"Absence can do two things to love:

Make it stronger or allow you to pretend it never existed at all"-The Book of Secrets.

"Livy, I don't exactly understand how..."

Snapping my eyes away from a freshly bathed Letty as I secured her diaper, I looked up at Isabelle and cocked an eyebrow up.

"How what?"

Isabelle took a second, as if thinking how to place her question before she finally spoke, "How the royals are different from normal wolves."

A soft sad smile shadowed my lips and I quickly got back to getting little Lolette dressed.

The answer to the question was one I knew, but the memories that flowed with it left a slow longing in my chest as I remembered my precious hidden alcove in the library, my stacks of books still probably settled on a side of it.

It had been two days since Romanov and the boys had left, and while Grayson had come once, much to my surprise, none of the other two boys had showed up since they had gone.

"So, do you know anything about it?"

I blinked, my trail of thoughts dropping into oblivion in a second as I snapped my head towards Isabelle.

"The royals were the first beasts to appear, somewhere around a thousand eight hundred years ago, the specific origin is not specified, but theories move between genetic mutation to evolution. Early beasts have folklores too, but modern historians are ruling those out. That's fine by me, mostly because I find it personally quite distur—"

I stopped, my eyes widening as I immediately began shaking my head, seeing the sparkling curiosity in Isabelle's eyes.

"Oh no. I'm not going tell you any of those. Thank you, but no." I quickly warned her, shaking my finger in front of her face.

"Oh Livy plea—oh okay! But do continue!" Isabelle heaved out a dramatic sigh, giving up as she leaned forward on the bed, where she sat, and rested her chin above her hand.

The corners of my lips crinkled as I tried to hide out a smile, I nodded and slowly turned back to picking a happy Letty up from her changing table, quickly settling her in my arms.

"It's simple Issy, the royals are like... the original of their species. The normal werewolves came about from humans the first royals bit and changed. Initially they were all called Lycanthropes. But soon the term Werewolf came about and that's how both are differentiated now. The cycle in that manner, therefore, continued. Royals mated, with weres or royals or humans, and royals were born. Weres mated with humans or weres and weres were born."

Shifting towards my bed I settled in just beside Isabelle when an accomplished looking Abigail marched in, a feeding bottle full of milk, in her hand.

"But when royals or weres mate with humans, won't the babies be weaker? Because then don't the babies become half-bloods?" Isabelle frowned as she looked from Abigail to me.

"Well that's where we don't follow the key aspects of genetics. When Lycans or Weres mate with humans, it's fifty-fifty. Either the baby is human, or one of us. But mostly, it's one of us,"

Isabelle gasped, I turned just in time to see her excited grin. "Abigail...you?"

Handing the feeding bottle to me Abigail shot a grin at Isabelle as she joined us on the bed.

"Oh yeah, me."

"She'll fall asleep soon," Issy suddenly pointed out and I looked down at Letty to see her eyes already closing, the rubber tip still in her mouth.

I smiled, caressing the sleepy baby's chubby cheeks as she continued to feed from the bottle.

"Yeah, it's only seven, what do you guys want for dinner?"

"I'll make chicken five spice with rice and then we can watch a horror movie and bond?" Abigail excitedly suggested.

Isabelle and I groaned as we suddenly began looking around the room, already looking for something scary in the shadows.

"Yeah, I don't think I'm comfortable with that, really." Isabelle mumbled nervously, and I began nodding, agreeing frantically.

Abigail rolled her eyes as she looked from Isabelle and I. Snatching my sheepish gaze from hers I quickly looked down at Letty, and gently pulled the baby feeder out, wiping her mouth softly with a wipe before getting up and tucking her slowly into her crib, rocking it twice before Letty finally settled in for the night.

"And princess Letty is out, let's go get dinner ready." Abigail announced in a whisper, I put a thumb up in reply before grabbing the feeder and following the other two girls out of the room. Making sure to keep the door open, and the dim night lights on. 

The lush green fields of Italy played on the screen in front of us as all three of us sat on the couch and floor before the TV with bags of chips in our hands. Letters to Juliet just never got old.

