As usual, thank you for the votes and comment ^^

Okayyyy! So in this chapter, it reveals the dark side of Shining Agency aka idol world in this universe. I got the inspiration after I read a few articles about the dark sides of Kpop. I don't know how it works in Japanese entertainment industry so you can say that this story is from my imagination + what I have read. I love reading and writing satirical stories anyway. Satire makes me realize how immoral the current society can be. FYI, this story does portray some mature themes but they are only there just to justify why Tokiya had those mental disorders and how Tokiya's loving nature clashed with his suffering. I won't write it in details. I will just mention it briefly. As a writer, I have principles and one of them is I don't want and never write explicit scenes such as sexual content and what not. I just can tolerate violence lol.

CHAPTER 14

I know there's something happened to them. Should I just ask Ren? Or Tokiya?

Was what Masato had in his mind. The kids were fast asleep while his wife was in her office, composing songs. So, he was alone in his room, still holding his phone tentatively.

He knew, with his sickness and memory loss, he could do nothing but at least, maybe he could talk it out with them. Maybe he could find a way to settle whatever problems they had among them. It was evident that Syo and Cecil were hostile towards Tokiya and the blue head himself also did not try hard to conceal his awkwardness around them either.

He attempted to call Ren. It was twice but he received no answers from the scion. Assuming that his childhood friend was busy, Masato scrolled down the contacts list until he found Tokiya's number.

For some reason, waiting for Tokiya to pick up the call left a strange lump in his heart. It felt like something thumped his chest, indefatigably forewarned him that their conversation would not end in a good direction.

"Hello?"

Meanwhile, Masato's call was what Tokiya did not want to encounter the most. He frowned as soon as his twin's name appeared on the screen. Already wearing a pair of dark blue pajamas, he was lying on his bed restlessly. It was a torture that he had to endure a rough schedule after his dramatic encounter with his friends but still did not get a wink of sleep. Masato's call only made his mood worse.

"What does he want now?" He mumbled before sliding the phone button to the right side. "What's it, Masato?"

"Em... Well, I..." For a second, Masato stammered when Tokiya did not even bother to say 'hello'. "Are you going to sleep already?"

"No. Why?" There was a low chuckle followed after his answer. Masato did not see which part of his question was funny so he could feel that Tokiya was being sarcastic.

"I am sorry if I ask this. I know I shouldn't bother you but Ren didn't pick up my call. I..."

"Just get to the nitty-gritty, Masato. I am tired," Tokiya said, feeling worn out to maintain his reserved and cool demeanor. He knew soon enough his friends would tell Masato about his mental condition so he might as well twist the knife in order to ditch his friends again. "If you know you're going to be sorry, why did you bother to call, then?"

"Huh?"

Is he angry about something? Why did he sound so harsh all of sudden?

"Masato, are you there?" Tokiya's annoyed voice send him recoiled.

"Huh? Yes, yes," Masato replied. His nervousness owing to Tokiya's abrasiveness led him to stutter. "About our friends..."

"What about them?" The last three words only made Tokiya sound dour since he could intuit which direction the conversation would bring him to.

Control your anger, Tokiya. It looked like he's getting afraid of you, his mind whispered.

But he asked for it. I think he deserves to know a smidgen.

His mind was always carved up when it comes to Masato. The first side wanted to be a good friend of Masato and never wanted to upset him but the other side was too callous. It wanted Masato to feel all the pain that the man had caused.

"Is there... Is there something wrong with you guys? Why Cecil and Syo seemed cold towards you?"

"No, we are fine," Tokiya said, quickly. "We get along well."

"But I didn't see it that way," Masato sighed, did not have the slightest idea that Tokiya was balling his hand into a fist as he could spot Masato's grit.

"I told you, we get along well."

"Please don't lie to me, Tokiya," Masato supplied. "I might lose my memory but you can't hide everything forever. I know there's something that I should know. I asked everyone why they seemed to avoid talking about you but no one answered me..."

"I hate you, Masato."

Tokiya's voice turned terrifyingly sotto voce. He just whispered but the words that he carried were too piercing for Masato. It took long for Masato to meet Tokiya after he lost his memory but it just took his one night to learn that his friend actually hated him.

"What?" was the only word he could mutter when his chest felt hurt from the throb of his heart.

"I said... The Stripper hates the Saint so much."

Tokiya's mind was so unruly that he unintentionally let his hidden loathing of Masato slip. It was something that had nothing to do with their current conversation.

