Jay rose early. The fire had died down in the night and the cabin was cool, even though it was June and the weather would be warm once the sun rose.

Jay shrugged up on four feet and looked for a moment at Corey, laying next to him in otter form. How was it that he could tell Corey/Courtney's gender even when they were in animal form?

He shrugged the question off as he transformed back into human form and made his way, naked across the room. He pulled on a pair of silk pantaloons and a tight T shirt. Corey called it his Korra cosplay but Jay didn't care, it was a comfortable outfit.

He looked around Darren's cabin. Would it always be Darren's cabin, even now that Darren was gone? Probably. Jay couldn't imagine it ever being their cabin, even though he and Corey were staying here for now.

He headed to the bathroom, trying to avoid such thoughts. It was just for now, he hoped.

Then again he'd hoped that Corey and his father would make up when they got back to Iowa, too, and that hadn't happened. He woke up every day hoping that Darren would still be alive.

He used the restroom and then stared at himself in the mirror. So many people urged him to come out as transgender, declare himself female. Why couldn't he? Some of his online acquaintances even got mad about it, as though his personal struggle to define himself somehow took away from their own gender identity. Couldn't they just let him be?

Darren knew how to just let you be, to stay with you but not push. He shoved that thought down, tears threatened. Darren was dead.

He left Corey sleeping and stepped out on the porch, letting the cool air raise goosebumps on his back. He headed for woodpile. They didn't need the wood, he needed something to do. He yanked the axe out of the chopping block and placed a log on top of it.

He'd failed.

He took aim with the axe, pouring his rage and self hatred into the stroke. The log split and fell by the wayside.

The others called him a hero.

Another log split under his rage. Didn't they understand? He'd failed.

If he'd been stronger, braver, he could have done more than run to get the wolves. He could have freed Amanda and Brianna. Together they could have rescued Darren before...

Another log split, a splinter flying to the side, the log fracturing like his mood.

He was wrong and knew it. His brain told him, over and over, there was nothing more he could have done. If anything his quick action had saved Amanda and Brianna. But his heart kept saying that there must be a way he could have saved Darren, too.

He caught the glimpse of something in the cabin's window, Darren in bear form. When he looked it was gone. He stared anyway, letting his eyes go unfocused. And Darren was back.

I could have saved you, if only I'd been strong, a better warrior.

The bear shook his head, no.

"I could have!" he yelled. He broke off, tears flowing.

Amanda was coming up the drive as he yelled. She rushed and pulled him into a hug. She, too, glanced at the window. She, of all people, didn't have to ask what he'd seen, or what he was thinking.

"I could have saved him," Jay sobbed into Amanda's shoulder.

"No, I'm sorry, Jay. You couldn't. I couldn't either," Amanda said, stroking his hair while he cried.

Corey appeared briefly on the porch but didn't disturb them, instead he turned and went back inside. As soon as Jay had composed himself, they went up on the porch.

Corey, another person he'd failed. Jay had tried so hard to play the peacemaker when they got back to Iowa. But Michael, Corey's father, was having no part of it. Jay's gunshot wound, Darren's death, it was all proof in his mind that he'd been right, that the two of them had gotten themselves in over their head. The more Jay tried to talk, the more angry Michael had become.

Jay's mom had tried to talk them into staying with them, but even that was too close for Corey. He wanted to just go, anywhere; it had been all Jay could do to keep Corey from just bolting, running away. Amanda had offered them the cabin and it was, thankfully, far enough.

Amanda was staying at the Leidulf's. There were some lingering hard feelings about the kids running off to Idaho, but they were still mostly a happy family, glad to have their kids back for a short time, at least. Amanda's brother, Hunter, was staying with Aunt Maggie until things settled down, if they ever would. Amanda couldn't face being in her uncle's cabin alone so soon after his death.

She wouldn't have long to fret over things. Within a week they'd be off again, to the Leidulf camp and then to the big werewolf council. Connor was Leidulf ambassador and could hardly miss, especially now that the Sons of Garm had killed Darren.

Did everything in their lives have to revolve around that one death, he thought, trying to keep his tears at bay.

Corey came back out, a platter with three steaming bowls of oatmeal on it. Jay smiled at him as he took one.

As they ate a battered old pick up rolled up into the drive. Jay recognized the man behind the wheel vaguely. He had thick reddish brown hair and a thick beard. One eye was a ruin, a jagged scar across the left side of his face.

That detail alone supplied the name, Uncle Robert. Jay wasn't sure what actual relationship existed between Amanda and Robert, like many pagans and shape-shifter kin, they had lots of "aunts" and "uncles" that were not blood relations, but were family nonetheless.

Amanda had already risen and dashed to hug Uncle Robert as he climbed out of the van. The woman with him was Native American, a strong looking woman and from what Jay had heard, a medicine woman. She gave him a long measured stare before Amanda came and hugged her as well. It was often that way. Jay was apprenticed to a Noaidi, a Finnish pathfinder; it was a shamanic tradition that had come down through their people since the days when they roamed the tundra. He'd have to make good on the apprenticeship, and soon. Medicine women, witches and other magical practitioners often noticed each other by their auras or some other sense.