Dinner was quickly done and had, chatters about the oncoming semester break brought out an excited conversation from both Isabelle and Abi about the manor Abi had gotten and how exciting the project was in general.

I couldn't help but fall into the pits of my thoughts again, my mind wondering how Romanov must be, aching a little because he hadn't even tried to contact me in the past two days before my mind fluttered to Dom and I almost hit my head with a spoon for the boy. He was clearly avoiding Isabelle. And seeing the hidden looks of hurt and embarrassment Isabelle quickly pushed away sometimes, I knew she knew it too.

Now sitting there watching one of the cute scenes, I couldn't help but feel a little agitated at Romanov and my situation. Almost wanting to call him and eternally humiliating myself by telling him that I wanted him to fight. Fight the curse as much as he fought with me, argued with me.

I just wanted him to fight for me.

"And you're lost again," Abigail suddenly spoke up and I blinked in my seat before turning towards her. Her face set in a 'Deny it. Deny it, fight me. Deny it!' expression.

Normally my first instincts were to deny it, but strangely this time, I just shrugged.

"I'm just thinking about Romanov," I admitted slowly, shrugging again after the sentence.

Issy at once moved up on the couch and out her arm around me, "Oh honey he'll be back before you know it. Everyone knows that. Even though I don't know why the guy is so angry about this."

Beside me Abigail shrugged, "Alpha's don't usually take it to their mate's thinking they would be safer without their presence, and he is an Alpha King! Double that possessiveness, please."

Isabelle turned towards us, wide eyed and I felt the corners of my lips turn up when a piece of chips fell out of her mouth.

"That sounds awesome!" she exclaimed surprised as she picked the chips back up and shoved it into her mouth.

"Not exactly when you're at the receiving end of it and they get mad at you, Issy." I grumbled, shoving my fistful of chips into my mouth too.

"Girl, we can do a bit of a shopping at the boutique tomorrow, Wendy the nanny will be here, so we can get you a bit of shopping therapy after our shift is over, how about that?" Abigail suggested lightly, and I chuckled as I nodded, Isabelle at once clapping her hands excitedly.

"I like how you've titled her, Wendy the nanny." Issy giggled and I followed soon after. It was true, Abigail had a knack for titling every random human being she met. And often times, it was hilarious.

When the giggling stopped and we all calmed down, we slowly realized that between all our talking the movie had ended and the credits were now rolling in.

"Well I guess it's time for 13 going 30." Abigail announced and the rest of us two turned towards her, smiling, because we had all first watched it together, on my thirteenth birthday.

Those were the good days. I smiled as the memories of my mother's sweet smile fluttered before me, and my father's warm comforting hugs. Eyes turning foggy I began blinking my eyes, trying harder to keep the tears at bay.

Yes, those were the good days. 

~^~
I was tired.

Noticing the change in my mood while watching the second movie, both the girls had spent almost the other half the movie trying to cheer me up and getting my mind off of everything. Half an hour into their efforts and we were all laughing and jumping around.

The grandfather clock down the hallway dinged twelve and I let out a small yawn as I got myself into the bathroom and quickly finished the before bed ritual before getting out and shoving my pants and baggy shirt away and getting into the bed only in a tank top and knicker on. As comfortable as I ever could be.

It seemed like endless minutes of just lying there thinking about everything before sleep finally decided to pay a visit, wrapping his dizzying arms around me as I finally began to close my eyes and lose myself into the comforting darkness.

Something moved.

And then, again.

I stilled as the blurry wooziness began to slowly disappear and consciousness began to crawl my way.

Something moved again, low and dragging, and I realized that it was the large window in my room, the slow sound of dragging was probably from it being opened.

The almost whisper of a thud of something dropping on the floor caught my ear and I froze in bed, thinking of reaching for my iPhone as quickly as I could.

The fear of it being a thief, a murderer dropped down on me in an onslaught and I couldn't help but begin to breath crazily, praying I could get help faster than I could get killed. My mind on little Letty just beside me. I began panicking.

