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Chapter 23 - The Self, Part 1

At 0700 hours, the clones were making their way to the mess hall. That is where they found their commander, sleeping soundly with her head resting on her folded arms, at one of the tables. They decided to let the girl sleep after they realized that she wouldn't wake up, even if the Triumphant exploded. 

However, her peaceful slumber did not last when a particular group of clones found her. 

"Oh, commander...." 

Reetha grunted and buried her face deeper into her arms. She managed to hear amused laughter in the background but decided to leave it be. 

"Hey, kid. Wakey wakey." One of the clones sat down beside her and leaned on her, jostling her a little. 

"What? I'm sleepy." Reetha grumbled sleepily. 

"Drink some caff." a very distinctive grouchy voice came from her front, it could only belong to Wolffe. Reetha opened an eye lazily and watched him push the warm cup of coffee closer to her. The creamy and sweet smell drew her face out of her arms as her hands received the warm cup. 

"Thanks" the grunted. 

"So, you finally decided the mess hall was the most comfortable place to sleep in? Or did you sleepwalk out of your room?" Comet chuckled, wrapping an arm around Reetha and gave her a one-sided hug. 

Reetha leaned into Comet, sinking into his side. "Nah... I just woke up in the middle of the night and couldn't sleep. So I decided to come here and think, and I may or may not have fallen asleep. Although, I've been known to sleepwalk when I was a youngling." 

Sinker snorted. "Sleepwalk all you want, just don't sleepwalk to my room. Force knows I'd die of a heart attack. Anyways, you said you couldn't sleep. Are you alright kiddo?" He asked tentatively. 

Reetha hesitated for a while before replying. "Just some... dreams. No, bother really." 

The clones at the table exchanged glances. "If you say so. Mind you though, you look like you've had no decent sleep in days. Are you sure your alright?" Wolffe asked. Reetha sighed, slowly recalling the vision she had. It was too early for her boys to worry about some Jedi vision. She'd probably ask Master Plo later.

The girl nodded hastily. "Mhmm. All good." 

To Boost, Sinker, Comet and Wolffe, Reetha sounded like she was trying to convince herself that everything was okay. "Maybe, you're just missing the 501st. Give them a call. Maker knows they 'baby' you." 

Wolffe grinned when he finally saw a small smile on Reetha's face. When she came to think of it, she hadn't called her brother's in three days. Three days too long. Although the boys constantly sent her holovids of Fives and Hardcase pulling off stupid stunts, and Rex sending her pictures of any cool planets he visited and them always blasting her chats with tons of messages, she missed their voice terribly. 

Impatient to make the call, she began to eat her food quickly, nearly inhaling and choking. Boost patted her back to calm her down a tad little. Mouthfull of food, she mumbled thank you and ran off to her room to call her brothers. 

---

Reetha's holo-comm rang for several seconds before it was answered. The first thing she saw, was Ahsoka's excited face. "Hello there?" Reetha greeted with slightly amused and questioning. 

"Ahah! Reetha, good to see you."

Reetha had to squint as Ahsoka began to run down the hallway of a ship. "Running from Rex?" Reetha asked when she heard an angry clone shout the Togruta's name. 

"Mhmm." Ahsoka huffed. 

"Stole his Holo-transmitter." 

"Mmhmm." 

Fast forward after Rex successfully tracked Ahsoka into a vent and retrieved his holo. Rex greeted Reetha with a tired smile. He walked to the bridge and called Anakin over to the call. 

"Hey Ree. You seem to call Rex more than me." Anakin mused in mock hurt.

"Hey, Master. Good to see you too." the girl chuckled. 

Rex brought the call around so Reetha could meet the other troops. She was more than happy to finally hear their voices. 

"I really wish I were there with you guys." She sighed. After greeting her brother's Rex brought the call to a most secluded area so the two could talk privately. 

"Hang in there vod'ika. You'll see you very soon. It is almost the third week of your first month with the 104th." Rex reminded her. 

"Yeah..." 

Rex hummed thoughtfully. "Alright. What's up with you. Spill." 

"How do you always know?" Reetha sighed in defeat. 

"Brother senses. Now spill." 

The girl huffed. "It's, a vision I had. Scared the crap out of me so I couldn't sleep the rest of the night." Reetha wanted to stop there, not wanting Rex or Anakin or anyone for the matter to worry over her. 

Rex cleared his throat and nodded to her. Reetha grunted knowing there was no escape from the captain when he finds out a problem. Reetha began to explain her vision but not the entire truth. In other words, she didn't tell him about the clones shooting at her, the Jedi in the youngling room, the voices, or even the part where she nearly killed two clones. In summary, she told him nothing but the lie. 

"Reetha, you know I can tell when you lie. What's wrong, vod?" Rex pleaded with his eyes. 

"Rex, I can't tell you now. Not that I don't trust you, I just don't even know for sure if what I saw was a vision or just a manifestation of my fears. And I refuse to acknowledge it, no less let you and the rest worry about it until I have a better understanding of what I saw." 

Reetha could see Rex thinking over the conversation, then finally he raised his hands in surrender. "Okay, okay. I hear you. Just, promise me you'll find out whatever it is your going through. I can't stand to see you this worried, and I can't be there to comfort you." 

Reetha was taken back by surprise when she heard this. Not in offence, but rather felt touched that Rex wanted to be here to comfort her. "Hearing your voice and seeing your face is enough. Also, tell that to Anakin, Ahsoka and the boys. I really mean it." 

