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❝My shadow grows taller, along with my fears.❞

•••

CHAPTER NINETEEN

“What are you doing?” I asked, pushing back my hair as he turned letting out a starling breath, he discards his jacket as, setting the paper bag on the ground. It was nine in the morning, and considering our late night talking and drinks, we went to bed almost in the morning. It wasn't my intention, but I expected to find him next to me this morning, running his fingers through my hair just as, he did the night before; and always.

“I bought breakfast—I thought that you might be hungry,” Jungkook replies, his eyes accessing my face with a deadpan stare as I huffed, rolling over to the other side of the bed.

            “You brought breakfast for me?” I stammered, after a few minutes my voice sounded perplexed, my lips twitched upwards into a lopsided smile, as I stretch my arms out letting the covers falling off to the bed carelessly, as his eyes widened and his pupils dilated, with proclivity a rough groan escapes out of his lips, and  he staggers back; a few steps. His sight fixed my figure, and that is when I noticed I fell asleep wearing a rob, that has completely discarded hanging loosely on one of my shoulder, leaving my chest almost bare and naked in his sight.

Benumbed, I reach for it letting my eyes stare anywhere but into his dark and mysterious orbs that, have my heart racing in my chest soundly. Jungkook chuckles darkly as I stand up after fixing my rob, I saunter towards him as he sets the transparent boxes on the table, and the plastic spoons.

“I am really hungry,” I murmured sitting down at the table across him, as he hands over my coffee mug. Taking a deep breath, I  pulled the plastic lid as does he; except a little gently and, more patiently. Not waiting another minute I take a large bite out my subway sandwich as he chews furrowing his brows, while his eyes stare back at me mirthless and confused.

“Don't eat that,” Jungkook commanded in a throbbing whisper.

“Why?—— it tastes alright.”

With a deep arid breath he pushes his sandwich away, as I sighed while taking another bite out of my sandwich at which he cringes and mumbles,“It tastes just bland nothing special.”

As his words reached my ears, I couldn't help but chuckle—that was so like Jungkook—his morning mood swings.

Time. Time is and, has and, will always be our enemy. Sitting in this cheap motel room, eating a sandwich that probably costs us more than the room we booked, seems just as something we would do. The two of us together. Together——that is a heavy word; time and togetherness  are two components that make a relationship last longer. Time is chance, not the first nor, the second it is a chance that, you will always have with you, but togetherness is a commitment. And so, it occurs to me when chances are missed,  eventually commitments are flawed.  There were too many chances were we could've fixed our mistakes, rewritten our memories corrected our actions, but we did not. We always did what we thought was right, perhaps our version of right wasn't always right.

There is a wedge between us, it's there and it's makes us relive through of all the hurt, distrust.

      “Ivy?” I didn't notice for how long, I was spaced out not until his voice pulled me out of my thoughts, reminding me of the present scenario, I sighed finishing up the last of bite of my sandwich as he tensely sits up in alert upon hearing the ringing of my phone.

Chewing the inside of my cheek, I clear my throat averting his arresting eyes that followed my every move as I made my way towards my phone, blinking unsure I pull out my cell phone, staring blankly at the screen for a few minutes till it starts to lights up again. My heart races as, I turn around accepting the call to find him still staring at me. A strange exhilarating chill travels up my spine, as our eyes lock together, seconds pass yet there was no averting.

           “Ivy?” Hara’s high pitched from the other end of of the phone makes me flinch as I gulp nervously,“Where in the world are you? Do you know home many text messages I left you last night? How many calls?”

“Last night? I don't know,”I murmur, my voice barely above a whisper as she sighs. Nervously, I lowered my gaze and waited for continue speaking knowing perfectly he was listening to our conversation.

          “We have a meeting today with Mr Lee, Ivy and last night we were supposed to arrange the materials for the presentation, on joint conference call. But since you bailed on me I was forced to ask for help from your secretary and she was practically useless,  I told her that she had done enough and did the rest of my work on my own. Not only that, wait let me say further,” the was a pause as  I hear the sound of her heels clicking then a door opening, before once again her voice greets me,  sharply causing the hair at the back of my neck to rise,“If you do remember I have a two year old, and I could not do anything yesterday, he was crying and refusing to eat, Hui was dead tired himself but he still stayed up all night taking care of him.”

I blinked moving away the phone from my ear, for a brief moment before taking a deep breath I spoke,“Hara, I am so sorry. I know it was wrong to act so unprofessional, I understand that without you, I can never run this orphanage, about today's meeting why don't you ask my secretary to reschedule it two hours later and you probably should take the rest of the day off.”

“Don’t worry about rescheduling I did that already. And take the day off? Are you crazy it's been my dream to work with Mr Lee and this project is special to me as much as it is for you. I am warning you, arrive at the office in an hour or else I'll kill you—”

A bitter laugh escapes my lips as she hangs up the phone, with that my eyes snap back into reality as I push back my hair and start searching for my stuff around the room only to find them neatly placed together on the couch behind me, my heart skips a beat as I catch him still looking at me.

“I have a meeting with Mr Lee—” I begin to speak as I pull up all my stuff together and saunter towards the bathroom as he frowns lowering his brows, before realization sinks in and he considers my words,“I believe you were suppose to have a meeting with him tomorrow. Today it's just Mr Lee and I?”

“It’s fine you can cancel the meeting to another day. Perhaps, I should make a call and reschedule,” He suggests, figuratively in a somber tone as my eyes widened and a gasp escapes my lips.

               “No. You're not going to change anything. You're not going to interrupt with my work, Jungkook,” I stated before stepping into the shower, as I hear him groan frustratedly before there's pin drop silence until he unhooks the locks, making sure to bang the door on his way out.

Well, there goes another wonderful morning.

Moving away the curtain of my hair away from my face, I rub my hands recklessly around my face, my neck as my silent sobs fill the bathroom. My eyes swell, my body aches yet still I stood there under the cold spray of water until for how long I did not know.

•••

I could not believe he left me. He left me at the motel to fend for myself. I didn't even know what he was mad about? Is he mad about the fact that we had to leave? Or that I refuse to let him mingle in my business? Who does he think he is? God I resent myself for falling into his game of manipulation. What happened last night at the wedding, he would refuse to talk about, what ever happened years ago I would be a fool to believe that he can ever change, he might still blame me.

     Last night was a perfect example of my recklessness, I should've never fallen into his charms. He is the same man who held me in his arms last night and whispered softly into my ears about his dreams, his ambitions, I fail to believe that he is also the man who left me in a far away motel,  a man who's scared of bringing up the past. Who hates to be reminded of his mistakes.

Whatever this is between us, it's make us loose our minds. Nothing seems to make sense.

TO BE CONTINUED

Author's Note

Long time no update? I should be making up for my lack of commitment, sorry for taking so long, I've things going on in my life right now, my mother's really not doing  well these days, and a lot changed within few months, I lost my cat and so many of my relatives passed away as well in 2020, through this all I had my exams.  It's wasn't the best of times for me.

Everything aside, I hope y'all are liking my story?

Ivy and Jungkook are toxic, their relationship is delicate, who do you think should surrender first and take a step forward?

Stay precious, as you are to me and remember to smile. 💜

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Thanks for reading<3

Love,
shafaq-Shapel♥