38 | THE RECOLLECTION

It was working. Hoseok's tour through places of our past effectively sparked my memories, and with every returned piece, my feelings for him deepened.

He led me first to an old park where we used to race across the field together. Sometimes Jungkook came too, but that field was special to Hoseok and me just like the ragged treehouse was special to Jungkook and me. My favorite memory from this spot, out of the many that came back to me, was the time we were on the swings in the corner of the park.

"You're going to freeze if you don't put this on," Hoseok proclaimed as he tried again to wrap his jacket around me. I was on the swing and he stood in front of me, preventing my good time. Dots of snow clung to his lashes.

"Hoseok. I am perfectly fine. Just because I'm a girl doesn't mean I need a jacket more than you do!"

The boy with the bandanna shook his head. "That's not it, Jangmi! I just... I stay warmer than normal, so I don't need it. But you're shivering—"

"Am not," I denied, but his eyes narrowed instantly.

"Are too! Quit being so stubborn."

After wearing a short pout, another burst of nipping wind sent a shiver through me. "Okay, fine. But I'm only wearing it for your sake, not mine."

Hoseok's eyes curved from a smile I couldn't see. He stood closer and helped me slip my arms through the sleeves. When he was done, I reached out and placed my palm on his forehead, to which his eyes widened and his body froze.

"You really do stay warm, huh?" I said, moving my hand to feel the side of his neck too. Also warm. "I guess if my hands ever get cold I can just do this," I said happily, resting both hands at the back of his neck.

"Are—Are they cold now?" he asked quietly, eyes still alert and nervous, darting between my own. The tops of his cheeks peeking above the black cloth on his face were tinted pink. Our faces were pretty close, and I could see all the special shades of yellow and gold in his gaze.

"Yeah," I nodded and pulled him closer, "So let's stay like this for a while longer. Until they're all warm."

Hoseok blinked a few times, then he whispered, "Okay."

"You were so cute," I laughed as the two of us presently sat on the same swings. It was poetic, really, considering it was another freezing winter day—light snow and all.

Hoseok glanced at me from his own swing, then let out a faint scoff. "Cute," he muttered as if the word was utterly ridiculous.

"Would you prefer totally adorable?" I grinned, using my feet to keep the swing moving the slightest bit. Hoseok's eyes narrowed, and I gasped when he suddenly stood a breath in front of me, his hands gripping the chains at either side of my head to stop me from moving.

"I'm not cute." His voice came out low, almost rough, as one warm hand gripped my chin to angle my face up at him. "And I most definitely am not adorable."

Whenever this dominant side of his made an appearance, my muscles turned to limp noodles. Thank goodness I'm sitting down—Hoseok leaned closer, his eyes soaking mine in—and thank goodness he's wearing his mask so I don't have to worry about yet another method of Jangmi-annihilation.

I swallowed, choosing (unwisely) to push his buttons further and see how he'd react. My finger tapped the part of his mask where his nose was. "Fine, you're not cute or adorable. You're just absolutely darling."

Before I could fully retract my hand, he grabbed it and entwined his fingers with mine. Then he found my other hand and did the same, and my heart soared as he lifted my arms and placed our locked fingers on the chains above my head.

"I may be wearing a mask, but my hands are perfectly free," he spoke with a quiet calm that sent a blazing shudder down my spine. "Don't make me use them."

Well, son of a biscuit.

"What happened to the sweet boy who offered me his jacket to protect against the cold?" I asked breathlessly.

He chuckled. "You're already bundled up, Sunshine. But if you're still cold—"

"I'm good."

A pause, and then, "I guess I don't care." In the next moment, he removed his hands from mine and hooked them under my knees instead, guiding my legs to wrap around his waist. Then he straightened out, and I clung to him as he carried me across the snowy field and back to the parking lot. I savored every second of our closeness and his warmth.

The car clicked open and Hoseok set me down. I rushed to slide into the passenger seat, cranking the heater as soon as the car started up.

"And you tried to tell me you weren't cold," he laughed under his breath.

As he began driving, I had a thought. "Hoseok, shouldn't I stay warm like you? I mean, because of my power."

"That's... I don't think we work the same," he said, eyes trained on the road. "Your power was inherited to stay hidden and protected from the Bul-Gae. It wants to stay dormant as much as possible. But mine is the opposite. It wants to grow, to consume. So the effects of mine are a lot harder to hide, I think."

