TRIGGER WARNING. Self harm. Attempted Suicide, scars.

Nejire woke up in UA. She had graduated a month prior yet she was forced to remain for her own safety. Her parents even came in. She loved it. She had her parents with her again, and she got to keep her room permanently because they hadn't exactly introduced new kids to the school because of the current ordeal.

Her room was blush pink with a cute canopy bed. Her bed felt far softer than it had before, to the point that she didn't want to get out. It was warm and soft, and the rug below with her bunny slippers never could compare. She was tired despite passing out at seven, the second she got back from patrol with Ryukyu.

She was tired.

Exhausted almost.

But she had to get up. She had to check on her parents and get to work. Especially since it was already seven and she had to be there at nine.

She hadn't showered in a bit, always far too tired to actually take the time to do so. Standing in the shower where she felt she might fall asleep and hit her head, or pass out in the bathtub. Too scary for her, so she had been falling asleep before even bathing.

She didn't like the shower. Standing there and getting her hair wet and heavy, making it feel so much like her old hair that fell to the floor. Like a waterfall.

And the distant memory on her body, where if she thought too much about it, she'd feel her head being far too light. It would simply make her sob in the shower. Hard. She'd stand there screaming, or just a simple stream that if Mirio popped in on accident one day, like he had before, her tears would blend in with the showers water.

And then the mirror as well. It wasn't bad and luckily hadn't ruined her facial structure, but her skin. It was pale all over, but then her skin in that one part. Just one small part that refused to heal that was still red. It was so ugly and she felt like a stranger in her own body.

So instead of taking a shower, refusing to even step into the bathroom to brush her teeth in fear of looking at herself and feeling like a stranger. Like an imposter.

She didn't feel like going to her parents. Ever since she had been burnt by Dabi, they seemed to look at her differently. As if to make sure she wasn't Toga cosplaying as their daughter.

It hurt. Like she didn't count as her mom's daughter. And she had already felt different, being that her mom had a completely different skin complexion and hair type. Yet she was her daughter.

So she left her room after throwing on her clothes, forgetting a jacket in the spring weather, where it was still freezing cold.

"Hadou!"

"Hi Togata." She sighed, not in the mood to be chipper. She hadn't had her morning coffee, and the line was definitely going to be much longer now since they didn't have school at nine and had their own jobs that required them to be up far earlier.

"How are you doing?"

"Could be better. Hardly wanted to get up today." She chuckled, hero costume in hand as she walked downstairs. "I get to visit my mom's cafe though, so yay!" She fake cheered and walked down the stairs.

Her mom was there, her dad was there, and her coffee buddy was there. He was a year older than her, and ironically the brother of the man that ruined her life. So it was funny that they were best friends.

"That's nice. Going to work? Or just a stroll?"

"Work. Ryukyu and I are patrolling today. Only for three hours so that's fun." She yawned.

"Aw, well tell her highness that I said hi." Mirio teased. "Tamaki and I are watching a kdrama in my room tonight, wanna watch?"

"Oh, uh... maybe?"

"Alright! We'll have to make kettle corn for you!" He gasped. She laughed with him and slowly got anxious. Was he gonna say what he usually said in the mornings? Everytime they bumped into one another that early, he'd compliment her, calling her pretty. Always music. It sounded vain, but she liked being reassured when she felt like shit so early. And this was the first time they were really up at the same time.

"Oh! Thanks." She said, awkwardly patting his shoulder. He looked down at her arm and then at her. She noticed his glancing and jerked her arm away. All of the scratches coating her arm weren't on purpose. Not at all. She just got itchy.

"Well, uh. Have fun today! Be safe, and we can have a pajama party tonight!" He said, taking off.

"See ya."

She sighed and left UA campus for Ryukyu's agency. Or well, her mom's cafe first. She had already gotten paid extra for buying food from the cafe.

When she walked into her mom's bakery, she sighed and looked around. Natsuo wasn't there. And her mom was probably in the back because the young girl who was absolutely terrified to be working at the moment was at the front.

"Can I have a large Honey dew milk tea and a large caramel latte?" She asked. "Oh, and with a medium macaroon set?" She asked. She brought them in for Ryuko and her to eat together before work, and they counted as her breakfast today.

"Of course Nejire."

She swiped her card and sat down. Then the wind chimes rang! She looked up and smiled at the customer.

"Hey Hadou." He said. "I can't stay long, but how are you?" He asked.

"Well, Natsuo, I've already said you can call me Nejire. But I'm good." She said, keeping her teeth hidden from him. "How have you been?"

