37 | THE PROMISE

Hoseok had decided to make good on his promise of helping me remember our past, and the first part of doing so was taking me to the beach—the same one Jungkook brought me near on the night when he drove me to the cliffside and first jogged my memory of him.

Rather than going up the hills, Hoseok took me out to the sand and led me close to the shore. The sky was crystal blue, a sharp breeze carrying the ocean scent and drifting strands of red hair across my face. His hand held mine securely enough to make me wonder if he thought I might disappear soon.

"Why are we here? Did we used to go to the beach together?" I spoke between the sound of the rolling waves and the wind.

But Hoseok didn't respond—didn't even turn his head to face me. He kept looking out at the horizon where the dark, grey-blue sea bled into the lighter shades of the sky.

The waves crashed and the tide came up to our feet. I let out a short gasp at the freezing water as it met my skin, then glanced down to find that my feet were bare.

When did I take my shoes off?

Glancing up again, I jolted at the now slate-colored sky and raging black clouds. My hand instinctively went to find Hoseok's, and I squeezed his gloved palm as a bolt of lightning struck the water before us. Ear-splitting thunder cracked above, and I turned to find those golden eyes but was met instead by a hooded void.

I tried to rip my hand away, but his iron grip didn't allow it. I locked my jaw as he cocked his head to the side, that ominous and distorted chuckle pricking goosebumps over my skin.

"Very cute dream you were having. Only one problem with it though," he said as he pulled me closer and wrapped his arm around my waist. "Your choice in companion was severely lacking. I just had to come and fix that for you." I could hear the wicked grin in his altered voice, and I itched to punch his teeth out.

"Why are you here?" I asked carefully, keeping as stiff as possible.

Another flash of lightning and a following boom of thunder was loud enough to make the ground tremble.

"Can't a man miss his love and pay her a visit?" Those covered fingers brushed along my jaw tenderly, and though the action sickened me, I wondered if it was somehow genuine for him.

I bit back the urge to snap that I was not his anything. He already knew—I'd already told him more than once—he just wanted to get a rise out of me.

"You haven't come to see me in a long time. Why now? What changed?" Perhaps he would clue me in on his plans.

The Hood hummed, trailing a single fingertip down the center of my throat. "Is that your way of saying you missed me too?"

You're delusional, I wanted to say, but my mouth stayed shut.

After a few seconds of thrashing waves and roaring thunder, he sighed. "Quiet tonight, I see. How boring." I gave no response but tried to step back when glowing orange irises pulsed within the shadows of his hood. A growl rumbled in his chest, then he shoved me back and I nearly lost my footing. "You'd be wise to speak, Jangmi, before I do something less than pleasant to get you to interact with me."

My stomach twisted at the implications of what he said, but I refused to give him the satisfaction of a reply. He wanted to see me react, wanted to feel like he could get under my skin.

So I continued to stare at him without a word.

He chuckled until the sound spilled into full-blown laughter. Maniacal. The awful sound died as abruptly as it had started, and his frame swelled on a big inhale. My eyes shot to his hands as he began taking his gloves off slowly enough to spike my fear.

"You have five seconds to get as far away from me as possible." His tone made it feel as though a cold, bony fingertip traced over every bump of my spine.

His gloves dropped to the sand. His impossibly black cloak remained unmoving despite the harsh wind. His eyes continued to blaze against his shadowed face. And as he started to count down, crimson flames sparked and billowed out from his palms. When his shoulders broadened and his height grew taller, my resolve finally crumbled.

"Five."

He was shifting forms like Hoseok had in the woods. Unleashing his darker self which had to be far more dangerous and willing to do more than just scare me and play mind games—

His voice deepened. "Four."

I ran. Sprinting down the beach as fast as my muscles would allow, I ignored the rain that started pelting down in torrents, the flashes and rumbles of the storm above, the crashing of the waves and the screaming of the wind. I focused only on reaching the nearest thing to me, which happened to be a weathered dock. I would've tried to go to the town, but it was gone, disappeared into an endless stretch of beach and turbulent sky.

