When do you know that it is over? The circle you've been going round and round in has now caused a hallow path in the ground. How do you know it's time to stop, and just stop pretending that you can't see it die anymore?

When do you know when to just sit, and let all the tears flow? Do you even know if you should let the tears flow? Or should you be mad?

What has to be the final extent to this charade that's being played? When does the curtain finally fall?

Is it okay to acknowledge that the fine red thread is breaking in the middle? When is it okay to leave?

Or are you already... gone?

"Is it that good?"

Hm?

I blinked — once, twice — before my eyes snapped up and met warm brown ones. Despite my moist vision, a soft smile spread across my face and I nodded.

"It's a great read."

"Say... what's the name of the book?" Matthew's eyes twinkled as he shifted in his seat upfront. Beside him, Romanov tapped his thumb impatiently against the wheel as he continued to drive us towards the castle.

We'd caught the 7pm flight from London, reaching Berlin as it was already moving towards sunset. Saying goodbye to everybody this time around was harder than the last. It was hard... having a home in more places than one. There was always someone to leave behind.

"Actually... it's a journal." I mumbled in response, my eyes running along the black leather binding on the old worn out diary.

"E. Leightmonshtein," I spoke the name of the owner under my breath as my fingers ran along the letters engraved on the leather cover.

"Well what is the journal about then? What good gossip did the earlier owner have to pour out into blank sheets of papers?" I matched Matthew's smirk as I pat the almost full journal warmly.

Poetic!

"Well — she got her heartbroken by her childhood sweetheart. Eight years of being in love and in the last entry she found out that for the past four... he had been courting someone else. Publicly."

Romanov scoffed from the driver's seat and Matthew's eyes widened on the now closed leather book — his lips curled with disgust.

"That's not all. In the latest entry, she is trying to express when it is fine to let go of him — because although he has the other woman, he simply isn't cutting ties with our writer as well. She doesn't know what he's feeling. I guess she just wants to know if he loves her or not—despite him being a lying scumbag."

"Read the next entry out loud!" Grayson straighten beside me, suddenly interested—his phone put aside.

Uncertainly, my gaze moved towards the diary again, feeling Romanov's eyes on me from the rear-view mirror. Matthew had now turned all the way in his seat— shotgun.

I released a low breath and slowly opened the journal to the page I had next to read. My thumb caressed the ancient page as I traced along the elegant slim writing, swirled, and curved into words. I began reading.

These passing nights have brought along many dreams. Death is a constant in all of these. Every warmth seems to be slowly fading — a chill even this velvet dress cannot defeat.

Their marriage is this coming winter. It's going to be the most celebrated affair.

Fate is so cruel. The whole village is happy with glee — so many getting employed because of his wedding. So many rejoicing.

So many — and yet not me.

We'd met where we always did, under the full moon's light. Small pebbles in his palm, he threw them one by one into the lake.

One by one while he explained that she was younger. Only just blossoming.

Eight years, I'd grown with him. Loved and dreamed of getting old with him.

Eight years. Twenty years and two, my blossoming days are done.

Small pebbles, one by one he threw into the lake. One by one — all but one.

One I'll always cherish.

A monument for the garden of blossom I lost, waiting for a man who burnt them all.

These passing nights have brought many dreams... death —a constant in all these.

Merciful, oh Lord, forgive me. For tonight, I fear I've lost the last bit of warmth in me.

A strange sort of silence had settled in the car, I flipped the journal close and looked up, my eyes meeting Matthew's disturbed brown ones.

Beside me Grayson sunk in his seat and let out a low whistle. "I'm guessing she became a cold shell of a woman afterwards?"

"Read the next entry."

All three of our heads turned towards Romanov, who surprisingly kept on driving, his calm gaze steadily on the road.

"Read the next entry," he repeated, and I blinked, my eyes at once moving down towards the diary again.

Father Henry delivered a wonderful sermon today.
About youth and beauty.

He didn't ponder on many details that my heart required — but as much as he said was enough.

Youth.

