━━━━━━━┈♕┈━━━━━━━

❝ So, I'm sorry
But caring about you is
getting so exhausting.❞

•••

CHAPTER TEN

    “I didn't sleep with her,” He mumured grufly, my eyes widened as I fell back against the couch, clutching my dress as I stared down at his weary face, his mundane eyes.

                    “I could not do that to you, I was exhausted. Work was making me feel suffocated, I needed an excuse, something,” He started to explain, as I felt tears gathering at the corner of my eyes, unable to hold them back; I pulled my hand out of his hold and turned to face the other side.

“When, Taehyung suggested that I should see other women, I was overwhelmed, I felt lost and then he set me up on a lunch date, that day I asked you to come with me because I didn't even  want to go there. But you refused, and  I was angry so I decided that I should for once do something, something terrible, something that I knew would hurt you.”

I could feel him staring, at the back of my head, as I felt my body stiffening when he leaned his head against my back his hand draped around my knee, while the other tightly held me close.

                     “Aren’t you going to say anything?” he asked, his voice sounding hoarse, broken as I wiped my face with back of my hand and chuckled bitterly.

“What should I say? Everything is my fault isn't it? If, I didn't refuse you, that day—” my words hang in the air, letting that awkward silence to lapse around us as he pulled away from me,  his hand letting go of my waist as he stood up, and walked once again to kneel in front of me. Pulling my hands into his, hard ones.

“Ivy——” he trailed off but I didn't let him continue as I pulled my hand from his hold, harsher than intended to.

              “I am sorry, that I can never be good to you. I am sorry that I've made you feel this way, I am sorry that I believed that I could happiness with you. I am sorry that I pretend to that think our life is so perfect, I am sorry that I actually believed when you told this was our home and in it would only be happy memories,” I spoke breathlessly, feeling the air being sucked out of my lungs as I stood up, letting him fall back against the floor, as I walked out.

“Where are you going?” he snapped, and  I refuse to halt my steps.

                           “Away from you,” I yelled back, marching towards the stairs but he beat me to it as his hands  reached down to my waist and pinned me against the wall, his eyes darkened, drinking upon the look on my face, as I swallowed moving face my face away he when leaned closer, his warm breath falling against my nape. As I shivered when I felt his lips touching my neck.

                           “You smell nice,” he murmured against my skin, as I exhaled tiredly, blinking unsurely as my hand pushed flat against, his hard chest.

“What we have is just this physical attraction, Jungkook. This is no longer a chemical, attraction,” I murmured realistically, seeing the man inhale sharply hearing my words as his shoulders tensed as I pushed him back and moved away from him.

                          “What are you implying?” he asked, furiously his eyes glowing like burning ambers slaughtering my composure. My hand pushed my hair back, my fingers pressing against my scalp as I groaned, frustratingly.

“How, long will it take for you to understand. What we had is gone, in this relationship, there's nothing left for you and me,” I spoke, and I dared to glance back at him. His face was as it always was, stoic. Emotionless.

“I know,” he confessed,“But, there's nothing we can do about it.”

“There is. There's a way divorce, it's the easy way out. You don't have to suffer any longer–—” I tried to explain but he cut me short, as I watch him strode towards me, his hand reaching for my face, as he fiercely gripped my chin.

                       “Again with that, why are you so persistent about getting a divorce?” I stagger back. My gaze drifts and takes in his sturdy, mascular body, before I wet my lips and glance upwards.

                        “Divorce. I need a divorce.” I spoke in between gritted teeth, as the man before me laughed hysterically, pressing a hand to his stomach, he stares back at, back was that cocky smile.

              “That sucks. Because you're not getting it, Ivy,” he spoke against my face, as I glared while trying to calm the further ragging anger within me.

It was getting out of hand. At this point, I've come to realize I am tired of fighting. I wanted this all to get over. I want to find myself because I was selfish, and this time I wanted him to truly see me, for myself.

                A faint, weak sob escaped my lips as I felt my feet giving up. Closing my eyes tightly, the world around me stilled, stopping for the briefest second. There was a hollow in my chest, I felt it getting deeper and deeper until it was, as though the pain was not there anymore. I was broken. I was defeated. He broke me.

                 “Ivy?” Jungkook's voice, reached my ears, as I blinked allowing the reality to dawn upon me. Hypnotized, I found my eyes trailing towards the man beside me. His eyes closed tightly, and his face at the crook of my neck. His held me in his arm, I was practically sitting on his lap.

            “I am fine,” I spoke, my voice sounded hoarse as I pulled back, Jungkook blinks as I reached and laid my hand against his chest, I could feel my breathing hitch, seeing his dark eyes glare at me with anger evident in them, but there was something else in them there was guilt.

                     “What have we done to each other?” He asked, in his smooth deep voice.

“Jungkook, I ———can’t,” My hands fell loosely on my lap, as I struggled to find words, a faint smile reaches his lips as I turned my head gingerly to the side, to directly look at him.

                “I may never make you happy, I will continue to be a bad husband. I tend to make the same mistakes again, I get it. I do now understand, Ivy,” I spoke, raising his voice. An unwavering feeling dawned upon me.

          “No you don't understand,” I spoke, my eyes blurry with tears, as I felt my heart hammering in my chest.

                     “Then, explain it to me,” his words were barely a whisper.

“I can't,” shaking my head, I smiled ghostly before letting go of his hand, as I try stand back up. But, I flinched when he pulled me down, preventing me to sit up.

                “What are you doing? Let go of me,” I spoke, feeling fanatic as my eyes glared back fiercely, twisting my wrist I struggled as his grip only tightening further, whilst he leaned in close.

“You’re not going anywhere. We're going to have a talk.”

He murmured, except it was more of a drawl. His eyes flared brighter, as I felt his body trembling with the intensity of his emotions. I knew, he was in pain, just as much as I was. But our pride, didn't allow us to admit.

He didn't have in him to let go, and I didn't want to surrender.

“I will sleep in the guest room. We, will continue this talk tomorrow,” He spoke, fiendishly, as his fingers traced my lips. His dark eyes, searching deeper into my soul; and I felt the spark of connection that I'd only felt with him.

I wanted our happily after too. But, at that moment it appeared like I had nothing. People, think marriage is the end of every story, but I think it's just a beginning because; you never really know someone, until you start living with them.

The thing you most love about someone, could become the thing you hate most about them. It's only a matter of time, before tragedy happens and you realize that you were doomed from the start.

TO BE CONTINUED

Author's Note;

I asked which book should I update, and some of you chose Beautiful Crime. So, here I'm with an update, I hope you enjoyed reading this chapter. I had fun writing this chapter down, while listening to the song above, I think it perfectly describes their relationship. In better words than I could've. 

If you could get fix one thing in their relationship what should it be?

Ivy or Jungkook?

Stay safe, stay at home.
And be nice to the people around you especially during these tough times.💜

Don't forget to vote,
comment and share : )

Thanks for reading<3

Love,
shafaq-Shapel ♥