"Eh. Bunch of drama over my brother, same old same old." Natsuo laughed at her. "Other than that, my college courses are still the same. How's hero work?"

"Boring. All we're dealing with is the basic civilian uproar and the Tartarus outbreak."

"Ah. How's your dad?"

"Enji's fine. We're in the process of moving to our newer home." Natsuo sighed. "Well, we were. Fuyumi is thinking about moving us and our mom to UA?"

"Oh? That's cool! You have to meet Mirio and Tamaki. They're really cool."

"Your boyfriends?"

"They're not my boyfriends you idiot." She said with a laugh. "I'm excited I get to go home early today. Ryuko's shifts got much shorter recently."

"Ryuko? Ryukyu?"

"Mhm. I thought you knew her?"

"I've met her. Didn't realize her name was so close to her hero name."

"She's from Okinawa, so it's a play on the Ryukyu Islands and dragon. Funny right?" She said. Natsuo was intrigued by that fact.

"Nejire?" The worker called out and Nejire got up for her bag and drinks. Her caramel latte and Ryuko's drink were in her hand and the box on her elbow crease.

"I gotta go, see ya soon!" She said, picking up her hero costume and taking off.

"Bye Nejire!" He whispered to her as she left.

Her expression fell almost immediately after she left the cafe. But she grinned again thinking about Natsuo, Mirio, and Tamaki all talking and being friendly, them all being the same age and them being guys. She was sure he and Mirio would probably talk about sports or something like that, and Tamaki would be too shy to speak to him like he had been with her when they had first talked to one another.

She was lucky Ryuko's agency was only a few blocks away.

When she stumbled in, she put on a big grin and her their drinks up. "Look what I've got!" She shouted. The other side kicks usually ate the macaroons she brought in. All the girls gathered around, Ryuko patting Nejire's head.

Ryuko was her older sister character. She taught her absolutely everything, and listened to her. She felt happy being around her, sometimes calling her by older sister honorifics. Sometimes "Neesan" or "Nee Chan." And in response, Ryuko would look at her and call her "Imouto."

And it felt good.

"Oooh, honey dew, right?" Ryuko asked.

"Mhm!" Nejire said. "I got to see my friend today! He was really nice! We talked a bit before I came here."

"That's nice. What was he like?" Ryuko asked, taking a sip and Nejire followed her to the small table.

"He's really sweet. We talked for three minutes though." Nejire giggled. "Natsuo Todoroki?"

"Hadou's got a crush on Endeavor's kid?" Ryuko fake shouted, teasing Nejire.

"I do not!" Nejire pouted. "He's just my friend!"

"You said the exact same thing about Mirio and guess what? You crushed on him for two months before you decided not to anymore."

"He's my friend!"

"And then there was Haya, you had a crush on her." She listed. "And you crushed on Mt.Lady when we teamed up with Team Lurkers." Ryuko listed.

"Oh you had a crush on Edgeshot!"

"Ok? And? I'm an adult."

"I am too!" Nejire gasped, offended. "And guess what. Now your dating him!" She teased. Ryuko pressed a finger to her lips, taking a bite out of a macaroon.

"Shhh, we're staying quiet right now!" Ryuko hushed her.

"Alright." Nejire said, rolling her eyes. Nejire giggled with Ryuko for a while before they had to get ready for patrol. She wasn't thrilled to be doing it, but she had to. She'd much rather memorize that laughing fest she and Ryuko had. Eating a not healthy breakfast and making jokes about each other's crushes.

Ryuko and Nejire weren't new to dressing in front of one another. The locker room was where Ochako, Nejire, Tsu, multiple sidekicks, even Ryuko got dressed in there. It was private and checked every day as a women only agency. They'd check and make sure no one snuck in and stuff, so it was a safe place, but it didn't matter right now.

"Hey, I'm gonna get ready in the showers Ryuko." Nejire said, backing up.

"Huh? That's weird. You got some hickies or something? I don't care if you do."

"Uh, not that. I just... don't want to change in the opening." Nejire mumbled, rubbing her arm. Ryuko cocked her head. She could make the quick excuse that she didn't want the idea of cameras being around.

Her body didn't seem anything like her prior one. When Midnight was alive, she felt happy. She made her feel much more comfortable with her body being so "proportional" as Mirio would call it. Now... her neck to her collarbone was scarred.

And well, her thighs too. But she didn't wanna talk about it...

//////

Nejire ran home after work on Friday. She was heavily breathing, absolutely unable to calm down.

