Day 22

"Ryuzaki?"  Watari's voice was calm as usual.

"Yes?"  L's voice was low and plain as he sat hunched over and staring at the screens.

"May I speak with you a moment?"

L looked up, his thumb pushed lazily to his bottom lip.  "Is something wrong?"

The old man moved his hands to clasp behind his back as he cleared his throat.  "Perhaps here is not the best place."

L stared up at him for a moment before swiveling away from the desk and stepping out of the chair, both hands sliding into his pockets. 

"Mister Aizawa, take over, please."

The curly-haired policeman set aside his laptop and stood up.  "You got it."

L then looked towards his son, who was coloring at the coffee table, but Watari spoke up quietly, only for L to hear

"Just the two of us, please."

L swung his incredulous gaze up to the calm pair of grey-blue eyes behind gold spectacles.  He never left his son in the care of anyone who wasn't Watari or himself.

But Wammy stayed calm.  "Just in my room here, Ryuzaki.  He'll be fine."

The detective looked wary but finally gave an annoyed sigh, trusting his handler.  "Mogi.  Matsuda.  Keep an eye on him, please."  He nodded towards the boy who was oblivious to the conversation due to the headphones he wore. 

"Oh, sure thing, Ryuzaki!" Matsuda perked up.  "We won't let you down!"  He quickly stood to his feet but then realized there was no need to do so, and he sat back down.

Mogi rolled his eyes, and L nodded before turning to follow Watari.

Once inside the suite bedroom that Watari was currently using as his own, L turned to the older man.

"What's going on, Watari?" he asked pointedly.  "You're acting strangely."

Wammy's hands were clasped behind his back again.  He tipped his head a little before speaking.  "Your son would like to take a walk with you today."

L only stared, and Watari stared right back.  Then shadowed eyes closed, and L shook his head.  "You brought me in here... to tell me that?"

"I did."  Wammy nodded.

"You know the answer."

"I do, yes."  The old man nodded again.  "Which is why I brought you in here.  To persuade you otherwise.  I think it would be healthy for you both to get some fresh air and to spend some time together."

"But the case-"

"The case consists of surveilling three video monitors at the moment.  Two, actually, as the Chief needn't be watched so closely.  And I believe such a job can be delegated to your task force while you take some time for your son."

"What, those nitwits?" L practically snapped.  "They don't believe me, Watari!  If something were to happen, assuming they didn't miss it completely, they'd certainly write it off as nothing--  I saw Amane's hair move, I know I did-" 

"And I believe you," Watari replied gently.  "I will be here with them.  You may even go back and watch the recordings when you return, if you wish."

L brought a hand to his head and made a fist around some hair.  "Watari..." he said lowly.  "I realize that in your eyes, I'm neglecting my son.  And... maybe I am.  But this is temporary, and it's for just about the best reason there could be.  He is safe, and right now, that is all that matters.  I haven't... stopped caring about him, I love him, I-"

"L."  Watari stepped forward and put both hands on his boy's gaunt shoulders, making the younger man stiffen, but he didn't pull away.  "There isn't a doubt in my mind that you love that boy, and that you want the best for him.  But he misses you.  And the case won't come crashing down if you take him for a walk."

"It could," L muttered stubbornly.

Wammy's mustache twitched.  "I won't let it."  He was just as adament.

The two were silent until L sighed, hanging his head and letting his shoulders fall.

"I realize I've been letting him down lately.  And that this is not the first time you've spoken to me about it.  But how can I solve this case if I am not one hundred percent committed?"

Wammy's hands firmly held L's shoulders with support and reassurance.  "By trusting those you have elected to work with you."

"They don't trust me."

"Oh, I don't think that's entirely true.  Light is the son of their Chief, so their hesitancy to suspect him is to be expected.  And don't you always say that skepticism is a powerful motivator?"

"I don't trust easily.  Last time I did that..."  L pursed his lips together, shaking his head slightly.  Now was not the time to be thinking about her...

"Do you trust me?" Wammy asked softly and yet directly.

L's wide, shadowed gaze lifted to meet the old man's.  After a moment, he nodded, just once.  "More than anyone."

"Then take your boy out for a walk.  Enjoy your time with him, and when you return, all will be well in-tact.  You have my word."

L only continued to look into the eyes of the only father he'd ever known before his chest rose in an inhale.  "Am I a bad father, Wammy?" he asked quietly.

Watari chuckled, and L scowled a little, seeing nothing funny about the question.

"No, my boy.  You are simply, as I seem to continually have to remind you, only human.  And you make mistakes.  You are brilliant and passionate, but you are fiercely stubborn.  And you absorb yourself in your work to the point that I'm surprised I don't have to remind you to breathe."  His eyes creased with the smile that formed under his mustache.

L squirmed under the assessment of himself, and Watari removed one hand from his shoulders only to place the other one on the back of L's wild, raven head.

"You are an extraordinary detective and a loving father.  There simply has to be a balance between the two."

L wasn't making eye contact in his discomfort, but he knew Watari was right.  He rubbed the side of his nose with his finger before pocketing both hands.  "I do love him."

"I know you do."

**********

Day 30

L's brow was deeply furrowed, his gangly arm wrapped around his knees as his other thumb smushed his lips.  His eyes were on a screen, which was usual for him, but what was on the screen was most unusual.

A man in a green striped shirt was gyrating in a ridiculous dance while singing a silly tune about figuring out Blue's Clues.