I was a few paces away from the dock when the sand and the wood before me flickered with red-orange light. Heat radiated from behind and sweat gathered at my nape, but I continued to sprint down the dock while the planks creaked beneath my feet.

Then the dock ended. Dropped off to unknown depths of black water. I whirled around and stood close enough to the edge that my heels no longer touched wood—only air and sea spray.

He was at the beginning of the dock, red fire lining the entire beach he'd chased me across. The flames at his hands were rising up and bending and coiling around his chest, his arms, his neck like they took on a serpentine life of their own.

He stepped forward, but rather than moving one pace closer, he was abruptly right in front of me—so close that I could feel his breath on my face, feel the heat of his power and the sinister promise those glowing eyes gave.

I stared right back and read that haunting gaze, saw through watering eyes the fate he swore he would drag me into.

I didn't flinch as he grabbed my arms and the snake-like flames licked out from his cloak onto my skin. The burn was excruciating, but it ended swiftly as I let myself fall backward.

The ice water enveloped me and I jolted, eyes bursting open. But then it was warm, calm, and something smelled of pine.

"Hey, hey," Hoseok's smooth voice anchored me to reality, and though the room was still dark, I could make out the dips and curves of his torso which I rested against. "Are you okay?" he continued as he started to sit up, but I nuzzled my face into his chest and pressed him back down.

"I'm okay," I whispered into his skin, letting his warmth soothe away the nightmare's illusion of agonizing fire and freezing water.

"Jangmi," his fingers found my hair and began massaging my scalp, "Talk to me. What was your dream?"

I breathed in his scent, letting it ground me further. Safe. Protected. He won't let anything happen to you.

"He was there," I answered.

Hoseok's hands stopped. His chest quit rising for a moment. "I figured as much," he said stiffly. "Did he... did he lay a hand—"

"It wouldn't be the first time."

That was enough for him to sit up, taking me with him. His arms wrapped around me and pulled me as close as possible, then he gently pressed his forehead to mine and closed his eyes. I shut mine too as I listened to his controlled breaths.

"I'm sorry." His words tugged at my heart with how upset he sounded. "I didn't—never let myself think that he did more than scare you or threaten you in those dreams. If I knew, I'd have found a way to be there with you."

"It wouldn't have changed anything," I said quietly, encircling the back of his neck with my hands. "I never know when he'll show up. And you couldn't use your power anyway."

"Jangmi," he said roughly, moving his head down until his face was in the crook of my neck. "If I had known, I wouldn't have cared what it took. I don't care now, either. Why do you think I've been practicing? I have to stop him."

I let my fingers thread into his hair. "But I do care. I care about who you want to be and who you don't want to be, Hoseok. I'm not willing to watch you fall into the very place you've spent years trying to avoid."

"And I'm not willing to watch you get hurt or taken away from me."

"We can find a way to stop him without you giving in to that darkness," I argued.

His hands traced patterns over my lower back, face still nuzzled into my neck. "Let me protect you. Let me use that part of myself for something good."

"In the end, it will control you, not the other way around. I've seen what it does to you, what it did to him. Please, just... no more training," I whispered. "Remember when I said I wouldn't put myself at risk for you? You promised me that you wouldn't either."

I sighed when Hoseok held my waist and breathed in, lightly trailing his nose along my shoulder and collarbone. He made his way up my neck until his cheek brushed mine and his lips were touching my ear. "I had to walk away from you once. Now that we... now that you're here in my arms, I don't ever want to let you go again," he murmured.

"Then don't," I said softly as I came to hold his face. He leaned back enough to meet my eyes. "You won't have to. We won't let him win, okay?"

His brows were fixed in a small frown as his gaze intentionally took in every bit of my face. My thumb brushed the edges of his scars at the same time that he lifted a hand to my mouth, feathering a finger along my bottom lip. Then he held my chin and pulled me in to bring his lips to mine.