She hated herself. She hated herself. She hated herself.

Nejire was her little sister. Little sisters and big sisters get into fights all the time, right? They had to.

She had never been shouted at by Ryuko. She was so patient and calm. She was the kindest woman she knew.

And yet when Nejire messed up at patrol today, Ryuko wasn't so happy. Instead of stepping like she did before, she watched Nejire continue fighting until she nearly passed out. She watched Ochako and Tsuyu closely, shouting out for them to do specifics, actually helping. She only stepped in, grabbing Nejire's hair before she was nearly killed, and pulling her away before having Tsu and Ochako deal with him.

"I don't have time for you right now."

She understood. She was eighteen now. No longer a UA student. She was so stupid.

Nejire hit her head, cursing herself out as she fell to the floor in her hallway.

"Stupid, stupid, stupid." She cursed herself out, hitting her her head with her curled up hand. "Can't even handle a villain! A small one at that." She sobbed. She didn't know why she didn't do this in her room. Maybe someone coming out and wanting to help made her feel good. Seeking validations of some sort like she did before.

"You're not stupid!"

"You're adorable."

"You're so beautiful."

"Hadou?"

Fuck! It was Amajiki. As much as she wanted the attention of someone caring again, she didn't wanna hurt him even more. He was anxious and nervous, and depressed, and everything she wasn't, but-

"Hadou?"

"What?!" She screamed. She immediately covered her mouth, terrified of what just came out. It wasn't her. It wasn't. She wasn't mean. She wasn't! She was just the sweetheart that everyone could bring home to their mom. Not the damaged goods someone threw out. "I'm sorry! I didn't mean it!"

"O-oh. It's fine. What's wrong with you?"

"I- I don't know, I just. I'm not me." Nejire sighed.

"Yeah you are. You're still Hadou." Tamaki said, crouching down next to her. "Right? You look like her." He said, gently knocking on her head. "C'mon, we're going inside." Tamaki sighed, standing up and picking up her hand.

"No, you really don't have to listen." She mumbled, getting up. "I don't wanna make you feel bad."

"Well... thanks?" He mumbled looking off. "But... I don't think I'm that important right now." Tamaki said, sitting on her bed and patting the other side. Nejire looked around her room. "What's up?"

"I just... Ryukyu yelled at me for the first time." Nejire sighed, too embarrassed to make direct eye contact with him. "I messed up and she had to save me."

"Saving people is her job. I'm sure she was frustrated that you weren't safe." Tamaki shrugged.

"But she told me she didn't have time for me." Nejire mumbled. The only thing running through her head was if Ryuko would even cry at her funeral. Would she be too busy comforting Ochako and Tsu. Not having enough time to mourn her.

"Former UA beauty Queen found dead."

"I was fucking useless. Ochako and Tsu are second years and they took down their villain far faster than me. And she had to step in because he almost killed me." Nejire said, her lip quivering.

"I'm sure you're not useless. I work with you all the time and you always find the most people that need help." Tamaki said. Nejire looked to the side.

"But I am! I am useless!" Nejire bawled. "I'm nothing compared to last year. I cant even fall back on being pretty anymore! Because I'm not. I don't even feel like me, I feel like I'm some damn imposter in Nejire Hadou's body."

"Oh... well, I still think you're pretty? I mean, it's me, so it's not like it's a lot, but it's something..."

Nejire stared at Tamaki in silence for a while. He looked flustered and blushed.

However, it felt empty. It felt empty even after hearing someone say what she wanted to hear. She wasn't pretty. She stared at him.

"Hey... Amajiki?"

"Yeah?"

"C-can you leave?"

"Oh, of course. If you need me, just knock?"

"Alright." She mumbled.

He seemed upset as he left, but Nejire barely even noticed. His voice just sounded so pitiful as he called her pretty. And that wasn't what she wanted. He only said it because she had mentioned being ugly. That wasn't a genuine compliment.

Before he fully left, he ran back in, giving her a large hug. "Please, drop by if you want."

She had to be over reacting at this point. Ryuko didn't hate her.

Or did she? She seemed so mad at her. Just when she was getting better.

Nejire curled up in a ball and laid there, covering up in her comforter. She didn't deserve Tamaki

///////

Nejire's hair was so itchy at this point. She hadn't washed it in about... three weeks? She couldn't bring herself to brush her teeth, bathe, anything.

She had kept her hair tied up, even during work. It didn't matter to her if she was used to keeping it down. The Bob didn't look shitty if she tied it back.