"You're awake."

My hand already under the pillow beside me, grabbing my phone, I froze.

Romanov.

"I can hear your heart beating like you're running a marathon,"

I gulped, trying to calm myself down.

Slowly, I began turning towards the window and watched as the large shadow before me stood by the window for a minute before it began moving towards me.

"Why are you here now?" I whispered, not knowing what else to ask him first.

"My beast was on the edge, I couldn't take it anymore." Romanov admitted after a moment of silence, his tone cold and troubled. I flinched at the irritation in his confession.

Reaching for the table lamp on my side I quickly turned on the dull light. My eyes settling on the large body of the shirtless man standing by the foot of my bed. My eyes widened slightly when I noticed his hair pulled back and tired into a messy attempt of a half pony tail, slight locks of hair falling against his sharp cheekbones.

His dark eyes shined like two black pools of marbles in the low golden light and I watched as he waited silently, at the foot of my bed for my reaction.

What now?

After a minute of silence passed I finally sighed, then turned around on my side to face away from Romanov, reaching out to turning the lamp off. I waited.

Slowly after a minute, the slow drag of his feet sounded in the silence and I breathed out a breath I didn't even known I was holding, as I felt the bed beside me dent.

As quickly as Romanov got into bed, I turned over to his side and edged closer to him, resting my head on his chest as I threw my left leg slightly over his.

I missed him, and I was beyond it to find this shameful, I didn't even care. It was strange, but I just wanted to be close to him.

Romanov stilled under me and I held my breath as I waited for him to push me away, a soft smile curved its way on my lips when his hand slowly slid around my waist. I felt him still again when his hand brushed against the waistband of my knickers.

"What are you wearing?" He suddenly hissed, his voice low and startled.

Just then a soft tap on my bedroom's door sounded and both Romanov and I turned towards it.

The soft tap sounded again, and I turned to look at Romanov again for a second before slowly getting out of bed and making my way across the bedroom to the door.

"Hey. Err... maybe I should take Letty?" Abigail whispered, her brown and blond curly hair pulled up into a bun as she stood outside my door in her pyjama's.

Turning around to watch Letty fast asleep in her crib I blushed, then nodded.

Striding towards Letty's crib in the dark I slowly picked her up in my arms, bouncing her a little as she let out a little-irritated cry. When she calmed I slowly picked her things and walked back to the door.

"Sorry," I apologised as I handed Letty over to Abi. I watched as she blushed a little before shaking her head.

"It's okay, I just didn't want her to wake up, I'll just listen to music until I fall asleep, so that you know... I don't hear your conversation." Abigail mumbled with a smile on her face.

I nodded, feeling absolutely stupid at not thinking about Abigail's super hearing.

"Take care of her, if there's something, let me know, please." I whispered quickly, leaning down to press I kiss on Lolette's forehead.

I didn't exactly feel like letting Letty go, but I knew that if she were in the same room as Romanov and me tonight, she was sure to wake up, I had a lot of arguing to do.

"I will," Abigail smiled, before sending a wink my way, turning around, and walking away.

I stayed by the door for a minute before slowly closing it shut and locking it by habit.

Turning around I almost froze in my steps when I realised Romanov was now standing just three steps away from me, the dim decorative lights were on.

He took a step forward. Then another. And another. Another.

Soon enough we stood a step away and my breath hitched when his eyes on mine, his hands found the waistband of knickers and he pulled me towards him.

"Why did it have to be you?"

I froze against his whisper, my frowning face turned up towards his.

"Why couldn't it have been someone I could actually re..."

He frowned, stopping mid-sentence as his right hand found my cheek and he sighed.

Reject?

"You want to reject me? Now?" I tried to take a step back. My wide wild eyes suddenly full of furious anger.

"Olivia," Romanov whispered slowly, a sigh leaving his lips as he tried to say something else.

I couldn't take it anymore; Dominic's tale blew into my mind and I flinched. It was true then, soulmates barely meant anything nowadays. Fighting? It was of no use.