"Aaron and the others will be wanting to see you," Amanda was saying as they came over to the porch.

"We can't stay long," Uncle Robert warned. "But of course. Lunch. It's the least we can do."

"The least they can do," Amanda corrected as she slid her phone out to text home.

Uncle Robert had saved Connor's dad and his pack when the Sons of Garm had tried to ambush them last summer. It had cost Uncle Robert an eye. Uncle Mitch, Connor's uncle, had lost a couple of fingers.

For the moment Jay's rage was directed outward. He thought of all the problems they had, all because of the Sons of Garm. The Sons of Garm thought that if they eliminated all the bear clan, they'd become the all powerful wolf tribe. They'd hunted Amanda's parents and killed them. They'd hunted Amanda. Jay remembered the day they had ran through the woods, fought and nearly died fighting that pack. They ambushed Aaron and his pack. They'd killed Uncle Darren. It was their fault, not Jay's. They were monsters.

"You holding up okay?" Uncle Robert asked, jolting Jay back into the present.

He nodded. "Yeah, doing my best, you know."

"You have quite a scar," Robert's wife commented. She touched his shoulder as she said, where he'd been shot only a few weeks before. With his shifter healing gifts, it was little more than a shallow dent. But something in her voice made him think she wasn't referring to the visible scar. He nodded but didn't answer.

"So what are you two doing this summer?" Amanda asked, her voice casual. Jay knew what she was thinking, hoping. That they would go camp at Aunt Maggie's, just in case.

"Traveling," Uncle Robert replied.

"It's just I was thinking," Amanda began.

Uncle Robert sighed. "I know. And I would, believe me, I would. With you growing into your strength. Darren in the spirit realm. Hunter might well be the next target. I'll be keeping an eye out for Maggie, don't you fret. Get there when we can. But there's more going on then that..."

"Like what?" Amanda asked.

"Like most of the bear clan riled up like we've never seen," Robert's wife answered.

"Because?" Jay asked.

"Darren's death for a starter. The Sons of Garm have hunted ours before and bears have not forgotten, be sure of that," Robert paused long enough to spit on the ground. "But this time, they had help. The damnable Fleischers. Should have never gotten involved."

"I don't see why that makes such a difference," Amanda said.

"Makes a world of difference," Robert insisted. "It's one thing for the Sons of Garm to hunt us. They've been our enemy since lord knows when. Bears ain't happy they've come to the new world, as they've damn near hunted us out of the old one. But if the other wolf tribes are joining them? Then what? Be war like no one's seen in centuries."

"And they are close, some in the bear clan," Robert's wife said. "To starting that war. With any and all wolves. We can't let that happen. Your mate, Connor, the Leidulfs, they are good people. They must be given a chance to find some peace with these clans."

"Or the bears will go to war with the Sons of Garm?"

"With all the wolves," Robert replied.

"That's why we must travel," his wife supplied. "Talk to them, calm them. At least, make them aware this is not all wolves and against all bears. Otherwise..."

"The wolves won't stand a chance," Amanda finished.

"The ones caught unaware, not realising the actions of these other tribes have been cast on them, no, they will not stand a chance," Robert said. "But it will be costly for bears, too. And if it grows bad enough humans will notice."

"Our secret will be blown and all shifters will pay," Jay said. He nodded. "We must not have that."

"And what will you do this summer?" Robert asked Jay after sometime. "Will you go with Amanda to this council?"

Jay shook his head. "Can't. Mom would blow a gasket. And she's right this time. They already know some otters were involved this spring. But if we go, as part of Connor's pack, then we've cast the die for the entire otter clan. It won't be any different than bear clan. All the wolf tribes will assume we've chosen sides and otters everywhere will have to pay if there's war. We can't do that."

"Then it must not be war," Amanda said. Her face set. "Damn it, I want revenge."

Robert nodded. "You've grown up to a hard life, Amanda. I want revenge, too. But there's bigger stakes, for all of us."

Amanda nodded, looking away.

What would they do? Jay wondered, looking at Corey. Corey sat on the edge of the conversation, not talking. It wasn't like him, to be so aloof. He was going through a lot, Jay knew that. He wished he could somehow bring Corey out of his shell, but it was beyond him.

They weren't going to the council, for obvious reasons. There was a huge otter conclave going on this summer, a gathering such as happened maybe once in a decade. And they weren't going there, either. Corey had made that clear. Jay bit back his disappointment. He understood, Corey couldn't face yet another fight with his father. They'd say the wrong thing, one or the other, and it would be a rift that would never heal.

Jay glanced at the window. Darren's bear form was gone, but another had taken it's place. Johan Kallioski, Corey's uncle and the shaman Jay was apprenticed to. He nodded at the form. "We're going to Corey's Uncle's farm," he said.

"You are?" Amanda asked.

"We are?" Corey echoed.

Jay looked Corey in the eye. "Yeah, we are."