I watched both their eyes skim along the paper, that was held a side each by both of them. Sat together on the sofa as I continued to stand in front of them waiting for them to finish.

My dads eyes were the first to look up from the letter as he looked up at me.

Tyler's 'apology' letter had been given to me today by school. Stapled to a formal apology on behalf of the school for letting it happen and explaining in better detail what had occurred with the two tests. At first, I was reluctant to even show them any of this. The letter, my real test, I honestly would have been fine to never even tell them anything to do with the incident. It wasn't like it would change anything.

Like Tyler had once said, being good isn't suppose to be an achievement. Its bare minimum. But for kids like me, when being good becomes an achievement, its only ne because you'd never been doing anything right before hand.

Call it bittersweet, or call it absolute bullshit. Either way every kid sits on one side of the spectrum.

"So..." My mom slowly spoke, looking up. "Your test score was nitey two?"

"The highest in the whole class,"

"And did you cheat?"

"What? No- no I didn't cheat,"

"I'm suppose to believe you're telling me the truth right now?"

"I am- mom I got that score,"

"How did you-"

"-I studied mom,"

She bit her bottom lip nodding as she looked away from me,

I looked over at my dad, waiting for any type of praise.

"What?" He asked confused.

But I was obviously searching through the wrong people.

"Nothing dad." I sighed, before leaving the room.

I made my way through the dining hall and up the stairs into my room, being as less dramatic as I could. Although I wanted to slam doors and throw everything off my desk, smash everything breakable in sight and scream, I couldn't find the point in doing so.

So when I made it into my room, the only thing I picked up was a phone.

It rang for longer than usual, but there was a reply. "Oh, hey Mal,"

When looking for praise, it was always useless to look for it around my parents. "Hey Billie,"

"Everything okay?"

"My parents got the letter today,"

"Really? Hey thats awesome- why do you sound so down? What did they say?"

But having understood, there was always praise to be found around Billie Joe. "Well... my mom asked if I had cheated,"

"And you said?"

"I told her the truth- I didn't. I only studied,"

"Well... well what about your dad? Surely one of them had something positive to say?"

"Apparently not, he said nothing,"

"Not anything?"

"Well not about the situation no. Its what they always expect from me, I won't scrounge any praise out of them any time soon for doing what they've always told me to,"

"So what are you doing now?"

"Throwing a pity party in my room,"

Billie was silent for a few more extra seconds before replying. "I can come pick you up?"

"To do what?"

"Well- I mean I don't know anything. Better than sat in your room feeling sorry for yourself,"

"Alright... you gotta good point there,"

"So I'll be there in...?"

"Ten,"

"Got it,"

~

So with the whole school fiasco teacher thing out the way, there was a last loose question in the air of what Billie and I were.

What did I want us to be? What did he want us to be? It had felt like it had taken forever to push this situation aside, and now its out the way the only thing I care about now was him.

So I was desperate to know what exactly we are or could be, or if there was even a chance of anything.

"Maybe she just feels dumb for always saying you couldn't do things," He suggested, shrugging his shoulders as he took another sip of coffee.

"Or maybe she just doesn't care"

"Parents always care some how,"

"Not mine,"

We went quiet as I looked around the coffee shop. It was always the same one I went to, the same one I had been tutored in by Tyler times and times again.

"But its fine anyway- y'know? I don't even care," I quickly brushed off trying to seem less miserable. "Whats been going on with you lately anyway,"

"Me?"

"Yeah... well- we always talk about me. Lets talk about what you've been doing,"

"Okay... well... Tre, Mike and I have been getting started on the new album?"

"Really?"

"Uhuh. We've got a few songs planned out. Some random lyrics and beats here and there. It's all patchy right now. But soon once more things are planned out we'll be in a studio ready to begin recordings,"

"How often will I see you when that happens?" I asked, sounding slightly more nervous than I wanted to let on.

He gave me a little smile raising his eyebrows. "Worried?"

"Well- maybe just a little. You've been behind me for too long now, it's gonna feel weird to not have you there,"

"I'll still be there,"

"Of course- I know that Billie. I know you'll always be there. But you won't be here,"

"You're worried about that?"

"What if I do something stupid and you're not there to knock the common sense into me?"

"Like what?"