Is the cure to this ailment? The essence of true
happiness. Youth and beauty.

The wedding day grows closer and so does the desperate need to keep alive the hope that maybe if what has been lost is regained, I may still be able to win him.

Youth and Beauty.

That's exactly what I need. But before it, I need money.

Funny, when I have not a single penny in my keep.

There is a new Lord in town. They say he is quite ravishingly handsome. Sad however, as he is still in mourning. His poor wife has just passed away.

At nights when sleep comes playing hide and seek, I lie awake and wonder if I should try and talk to the widowed Lord —maybe beg him for a dime?

Enough to buy some rouge.

Maybe then, my flowers will blossom once more...

Maybe then even the wedding will be no more.

Oh, how I wish.

"Can I see the journal?" Romanov inquired casually after a moment of silence, surprising all of the rest of us in the vehicle as we stirred out of our own inflicted personal bubbles of thought.

My eyes moved down to the black leather and I pressed it tightly before smiling curiously.

"Sure," I mumbled as I extended the book towards the driver's side, at once Romanov's hand grabbed at the book.

All three, Matthew, Gray and I watched as Romanov glanced at the book, before he flung the book out of the car.

"Rome!"
"Alpha!"
"WHAATTT!"

My mouth fell agape in disbelieve and outrage as I looked at the forest the book had disappeared into —my jaw still on the floor, I turned towards the front.

Romanov's charcoal coloured pools found mine in the rear-view mirror. "It was Edika's journal. How did you find it?"

I blinked.

My whole body seemed to be suddenly shaking. The image of the bodily distorted Edika from that horrible night, rushed into my mind like dirty blood.

"Olivia!"

I blinked. My focus returning to the question I had been asked.

"I found it in the castle library, hidden in a secret compartment under the cushions on the alcove bench."

"My mother hid it there."

I couldn't stop the gasp from slipping.

The two other men stilling in their seats sat in full attention now.

"She found it too. Just randomly. She had been reading it..." Romanov stopped and I could almost feel my own temperature increasing.

I frowned at that.

Strange.

"Then she died."

~^~
The large proud castle gates came into view and I thought I heard everyone in the vehicle release a breath of sigh. What for, I did not know.

Was it because the large illuminated castle was — in a way, home. And home was always supposed to be a safe haven. Or were they seeing what I was seeing too?

We were coming to war.

This castle was a battlefield where Edika was winning. We couldn't see her. We didn't know how we could kill her. We didn't know when she could do what.

Seated in the car, watching the rest of the boys getting out of it, I knew that there was nowhere Romanov could go that she couldn't. And yet, I just wanted to run away, going anywhere but here.

My eyes trailed Romanov as he talked to a relieved looking Orik. Mr. Swiss — Romanov's manager — right behind Orik.

The rest of the car ride had been a quiet one. Every one of us were silent as we each mourned for Romanov. For ourselves, as we each thought about how wonderful and frightening the world could be at the same time. The rest of the car ride has been a very quiet one.

I looked back at my lap. My open palms stayed there, and I watched each line, randomly tracing the longest till the middle — where it stopped abruptly. It was the life line.

A sudden knock on the car window had me looking up startled, just as Romanov pulled the door open. He leaned inside the car and a gasp escaped my lips as he slipped his hands under me — without a delay scooping me up.

He began striding towards the castle entrance, Matthew and the rest of the men already making their way in.

The large door came closer and closer, and my gaze moved up to Romanov's serious ones looking ahead. A soft smile graced my lips as I watched him.

This oddly felt like something a husband would do to his newly wedded wife. Carrying her over the threshold.

He walked through the threshold and my eyes moved towards his chest. I hesitated, wondering whether he would feel awkward, then slowly moved the flat of my palm down until it rested right above his heart.

As I listened to the steady beat, I couldn't help but wonder if he too... loved me. Just even a little bit for the girl I was, and not just because we were soulmates.

"Is she hurt!?" Aunt Meryll rushed in as soon as we entered the grand living room, her hands outstretched as she almost swept towards us.