"What are you on about, Tokiya? Where did that come from?"

Closing his eyes to Masato's question, Tokiya breathed a heavy sigh.

"Seriously, why do you have to be such a pain? You just worsened the situation and it made me hate you more. Everyone has been too considerate towards your feeling since you're sick but here you're, trying to make me spill the beans. Can't you just ignore it and continue with your life instead?"

"I am asking you because I know there's something happened among my friends! I couldn't sit here doing nothing!" Due to the desperation that had built up in him, Masato could not help but raise his voice.

"That's what you're supposed to do! Sit there and do nothing!" Much to Masato's shock, Tokiya yelled at him. His voice was more thunderous, depicting his ill temper. "I was already tortured when you're healthy so when you're sick, please spare me more trouble! I don't want it anymore!"

It was a pregnant silence as Masato rested his free hand on his chest. Not only Tokiya's voice was so terrifying, he felt like he was talking to an enemy instead of a friend.

What did he mean by 'tortured'?

While for Tokiya, he realized that he was this close to revealing his resentment regarding their 'twins concept'. His ramshackle emotion was having a hold over him and he could feel the attack given how trembling his body was.

"Please use your common sense, Masato. Use your brain," Tokiya said. It sounded so mocking for Masato who had an inferiority complex about his disability. "The others are so nice to you but for some reason, you guys always missed one member which is me. So, logically speaking, there's something happened between us and what is it? I did something which made them resented me. I insulted you guys for being unable to reach stardom when you're in the same group with me. But still, since you're sick, they didn't want to make you worried so they decided to keep it as a secret. Is it that hard to understand, hmm?"

"Don't treat me like I am a fool, Tokiya," Masato said. It was so hurt when he just learned of this sarcastic Tokiya.

"You're, Masato. You're," Tokiya scoffed, followed by his snicker. "They gave you hints that you should stay out of this but you kept butting in. So how am I supposed to treat you, huh?"

"I think I will feel healthier if I know what happened in STARISH and figure on the solution with you guys instead of doing nothing," Masato said. His voice quivered with the thought of his hopelessness in this situation when they were always there for him. "Do you know what did the doctor say to me? My memory improved most probably because I met you. Previously, it only lasted for two weeks but since I met you, it lasted until now. It hints that you contribute the bigger part of my memory. You mean so much to the old me, Tokiya!"

Tokiya was too broken to speak. As if the familiar warmth from Masato's words was not enough, all the moral support that he received from the guy due to the stress from his 'stripper' job before had also clouded his mind.

It cruelly reminded him how supportive Masato was as his friend. That guy had saved him from committing suicide so many times before.

"I wish we can reconcile. I want STARISH to be together again. I believe that alone will make me stay healthy."

As expected from the Saint, Tokiya thought in bitter. But I am sorry, Masato. I had to keep you away from me. Then only all of us will be fine.

This time, he would use Haruka to hurt Masato. He knew how much the woman meant for her husband.

His president's threat darkened his mind again.

"If your teammates know your illness, all of you are finished. I will make sure that STARISH will completely be wiped out from the showbiz forever."

He suffered from clinical depression and complex post-traumatic stress disorder since more than ten years ago but he could not let them know.

"No need to patch up with me, Masato," he said, clearing his throat. His chest felt heavy already with what he had planned to say but he was left with no choice. "Because between us itself, we do have a conflict. We are twins with blue hairs, similar personality and we get along well but you miss the last part. We both love the same woman."

"What?"

Did he say... he loves Haruka? Or...

"Yes, it's Haruka," he said, precisely guessing Masato's thought. "And that's the answer for your questions. How can I be in a relationship when I love your wife?" Tokiya said, sending a shiver down to his twin's veins. "She's my first love and I am still madly in love with her until now. When the president finally lifted the relationship ban, I was about to propose her but I was slightly later than you. But today, I just heard the most interesting statement from you. Do you remember? You said, 'I hope she will be yours soon, Tokiya. You are a nice guy so you deserve a nice girl.' Really? Do you really hope that Haruka will become mine?"

"Stop that, Tokiya," Masato said, unable to conceal his anxiety. "This is not funny."

"I am not trying to be funny. I just gave the real answers since you're so curious about me. It's not my fault. You asked for it," Tokiya mocked. "You already dug your own grave by saying that you're jealous of me for being Haruka's inspiration. You know what? Since I inspired her and I changed her life, she should be mine. Not yours."