"Do it. Reject me. Just go ahead." I spoke out loud, my firm voice ringing around the dark room, somewhere in the house I heard a something tumble to the floor and I sighed. Abigail.

"I'm not rejecting you, Olivia." Romanov suddenly snarled, his tone just as loud as mine.

I turned away.

"Do it. You might as well just do it. I mean, you'd rather keep ignoring this—" I motioned between us, "—then fight a dead crazy woman. Besides, you did want to—AHH!"

A loud yelp left my lips as he suddenly bent down and scooped me up into his arms. Storming his way to the bed he dropped me down on it, I shut my eyes close as I bounced on the bed. Immediately his warm large form pressed against me.

"Does this tell you I want to reject you?" He whispered coldly.

Looking up into his eyes in the dim light, my breath hitched in my throat as the magnificent golden glow of his eyes. I looked away. "No, but it does tell me that you want to scare me."

Instantly a shudder ran down my spine as he began grinning, the sharp canines of his teeth making an intimidating appearance.

"Oh yeah?" He leaned forward and brushed his lips against my cheek, "Does this tell you I want to reject you?"

"No, that just tells me you like touching me,"

Disappointingly his grin widened, and he hid his face against my neck, slowly nipping at a sensitive spot just under my earlobe, "I touch you, Olivia, because you're mine. Trust me when I say, I wouldn't have marked you if I wanted to reject you."

"I would have died if you didn't mark me, Rome, you only did it to save my life."

Above me Romanov stilled, moving back his golden eyes found my brown ones and he frowned.

"What?" I asked, frowning, myself, at the sudden change of his expression.

"You called me Rome,"

My eyes widened, and I sighed, "I guess I did."

Romanov suddenly let out a small smile, and I felt my heart skip a beat. "I like it,"

I frowned, immediately realizing that he had actually change the topic quite expertly.

"Oh, and Olivia? —" My eyes snapped to his, his serious expression caught me off-guard. "—I'd mark you right now if you'd let me. The proper way."

My breath hitched in my throat and I almost choked on my saliva. I knew exactly what he meant by 'the proper way'. I had read a chapter about Marking's in Royals vs Were's, only just a week ago. I felt my face heat at his implication and I quickly looked away, making Romanov chuckle, amused at my reaction.

"Sometimes, you make me want to hate you so much." I admitted, huffing out the words as I turned away from him, tired of us just dancing around in circles.

Romanov moved off of me and took his side, quickly wrapping his arm around me as he pulled me against him, I felt his chest move against my cheeks as he let out a sigh. "And do you?"

This time, I sighed.

"No, and that's what I sometimes hate the most, that I can't hate you at all."

~^~
The absence of Romanov's heavy warm arms around me was the first thing that registered into my mind when morning broke, and so did my sleep.

I was a little disappointed, but really, I hadn't exactly expected him to stay. Leaving before I actually woke up was honestly a very normal thing to see Romanov do.

Getting out of bed, tidying it up, getting into the bathroom and freshening up seemed like an almost robotic series of actions, my mind however kept replaying last night, almost to a point where I realised I could almost be over analysing things.

Sighing, I walked down to the kitchen instead, quickly settling onto a high chair by the kitchen island as I watched a smiling Isabelle slide a tray of cookies into the oven.

"Morning!" Isabelle chirped, her brown wavy hair pulled up into a messy French twist. The bright yellow sundress she had decided to wear today blending perfectly with the Prue's kitchen.

"Morning, up so early?" I asked, regretting it instantly because I already knew the answer.

Isabelle looked up from the chicken breasts she was now preparing to grill and smiled. "It's become a habit, you know that. Waking up and making breakfast for Juliana and Mumma has sort of transitioned from being a chore to becoming a habit. After all, I love baking and cooking. It's not so bad anymore."

Hearing the two names Isabelle and I had spent years muttering bitterly over I Immediately had a sour look on my face as I placed my hand over Issy's. "Why don't you move out Issy, you're twenty for god's sake! It's about time."

Isabelle sighed as she slipped her hand from under mine, "I'm going to do just that, first I need to find an apartment to rent out."