I smiled at the old woman's warmth and wondered if she too had a soulmate.

"Aunt Meryll! It won't be such a—" Matthew, alarmed, spoke up.

Aunt Meryll suddenly stopped. Her eyes widened as she watched Romanov and I. My eyes moved up and I cringed as I watched the unreadable expression on Romanov's face.

He had stopped a foot away from Aunt Meryl, just standing there, stiff, with me in his arms. I didn't know what he was looking for—what he was waiting for. It felt like he was waiting for something.

"Your scents have mixed." Aunt Meryll breathed, a large flattering grin taking hold of her expression as she moved towards us and then moved back.

"Since you're the crazier cousin — I take it your tolerance level is quite low right now."

A few minutes passed, and I felt him relax, his eyes found mine and he smiled softly, slowly letting me on the floor.

"Ello!" I beamed at everyone in the room, arms wide open. I began moving in toward Aunt Meryl when two arms wrapped around my waist and pulled me back. My arms still wide open, a confused expression now on my face.

"Oi! What's that for? She's a woman! She's your aunt!" I whispered, completely confused, and a little frustrated.

"I can't." Romanov muttered under his breath and I sighed.

That was it. His explanation. He couldn't.

Just then, Jay and Dom walked into the room — Marsha, Sophia and Rose moving in behind them with trays in their hands.

All five of them suddenly stopped. Their eyes widening. I cringed, knowing exactly what they too were figuring out.

"The only con of being my soulmate." Romanov whispered into my ear before he moved his hand towards mine and grasped it.

I scoffed. Grasping his shirt and pulling him down until I could whisper into his ear too. "You over credit yourself."

"Err well—I'll be going to my room now. I'll see you all later." Grayson cleared his throat as he waved awkwardly and began retreating from the embarrassing gathering of people now.

"Rome—we need to check the documents out." Matthew motioned towards the stairs, and I felt Romanov's hand tightening in mine.

I eyed him just in time to see him levelling his gaze with Matthews. Matthew rolled his eyes as he threw his hands up in the air.

"You're being paranoid! They're all just friends! Like us — with Thi! You don't see Alex kicking our ass, do you?"

Romanov growled under his breath, his eyes still on Matthew's.

"I know you're not Alex, but — come on!"

"Fine," he suddenly huffed, his hold on my hand loosening as he took a step away. I tightened my grip on his hand and I pulled him back. His head turned back, surprised.

Smiling, I ignored everyone else in the room as I let go of his hand and instead wrapped my arms around him. Tilting my head up I beamed at him as I pressed a peck on his chin. "Thank you!"

Still beaming, I moved back, watching as Romanov stood there, blinking before he shook his head. A whisper of a smile appeared on his lips as he turned around and joined Matthew, walking with him towards his office.

"Oli!"

I bit down a loud yelp as a pair of arms wrapped around me and twirled me around, trying to hide my giggles as I grabbed hold of Jaydin's now thicker arms.

"You've grown stronger," I commented as he finally put me down, beaming back at me with a large grin on his face.

"Yeah! How do I look?" He wiggled his eyebrows as he flexed his biceps, turning and modeling.

"Amazing!" I smiled as Dominic moved in to give me a hug.

"How is she?" He whispered slowly, and I felt myself sigh.

"How are you?" I whispered back. Dominic looked away, getting my answer. He looked back and shook his head.

"I'm sorry. Jaydin and I were just going upstairs... you should rest."

I nodded, looking down with my hands loose on my sides. I understood both my friends. And that was what was the terrible thing. I understood them both and therefore I could comfort neither of them in the way they wanted me to.

As the boys made their way towards the flight of stairs, I turned towards an awaiting opened armed Aunt Meryl. Her warm smile inviting me in to stay an extra minute in her embrace. She felt like family — which I suppose she was. Her tight warm embrace felt exactly like the ones my mum used to give me, the sort that mum inherited from Grandma Liz.

I smiled in the hug as I felt Aunt Meryl stroking my hair gently.