My eyes closed and my heart danced as he took his time kissing me. Soft and slow. With meaning.

He parted from me and kissed below my ear before speaking in a low tone. "You've done so much to make me feel worthy and seen. It would mean the world to me if I could make you feel that too. If you'll let me, I'll show you how beautiful you are."

It was the kindest and yet most passionate thing anyone had ever said to me. And I wouldn't have wanted it to come from anyone else, because I knew it was only him who could say those words in such a way that sent a yearning ache through my being. A simple, unmistakable need to show him love and receive love back from him.

Those honey-glazed eyes brightened at the notice of my smile. "I suppose it is your turn," I said.

He chuckled and caressed my cheeks, letting his thumbs graze the outline of my jaw. "You're beyond beautiful," his whisper swept over me like a rose-scented breeze. Leaning forward, he kissed my nose. Then my temples. Then my cheeks. Then the corners of my lips. His hands slowly, timidly slid down my neck, igniting that familiar but mild burn over my collarbones, across my shoulders, down my arms. His touch was warm and golden and sweet. A touch that purified every stain left behind from the monster in my nightmare.

But then as every lingering spot was blotted out and mended by Hoseok's fingertips, his touch shifted, became hot and enticing and bold. His hands traced the sides of my waist before finding my hips and pulling me closer, closer until I was on his lap and our bodies were flush. Then his fingers were under my shirt, lighting a trail of sparks up my spine.

I let out a gasp as adrenaline spiked through my veins, and Hoseok caught my parted mouth with his to kiss me deeply.

"You're magnificent," he said softly, lips brushing mine. But there was an echo—a quieter, younger voice as a passing sound in my head.

"You're magnificent," Hoseok said after watching me try to teach him pirouettes for the fourth time that evening.

My eyes found his in the mirror. "Magnificent?" I placed my hands on my hips. "What kind of word choice is that? It sounds so fancy."

His cheeks lifted, signaling that there was a smile hidden behind his black bandanna. "It just... It's the only word that comes close to fitting you."

I giggled. "Hoseok, I'm not even that good at dancing!"

"That's not true," he replied swiftly before stepping forward. "But I wasn't talking about your dancing. I was just talking about you."

My gaze flickered to my own reflection, finding rapidly reddening cheeks. I looked at him again. "What do you mean?"

"I mean..." he paused until he had walked in front of me, cutting off my view of the mirror. Our eyes locked, and I couldn't believe just how pretty his irises were and how difficult it was to look away.

I had never had a crush on a boy before. I never felt the way other girls in my class had talked about feeling. But when the boy in front of me stared at me and brought his hand to my shoulder, my heart began to race. My blush grew brighter. And I felt like I wanted to learn more about him, ask him why his eyes were usually so sad and why he covered half his face. Hoseok was a friend, a boy I cared about and felt the need to protect. But something about how careful he was when he touched me, something about his eyes seeming happier when he was with me... I wondered if the sensations in my stomach were the butterflies my friends always mentioned.

"I mean that you, as a person, are amazing to me. Not just because you helped me fall in love with dance, but because you treat me like everyone else. You talk to me, you actually want to know me. And... you don't look at me like I scare you. You just see me."

Somewhere deep in my chest, I hurt for him. I hurt for the pain he must've experienced every day because of how everyone—adults, teachers, and kids his own age—all looked at him. I had noticed it too, after hanging out with him enough times. But I never realized just how much it meant to him that I hadn't viewed him the same way the rest of them did.

I smiled and placed my hand on top of his. Both of us glanced at our hands for a second, feeling a strange warmth, but I didn't let go. His gaze met mine again, and I pretended not to notice the tears welling in them when I whispered, "I will never, ever be afraid of you, Hoseok. You're just a boy. A special boy that is never allowed to leave me, okay?"

He blinked away the tears and nodded his head. "Yeah. Okay."