That seemed right, and it worried me. If my power would remain mostly dormant, it wouldn't be much help against The Hood. And how could I ever learn to control something that seemed to have a will of its own in the first place? The winter showcase was in two weeks. The Masquerade was the following evening. Time was running out, which was why remembering everything I possibly could was so important.

The next stop Hoseok brought me to was the old building where I used to take ballet lessons as a kid—the same place where I remembered teaching him how to dance. The door was open, so we walked in and passed by multiple studio rooms filled with little girls practicing barre techniques. At the end of the hall, there was one empty studio, and Hoseok was sure to check that nobody was around before sliding the door open and pulling me in behind him.

It was there, while he swept me close and guided me into a soft dance, that I regained the last of our ballet memories together. Twice a week, after my lessons were over, Hoseok would be waiting for me in the unoccupied studio next door. We would laugh and goof off at times, but he knew when to stay concentrated, and he always took my advice to heart.

"Dance was my only outlet," whispered Hoseok as he raised his arm and brought me into a twirl. I came back into him and his hand rested on my hip, then we were swaying casually to the music of our own heartbeats. "I always felt like I was fighting down my abilities and masking every instinct to not be found out. But when I met you here and you taught me, I was finally able to relax and express a fraction of what I felt inside. It was a release from all the stress and constant tension."

"I'm glad it could do that for you," I said as my head rested on his chest. "I'm glad I could help with that."

"I'm surprised at how easily it's all coming back to you now. I thought it would take more, since they were only flashes for a while," Hoseok mumbled as he trailed a finger up my spine. We'd taken our coats off, so I was left in jeans and a loose tee that was thin enough for me to feel the full impact of his touch.

I let out a breath. "I think location helps more than anything. And sound. I've remembered things a few times just from someone saying a similar thing in the past. That's how Jungkook helped me remember him for the first time."

At the mention of his brother, I noticed his grip on my waist tighten. My eyes found his—alight but distant.

"Hey...You know you have nothing to worry about with me and Jungkook, right?"

He snapped back to the present and nodded. "I just know how much... You mean as much to him as you do to me."

"And he means as much to me as you do, too. Just not in the same way."

"But it is that way for him. And after I—" he stopped short.

I wrapped my arms around his neck with a frown. "After you what?"

"After I wiped your memory of us..."

"Hoseok, he knows why you did what you did. It hurt him, but he understands. And he's accepted that I don't return his feelings, too. You can't keep holding onto this guilt or you'll never feel at ease with us being together."

Hoseok groaned, lowering his forehead to my shoulder. "I know. I just... How is it fair? I'm the big bad wolf that stole his brother's happiness away from him, then got the girl in the end despite everything."

"Jungkook loves you. You might not believe it, but I know him and I know it's true. One day, you'll know it too."

Truthfully, I still felt a twinge in my chest at the thought of Jungkook. It wasn't guilt—I knew staying true to my heart was the wisest and kindest thing to do. But I felt for him. He became as important to me as Hoseok and Jimin, and the last thing I wanted was to see him in pain. My hope was that the brothers would reconcile sometime soon so the two of them could heal.

"I guess we'll see," Hoseok said quietly as he straightened up. Our eyes met and I smiled, waiting to see the lifting of his cheeks to know he was smiling back. "Ready for the next stop?" he asked as we continued dancing loosely.

"One last spin." Rising on my toes, I let Hoseok lead me into another twirl, but at the last second my socks slid against the floor and I lost my footing. The next thing I knew, the back of my head hit the ground and splitting pain pounded against my skull.

"Shit! Are you okay?" Hoseok was on the floor beside me in a blink, carefully leaning over me, eyes darting all over. He kept on talking, but his voice sounded far away as my vision waned to something else—another memory.

It was quick and blurry, but a shadowed figure leaned over my body as I was lying down, his hands holding the back of my head with his fingers threading my hair. His face was so close that I could feel his breath, his heat, but his features were... blacked out, just like the third boy in that other memory had been. He whispered something in my ear, but I couldn't make it out before Hoseok's voice filtered back in and the memory drifted away.

"Jangmi, please say something. I need to know you're alright."

I groaned and sat up, looking at his concerned face. "Last time I try that in only socks."