Her entire old class had picked up on her bathing habits. She'd just bathe in the sink in her own bathroom.

If she dared bathe in the common room, she knew she'd get into a fight. Someone would have to point it out. She'd been with these girls for what? Four years now. Someone would point out the countless scars covering her thighs, shoulders, and forearms.

She didn't want to have to go through the full explanation of her getting itchy easily and it's just scratches. She wasn't cutting or anything. She was just itchy.

And yeah... she had to explain that to Mirio too. They were watching movies while Tamaki was out. It had been the first time they really had a moment alone since the day she saw Natsuo.

She had forgotten he had seen all of her scratches. Her arms were really fucked up at this point. Especially when she was messing around and flailed her uncovered arms too much while talking about a movie. At one moment he was laughing, and at the next he had paused the movie and grabbed her wrist.

"Hey, Hadou? You know you can tell me anything?" He said. She snatched her arm away quick.

"You scared me! Don't do that!" She screamed at him, rubbing along her wrist. He had grabbed at a fresh scratch.

"Why're you hurting yourself?" Mirio asked.

"I'm not?" She mumbled under her breath. "I just get itchy. You know I'm allergic to pollen, and guess what! Spring!"

"You didn't have bright red scratch marks last year? And then some of them don't even look like scratches, and they're so precise and- Nejire are you ok?"

Nejire curled up in a ball as if she was backed into a corner. She held onto her wrists and protected herself.

"It's- it's none of your business!" She shouted at him, turning away. He looked confused. Like a villain had infiltrated his room and took Nejire's place. Tamaki didn't act like that. Ever. Nejire had also never screamed at him like that.

"Are you ok? You're acting really different. Nejire?" Mirio said. He could list everything he had noticed, like her new habit of not bathing, which he could see. Sink baths weren't that good, being that... well... she didn't do a good job at it. And her teeth had been pearly white for the longest, but now they were a beige color.

"I swear, it's nothing. Just back off. Turn the movie back on." She said, curling into a fetal position.

"Wait, but like, honestly. You can talk to me Hadou."

"I don't wanna talk about it."

His arms were covered head to toe in scars. She wasn't suffering nearly as much as he had. He lost his quirk for months and she just got a little scar. She was pathetic.

"If you're hurting yourself, I don't want to just drop it. Please?"

"No!" She stood up and marched out of his room. "I don't wanna talk about it."

"No one would care if you died. All you are is a pretty face to them. And you aren't even that anymore."

Nejire stopped where she stood. She didn't have the strength to say "that's not true." Or that "Ryuko, Tsu, and Ochako would care!" Like she would typically do. She just heard it replay and replay.

She had just yelled at Mirio and he looked at her like she was a monster as well.

And it felt empty when he hugged her because he saw those tears running down her face, like she didn't deserve the embrace. Because she wasn't Nejire. She was a shell of what she used to be. Like a snake shedding. She was no where near the person Nejire was.

So she just cried more. More and more. Until she was practically screaming in his arms. She was taking advantage of his kindness.

And that wasn't something Nejire would do.

///////

Nejire dropped by the cafe on her day off. Her hair tied back because of how dirty it was. It was greasy and oily and it looked somewhat presentable when she put it up.

It had been about a month since she visited the cafe. She hadn't visited her mother either. And it didn't help that her mom decided to work at the front today.

She loved her mom, but damn. Could she ask questions for hours about her health. She hated it.

So she walked up to the line and just watched as her mom frowned at her. Again looking like she wasn't her daughter and was a random.

"Hi mamá." She mumbled, walking around the counter and making her own drink like she did when her mom was at the front.

She could hear the faint calling of a name. It was her mom's voice. She was probably calling out a customers name for their order. She wasn't bothered by it.

"Nejire!" Her mom basically shouted her name.

"Hm?"

"I called your name like ten times."

Oh.

That was her name she was calling.

"Sorry. Guess I'm out of it today." She mumbled, kissing her mom's cheek and going back into the seating area. She was just wearing an oversized tshirt, it belonged to Mirio, and a jacket with work out shorts. She didn't feel like getting all dressed up.

Natsuo stood in front of her table.

"Oh hey. How're you?" She asked, patting the seat in front of her.

"I mean, kinda shocked. I had to move three tables because you walked past me?"

"Oh... sorry bout that." She yawned. "Sit down! I wanna talk!"

"Oh, alright."

"Ok! So... you know about like... your dad and stuff?"

"Mhm?" He squinted at her with suspicion. "What about him."

