CHAPTER 20

 This chapter is dedicated to Digila-san, my commenter from AO3 ! Happy birthday, Digila-san! :D I uploaded this chapter without knowing her birthday but I am so happy because I had great timing in posting this chapter on her birthday.  

"Why can't you even do it right!?"

"What about you then!? Can't you stop being nit-picking about everything!?"

Ah, they're fighting again, Masato thought wearily. As usual, he ended up standing between the fighting duo, trying his best not to side anyone while soothing their anger. It was not even half an hour passed but the whole training room felt like it seethed with tense. A lot of years elapsed and they all had other commitments like family and solo projects so it was hard to gather all seven of them (especially for them to meet Tokiya) unless it was for their comeback practice.

And yet, the moment was always ruined by a fracas between Tokiya and Syo.

"Hey, guys. Stop that," Masato lost count on how many times did he say 'stop that' or 'please stop fighting' to Tokiya and Syo. They were at each other's throats again, starting from how Tokiya kept nagging about each of their tiny mistake in dancing or singing. "We rarely can gather everyone like this so should we settle this matter nicely instead?"

This matter existed dues to Tokiya's obsession with defeating HEAVENS for everything.

When this unpleasantly clichéd moment took place, Natsuki and Otoya tended to take it positively but anyone could tell that they were hurt by Tokiya's harsh words. Cecil always bottled up because he respected Tokiya as a very experienced teammate while Syo just simply talked back, given how bad his temper was. Masato and Ren would get stuck in the middle since they both almost never got scolded but it still did not make them felt any better.

"How am I supposed to stop when this guy kept repeating the same mistake? He should stop playing soccer in the evening if he performs this bad!" Tokiya reasoned out, making Masato flinched at his loud tone.

"But you can tell him nicely, you know," Otoya supplied as frustration spread over his face. "Syo works hard every day and he only spends less than two hours to play in the evening. That's the only way for him to release his stress."

"If he never improves, he doesn't even deserve a rest. He should be grateful that nobody scolds him for sleeping yet," Tokiya retorted, looking daggers at Otoya. At this point, Cecil naturally approached the redhead to defend him while Natsuki was behind Syo.

"Then, do you expect me to work 24 hours like you!? You might want to live like a robot but I don't!" Syo remarked as he pushed Natsuki's hand from holding his shoulder.

"Then you can quit being an idol. This industry doesn't need someone incompetent like you," Tokiya said. As usual, the poker face and flat voice did not match the brutality in his words.

Everybody gasped at the ruthless comment except for Syo. His usually loud mouth felt numb to shout back as his mind still haltingly processed Tokiya's words.

What... what did this bastard just say?

Seeing Syo's reaction, Cecil could not endure it anymore. It was true that he and Syo did not always treat each other well but the guy was still his close friend.

"Tokiya, I've had enough of you," Cecil stepped forward, looking daggers at the blue head. "All this time I've looked up to you and I wanted to work hard like you. But now, I really can't stand your attitude. When you're with us, you always ruined the moment. Can you appreciate your friends more instead of whining about everything? You're the one who has to loosen up, Tokiya!"

"Then, is it okay if HEAVENS ends up defeating us?"

"To be honest, it's not like we don't care at all. Of course, it will be nice if we can top the album chart instead of HEAVENS," Ren interrupted, much to others' shock. They knew when the usually nonchalant scion voiced out his opinion, he meant business. He totally wanted that particular situation to stop. "But your obsession and perfectionism suffocated us. Not to mention you sounded so stuck-up every time you stated your opinion. It's true that you're the most popular among us but it doesn't give you any right to simply call people incompetent without witnessing how hard they worked in order to meet your standard. You and your obsession with beating HEAVENS... stop pushing that idea into us, Tokiya. You might work for money and fame but don't assume that the rest of us are the same."

"Guys, I think that's enough..." Masato wanted to stop but much to his surprise, Otoya quickly cut in with a determined face. Not to mention...

His sight.... Why did everything seem like they were spinning? His constitution got worse each day and he did not want this happen when he still had his friend's crisis on his plate.

"We want to be an idol because we want to sing for our fans and at the same time, enjoying what we love to do the most. The one who has to change here is you, Tokiya," Otoya stated. He felt that he did not know this glamorous but sharp-tongued Tokiya. Instead, he missed his real ex-roommate a lot.

