Jay dreamed of his mother. She stood in a moonlit glade and under the pale light she shifted between human and otter form.

He woke on a faded rug before the fireplace in uncle Darren's cabin. He lay there in otter form, blinking his eyes slowly and staring at the dying embers of the fire. Courtney lay next to him, also in otter form. Her breathing was deep and heavy.

Jay had known he was an otter shifter for as long as he could remember. One of his earliest memories was arguing with his mother about whether he would sleep in his bed in human form, or on the rug in front of the fire in otter form. He couldn't have been more than five or six in the memory, and the argument was a common one growing up. He had no idea who had won that earliest argument, if he had gone to bed like he should or his mom had relented.

Sleeping in front of the fire, or just sleeping curled up in otter form, was a comfort to Jay. He shared that story with Courtney early on in their getting to know each other phase. She had love the idea and it had become a comfort for her, too.

And gods knew, she needed it right now. What ever sorrow Jay felt, whatever guilt he struggled with, Darren was gone and the past was the past. There was no changing any of it. Courtney struggles with her father were heightened by the fact that they were still happening, and the fact that both were aware that one wrong word or misstep could have devastating consequences on their relationship for years to come.

She's been so sure all spring that once she got back in Iowa her and her father would work this out, and this would all just be one more teenage rebellion. But standing up for her friends, staying to search for Darren, that have been one thing.

"But to involve yourself in a fight with werewolves? They had all but forgotten the otter clan. And good riddance, too. With them there is no end to blood feuds and battles for territory. And now that they remember us there will be no end to our danger."

"The sons of Garm," Jay had protested. "They have not forgotten the otter clan. By the time they have slaughtered bear clan and the Leidulfs, and come for us, there will be no one left to help." He hadn't meant to be so accusing with his tone. He'd wanted to play the peace maker, but Michael had only rounded on him.

"And you will be the one to decide this for the whole clan, I suppose? Forget the elder's voice. We are eighteen we know better."

Jay added a couple logs to the fire, to keep it going through until morning. He dressed quietly and slid out the back door. He knew these woods well enough that he didn't need more than the moonlight to find his way to small glade he had dreamed of.

He went like a thief in the night, or a spy. Perhaps traitor, even. He sighed.

His mother was waiting for him there, like he knew she would be. Whether they had shared the dream, or she had sent it to call him, he wasn't sure. She held her arms out to him and he went to her hug.

"You two could stay with us, you know," she chided him gently.

"No," he corrected, "I could. Courtney couldn't. It's too close, to raw."

"You are alike in that," Mom commented. "Gentle creatures, both of you. But underneath the passions are fierce."

Jay snorted. "Yeah, so fierce."

"You are," she protested a ruffled his hair. She sighed. "So is Michael. His passions run deep."

"I know, I just wish there was some way for him to see, we don't have a choice. We can't distance ourselves from this, not now. Why does he have to be so angry about it?"

"He's not angry," mom said. "He's scared. Scared for his daughter. Scared for his clan."

"But..."

"You have more courage in you than you realize," she interrupted. "If you could see how brave you are, how strong, you wouldn't judge others so harshly for falling short."

"I'm not strong. I couldn't even...If I had been stronger, a better warrior," he broke off, tears threatening.

"You aren't a warrior."

"I could be!"

She just shook her head. "It's not your path."

"You've seen my path?" It was half sarcastic, half hopeful.

"Bits and pieces. You are my child. I'm too close. You know how it is."

"You can divine for others, not yourself."

"Will you go? To the conclave? If you are set on this course of action, you had better be prepared to defend your decision to the clan."

"We aren't going," Jay replied.

"You will go to this council of theirs, in defiance of everything Michael has said —or I have?"

"No," Jay said. "We aren't going there either."

"Then where?"

"I will go to Uncle Johan's. I have obligations there."

"Are you sure now is a good time? The training can be stressful."

"Life can be stressful. Besides right now, I need it more then ever, you know."

"I do. I raised a smart kid." She ruffled his hair again.

"What will happen at the conclave? Or the council? Have you asked the cards?"

"I'm too close to it."

"And your guides? Have they said anything?"

She snorted. "They say I have raised a fine child, nothing more."

"What's that supposed mean?"

"You want to be a Noaidi — a pathfinder; so you must find a path. For the otter clan. For your friends. For yourself."

"Oh, so no pressure then," he joked.

She wrapped him in her arms, laughing quietly. "Gods, I miss your humor, my little one." My little one was term of endearment she'd used years ago, when he was small. He flushed to hear it again. When she went on, her voice was sharper. "Did Johan tell you it was an easy thing? He did not. You insisted. You did what you always do, you chose the hardest path for yourself. Now you must live with it."

"Yes, mother," he joked.

"Gods, I feel like a spy," she groused. "Sneaking off to spend time with my own child."

He chuckled. "I know. I don't get it. Bear clan spend half their lives being grumpy and sour, yet they all seem to find peace with it. Wolves bicker and fight all day and are ready to love again that night. Otters, we're the most loving and cheerful of all of them, but when we fight..."

"We are tight knit. We play for keeps."

"If those two can't make up..."

"We will be having clandestine meetings for years to come," she finished. "Your father will think I've found a lover."

"Mom!" Jay blushed, scandalised.

"I'm joking."

"I know, but, the last time anything like that happened was Courtney's uncle Mort. And look what became of him."

Mom shook her head. "That wasn't the last time."

"Who?"

"Melanie Jarvinen," mom said.

"Jarvinen?"

"The matriarch's daughter, yes," mom said. "I knew her as a child. A wild one, that one was. They say she had selkie blood in her, she was so sleek, so beautiful it was easy to believe. If I hadn't been pair bonded to your father..."

"Mom!" Jay squeaked again, blushing.

His mother laughed. "You are an adult now, get used to it. Your mother was young once, had thoughts."

"Still, I don't need to hear it."

"It's just as well," his mother said. "Considering what happened." She looked away and in moonlight she looked incredibly sad.

"So the matriarch's daughter cheated on her lover? This is family gossip I haven't heard before. Do tell."

Mom's mouth made a tight line. "It's not my story to tell."

"Way to be cryptic, mom," Jay groused. "I don't supposed the matriarch will spill the beans."

"No. It's not something anyone talks about anymore. I'm afraid you'll just have to piece the story together for yourself."

"It would be a lot easier to figure out all these family secrets if someone just told me," Jay commented.

Mom didn't answer for a long time. "Let's just say when you figure it out, you can judge for yourself how we handled it. I need to be getting home, and so do you."