Masato was too scared to speak.

"But I guess God still sympathized with me. You saw how your daughters treated me, right? You know what? Both Harumi and Mitsuki used to mistake me for you. I think this might be a big chance for me to replace you in your family in case you die. You trust me enough to protect Haruka from Van anyway."

Each of Tokiya's word was like a deep stab through Masato's heart. The scion shivered with the possibility of Tokiya would betray him, considering the big chance was there.

And he was one of the contributors to the big chance.

"Why are you so quiet? Too afraid to speak? I bet you're. Your twin here is not as kind as you think, Masato," Tokiya added playfully but still managed to suggest a menace. "So, just a bit of advice. Next time, please believe those who are always there for you. Not someone like me."

Masato froze in his place when the call ended with a loud thud. His eyes stared at nothing in particular but he knew, he was daunted by the threat.

Did Tokiya really mean what he said? Was that a real threat?

His phone lit up, showing a message from Ren.

Hey, I am sorry. I was with my daughter. Why did you call me?

With difficulties, Masato typed out a new message.

Ren, Tokiya has become so weird.

Done with Masato. I can continue my life as usual. No more STARISH, no more Haruka, Tokiya thought as he tossed his phone to the small table before slamming his body in the bed. He never thought that one day, every single threat that he blurted out to Masato would haunt his life forever.

A few minutes passed but something still bugged his head.

He missed his teammates. He missed their tendency to be a bunch of clowns who cared about him more than he did. The potluck was a red-letter day if it was not because of the fight.

Tokiya stared at the ceiling as he sadly reminisced about those happy and painful moments with them.

How much did STARISH mean to Tokiya?

The answer was unthinkable but if he had to put in a simpler way...

STARISH was his home and his teammates were the family members. For someone who grew up in a brusque family with workaholic parents, it was bound that his friends were everything for him. Their randomness made his life colorful. He used to have a mindset that all he had to do was working hard for his future but knowing more about them had him realized that each person in this world needed somebody in their life.

It was never fun and meaningful to be alone.

His teammates were so random like suddenly asking him to call all of them by their first names.

"Come on, Tokiya! You can do it! All of us already practiced it when you were in Hokkaido last month," Otoya insisted when they were taking a break from their dance practice.

"Does it matter? It's not like I treat you guys differently," Tokiya reasoned out. He felt more discomfited when all six of them were eyeing him out of anticipation.

"Yes, it does! We'll sound more like seven siblings instead of teammates," Cecil exclaimed. "Come on, Tokiya! You called me Aijima-san for four years already! I want you to call me Cecil."

"You call me Syo but we rarely hang out together. Heck, you are close to Masato but you still call him Hijirikawa-san? Let's be consistent and close-knit!" Syo said, smacking Tokiya's back.

After arguing almost for fifteen minutes, Haruka who just went back from her meeting joined them. It sparked another idea for Ren who was aware of Tokiya's feeling towards the composer.

"Haruka, can you call him 'Tokiya' instead of 'Ichinose-san'?" Ren said.

"Huh?" Tokiya and Haruka exclaimed in unison.

"Haruka also started practicing our 'call by first name' rule. She should call you by one too," Otoya added.

"Yeah, Haruka! Show him!" Cecil encouraged, followed by Natsuki's touch on her shoulder.

"Well..." Haruka who was sitting in seiza style held his eyes, followed by a sweet smile.

It felt strange when everyone was overjoyed at this kind of matter but as soon as Haruka was involved, Tokiya could not evade but be riveted on her voice which attempted to address him as his first name.

"I'll try even it's so awkward," Haruka fanned herself. "Why does it make me nervous?"

"It's because Tokiya looks so stern to be called by his first name, right?" Ren teased, ignoring the dissatisfied look from the said guy.

"No, no. I swear he doesn't," Haruka waved her hands earnestly. She had no idea how endearing she was to Tokiya who had suppressed his feeling towards her for a long time. "It's just that... Okay, I give up. I guess... let's be closer, Tokiya."

If Tokiya was as bubbly as Natsuki or Otoya, he would jump excitedly.

After that, for whatever reason, Haruka stretched out her hand like they just closed a deal while Tokiya accepted it vacantly.

"Okay, let's do that."

"Hey, what're you guys doing!? Do you have to shake hands? Unbelievable!" Syo cried out.