"Anything- literally anything,"

He laughed slightly. Leaning back in the chair taking his elbows off the table. "You're old enough to handle yourself Mal,"

"I'm not saying that Billie- I know I can handle myself but I don't do it the right way,"

"What do you mean the right way?"

"I'm on my last chance to graduate. I mean- I'm nearly twenty and I'm still in high school and living at home-"

"-High schools nearly over, you'll graduate this time I know you will,"

"There's no telling,"

"You've made loads of improvements- I mean. You've seen what you can do if you try hard enough,"

I nodded, looking down at my empty coffee cup. "I guess,"

There was a few seconds passing of silence. There wasn't really nothing more to be said about that part of the situation, until he leaned back over to the table grabbing my attention as I looked up at him.

"So what's your plan when you graduate from school?"

"If I do-"

"-What's the plan,"

"Alright..." I paused, thinking. "Well... first I'll move out. Even if I'm scraping by in a lousy flat from a shit job- it'll be enough for me. Disconnect myself from my parents completely,"

"With out guilt?"

"Not a strand,"

"Carry on,"

"Well after I do that. I really start living my own life. Y'know? It's where I can go from there,"

"You're just going to wing it?"

"Like I always do," I smiled slightly, before hearing the doorbell that hanged over the cafes door chime.

Billies chair was faced to the front of the cafe, meaning his back was to the front of the shop. He'd of had to turn around to see who walked in. I looked over, just from the noise of the doorbell and saw what only looked like my next problem.

As much as life hated me, no it did not hate me enough to send Tyler through that door. Which may have been a positive. But yet, it was a friend of mine. Or more as I called her 'the aquatint.'

"Holy shit,"

"What?" Billie asked confused, looking at me.

I looked over at Vee, who looked at me. She smiled, unaware who the person across from the table from me was, until he turned around to look at what I was looking at. As Vee walked to the front of the Cafe, she realised I was sat with my old music teacher.

You could plainly see it in her eyes she realised. Her eyes grew big as she looked at me, but she didn't come over. Only to the front.

"Victoria," I whispered to Billie.

"Victoria...?"

"She sat beside me," I mumbled quietly. "Is your music class Billie Joe,"

Billies eyes widened as he realised. "We should leave,"

"Really?"

"Before she comes over,"

I nodded; realising after she ordered their might have been a chance of that.

So Billie and I stood up taking our paper cups as we pushed the chairs back under the mini table quickly, rushing to get out the cafes door.

There wasn't a word exchanged between Billie and I, we rushed quietly to his car that was parked in outside. Got in, seat belts on. And the car started.

I let out a breath as we began to drive down the road, the cafe shrinking in the rear view mirror. "That's great," I sarcastically mumbled.

"I'm sure it's fine,"

"Fine? Are you kidding? Y'know what- I'm surprised this hasn't happened earlier but now? Just when I was back on my track? Absolutely fucking brilliant,"

"Mallory- it's fine,"

"How can you sit and say that?"

"Because I'm not worried,"

"Well you should be!"

"For what? I was having a coffee with you,"

The way he said it, sounded pretty blunt. In a weird sense for it to only of been seven words, it sorta stung. "And you don't think this looks some what weird?"

"No? Stop overthinking everything. It's not like I'm dating you is it Mal,"

"Oh- we're not dating but you said you loved me, kissed me in a detention and I just casually hang out with you-"

"-None of that means we're dating,"

"We love each other- but it's fine we're not dating,"

"Mallory thats not the way I meant it,"

"No Billie it's fine. Just as long as we're not dating,"

"That's not the way it was-!"

"-You kissed me the first week you even knew me! You still kiss me to this day! You told me you love me. Oh but maybe if I remind her we're not dating none of that stuff I did will matter!"

"Mallory you're-!"

"-A student saw me hanging out in my free time with you, but oh Billie doesn't worry! Why? Because we're not dating!"

"It wasn't fucking-!"

"-'it wasn't like that Mallory!' You say that every time- y'know you can't just do this to me and then tell me we're not dating so it's okay. You're acting like a big fucking ass!"

The cars tiers screeched on to the concrete as he hit his foot on the breaks. The vechile Parked sharply and dangerously on the side of the road as I felt myself jolt forward. Good thing for stately belts.

"Do you want me to drive you back to your house or not!? Because I will just make you walk your self home- instead of sat in my fucking passenger seat, screaming at me! While I drive you back to spare you the walk!"