I rolled my eyes and leaned forward, grabbing an apple from the island. "You can always rent in one of mine, think about it!"

The look of surprise smattering over Isabelle's face made me smile and taking a bite of the apple, I turned around towards the kitchen entryway, "I'll just go and check up on Letty, okay? Thanks for making breakfast, Issy."

My smile however turned into a grin when reaching the stairs another yell came from the kitchen, "No problems, the Scones will be out in a bit!"

Scones had always been Isabelle's favourite.

Reaching the top of the stairs I had turned just in time to see a sheepishly smiling Abigail walking out of her room, a quiet Letty in her arms.

"Good morning," she winked at me, grinning as she reached me and let Letty into my arms.

I cocked an eyebrow up as I watched my best friend walking beside me, looking like a Cheshire cat.

The doorbell dinged downstairs and Abigail grinned at me, seeing an exit as she quickened her pace and speeded downstairs, yelling a "I'll get it!" before she fled.

"Good morning Wendy," I smiled at the nineteen-year-old journalism first-year students in our university and me across the street neighbour. "Are you sure you're up to babysitting Letty today? Nowhere to be? Classes?"

The tall, strawberry blonde girl in front of me smiled as she shook her head, at once walking towards me as she took Letty from my arms. "Nope, I am completely free today."

I smiled and nodded, "Well okay, you're welcome to have breakfast with us, we'll be gone today, Abi and I have a shift at the Boutique and then we'll take my other best friend Isabelle around the city, she's from back home. You can order pizza if you want, we might be back by six, call me if something's wrong okay?"

Wendy nodded politely before she began taking Letty upstairs, I watched the two as Wendy continued to walk up the stairs.

"I don't trust nanny's one bit, especially the young ones." Abigail scoffed beside me as she whispered out her views, beside me.

"You watch crime shows a little too much, Abs." I sighed as we walked into the kitchen, moaning as the aroma of grilled chicken, biscuits, salad and baked scorns and cookies reached our senses.

"If I were a guy, I'd marry you." Abigail sighed dreamily as she took a seat beside me and Issy giggled in response.

Soon enough all conversations ceased momentarily as all three of us tucked in, and I began eating the homiest breakfast I had had in a while. Mum had taught Isabella how to cook and bake after all. 

~^~
"Berlin is so historically rich and beautiful!" Isabelle sighed for the hundredth time as we put all the shopping bags into the boot of my car and got in.

"You've said that a hundred times already Issy," Abigail groaned as she got into the back of the car. Isabelle decided to take the front passenger's seat.

"Hey Liv, how's your journal coming along?" Abigail suddenly asked, and I heard myself groan, the sudden realization of the laptop that held the journal actually being in at the castle.

"Damn it, it's in the castle," I grumbled tiredly and immediately both my best friends straightened in their seats, looking at me eagerly. I began shaking my head adamantly, my eyes on the time, showing in the car. There was no way I was going to that castle at this hour. It was almost six-thirty, we were late and Wendy had to go home.

"Sorry guys, we're late. Driving there would almost take thirty minutes. And back, an hour. We have to get home now."

"How about you tell one of the boys to bring it over?" Isabelle suddenly suggested, and I at once knew who she secretly was speaking about.

My eyes found hers in the review mirror and she quickly looked away.

"Okay," I agreed slowly, Isabelle was feeling the mate bond, and I was sure that if I tried I could help Dominic and Isabelle a little bit.

He picked up on the second ring. His voice deep and gruff, slightly guarded, as if almost tired.

"Olli?"

"Hey," I greeted him softly.

"Is everything all right?" Dom asked, sounding slightly concerned, his deep voice rang around car and all three of us girls listened as he spoke, intently.

I sighed, sensing Isabelle listening, beside me.

"Erm... actually Dom I needed a huge favor." I mumbled slowly, waiting for him to respond.

A soft rustling sounded from the other side of the line and I blinked waiting for Dom to reply, the jiggle of what seemed like keys came through the line before Dom spoke again.

"I've got my car keys in my hand, what's up?"