Rex smiled softly. "Huh, I'm proud of you, Reetha. You've grown so much from when I met you. Whatever happened to that shy and emotionally scared girl I met all those months ago." 

Reetha didn't know how to reply so she just smiled at her brother. Feeling grateful that the Force brought her to meet this wonderful person. "I have to go, Rex. I'll call you soon. Take care and I can't wait to be back." 

"Alright,vod'ika. Take care of yourself and find out about that vision."

"I will. I love you, Ayiya." 

"I love you too, sister."

 The call ended. Sighing contently, Reetha jumped off her bed and went on to carry out her daily duties. Reports and studies.

---

Turns out, Reetha could not concentrate an ounce on her work. Her vision, or dream, was constantly resurfacing in her mind. Everything about it was too vivid and disturbing for her own liking. When she figured out that her mind wouldn't be at peace until she tried to understand her dilemma, Reetha went to find Master Plo. 

"Come in, Reetha." Plo invited the padawan in after she announced her presence outside his quarters. She thanked Master Plo and took a seat by a table. 

It didn't take Reetha to speak her mind, but the Jedi already knew of her troubles. It radiated thickly in the Force that surrounded her. 

"How have you been doing, young one? From what Wolffe tells me, you and the clones get along well." Plo decided to calm her a little before getting on the topic. 

Reetha's glum look brightened up a little. "Hah. Well, they somehow manage to get me out of my shell." She said happily while accepting a cup of tea that Plo handed to her. 

After some comfortable silence passed between the two, Plo acknowledged Reetha's worries. "You seem to be a little out of sorts with yourself, young one." He observed. 

Sighing a little, Reetha told Plo about her vision, only this time, telling him every detail of her vision. Plo gave her every opportunity to let her let out her frustration, not interrupting her, even once. He did notice that Reetha became very mentally drained while talking about the vision. 

"I suppose you think it's... the dark side? I-is it calling out to me?" Reetha looked worriedly at Master Plo.

Humming softly he replied, "As much as the Jedi acknowledge visions as a warning about future events, it does not mean that it's for certain." Reetha looked quizzically at Plo. 

"In other words, just because your vision shows you as a fallen Jedi in the future, that does not mean you will become one." Reetha's mouth formed an 'O' after understanding what Plo told her. 

"So, what does this vision mean? Is it even a vision to begin with?" She asked, carefully sipping on the hot tea. 

Plo hummed thoughtfully, "You are curious, young one. A dream and vision are hard to differentiate. It depends on the person who experiences it. I will admit, I may not be able to answer every question about the Jedi. Sometimes, certain questions can only be answered with time. As of what it means, I can only tell you that it could be a warning from about oncoming events, or maybe just a dream about your fears. I cannot be for certain Reetha. Somethings, even the Jedi cannot explain." 

Reetha pondered on Plo's words. "So, whether it's a vision or not, it cannot be for certain, yes?" She looked towards the Jedi. 

Plo nodded. "You only make it certain if you entertain it." 

Pressing her lips into a thin line, Reetha thinks over Plo's words. The Jedi are powerful, but even they can't explain everything. She allows a smile to creep on her face when she comes to understand that the Jedi are just people in the end. Wisdom and power can go a long way but certain things cannot be explained or understood in a snap of a finger. Although the question of her, 'vision' remained, Reetha was pleased to know that even the Jedi have their struggles. 

Satisfied with her answers, for know, Reetha thanked Plo. Plo made it clear that he was more than happy to help her. 

"Reetha, if I may ask a favour of you." Plo inquired.

"Sure, master. What is it?"

"It's a matter about your abilities Reetha. I think it would be about time to let the Wolfpack, at least, know your morphing abilities."

At the mention of it, Reetha's smile began to falter, which worried the Kel Dor. "I don't want to put you in a forced position young one, but I think it would be healthy for you to open up about it." 

Reetha was happy about her position in the 104th, but she had feared this particular moment the most. "Master, I- I don't think I'm..." Her words trailed off into silence. Silently sitting in front of her, Plo understood her worries. 

"Master, I just don't think the boys would, well, welcome this." She gestured a wolf's snout and ears, not wanting to fully acknowledge it. "Not to doubt them, master, but I don't think I want to drop the Wolf bomb on them." Reetha's voice shrank. 

Placing a clawed hand on her shoulder, Plo spoke comforting but true words. "I understand young one. Still, I do encourage you to let them know, in your own time." Plo took the empty teacup from Reetha's hands and placed it on the table. "When the time does come, just be yourself." 

Nodding, Reetha yawned and began to walk towards the doors. "I will, master." She offered him a small smile before yawning again. 

Chuckling, Plo patted her back. "Something tells me that they would take it well." 

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-short chapter. I wanted to continue this until she revealed herself, but I figured it would be too long and too draggy. Coming up with a good storyline is hard -heavily sighs, dramatically-, and even if I have an idea, it's actually challenging to write it out. This is also the 23rd chapter and I realized there is A LOT more to go since I want to cover  Reetha's time with the 212th then back to the 501st. -

-anywho, it's already Christmas Eve. :) Can't do much celebrating tho. Malaysia is still enforcing conditional movement control order so we are only allowed to have celebrations just on the 24th and the 25th. It going to be a quiet Christmas, but meh- being a moody half introvert, that's actually comforting. Also, I hope ya'll are doing well, not getting sick n stuff. Hopefully, you guys aren't as bored as I am here. Anyways, I hope you enjoyed this slow and long and draggy chapter. The second part will be more interesting. Take care and have a good night/day!"

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