"He's a tough one to deal with now, isn't he?"

I brushed against her shoulder just as Aunt Meryl laughed knowingly.

"Should I move your belongings to Master Romanov's room then, miss?" Marsha asked in a hushed tone as she moved forward. My eyes moved towards the tea in her hand and to the girls still standing behind her.

I gave them a soft smile.

"I suppose I'll have to wait to clear that with him—"

"He'll definitely say yes, dear!" Aunt Meryl cut in and I found myself blushing again.

"I guess I'll begin moving my things to his tomorrow then."

"That sounds like a fair plan. Why don't you go and freshen up for tonight?" Aunt Meryl cupped my face with her hands as she smiled and me warmly — and I nodded in response, smiling back at the old woman.

"I suppose I should."

~^~
As the first rush of hot water hit my back, I almost let myself melt down to the tiled floor.

This room welcomed me back with wide arms as I found myself walking into it — my hand bag settled on the large bed I had only once used. A new pair of clothes placed beside my bag, I'd quickly found myself rushing towards the bathroom, knowing I needed what the long hot bath could provide.

It wasn't long till the heavens fell on me, the hot drops of water melted and kneaded my tensed muscles into pure calm and happiness.

I sighed as I lathered myself up with soap and began slowly running the washing sponge on my shoulder. Enjoying the feel of contentment, the sponge dragging along my almost numb skin.

Once the whole deed was done, I found myself taking as much time as I could, dressing myself up. My speed was quite visibly decreasing because I couldn't help but slowly give myself to the tiredness of traveling from London to Berlin.

Gurgling out the toothpaste and water, I wiped my face with a towel and, now dressed and brushed, began walking towards the bathroom door. My palm gripped around the cold knob and I sighed as I turned the door open, a small smile on my lips for no reason.

Moving towards the large bed, I quickly slipped under the quilt and tossed until I found a comfortable position. My hands reached for my bag, shuffling around until it found the soft case of my iPhone.

Turning the screen on, I moved towards the notification.

1 message.

From: Prue.

I shook my head as I chuckled to myself. Thanking the stars that I still had these people around me. A lot had been stolen from my life. But, I was still thankful for everyone who were here... who got to stay.

To: Prue.

To: Beasty

Turning on my tummy, I let out a content sigh and sunk my face into the soapy smell in the fluffy pillow. My eyes closing as the tiredness.

A sudden ping from my phone had me reaching out for it. I pat my hand over the bed until it touched my phone and I lifted my head up as I grabbed it and unlocked it.

"Mmhmm." I put my phone back and closed my eyes, snuggling into the bed. The low-lit lights of the large room gave me enough darkness to just lay there, enjoying the calm.

When coherent words turned into water coloured waves, when the dull light dimmed to pitch black — I didn't know. But soon Somnus found me, and I slowly surrendered into his arms, a temporary keep until my Beast came and took me.

The beginning stirrings of consciousness was a strange tingling. I tossed to my other side and flinched as the tingling increased, slowly and steadily until I began feeling it for what it was.

Heat.

Everything was hot. Groaning against the uneasiness, my hand found my neck and I noticed I was sweating. Immediately, my eyes snapped open.

My heart sunk in my chest.

Fire!

Everywhere!

The whole room was on fire!

Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God!

Large orange flames crackled as it continued to eat away everything. Dancing around the room like Satan, gnawing away at the curtains, the bed posts — while I sat frozen on the bed.

Panicking, I began hyperventilating. My head turned from side to side as I tried to think of how to get out. At least one way to get out.

Phone! Phone!

Looking frantically at my bed's side for my phone, I froze when I saw the black leathered book now placed on the bed. My bag and everything else missing.

I grasped the book, my wide eyes reading the name carved on the cover.

Property of E. Leightmonshtein.

Just then a flaming post from the bed gave away and I looked up just in time to watch it fall on me.

As pain took over while I stayed paralysed under the beam, I thought I heard a soft tumble of giggles while the fire grew brighter and my lifeline —smaller.