Billie had never shouted at me like that before. Never ever.

I'd received the head shake of disappointment, the exhausted sigh, the eye roll, voice being raised, being ignored, but never lost it.

There was only one time he had 'shouted' at me. But he more so 'snapped'.

But this, was him really shouting. Angry. The both of us sat in his badly parked car on the side of the road. I contemplated getting out and walking myself home, but I didn't know how to move.

It was the nostalgic sense of being tongue tied. Only this time, I felt sick.

I'd been shouted at people before, it never fazed me. Never scared me, upset me, made me feel sick or tongue tied. I never forgot how to move, or as so speak.

But what those people all had in common were one thing and one thing only. They didn't care about me. And most importantly, I didn't care about them.

"So are you getting out- or not!"

Problem was, I cared for Billie.

I managed to shake my head slowly, no words. Releasing I'd flinched and moved back, but I stayed leaning against the car door for a few seconds. Until Billie began to drive again.

With everything that I did with Billie, I did it just a little more passionately then with anyone else.

I was more happy then happy was when I was happy with him, I was more sad than sad could be when I felt guilty, I loved him like I didn't have anyone else to love- cause I don't, he made me angrier than anyone could get me. And on top of all that.

He scared me. More than I knew he could.

Once the car parked again, only this time it was more calmed and neat. I zoned back into reality to realise I was at my house.

Too scared to move, too tongue tied to speak, too nervous to even try any.

"Are you getting out?" He finally asked me, his voice band and bitter.

"Sorry Billie," I mumbled, looking infront through the car window.

"What?"

"I'm sorry." I said louder, turning to him. "Billie Joe, I didn't mean to make you mad,"

"Well you did,"

"And I'm sorry-"

"-You think everything I say is so much more meaner and rude then what it is. Over analysing every word I say,"

"It's just that-"

"-Just what? I'm a big fucking ass?"

"I didn't mean that Billie,"

"Why say it?"

"I don't know," I breathed, tightening my eyes shut. "I was just- I was hurt and I was angry and worried and I took it out on you and I shouldn't of- and I'm sorry, I really am,"

"Course you are," He mumbled in a sarcastic tone of voice crossing his arms.

"Billie- I am! I didn't mean to get so riled up about what you said- I didn't! You just- you said we weren't dating and it hurt me-"

"-But we aren't,"

"I know," I sighed. Leaning my head back on the car seats head rest. "And I want us to be, that's the issue,"

"Why wouldn't you just say that?"

"What?" I laughed sarcastically looking over at him. "We've just gotten rid of my test issue- you're back on your band work, I've got my other more important tests coming up soon, I admitted I loved you days and days and days ago and I'm suppose to find it in me to tell you how badly I'd like to be something with you?"

"Well don't you think that's a better option than screaming at me?"

"I don't know any other way Billie!"

"How don't you?"

"I just don't Billie- okay? Look- I don't know what more you want from me. I don't know how much courage I have left in me to just keep going on limbs and telling you these things but I'm sick of playing this game. I want it to end. I want it to stop. For fuck sake I want you. And it's driving me mental because I would give up all I have for you and that makes me feel like an idiot because at the end of the day you're not mine- and- and I'm not yours? So why would I do that?"

"Mallory- calm down," He pleaded slightly.

"I can't! How long have we been doing this for? I don't want to play games anymore I don't wanna carry on I hate this thing that we are! We aren't friends- we aren't dating- we're in this awkward stage," I strained, my voice breaking. "And we have been for so long-"

"-Mallory-"

"-And you told me we weren't dating and it hit me how much we really aren't and-"

"-Mallory!"

And this ladies and gentlemen, was in fact. My breaking point.

In a car, on the side of my road. My former teacher clipped his seat belt and then mine and pulled me into a hug.

I had found myself, sobbing into the shoulder of Mr Armstrong. Crying so hard, because I loved him so hard that it almost broke me.

He rubbed my back for comfort, his other hand stroked the back of my head as he cooed that it was okay into my ear. I didn't do much more than cry, which seemed pathetic from my point of view but I couldn't help myself.

"I'm sorry I shouted at you," he whispered, still hugging me. "I didn't mean to do this to you,"

My response was more crying.

"And- I hope you know that I do want you too Mallory. I want you more than I want anything else. I'm just scared,"