"They're too socially awkward. That's why," Ren supplied.

"They're so cute!" Natsuki exclaimed, pulling both his socially awkward friends into a hug.

Tokiya ignored their repartee and the urge to escape from Natsuki's bone-crushing hug. Instead, he was smiling for the rest of the day.

Tokiya also would be the cynosure of his teammates when they gained a break including Christmas Day. Tokiya had inured himself to spend his vacation alone since he lived with his parents so he had no problem when his friends wanted to spend their Christmas Day with their family.

But apparently, they did not share the same opinion.

"Tokiya, are you sure you'll be okay?" Otoya asked, pulling his luggage.

"Yes, I'll," Tokiya said, eyes were glued to his novel. When he received no responses nor whine from his thoughtful roommate, he lifted his head.

Otoya was frowning, which caused another 'I'll be fine' answer from Tokiya.

"But you'll be alone. I can't celebrate Christmas Day in the orphanage when I know my best friend will be alone here!" Otoya cried out. His red eyes glistened with concern and Tokiya bet, Otoya's fans would go crazy if they could see this kind of expression.

But in the eyes of him as Otoya's roommate who saw the redhead for 24 hours, Tokiya thought that the redhead was just too dramatic. This kind of reaction was hard to be comprehended by a stoic like him.

"You make it sound like I will die from loneliness," he narrowed his eyes, attempting to scare his not-so-beloved roommate. Unlike usual, it did not work out. "I won't die, Otoya. Just go already! You don't want them to wait for you, right?"

"If you say so, I guess I will leave now. See you after the break," Otoya said, pulling his luggage as he headed for the door. "Bye, Tokiya."

"Bye. Take care," the blue head replied, returning his attention towards his novel. It was not like he was annoyed with his roommate. The guy had always been caring about everyone.

But, a few seconds later, Tokiya almost changed his opinion about the sweet redhead when he could spot a suspicious glimpse of red hair from the corner of his eyes. He turned, only to see Otoya, standing from outside of the room while staring at him. Only half of his face was shown which made his infamous puppy-liked eyes more visible.

"Tokiya, seriously?"

He reminds me of Doraemon who finally gets a holiday but still hesitates to leave Nobita alone, Tokiya thought. It's not like I will be bullied by Jaian if I stay here.

"Yes, Otoya. I am not Nobita, okay? I can survive on my own," Tokiya said with a heavy sigh. "We all will throw a party soon, right? So, you should go and enjoy yourself in the orphanage first."

"Okay, then."

The door was closed but Tokiya had a different idea. He put the novel on his table before heading for the door. As soon as he slammed it open, his not-so-beloved roommate was still there, still in the original position. It was obvious that he was going to open the door and ask Tokiya again.

"Hehehehe," Otoya scratched his red head, swallowing his saliva as Tokiya crossed his arms over his chest.

He's going to get angry with me.

"What do you want now, Otoya? I said I am fine, okay?"

"But..."

"Tokiyaaaa, let's join my family for Christmas Day! Kaoru wants to see you!" Syo who suddenly stormed out of his room interrupted their conversation, followed by the more and less energetic Natsuki and Cecil.

"Hey, that's unfair! I was about to ask him to follow me first!" Otoya protested which childishly brought the uproar in the middle of the corridor.

"You're slow, Otoya! Kaoru is asking me to bring Tokiya to our house. He wants to talk about medical stuff with him."

"Obviously you're not being a useful twin for Kaoru, Syo. He even wants to talk to his brother's friend instead!" Cecil scoffed. "Tokiya, why don't you follow me to my country? I bet you love to learn about different culture, right!?"

"Shut up! I am asking him first, you fool!"

As Tokiya was speechless to see his three youngest teammates argued with each other, Natsuki was flashing a smile.

"In case you wonder..."

"Yes, I do. Why do they have to fight about it when I am fine to celebrate Christmas Day by myself?"

"That's how friends are, Tokiya. Sometimes, they will worry over us more than ourselves," Natsuki's casual but sincere remark brought something warm in Tokiya's heart. "Well, we talked about this a lot about how you always spent time alone during a break. We just thought that we wanted you to have fun with our family too."

How's celebrating Christmas Day with a family will feel like? I have no idea, Tokiya pondered. His family never celebrated events together so he never knew.

"Well, I guess I understand what do you mean, Natsuki."

When Masato and Ren already joined the argument about who would bring Tokiya to their house first, the blue head knew he would never be alone again during his upcoming vacation.