"So did you... ever get like... depressed because of him?" She asked, her fingers fidgeting as she talked to him.

"Not really. I was more pissed than depressed. Like... it was far more traumatic than anything." Natsuo shrugged. "Why're we talking about this?" He whispered.

"I just wanted to know."

"Oh. Well... no, not really. I kind of wanted to die a lot, but it's like, it would make my sister, though I can't stand her sometimes..." Natsuo laughed at himself, "it would make her sad, so I never let those thoughts come back I guess."

Mirio and Tamaki... and Ryuko... Tsu... Ochako... Yuyu...

Yuyu only liked her because she thought she was adorable, like everyone else. Did she even count anymore? And then Tsu and Ochako, they were their own best friends. They didn't care about Nejire. And Ryuko was getting sick of her, and Tamaki was lying to her, and Mirio...

He didn't even think she was pretty anymore.

"Well, thanks Natsuo." She said, getting up with her drink.

"No problem? Bye ______!"

"Bye..."

///////

The bridge looked awfully gorgeous. It was where she first watched a hero save someone, or at least, that she could remember. She was about five years old. It was Midnight. She had put someone to sleep right in front of her. And it was the coolest thing she had seen.

Midnight had the same body as her mother. Of course she thought she was cool. A tall woman that was busty, and showed it too.

The bridge however marked the day she and her friend's family almost died. It had collapsed once, and Nejire wound up pulling them out. It was actually the day she learned how to fly. Seventh grade, February 7th.

That wasn't a good day either. She had gotten a chrysanthemum on her desk. And a note.

She still remembered what it said.

"Kill yourself before you become a slut."

It was a dumb message, that she could laugh off, but when she got home, she was too proud of herself to cry, even though it did hurt.

But now, she could. All she had was her body now, and even then, she didn't even like that. Why couldn't she be like her mom? Happy with her hair in a pixie cut, tan skin so she didn't have to see all those bright pink scars coating her arms and legs, a body that didn't pain her to walk with.

That's why she took her favorite pair of shoes and dressed her best.

She didn't want people talking about that ugly scar even after she died.

"Nejire Hadou found dead in church clothes."

It wouldn't be a real caption but she'd find it funny.

And she bathed for the first time, looking herself in the mirror and doing a full face of makeup. Light pink dress and beige heels with a pink headband on.

She looked good.

She walked the full thirty minutes to the bridge. It commemorates her dreams of being a hero, her first time being one, and the day she died a hero. Well... not dying in a blaze of glory, more like she couldn't handle the world anymore.

Do she stood in front of it, taking her heels off and stared at the rushing rocks below.

"Hey, Mirio,"

"Hey Kitty,"

"Hey Neechan,"

"Hey Mom & dad,"

"Hey Natsuo,"

She typed it out slowly. She must've given them all a big scare with how she'd been acting.

"I'll probably make you cry. Sorry bout that lol. But I can't handle being me anymore. It's to the point I barely recognize my own name. I'm not the pretty girl you remember. I don't even know who I am at this point. I have an actual letter up in my room, so sorry about this bad one, but I just wanted to let you know. Im not answering my phone again."

"Thanks for loving me."

Nejire just started sobbing. Her phone almost immediately blew up with texts from her parents, Mirio, Ryuko, even Yuyu. She hadn't even texted Yuyu.

She was such a bitch. Making her family and friends cry over her not being able to handle a scar and a little haircut.

Her phone buzzed and buzzed as she thought about just chucking it into the water. She didn't want that to be the last thing she heard. Texts of people trying to save their conscience if she did die, knowing "at least I said something."

She stood there for a minute. She didn't have a reason to back out, but her brain had taken over. The survival part in her head had started yelling for her to back up as if she didn't do leaps like this every day.

She wished she hadn't thrown that flower out sometimes. Hah. Would've been a good accessory to see onto her headband that morning.

She hit her head sharply again. It became a habit.

"Stop fucking stalling. Stop it. Stop it."

"I'm in the area, stay right there."

It was from Ryuko. She really didn't wanna stress her out. She should've just done it. Gotten it over with minutes ago.

And she hadn't responded to her mom or step dad either. They must've been sobbing their eyes out.

Nejire took a deep breath and thought about hopping over the railing.

She heard Ryuko's voice. She was screaming at her, which she didn't blame her for. She was stupid and she should scold her.

"Please. Don't go." Ryuko begged, tears streaming down her face. She ran up to her, hugging Nejire. She held onto Nejire's shoulders even after hugging her close. "Hey, what's wrong? What made you feel like this? Who made you feel like this?" She asked, examining Nejire's face.