"Jangmi?" Hoseok's deepened, matured voice filtered over the echo of his younger self. He was holding my face as he observed my expression, his brows furrowed slightly. "What happened? You pulled away and—"

"I'm sorry," I said while intertwining my fingers with his, still on my cheeks. "I got a memory back. It was you and me in that old studio. You called me magnificent then too."

His frown gave way to a tilted smile. "You always have been."

"I promised I'd never be scared of you," I recalled somberly.

The smile faded, and he tucked a strand of hair behind my ear. "I remember," he muttered. "You were blushing so hard, you had me convinced for a second that my feelings weren't one-sided."

"You had feelings for me that long ago?"

He chuckled. "Darling, I felt something for you since the first time you looked at me."

Hoseok must've felt my cheeks warming as he moved his hands away from my face, his eyes skirting over both cheekbones. Then he let out a breathy laugh and said, "There it is."

I closed my eyes and tried to imprint the sound, the image of his joy into my head. It was too beautiful to forget.

"I want to remember. All of it. All of you, all of us. I want to know you better and feel even more for you than I do now—if that's even possible." I hadn't meant to sound desperate, but it came out like a plea.

Pushing some of his auburn hair away from his forehead, he consumed me with his gaze. "And just how much, exactly, do you feel for me now?"

My breath hitched as he leaned back, staring and waiting. Hands no longer touching me, but eyes holding me as if I was still in his arms.

"I'm not sure how to put it into words," I admitted hesitantly, so highly aware of his hawkish stare. "All I know is when you were training and we weren't talking, it felt like I was incomplete. I was okay, I know I would be okay without you. But I would never want to be without you if I could help it. I'd never want to feel the way it did when we met to go over the choreography, when you were so close to me but I knew in an hour you'd be gone again."

"Jangmi," he whispered so low that tingles ran over my shoulders. But I went on.

"I'm not trying to make you feel guilty. I understand why you did what you did. My point is just... you being away made me realize how much I would miss you if we never talked again. And that absence lessened the second you agreed to stay with me last night. But there's still a part of it, right here," I said while pointing to my chest, "like a dull pain that I don't think will go away until I remember everything."

His frown had returned. "I know the feeling. It's what I felt when I had to make you forget. I had to walk away from you and know that every time I checked in on you, there was a chance you might notice me and then I'd have to see you glance right over me without recognizing who I was."

There was a long pause, both of us trying to process the other's feelings. It broke my heart that he had experienced the same gap in his chest.

Hoseok reached out to me and drew me into him, caressing my hair while I rested my head on his shoulder. "I promise you I will make right what I did to you. I'll help you remember. I'll stop training. And I will never let that coward lay a hand on you again, dream or not."

I believed he meant every word. I just wasn't sure it was a promise he would be able to keep.

• • •

A/N:

I'm back! Beastly Beauty is back! Homi is back! Did you miss us?  I know I missed you 💕

I cannot even begin to explain just how chaotic this past month has been for me. I was SO ready to grind out chapters and I honestly thought this story would be completed by now, but unfortunately unexpected obstacles came up and kept me very busy. Luckily, most of that is dealt with now!  Which means I can update again and I get to see your lovely comments!

Questions for this chapter so I have an idea  of what y'all are thinking:

What exactly do you think Jangmi saw in The Hood's eyes? What fate was he swearing to bring her to?

What did you think of the memory Jangmi got back? Hoseok has been whipped for her so a long time, huh? :')

And do you think Hoseok will be able to keep that last promise he made?

I hope you all enjoyed this chapter! I wanted to spoil with some much-needed Hoseok x Jangmi content before jumping back into more action. Stay tuned, though, because it's coming!

I appreciate you SO much for waiting and returning to this story. It means more than you know, and I will never stop being thankful for the support. I hope you're all taking care of yourselves and finding reasons to smile!

Can't wait to see you in the next chapter!

Also, don't forget to check out Hearts of Dusk on my profile! The fourth chapter will be posted soon, and I have a ton in store for this book. I'd love to see you there!

Your happy-to-be-back-author,

Kat ❤️

July 26, 2021