Little did Tokiya know, when he started to be more open and accept STARISH as his family, his 'career' had ruined him and his friendship.

It all started when Saotome pulled a meeting with his assistants who were also the famous celebrities, Hyuga Ryuya, and Tsukimiya Ringo.

"They both are quite famous nowadays, right?" Ringo, the only cross-dresser in Shining Agency tapped his fingers on Tokiya's picture, followed by Masato's. It was the article for their participation in Neo Dream Music Festival, performing Original Resonance. "A lot of fans dubbed them twins for their similar looks. Why don't we make it official, Saotome?"

"Yeah, it'll be a good promotion for the group. Lately, HEAVENS also can easily defeat STARISH with their fierce image so we have to come up with a different concept for all seven of them," Hyuga pointed out.

"No, we don't have to change all of them," Saotome swayed his finger in their direction. It was clear that he had an idea from the start. "All we need to change is Tokiya. With Masato as his teammate, it'll make our job easier."

"Huh?" Hyuga exclaimed, grimacing at the easy-sounded plan. "That's it?"

"What do you mean, Saotome?" Ringo asked, staring at Tokiya's smiling face perplexedly.

"We have to fix him with a certain image. Fixed but powerful," Saotome began to explain. His smile was eerie since his plan would not only bring him way more opulence but also indicated his lack of humanity. "All STARISH members have their permanent image especially Masato. It's obvious that people will relate him with historical drama, ikebana, husband material and what not. He gained tons of similar projects which needed him to be all conservative and saint-like. The others also have gone through similar situations. Otoya with his sweet demeanor, Ren with a flirty image but Tokiya? He has worked the longest in this industry out of them and he had proved himself as a versatile entertainer."

"But, what kind of image are we talking about here? Come to think of it, you're right, Saotome. Tokiya's image has overlapped with other members' so it's kind of hard to identify his image especially when his personality is similar to Masato. Cool, calm, and collected," Ringo remarked.

"But he's not as traditional as Masato. Tokiya is more flexible in that sense," Hyuga pointed out which cast light on the meeting. His eyes sized up before gazing into his boss. "I think I know what Saotome meant. He wants to make Tokiya as the very opposite of Masato, right? For example, if Masato is the Saint, Tokiya will be..."

"The Stripper," Saotome added, gaining him a loud gasp from Ringo and a blank stare from Hyuga. "Thanks for the idea, Hyuga."

"So basically, Tokiya has to..."

"Yes, Hyuga. He has to be provocative, in contrast to the modest Masato."

"But, Saotome... should we give such title to Ren instead? While Tokiya is flexible, he's still prim and innocent. I don't think he can carry such offensive title," Ringo highlighted. "He's not even a ladies' man like Ren."

"And he's also not a show-off like Ren. Remember that," Saotome replied. "Ren made it too obvious that he's confident with his charm. Women nowadays find it corny, you know. Instead, they want someone like Tokiya. Quiet, mysterious, but sexy. Plus, there are so many girls romanticize abusive relationship, alpha males, and bad boys. It doesn't matter how creepy the guy's personality is, as long as he's hot, he'll be forgiven easily. Those stupid girls are Tokiya's target audience."

"And yet, you're the 'smart' president who exploited his artist for such an immoral job?" Ringo snickered before laughing.

"Of course. We give what the majority wants no matter how perverted they are. I am not establishing this agency to give moral education to my customers. I simply want to make money," Saotome emphasized, smirking at his own words. "Plus, Tokiya should be grateful for what I have done to him. I gave him the second chance to debut again as himself so he might as well use his Stripper title to show his appreciation to me."

"But STARISH is well-known for their clean image, Saotome. Are they going to be alright with Tokiya as the Stripper?" Hyuga asked. His boss's ability to answer any kind of question piqued more of his curiosity.

"In fact, they should thank Tokiya later for making STARISH more popular. Trust me. In future, among them, Tokiya will be called the Heart-throb. Why? Because he's the Stripper and he will gain us way more profits than his teammates. Plus..." Saotome paused, enjoying his assistants' anticipated expression. "A lot of VIPs want him and will pay us a lot for Tokiya's 'service'. They are waiting for my green light."

Soooo, Hyuga, Ringo, and Saotome are veeeery OOC in this story. Just saying XD As usual, if you have something to say about this chapter, feel free to let me know, okay? Thank you for reading ^^