"I wish instead of fighting because of our small mistakes, we'll cherish our times together. It's always hard to meet you but you're always angry about everything. To be honest, it hurt sometimes, Tokiya," Natsuki also could not help but confessed his dissatisfaction.

When Masato's eyesight returned, Tokiya's expression pulled him the most.

It was as calm as usual but for some reason, he could see that the handsome face was sprinkled with pain.

Did he feel upset about what they said?

Masato was close but if truth be told, no words could describe what Tokiya felt right now. All of them except for Masato ganged up on him and while he did admit that his obsession was sickening, it still...

Stung deeply through his heart. Especially when all of them literally shared the same opinion.

He worked for fame and money. He ruined their practice together by expressing his honest opinion. His attitude was suffocating.

That was what they thought of him. He could see it but they could not see that all of their opinions about him were wrong.

But here he was, standing while instantly losing his moxie to defend himself. He could not even say to them that he loved his job because he loved working with them. As he could not stand to be judged severely by his friends' cold eyes, he grabbed his bag and small towel angrily.

"Okay, then. Sorry for always being a wet blanket and thank you for telling me," he said before quickly leaving their circle.

"Hey, Tokiya," Masato tried to reach the guy's shoulder but was completely ignored. Instead, the blue head disappeared faster from the room.

It was saddening for Masato when Tokiya did not even glance back at them. When his eyes met his other friends, they were staring at him.

"Masato," the only redhead in the group initiated, "I don't know which side are you..."

"Why should I take a side? I don't want to," Masato said, feeling slightly offended. He could care less when all of them looked surprised. Obviously, they expected him to agree with him. "It feels like you're asking me to choose between my mother or my father."

"You can say that because he rarely scolds you, Masato," Syo remarked, immediately send Masato to a wave of burning anger.

"Mind your words, Syo. I did advise Tokiya to be soft with his words," the way Masato's voice sounded sterner shocked the blunt guy. "But I also think that Tokiya isn't fully wrong. It doesn't matter if we want to beat HEAVENS or not, we should always improve ourselves so that we can be a perfect performer. Plus, do you guys seriously think that being the most popular member of a band is easy? People expect a lot from him, he has a very tight schedule and I bet our president also stresses him out since he's the Heart-throb. We're not the only who has a hard time here."

While they visibly understood him, Masato knew there was still dispute among them.

"Whatever. I already lost my respect for him," Cecil decided.

"I don't want to listen to someone who only loves fame instead of truly enjoying his job," Syo supplied.

All Masato could do was closing his eyes and forcing himself to calm down. Otherwise, the violent him who he had forgotten since he got married and had pretty daughters would emerge back. He did not want to strangle nor kick anyone right now.

God, just how did it turn out like this? He thought.

Saotome smirked as he was staring into two men before him. 17 years passed and he could give himself a pat on the back for turning them into what he wished for. They were physically similar from head to toe but their different image and destiny were apparent. It was all because of his twin concept. One of them, Masato was the Saint who was the ideal husband of many women while the second guy, Tokiya was the Stripper who was adored for his body.

Now, Masato was a married man with a happy family, thanks to Saotome's plan to separate Tokiya from Haruka.

Now, Tokiya was still single and available to be fantasized by a lot of women.

"Did you summon us all the way here just to show your so-called fatherly smile? You don't have to do that, you know," Tokiya remarked, did not even bother to be polite. Masato from his side had his eyes sized up out of shock. No one in Shining Agency had enough audacity to remark sarcastically against their boss as much as he knew but on that day, he learned that Tokiya could do so.

"I am sorry but I can't help it. I am so proud to see you both grew up so much. I met you both since you were 17 and now you're 34. Too much time had passed, right, Masato?"

"Yeah," Masato said. He did not know what to do in this situation. Saotome was being chummy while Tokiya clearly was not pleased with it. To make it worse, Tokiya still did not patch up with others so Masato wondered if he and Tokiya were still in a friendly term.

"So, your point is?" Tokiya who did not smile even once was clearly irritated. "Come on, president. I know you're sensible enough not to waste my time on something oh-so-nostalgic like that, right?"

"You're as serious as ever, Tokiya," the president replied with low chuckles.

Yeah, thanks to you, animal.

"Okay, the reason why I called you both is because of this," Saotome took out a picture from his drawer, raising his hand to match their eye level.

It managed to widen Masato's eyes but failed to amaze Tokiya. Judging from how close the position between Masato and the famous actress was, he could read where this situation would lead to.

"President, I can explain this. It's not what you thought..."