"Me..." she mumbled.

"What?"

"Me?! Ok? I'm not even me anymore. I don't feel like it at least." She sighed.

"Why the fuck do you even think this? Why didn't you tell me? You're my little sister!" Ryuko screamed.

"I'm not even the same face. I used to be pretty, and no one looked at me like I wasn't even me!My mom does it, Mirio does it, even you turn your head at me. Everyone treats me like I'm some dumb little kid that doesn't understand what's going on! Do you even know what I'm feeling?"

"Of course I do! I've gone through the exact same thing!"

"What?"

"This isn't about me, but I've seen so much, and I don't want to have to group you into that "much". Ok?" She said, falling to the floor at Nejire's knees. "Please, I will beg you on this pavement to just stay. You are loved far more than you'll ever know."

"They love the old me. When I was still nice, and wasn't ugly."

"You're beautiful and you're you. You're you and that's all I need to love you." Ryuko said.

Nejire stared down at her teacher. It felt like life came back to her. Someone crying over her felt so good. It was selfish to say. But she felt wanted. Like Ryuko wasn't lying to her. She genuinely saw her as pretty.

"If I had to sit through your funeral, I don't know if I'd be able to take it." Ryuko said, moving her hair completely out of the way, revealing a bunch of scars that took over the entirety of that side of her face. She wiped her face thoroughly, leaving her eyes red. "You're loved far more than you could ever know, you know that Nejire?"

Her phone kept buzzing. That was probably what she meant. Nejire fell to the floor next to Ryuko, and took heavy deep breaths.

"You're my little sister ok? You ever feel like this again, and you come straight to me.."

"I thought you were getting sick of me. That's why I didn't say anything."

"I would never get sick of you! You're probably my coolest sidekick!"

"I'm sorry for making you worry." She said, hugging Ryuko close and crying on her shoulder. Ryuko just patted her back like a mother would go a sobbing child. "I'm so sorry!"

——

Tamaki and Mirio showed up about ten minutes later, tears running down their faces only to feel a great relief when they saw Nejire still crying to Ryuko.

"Nejire!" Both of them ran up to her. "You're ok!" Tamaki was barely able to breath, as if he was having a panic attack before he got there.

The sight of her safety was enough to have him bawling on the spot.

"Are you alright? Are you safe?" Mirio asked, his big body making her feel small. She chuckled as he caressed her face.

"I'm ok." She mumbled. The look of fear in Ryuko's face was absolutely burned into her head. She could see the panic look as if she was about to tackle her to the ground to keep her safe.

It felt nice.

"I'm sorry I made you worry." She said, tears welling up again as she jumped into Mirio's arms. "I hate myself for what I did. I probably made my mom cry."

"I texted her you were ok already. She's not mad or anything." Tamaki sighed, hugging Nejire as well. "Please don't do anything like that again."

Nejire didn't wanna promise anything. Someday she'd try it again, and she knew it. It felt awful to think like that even after seeing all of these people care so deeply for her. Enough to run to her rescue from however many miles.

She buried her head into Tamaki's shoulder when she got the chance to hug him. He felt warm. It felt nice. Everything felt hyper sensitive after that. Like she saw everything in its saturated colors. How bright Ryuko's hair was, how pale Tamaki was seeing her, how happy they were.

But she felt sick. Like she knew she was gonna do it again. She was going to feel this bad again at some point.

And someday it might not be enough to have Ryuko come for her. Someday they might have to forcefully pull her away or even physically grab her hand because they got there right when she fell.

But Mirio and Tamaki thanked Ryuko who had finished crying and catching her breath, and took them home. They let her get changed in the bathroom and sat down with her for a while. And it sucked. She looked in the mirror and didn't see the old Nejire, even after all of what Ryuko said. It felt heavenly.

She had finally looked at her phone as well. All the messages after her text and Tamaki texting her mom we're all frantic and relieved. Except for Natsuo.

"Hey, bud. Sorry for the scare. I scared myself tonight. Can we talk about it next time we see each other? Feels bad over text."

And they watched The Little Mermaid that night. Mirio belted out all of the songs and Nejire just chuckled along with him, quiet the entire night.

It felt nice.

Not good.

But nice.

///////

I cried writing this. It stems from my personal depression that comes from attention and validation. So it's basically my life but I put it on Nejire because Nejire was the best candidate + Jellyfish cover.

And no, I don't self harm and haven't attempted.

So yea. This exists.