A/N: I listened to Stay by Gracie Abrams [linked above] and How to Save a Life by The Fray while writing this chapter. Though it's your choice, playing the songs will definitely add to the atmosphere of the scene. 🥺

Warning: this chapter deals with subjects that may be triggering to some readers dealing with their mental health. Read at your own risk.

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- Noor's POV -

Thump. Thump. Thump. Thump. Thump. Thump.

The beating of my heart is so loud that it's deafening. I want to scream on top of my lungs.

The water in the tub is so red, you never would have imagined that it was once clear. I can't even make out his arms or legs.

"Y-yasir, s-s-stop m-messing with m-me... you w-win, y-you've g-got m-m-me." My tongue can barely form words.

He has to be playing a cruel joke on me. He's just kidding, right? He's just messing me with! He has to be!

Not a word. He didn't even flinch.

I'm too afraid to get any closer.

What if he's missing one side of his face? What if he's missing an arm? A leg? All four limbs?

As my thoughts get darker, my mind is screaming at me to snap out of it and check if he's breathing.

I slowly crawl towards the tub that's in the middle of the washroom and a trembling hand reaches out to him.

Not only am I trembling as if I'm having a seizure but I'm so numb that I can't feel anything... I physically can't feel anything.

I can't feel the touch of his skin. I can't feel my knees digging into the floor. I can't feel.

I can tell his skin is cold but I can't feel it.

No, no, no, no.

"Yasir, please, please, please, wake up... please... I don't hate you. I want to tell you I don't hate you, I never did." My tears are so thick that you'd think that I'd be able to drown in them.

I quickly wipe my tears to grab my phone to call 911, until—

"Hm..."

My head whips up, not knowing if that was from my own imagination or if it was Yasir.

"Y-Yasir?" I whisper.

"Don't..." His voice is barely a mumble. "Don't... call..."

I don't know what compelled me to do this but I jumped inside the tub of water that clearly looks like a murder scene.

I throw my arms around him, resting my chin on his head as he rests on my chest.

"You scared me, you stupid idiot!" I sob harder, barely being able to keep myself together. "Let me call an ambulance."

"Don't..."

"What do you mean 'don't'?" I look at his face, which is pale and almost grey. "Are you planning on dying in a bathtub?"

He doesn't answer.

"I can't help you if you don't help me, Yasir. Where did you hurt yourself?" I ask.

He's still silent.

"I'm calling the ambulance. There's no way you're not going to need medical assistance after a whole ginormous bathtub being filled with blood!" I cry out.

He grabs my waist, probably because he doesn't have the energy to reach my hand.

He slowly raises his left hand but flinches before it comes out of the water. Instead, I gently help pick it up to reveal a large gash across his wrist thats still spewing out blood as if it's a water hose.

"Yasir..." I burst into tears yet again as I finally start to feel the coldness of the water encompassing by body. "Please, please let me call for help. Please... I don't want to lose you..."

"Call... Dr. Aba... Abadi..." I could barely make out his words.

"Dr. Abadi?" My mind races to the number he gave me as his emergency doctor back when I first started to work and I quickly grab my phone off of the floor to dial the number. "Hello, is this Dr. Abadi?"

"Hi! Yes, it is." She greets me.

"Yasir..." I try to hold back my loud sobs. "He's..."

"Did he hurt himself again?" Her tone is alarming.

"Y-yes." I answer.

"How serious?" She asks.

"I... I... Please just come by as quickly as possible. He doesn't look..." I couldn't finish my sentence.

"I'll be right there. Make sure you compress his bleeding with a sanitary cloth." It's as if she knew already. "If there's nothing sanitary nearby, than find a clean towel or cloth. Just try your best to block the bleeding. If things get worst, give me a call ASAP. I'm on my way!"

She hangs up.

I need to keep myself together until she gets here. I need to keep myself calm for Yasir's sake because if I breakdown, it's over for the both of us.

Just as I was about to jump out of the tub, Yasir grabs ahold of my wrist, "Don't go..."

His tone of voice is quiet and defeated.

When I tell you it feels like someone ripped my heart out of my chest, its an understatement.

I caress his cheek as he leans his cheek in towards the palm of my hand, making something tug at my heart.

I crouch down to look him in the eyes, "I'll never leave you, I'll always be there for you. But I really have to make sure you live so I can do that. Will you please let me do that?" I ask softly.

He nods.

I come back with the clean towels that I found in the cabinets of the bathroom. I wrap the towels carefully around his wrist in layers but I'm barely able to keep up with blood seeping through. I place his arm on the edge of the tub to hang over in order for it to not touch the contaminated water.

"Can you stand if I help you?" I ask him. It would be safer if I can transfer him to a more comfortable place.