"It's okay, Masato. I believe in you. There's no way you'll ever cheat on your beloved wife," Saotome said before placing the picture on the table. "If we're about to assume something clichéd, this girl was sick all of sudden and you didn't have a choice but to bring her to her waiting room. Of course, you had to touch her and that's when somebody took this picture. Am I right?"

"Yes, that's what happened," Masato responded as he lowered his head. His mind began to imagine the most frightening circumstance; the picture would be leaked which would cause Haruka and his daughters' trust in him break.

Little did he know, Tokiya was also worried about the same possibility.

"They have not been revealed in public yet. I already ordered my staffs to request all websites that have the pictures to remove them but just in case somebody leaks them, I want..."

"Okay, I will take the responsibility," Tokiya cut him short. He was tired to hear rambles when he already could guess the whole point of this sudden meeting.

"What?" Masato exclaimed.

"Since the picture was not clear enough, it can be me or Masato so if the public demands to know, you want me to admit that it's me, right?" Tokiya said, ignoring Masato's response.

The damage has been done, Masato.

"Yes, Tokiya! You're so smart!"

Thanks to you, animal.

"Wait, president. This doesn't sound right..."

"It does, Masato. Luckily in the picture, you wore a hood so people can't see your hair color well. After all, you can consider this as a gimmick for your latest movie together. Tokiya is the evil twin who only knows how to live recklessly while you are the exemplary twin."

"But, president, I am sorry..." For the nth time, Masato was determined to throw his opinion straight to his president's face. "I don't mean to be rude but don't you think this whole twin concept is ridiculous at times? Why does every time something like this happens, Tokiya has to shoulder them all?"

"It's because you're the Saint and he's the Stripper. Do you understand?" Saotome's voice was much calmer but it still made something crept through Masato's skin. "You see, the more scandals Tokiya has, the more advantages he has but the rule doesn't apply to you. You are doomed if people learn about this picture. Just take it easy, Masato. Even Tokiya is fine with it."

Masato turned at Tokiya, only to receive a small smile from the guy.

"It's fine," Tokiya said.

No! How come you say this is fine, Tokiya!?

It was more frustrating for him when Tokiya did not look like he cared about this situation at all. It seemed he was the only one who was over dramatic.

"I hope you don't tell anyone about this even your teammates," Saotome said, a finger pointed at the scion which immediately indicated that he meant business.

While Saotome was more casual in this meeting, his mind was full of his enemy's smirking face.

That damn Otori! The president thought angrily. He just knew it from his hunch that Otori was the mastermind of Masato's scandal. He surely knew how to choose a top actress to make the situation with Masato looked more scandalous.

Unlike Tokiya's walking pace which was fairly fast and elegant, Masato's was slower due to the mixed feelings in his heart. There were so many things that he wanted to talk to Tokiya but...

Ah, I don't care! When I said I want to talk, I will talk! I am a man so there's nothing to be afraid of!

Said a man who was afraid of bugs and used to shout as loud as his wife after seeing them during their date.

"To... Tokiya!"

But, his voice was not 'manly' enough. Apparently, he was nervous to talk to his own teammate.

"Yes?" Tokiya turned right away. His expression was normal but due to so many reasons, Masato felt like he was talking to an acquaintance instead of a close friend.

That was when he realized how distant Tokiya was. Not only from him but also the others.

"I am so sorry for the trouble."

"It's okay," Tokiya said. Obviously, he had more to say since he stopped his pace, turning back to his friend. "But, this is the third time, right? I wish you can be more careful after this. Our boss has a lot of rivals and who knows what they might do to you in the future. Plus..." The two pairs of blue eyes stared at each other before Tokiya added, "You surely don't want to hurt Haruka, right?"

Because I don't.

"Of course I don't. She's everything to me," Masato said as if it was not obvious enough for Tokiya.

Me too, Masato.

"I promise I'll be careful after this."

"I am afraid you can't do it easily. You're the Saint after all," Tokiya said as he held his chin. His eyes lost focus as he was collecting thoughts about this situation. "Here's my suggestion. Next time, if you encounter the same situation, please call the girl's manager or any staff immediately. Make them bring her to somewhere instead of you."

"But... what happens if she's really sick..."

"As for me, I don't care. I have ignored these kinds of dramas for countless times and guess what? Nobody died so far."

Masato froze.

