happened yesterday it is already in the past, what matters now are your actions today.”

His words immobilise me. They left me speechless, and quivering as I look away ashamed and, guilty. The look in his eyes, the weight of his words left me in a puzzle, as I continued to silently stare at my plate. Still, even when he angrily pushes away his half eaten food, and groans, his stare exhausting, burying his face against his palms.

“I didn't mean to scold you.”

He tries to explain in a soft, and humble tone but I refuse to look nervously fidgeting with my fingers and coat.

“What I said to you just now, doesn't just apply to you. It applies to me as well, I always resented my father, disliked his attitude towards my siblings and I. He was especially rude and cold to me, I thought for a long time that he hated me, fifteen when he kicked me out of the house, telling me to learn how to earn for myself, and learn to be grateful, I knew then that he really hated me, and wanted me gone. I started to pull these plans in my head, how to be successful, how to prove to him. Until a year ago he passed away and, I told myself not to visit him when he was sick dying, I just couldn't think of it, then he left. I came back home, to find his room full of my pictures, cut outs from newspapers, magazines, my achievements, everything. He was proud of me. He never hated me, he just taught me what life was.”

There was silence after his long speech, the kind of silence that was the loudest, all I could hear was my beating heart,  and reminisce of guilt in his rueful tone. Letting out a long breath, I look up into his eyes, placing my hands on my lap, I whisper undoubtedly in woeful manner, “You never got to say goodbye.”

He shrugs, spreading his legs under the table, causing it to shake a little, as his eyes sink into mine. Reading every thought every emotion.

“That's the life we live, guilt and regrets are strong enough to drown even the toughest of men, and you and, I we are just simple individuals. Don't make things hard on yourself, and him, Ms Ivy.”

“Mr Lee——Taeyong you have no——”

Cutting me off with sudden sigh he, leans forwards over the table, to make sure I was listening, “I have no business? That's what you me want to say? Alright, I don't but I think of you as someone whom I would want to see happy in life. You have so much goodness in you, for God's sake try to live a day for yourself.”

“I've done a terrible thing,” I murmured, briskly running a hand through my hair.

“Haven't we all at some point in our lives?” His reply was quick and direct, it left no room for arguments.

“How?” My voice was now far too weak, it sounded painful.

“The process is simple, let yourself be consumed by all your regrets, all your fears, let it nourish you into the person you'd want to be tomorrow, live today, forget yesterday, better than having to suffer everyday.”

TO BE CONTINUED

Author's Note

HI! I hope you like this chapter. And are satisfied with the pace of the story.

Do you think Mr Lee is right?

Thanks for reading <3

Love,
Shafaq - Shapel ♥