He wasn't amused. "I should've caught you. How is your head? Do you feel dizzy?"

"No, no, I'm fine," I assured him, though a small wave of pain still throbbed at the back of my skull.

"Are you sure?" He frowned and gently held my cheek. "I can drive you to urgent care to get you checked out. You could have a concussion."

"I think I just want to sit and drink some water. I'll speak up if I feel any problems, okay?"

Begrudgingly, he agreed to walk me to his car, where he handed me a bottle of water and reminded me again to tell him if I felt that anything was off. I promised I would, and as he drove us to the next destination of our past, my mind drifted back to the flash of the third boy—The Hood, possibly before he became so twisted. I could still feel the phantom touch of his fingers, so soft that I struggled to believe it was really the same person. Even the murmur of his voice was sweet, almost timid, and though I couldn't make out the words, I could feel that what he said was something that made me... happy.

The fact that the third boy was also my friend was nothing new to me. I'd known as much since the first time I saw his faceless figure in the memory beside Jungkook and Hoseok. The brothers had told me as much too—that the three of them knew me and cared about me as I did them. But whatever this moment was that I saw... it felt more intimate than anything else I'd remembered, and that was terrifying.

Just what did the third boy mean to me?

Hoseok took us to a few more stops, all of which contained small, precious memories of the two of us. Once they started, it was like a rolling wave that continued to swell without ceasing, and I recalled nearly everything by the end of the day. A few included Jungkook, which I hadn't yet remembered. Others were just us—me taking him through shopping centers, farmer's markets, dragging him to the movie theater. Little things I'd done to help him experience friendship in the way he never had before. To help him feel normal and forget for a while the stares that followed him, the isolation that plagued him.

My efforts with Hoseok encouraged Jungkook to be closer to him too. His classmates had started to convince him to see his brother differently, but I managed to pull him out of that before it could go too far. He started tagging along more and more often with us without much jealousy, though he still made a point to hang out with me alone sometimes.

At some point, the anonymous third boy joined us too. Hoseok introduced us, and then he was just... there. Part of our little family, sharing in the simple times we had together. Each memory with him was foggier than the rest, and anything that would've given away his identity remained muffled and unclear. But it was enough for me to see how kind he was and how close he became to us. To me.

When the memories stopped coming, Hoseok began to drive me back to campus. The snow had quit falling and the sky had cleared, so I admired the vibrant pinks and oranges of the sunset as we sped down the highway.

"And you're sure you can't see anything identifiable about him? Maybe even just his voice?" Hoseok asked as I told him how much I remembered.

"I'm sure. I can see you and Jungkook clearly, but he's just a blacked out presence. But he... meant something to us, right?"

Hoseok glanced at me before staring back at the road. The orange sunlight filtered through the window, leaving a soft glow over his cheekbones and brightening his auburn hair. His jaw was set and his brows were drawn together. "He was important to me. That's why I introduced him to you and Jungkook. But I never would've done so if I knew he'd become a danger to you the way he did."

I continued to watch his profile. "It's just... You made a point of not having friends before you met me. Could you sense that he was like you? Is that why you became his friend?"

"That's... You said the flashes involving him are blurrier, right? I think his presence is still blocking some of your memories. I haven't told you because it's something you already knew before. If you can just remember, you'll understand why he was with me."

A sigh left my lips as I pulled my hair back. I rested my head against the seat and closed my eyes, summoning all the puzzle pieces of moments with the third boy. I focused in on that void of a face, on the murmur of his indistinct voice, on his scent—the familiar smell of forest that Hoseok so often held—and there it was.

Forest, trees crept into the corners of my mind, filling the empty space until I was standing in the woods again. Jungkook was beside me and holding my hand, and Hoseok was standing in front of me, so much like the night we had not long ago. But this was different. We were younger, and the third boy stood behind Hoseok, hunched over and growling and groaning in pain.

"Jangmi, let's go!" Jungkook kept yelling as he tugged on my arm, but I wouldn't budge.

"Hoseok, what's happening to him? Is he okay?" I asked as tears streamed over my face. I slipped out of Jungkook's grasp and stepped closer. The boy wailed out in pain again, and I let out a sob. "We have to help him!"

Hoseok's eyes gleamed bright orange as he glared at me. I stumbled back at his appearance and the deepness in his voice. "I'll help him, Jangmi, so please just go! It's not safe for you here!"