"It's up to you either you want to remain optimistic and what not but you do learn acting, Masato. Use it to decide either that particular girl is really sick or just wants to trap you," when Tokiya turned his heels in order to leave the headquarters as soon as possible, that was when Masato could gather his thoughts and words.

"Hey."

"What?" Tokiya stopped again but this time, he was too lazy to turn back.

"I know you're already informed about this but on tomorrow night, we're going to pull a party for Syo and Natsuki's birthday. Would you like to come?" Masato said, trying to sound as chummy as possible. He could not stand the awkwardness any longer despite he and Tokiya did not have any crisis on the surface.

"I am busy," Tokiya said coldly. "Plus, I don't think they want me to be there. I am only a wet blanket who causes fights among us."

"This is a birthday party, Tokiya. There's nothing to fight about," Masato remarked softly. "The others insisted me to invite you since I am the only one who can meet you frequently."

"The others as in Otoya and Natsuki, right? What's wrong with them, being the peaceniks all of sudden? I thought they said they dislike my temper," Tokiya said. "How about the 'others'? I don't think they want me to ruin the party and to be honest, I feel so awkward around you guys. I can't even feel the chemistry anymore."

"Please don't say that, Tokiya. You know they didn't mean it..."

"Just send them my regards. I don't think I can make it," Tokiya pulled away a pair of gifts from his bag before handing them to Masato. "Thank you for mentioning the party. I almost forgot about the gifts."

As Tokiya walked away from the corridor, Masato was still glued on his spot. His blue eyes were still gazing deep through the sight before him even his twin already disappeared.

So, he did prepare to celebrate their birthdays.

Tokiya slowly opened his eyes before being greeted by the sight of his dark room. He was not sure since when did he sleep at his table so all the flashbacks...

Were they his dreams or was he spaced out before falling asleep? He was not sure.

Yet, he could care less about his strained neck and back when all the memories with his friends still tugged at his heart. His body felt heavy as the fact that he could not turn back their times registered in his mind.

"It's all my faults. I caused STARISH troubles. I should withdraw from STARISH since a long time ago," he muttered. His head was still resting on the laptop's keyboard, could not care less when it caused the screen to show a lot of STARISH pictures in fast motions.

Maybe today, after work, he would meet Saotome. He wanted to end everything. He wanted to cut all his ties with STARISH. It hurt but he did not have choices.

If the others knew that he threatened Masato last night, there was no way they could forgive him. There was no way he could meet Harumi anymore. The girl should not meet someone who said that he wanted to replace her father.

"I will ask the president to officially announce my withdrawal from STARISH," he mumbled before rising from his table.

"Why do you want to withdraw?" A male voice suddenly reached from his back, causing him to gasp loudly. He turned, immediately relieved to see Himura who was standing with a confused face.

"Himura-san, good morning," Tokiya said while his hand covered his yawning mouth.

"Good morning, Tokiya. I am sorry for making you shocked but I am already here since fifteen minutes ago. For some reasons, it's hard to wake you up," Himura explained. That was when he realized how pallid Tokiya looked. His eye bags were visible.

"It's okay, Himura-san. It's me who overreacted when you always come here every morning," Tokiya remarked.

"You looked sad since yesterday, Tokiya. What happened during yesterday potluck with your friends? Do you miss them already that you opened their pictures in the laptop?" Himura said, glancing at Tokiya's laptop screen.

That was when Tokiya remembered that last night, he was being dramatic alone while looking at his pictures with his friends. He quickly slammed shut the light blue laptop in panic. Something that a neat and proper person like him would never do until now.

"No, everything is fine," Tokiya said, immediately grabbing his white towel before heading for the bathroom.

The idol shut the bathroom door but Himura was still there, staring at the laptop.

He said he wanted to withdraw from STARISH but why? Why would he want to do it when he still looked at their pictures?

Years had passed and when people said that Tokiya was aloof and reserved, Himura did not share the same opinion. He could tell that all Tokiya had in his mind other than his works was STARISH. Everything about the group was a treasure for him.

I bet his decision to withdraw is not out of his will, Himura thought.

He would not let this happen. He would tell Ren or Otoya about Tokiya's decision since he knew, they would side him.

A message that he got this early morning slowly clouded his mind. 

Himura-san, I need to talk to you. Can we meet somewhere? 

Please don't tell Tokiya about this.

It was from Ren. 

I am kind of relieved because the flashback ended in this chapter so we can proceed to what other STARISH members would do about Tokiya after this :) As usual, if you have something to say about this chapter, feel free to leave a comment ^^