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Breathe
*Edited
So hoping you'll have a laugh.

*******************

This shit ain't fair. I ask Daphy to give me a ride because I'm too lazy to do it my self. I have a butler who'll drive all the way from my family estate who's willing to give me a two minute ride.

I won't do that that's disrespectful Bernard needs sleep he has kids to raise.

Daphy passes me a water bottle. " You feeling ok?"

Am I feeling okay? Gulping down the water I respond. " Do you think my parents will disclaim me if they found out I tricked them with a stripper?"

Daphy breaks out in a smile," I don't know it'll be even weirder if they don't."

How am I supposed to trust a stranger for one. Second, why should I?! I'm a grown adult,but lets be real.

I need my parents money.

Until I get a job of my own I can't do anything. My savings are for my retirement fund. You never know. You might be born rich, live rich, but one day you can be suddenly poor. I need something incase.

If the great depression happen over night, can you honestly say, "I'll be fine?"

Saying goodnight to the girls I climb out the limousine. Half asleep, I'm tired so tired.

That emergency lawyer call we had to do, kept me from turning it in early. Had to sign a contract stating our agreements and are relationship in front of my parents. Also if word got out Paisley Daniels had a fake boyfriend. It'll be a huge scandal in my parent's world.

Opening the door with my key, I stumble out of my clothes. Undressing while going to my room.

My hat, Jordans, socks , sweater , sweat pants , shirt, my bra. Grabbing an oversize shirt I somehow manage to fall asleep blissfully.

"Sweetie wake up." A loving gentle voice calls to me. Wait sweetie?! I open my eyes to Yuri.

The fuck did this happen?!

I'm shocked to hear my self replying," Baby I'm tired."

I called him baby? Purtur I swear I don't know what happen.

Gently pulling up in a sitting position, he smiles while massaging my forehead. "Come on let's start the day."

This is not so bad actually. If he really acted like this, I'll be set.

"You've got to take our 20 kids to school sweet heart." Say what now?!

Did I hear him correctly, 20? Shit to the hell, no not today! Hell no! Find them a baby sitter, better yet bring out the hidden cameras.

"Ok baby when your right, your right." When he's right he's right? Are we in the 50's?! God no this is not my type of world.

I struggle to climb out of bed and get dressed. Going down to the kitchen opening, the fridge to find my eggo gone.

My eggo gone? Shit this gotta be a dream. I look at the probably 10 kids in the kitchen and look at one of them. None of their names pop into my head, I'm like the worst mom ever.

"Uhm children who took mommy's eggo?" Giving them a pouty face.

The one kid I looked at shrugs,"Bitch I didn't take your shit. So go on somewhere." Oh that one is definitely not mine, if he is, he's a dead mine.

He clearly just took out an eggo out the box that said, "Mommy's." On it, Who's child is this? I am dead serious.

Worst part he looks around 5. A girl child turns to the boy and smacks across his head. " 15 stop being so mean to mommy."

15? As a name? I mean 15 in a different language ok?

Please tell me I'm not so ratchet to be naming my kids numbers. For god sakes it's naming not called numbering."

"Shut up 5 I'll talk to the whore however I want."

"The whore?" Not even that shocked me like the way, I just casually accepted it.

I thank "5 " for defending me. What the heck kinda messed up world am I in. A child has to defend me from "my" other child?!

Clapping my hands,"Ok children time to go to school."

I ask five," How do I usually do this?"

"Oh Mommy why are you being so silly, it's always the first ten then the next."

I'm counting by deci's what the fuck were me and Yuri doing. How the shit did I handle all of this? Did I give birth to every single one of them?!

" OKAY CHILDREN STOP ARGUEING GET IN THE CAR!" I start "nameing" the kids that get in checking them off my list.

"1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,11, wait you go back 10 is next know your numbers." The fact that I can easily say that should put shame in my soul.

You know when they are 18 they'll get actaul names as a going away present. I'll do that to try to make up for my failure as a parent.

If this is hard for me, how the hell does the teachers do this?

I ended up taking two trips to the house to drop the kids at school. Right when I'm going to fall asleep Yuri adjustes his work bag.

"Honey take care of the kids." I took them to school I'm done.

"They are all at school." A huge sigh of a relieve leaves me shakily. Like I'm not truely done.

"No sweetie ,you're so funny. That's why I love you." He pinches my cheek, and nudges my nose. That's disgutingly cute. I end up making a face.

"Our 10 baby infants remember." Turning my cheek to look at a row of baby boosters with crying and messy babies on them.

How many of them, did I pop out at a time?

He rubs my stomach. That's when I notice why I have been struggling to move all day. Looking down I have a huge pregnant stomach."

Kissing me," And protect our 10 more." He leaves for the door but back tracks.

I'm getting dizzy, 40 kids or maybe it's 30 kids. I must be loosing my mind.

"Oh yes, almost forgot. Izzy, Daphy and Kenzo are coming by to drop each of their 20 kids." He says while smiling, Is this funny to you? My suffering is hilarious.

My head it's getting dizzy. " Too many kids, too many kids! I'm not pregnant, I'm not pregnant!"

I faint, feeling Yuri rush to my side before I black out.

Falling off the bed with me screaming, " I'm not pregnant!"

My eyes slowly open to someone pokeing me,"Ayo, wake up."

I crawl off from the ground with my hair looking like some type of over used rug.

To look into the eyes of a semi concerned Yuri.

My baby daddy.

************
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Breathe
So this chapter I liked editing because for some reason I found it extremely funny. Maybe because I've been binge watching ," I didn't know I was pregnant." I find most of the episodes funny as fuck, until there's a baby in the toilet that's just gross. I'm pretty sure it's the titles that get me. "Baby in sweatpants"," Baby in pants." What's next, "Baby in shorts?" Anyway hope you enjoyed the chapter as much as I did.