"I knew the answer before Steve did," Bean remarked, sitting slouched against his Papa with a silicone pop toy in his hands.  The stimming toy was shaped like a video game controller and had raised bumps all over it that could be popped in and out.

L sighed.  "Well done.  However, I find it extremely counterproductive that the dog wouldn't simply communicate to his owner that he wanted a bath rather than going deep sea diving inside a storybook just to put his paw print on a bubble."

"Blue is a girl," Bean corrected very seriously.

"My point stands."

The boy shrugged.  "It's more fun this way."

"Is it?" L muttered.  "I would have to disagree."

Bean looked up from his toy, tipping his head and scowling childishly up at L as he sat closely pressed against him.  "It's an adventure," he insisted in a high pitched voice.

"I see."  L moved his hand away from his mouth and ruffled his son's already unruly hair, making him grin. "You do think like your Mama sometimes."

"Mama liked Blue's Clues?'

"I... have no way of knowing that."

Bean looked back to his toy.  "I bet she did," he said matter-of-factly.

A small and crooked smile tugged at one corner of L's mouth.  "You should get ready for your karate lesson now."

"Okay."  Bean set aside his toy and sat up from the warmth of his Papa's side.  An instructor had been hired for private lessons in the hotel gym, with Watari supervising, of course.

L watched as his boy scampered off, the smile he wore fading from his features.  He'd been making more of an effort again to make time for Bean, and those times were like little pockets of happiness and innocence in a grim and rotten world.  But now it was back to work and back to reality. And when it came to the Kira Case, there really wasn't anything to smile about.

**********

Day 37

The earliest morning light hung like gossamer glow dust in the darkness, bathing the hotel suite in a murky blue hue.  One of the bedroom doors opened quietly, and Watari stepped out wearing grey silk pajamas and a dark red robe with bunny slippers, of all things.  Someone had gotten them for his last birthday... and it wasn't L.

Looking around, he noted that the computer displayed the calligraphic L screensaver.  Turning, he walked quietly over to the desk, finding L sound asleep with the side of his head resting atop it, his curved back moving subtly and rhythmically with his breathing.

Wammy smiled.  Good.  He needed it.  Especially given that he appeared to have simply konked out without meaning to.  On the screens, Light, Misa, and Chief Yagami were all sleeping too.  A spoon was still held in the detective's hand, a half-eaten bowl of chocolate mousse sitting nearby.

Gently, Wammy lifted the spoon away, and L's fingers relaxed just a little, but he didn't move otherwise, and his expression of closed eyes and slightly parted lips didn't change.  A moment later, a blanket was being carefully and lovingly placed around his shoulders, and even still, he did not stir.

The old man turned then to check on Bennett, opening the boy's bedroom door without a sound and peering in.  The little Bean was curled with his back against the corner, like always, cuddled with his multiple plushies and sound asleep.  Wammy closed the door with care.

The blueness of the room was slowly giving way to morning light as Watari sat down in view of the monitors with his cup of coffee.  Bean wouldn't be up for a couple of hours, and there was no telling when L would wake up.  But Wammy didn't mind the quiet.  In fact, it was quite welcome.  He settled in comfortably, content with his cup of coffee and his bunny slippers to keep him company.

**********

Day 48

It was Aizawa who cleared his throat, causing L to look over with a doughnut pinched in each hand.

The three agents stood there, their arms at their sides.  Aizawa wore a slight scowl, Matsuda looked nervous, and Mogi just... looked the same as he always did.

"...yes?" L prompted.

"Ryuzaki," Aizawa spoke up firmly.  "We've been talking... and we feel that this has gone on long enough.  We all agree that Light and Amane have more than proven their innocence."

"It's been almost two months-" Matsuda started to add, but L interjected calmly.

"I'm well aware of how long it's been."  He took a bite of the glazed doughnut in his left hand and then sighed before speaking with his mouth full.  "Let's give it two more days."  He swallowed.

"But... why?" Aizawa wanted to know, seeming annoyed.

L bit into the chocolate iced doughnut in his right hand.  "Well... then it will have been an even fifty days."

"Huh??"  Aizawa was incredulous.  "You want to hold them for an extra two days just because-"

"Two more days sounds great!" Matsuda perked up.  Then he looked to Aizawa and lightly backhanded his comrade's shoulder.  "That sounded like a yes to me!" he optimized.

"Yeah, I say we take the win," Mogi murmured.

Aizawa sighed loudly.  "Fine.  Two more days."

**********

Day 50

Soichiro stood before L with his head hung, unshaven and disheveled.

"...alright," he said quietly.  "I'll do it.  I will hold my son at gunpoint and accuse him of being Kira.  But only because I am confident that he isn't.  And I'm willing to do just about anything to prove that."

L nodded.  "Good.  Now go get yourself cleaned up.  A cup of tea might do you some good."

The Chief nodded before turning away to leave the room.

L turned as well, rotating on his heel to head towards the swivel chair at the desk, hopping up into it.  He pulled a phone out of his pocket using only a thumb and finger, and he speed-dialed a number before holding it up to his ear.

"Watari.  Is it done?"

"Yes, Ryuzaki.  The cameras are all in place in the Chief's car."

"That's good.  Thank you."  He hung up.  A low growl vibrated L's throat as he slid the phone back into his denim pocket.  Then he wrapped an arm around his knees as his other thumb pressed to his lips, his whole body curling into something of a wiry ball with wild, black hair.

I'll admit, this does feel like a Hail Mary.  But surely, I couldn't have been so wrong.