Title: Once Upon A Time
Author: ichinazam
Genre: Fantasy
What is 'Once Upon A Time'
           - It's a fantasy story featuring mystical creatures such as vampires, witches, fairies and werewolves.

Rating -
       This was difficult. The plot leaves your story at a 7.5/10 but the grammar and constant disruption of word flow should pull it down to a 3 or 4/10. Overall, I'd say that puts it at around a 5/10 but unjustly because it should be higher.

EBI -
   - Word flow is a huuuuuge improvement to be made - punctuation is absolutely key, or good editing
   - Watch out on capitalisation with names such as places or people, even pets
   - Be careful not to expose too much at once or make something really complex really simple, you don't want to give away too much to your readers too quickly
   - The introduction could be dressed up a bit more - the simplicity, although refreshing and direct, can sometimes feel too simple
   - Tense - don't switch between past and present! Pick one (maybe better to pick whichever one you find you use the most) and stick with it, otherwise this can seriously confuse readers and again disrupt sentence flow
    - More explanation is needed in some places otherwise the reader is being made to assume and jump between gaps. Explain what the character is seeing, rather than just jump straight away to their speech about it, for example.
   - Allow your story to be progressive, don't feel like everything has to happen at once
   - Stick with it! Your story has gigantic potential. A good editing/editor will polish it up sooo nicely.
   - You did request Commenting Corrections, but there are too many. Much of them are typos or left out punctuation, and the only way to limit those is to edit yourself before publishing or bring in an editor.

Review -
   'Once Upon A Time' has a fantastic plot with good characters that are bound to slowly progress into beautiful imaginations. The writing flow needs much work, however, if you're someone who loves a story that's bound to bring new information in all the time and constantly take turns and twists down exciting alleys - this story will hit the spot. Adventures and excitement are evident straight away, with a promising future in mind.

Blurb -

'"Like Ice and Fire we should have never met; but here we are so I will take the bet ", I said.

" You don't have to rhyme. I am going too", he replied.

The world has changed entirely. Most countries have a strict monarchy system which is ruled by vampires (they have proven to be the strongest). Serin is no different from most countries. It is ruled by vampires as high class citizens and everyone else below. Humans are almost extinct.

But there is a little change in the ecosystem. Strange forms of supernatural seem to appear out of nowhere. Due to this change, Chaos is brought upon the people of Serin. In order to restore balance. A group of teenagers are forced to find the author of the confusion and stop her; because every time she says 'Once Upon A Time' a new creature is born.

Thalie: A teenage witch who is a descendant of the Amazon warriors. She and her friends are forced with this task.'

Once Upon A Time can now be found in the reviewed books library or on ichinazam's profile!

Happy reading!