Jungkook wrapped his arms around me from behind. "Come on, you weren't supposed to see this."

"JANGMI!" the unknown boy screamed my name, and though the sound frightened me, I knew he must've been far more afraid than I was.

I fought against Jungkook and sobbed again, trying to reach out to the boy as he fell to the floor. I had to help him, he needed my help—he needed me.

Hoseok crouched down beside him and held his shoulders, uttering words that were too low for me to hear. He snapped his head back to yell at his brother, "GET HER OUT OF HERE!"

The memory skipped abruptly to later that same night.

"How could you just leave them there? They needed us!" I shouted at Jungkook. He'd brought me back to his house, the forest bordering their entire neighborhood. They were still nearby, but far enough that I couldn't hear the wailing we left behind.

"Jangmi, please keep your voice down," Jungkook whispered, placing his hands on my cheeks. He stared into my eyes sincerely. "They will be okay, but you have to listen to me right now. Hoseok is different. They both are, and I think you know that. Especially after what you saw."

"It doesn't matter! He was in pain, Jungkook."

"Sshh," he soothed, "It's been improving for him. He's in a lot less pain than he was at the beginning. You being there just... it made them both worked up, so they had less control and it hurt more."

"I don't understand," I said through tears that Jungkook soon wiped away. "What are they? What was happening to them?"

Jungkook struggled to find words. "Uh... You know about werewolves, right—"

"WEREWO—"

His hand clamped over my mouth to shut me up. "I said keep your voice down!" he whisper-shouted. "They're not werewolves. But it's a... similar concept. They have some powers and those powers can get flared up sometimes. And when they get too worked up, they can transition—"

"Transition?" I echoed quietly, eyes wide. "Is that what was hurting him?"

Jungkook nodded. "Yeah, he's still kind of new to everything, so it still hurts him. Hoseok has experienced it enough that it doesn't really bother him anymore, and soon he'll be like that too. Hoseok has been helping him."

I'd always known that Hoseok was different, I just never thought it would be something so supernatural. But somehow, it only made me want to protect him—both of them—even more.

"Were they born that way?"

Jungkook's stare lingered on me, his eyes scanning my face carefully. Then he scoffed. "Of course you're just accepting this. Leave it to you to be fine with all the shit that just went down. Weirdo," he muttered before ruffling my hair.

"Knock it off!" I swatted his hand away. "Just explain. I'm part of this friend group so it's only fair that you let me in on all this."

He sighed and laid back on his bed, patting the spot next to him. I followed suit, trying to trust that Hoseok had everything under control.

"Yeah, Hoseok was born that way. But..."

The memory began fading, but I held on just long enough to hear Jungkook explain how the third boy came under the curse of the Bul-Gae.

"Hoseok didn't mean to. He never would've done it on purpose, but his bite... it gave his abilities to him too. That's why they're the same."

My eyes opened and fell on Hoseok. "I remember," I said, noticing his grip on the steering wheel shift. "You..."

A bitter smile tugged at his mouth when he looked at me.

"I'm his maker. I'm the reason he is what he is today."

• • •

A/N:
Hello, lovelies! Welcome back to Beastly Beauty! I want to sincerely thank you for returning despite the long wait. To be quite honest, the first month I went without updating was truly because I was busy finishing up the school year (had a big project to complete over the summer) and then I was off on a week long road trip with some friends! But the past few weeks, I simply felt stuck. Maybe being away and then coming back made it difficult to pick the story back up, or maybe I have been pushing off this burnout for a while. Either way, it took me much longer to find my groove again and I did not want to force my writing. But now it's back, and I really am hoping to update consistently and get this book completed soon!

That being said, I hope you could enjoy this chapter. Just one more chapter to learn more about this supposed hunter society with Yoongi, Namjoon, and Taehyung, and then we'll dive into the winter showcase and the masquerade ball!! Are you excited? Maybe both?

We known essentially all of Hoseok and Jangmi's past together now. Weren't they the cutest?

And what are we thinking of the third boy/The Hood when he was younger? What did he mean to Jangmi and how exactly did he become so evil?

I'll see you guys soon! Thanks so much for the amazing patience and support you've shown me. You're awesome.

Your eager-to-finish-this-story-for-you author,
Kat ❤️

September 23, 2021