He slowly shakes his head.

I don't think I'll be able to carry him right now, looking at my own state.

God, this is tearing me apart but imagine him... imagine what he must've been holding in to just explode like this.

I climb back in the water, not giving a damn about the contents of it, wrapping my arms around him, gently pushing his head on my chest.

I notice his fingers are still clenched shut, making his bleeding worst.

I softly try to open up his hand and he flinches slightly. He looks away from me just as his fingers unfold.

I quietly gasp as my eyes widen with tears flowing down at the speed of light, at an uncontrollable quantity.

My ring.

The ring I bitterly gave back to him that day while spewing hateful words at him.

He was holding my engagement ring in the palm of his hand this whole time. The whole time he was drowning in his own sea of sorrow, in the depths of Hell. He held the one thing he thought could, maybe, save him; the one thing that could remind him to live.

But it didn't save him—because the person attached to the ring had left... she had left him when he needed her the most. She had left because she didn't want to deal with the wound of his that she chose to open. In reality, she left because she was afraid to cope with the darkness that he brought. She was afraid that his darkness would engulf her along with him. She was a coward.

She is me. I am her.

I'm the coward.

Did I do this? Did I push him over the edge?

"I'm sorry..." My voice cracks. "I'm so sorry I left you when you needed me the most."

"Noor..." My name in his weak voice sounds absolutely devastating. His right hand slowly reaches up to cheek to wipe away the tears. "Whether I live or die, is not your fault and it never will be. It's something I decided because... it hurt... it hurt everywhere and I wanted it to stop."

"You can't be this selfish!" I sob into his shoulders. "You were going to just leave forever without apologizing to me? You're going to do this without telling me that you were wrong and you need me? You selfish bastard! Why would you do this to..." I can't finish my sentence because I start crying even harder.

"You're so foolish, my princess..." He laughs weakly. "Why would you ever come back for a man like me?"

"You're such a little shit! I can't believe I had to come back to check up on you. Why couldn't you come get me for once? Why couldn't you reach out to me first? You could've at least given me a call!" I know this is the worst time to let this out. This is absolutely the worst time, actually.

But I can't help it! I'm so upset, I'm so scared and sad.

"Because you deserve better than me." He whispers as he wraps his arm tighter around my waist, making me feel so weak in his grasp.

"Damn right, I do! But you also deserve better than that churail. Hence, why we got married and I got the shorter end of the stick." I tease slightly you lighten his mood but I'm sure it won't work because I'm still sobbing. "But I also hate when people say to me 'oh, you deserve better' because I know. I'm not stupid, I know! Just like you know you deserve better but sometimes, it can't be helped. Sometimes, it takes time and patience."

I rest my forehead on his, our noses brushing against each other's. I close my eyes, trying to clear my mind before letting my words loose.

"Up until three seconds ago, I thought I deserved better but I don't. I deserve you, you're my reward in life. I was too busy thinking about how selfish you were acting to take into consideration how genuinely you treated me even though you were hurting for years. In fact, it made me feel selfish." I sigh. "You had a million sharp thorns rotting in your heart for so long yet you treated me as gently as you could; trying to make the anarchic chaos around me as calm as possible. You gave me the affection I was craving because you knew it would bring me some form of happiness. You thought you were being selfish but in reality—in reality you were in the position of a giver yet again and it brought you pain yet again. You enjoy making others happy but it never works in your favour; it only ever blows up in your face in a cruel manner. That's how it was for you in high school and somehow, it's still the same, isn't it?"

I open my eyes again to meet his, which are wide open from everything I just said.

"Noor... I..." He can't find the words because what I've said is exactly what he's been running from.

His eyes are filling with tears, his mouth partly open. But, suddenly, his eyes start rolling back in his head as his hand slips off of my waist.

"Yasir? Yasir!" I try to shake him awake but there's no movement.

I don't think I can even feel a pulse.

No, no, no, no, no.

My hands are instantly numb, so numb that I couldn't feel my nails digging deep into my skin, drawing blood.

My body is frozen, and it feels as if I'm slowly losing my own conscious.

Ya Allah, please save Yasir. I didn't even get to tell him I lo—

"Mrs. Noor Khan?" I hear a faint voice coming from the doorway. "I'm Dr. Abadi."

- - -

- A/N -

• Thank you so much for your patience, guys!

• So... what's your opinion on this? How's your attitude towards Yasir or Noor now? Anything you would like to say to them [the characters]?

• Y'all prolly wondering why neither of them have confessed their love yet... well, y'all gotta wait a little bit more.

Next Update: Friday and Saturday, Insha'Allah!

Please vote and comment and let me know how y'all feel!!