I almost reached through the line and hugged the sweet man. "Could you get me my laptop please? It has my project journal and I can't come over because the nanny is waiting for us and we're late."

"Sure, no worries Olli, I'll see you in Thirty-five." He replied, his voice a little lighter.

"Thanks, you're amazing you know that?"

A deep chuckle rang around the car and Abigail swooned in the back seat, I rolled my eyes at her mischievousness.

"I know I'm amazing, amongst other things."

My eyes widened when Isabelle scoffed, and muttered a low, "Narcissist"

"What was that?" Dom suddenly spoke up, his voice serious again.

"Nothing! I'll see you in thirty-four then! Thanks again Dom!" I quickly chirped up, sounding as excited as I could while throwing Isabelle a glare.

Disconnecting the call, I turned to Isabelle, a serious look on my face.

"What was that about?" I demanded.

Isabelle on their other hand just shrugged, looking away. "I just think he is not as nice with everyone else as he is with you."

"Girl, you jealous?" Abigail butted in and I looked at Isabelle, trying to see if it was really that.

Isabelle shook her head as she sighed and finally slumped in her seat. "No. It's just that I don't know what it is but that day when you guys came to pick me up, I felt drawn to him, I feel drawn to him. And he didn't even acknowledge my existence. It's just an unrequited crush I guess."

'Or they're mates' Jiminy scoffed and I almost nodded in agreement.

"Let's just get home, okay?" I smiled softly as I started the ignition and began driving out of the parking lot.

"Thanks for doing this, Dom" I spoke out gratefully, putting the laptop bag onto the table and smiling at the man standing in front of me.

Isabelle sat on the sofa just a few steps to the left with Letty in her arms as she pretended to watch the TV.

Abigail sat just in front of her, rolling her eyes, looking from Isabelle to Dominic.

"It's all right. —" Dominic stopped and turned towards Isabelle, I watched as she stilled in her seat. Turning towards me with sad eyes Dom pushed out a small smile, "—I guess I should be going now."

"I'll walk you to your car," I agreed, walking behind him as he walked out into the night air.

The door closed behind us and I reached out to grab Dom's hand. Stopping him in his steps.

"Why are you doing this?" I asked him softly, his hand hardened under my touch and I knew he knew what I was talking about.

"She looks like Emily," he finally admitted.

"So? You do know that you're soulmates, don't you?"

Sighing Dominic turned towards me and my breath hitched in my throat when his eyes shone back at me dark golden.

"Do you think I don't know that! I know that! I know that! She feels like my soulmate, but Olivia! I had a soulmate! She looks exactly like her! She looks like Emily! She sounds like Emily! Her hair is like Emily's! Every single time I look at her... I see Emily! It's like she's her doppelgänger! Olli, If I do accept her, all she'll ever be is a mirror reflection. Emily's shadow."

"D—"

The loud crash of a glass smashing on the ground caught both Dominic and I off-guard. Both our head snapped towards the source of the noise and I gasped as I watched a wide-eyed, tearing Isabelle standing outside.

"Issy—" I called out desperately as I tried to walk towards her but stopped when turning around Isabelle ran right back into the house.

Immediately I turned back to the man who still stood there, his blank eyes on the door. I gasped when I realized what he had just done.

"You knew, didn't you!? You knew she was listening! How could you Dom! How could you just do this to her?!" I screamed as I marched towards him, shoving my fist into his chest.

Instantly his hand grabbed at both my hands and he pulled me against him, wrapping his arms tightly around me.

"I had to," he whispered slowly, and I immediately stilled. The sadness in his voice seemed almost paralyzing. "I can't let her live the rest of her life thinking she's just a second pick. That she looks like a girl who I wanted. How do you think that is fair on anyone? How do you think anything can survive on that? I've given her a chance to live her life, Olli. It's for the best. You'll see."

I watched as the red Lamborghini reversed out of the driveway and instantly drove away. Shaking my head when I thought about what had just happened.

I had to...

"Or maybe you're just afraid, Dom. Or maybe you're just afraid."