TW: PTSD
[I have time and want to give y'all time for asks, asks are still open! Feel free to comment there if you wish ^^]

[Requested] [Well would you look at that? I'm actually doing the requests!?]

Michael knew he should have been there. He should have been there with open arms, holding the boy tight to him. There to hear the stories, there to...well, there to be there.

But he wasn't.

Jeremy, after two years working as a Marine was finally back, waiting for a ride at the airport from his father, probably expecting at least Michael to show up if anyone at all- and Michael was laying here on his bed staring at the ceiling of his apartment room. He knew Mr.Heere would probably be late, after all he was getting pretty old by this point- if Jeremy had had kids he'd be a grandfather right now, so Michael couldn't blame him if he took the wrong turn or such.

It was kind of stupid in a manor. Michael lived nearly twenty minutes from the airport that Jeremy was waiting in. Mr.Heere lived an hour away. And Michael could tell anyone, he felt guilt as all of hell. But he couldn't go, he just couldn't. It hurt to much to see Jeremy...way too much...

That's the problem with one-sided love. It's one of the suckiest feelings of all time.

And it's scary- scary to think that if you slip up, if you tell them, if something- anything- happens. It could be over. Just like that.

So Michael was staying home. He hadn't talked to Jeremy in years nonetheless, so it would be awkward-right? Of course, Jeremy had called him or requested his college to give the school phone for him to talk- but Michael had always claimed he was busy or couldn't or that he just wasn't there. It was a pretty crappy move on Michael's side of the friendship and he honest to anything did indeed feel guilty, it hurt, hurt like nothing and everything- but surely less than the pain of love, right? Right.

Michael sighed, opening his eyes when his phone began to buzz, he looked over, expecting to see one of the hundreds of thousands of texts that Jeremy had been sending him- he sent them nearly everyday, telling Michael he was okay, asking how he was doing, tell him how he felt...Michael never responded...but he never deleted the texts either- he read every single one of them. Every day. And again, it hurt.

However, this time, it was a phone call- Jeremy did that too sometimes, but had stopped after the first five months of trying to avail. But this wasn't the ringtone that Michael had specifically for Jeremy- the apocalypse of the damned theme song- it was the regular carnival ringtone for every other person on his contact- other than his Ma who had the ringtone of Mom Alert.

No...wait,..This was Mr.Heere calling...?

Michael immediately picked up the phone and answered it, worry filling his mind, "H-Hello?" He swallowed.

"Ah! Michael, my boy! Long time no- talk?"

"Y-yeah- Hi Mr.Heere- is everything alright?" Michael ran through to hundreds of possibilities, all having to do with something happened to Jeremy.

"Yeah..." Mr.Heere sighed.

Michael's heart dropped.

"I'm stuck in traffic and I'm a bit afraid of leaving Jer at the airport by himself for too long, I know you live nearby- could I trouble you as to take him to your place for a bit? It'd be a big help?"

Michael froze, the good part was that Jeremy was okay, that bad part was...Michael, number one friend who hadn't talked to the other in two years now has to be his host. But it wasn't like Michael could decline. He knew what Mr.Heere meant, Jeremy had developed PTSD over the course of his time as a Marine, even when he wasn't fighting he could hear it- smell it- know that it's there. Death. Inevitable death and death of his companions...he needed someone there, so-

"Y-Yeah- I'll be there." Michael nodded.

"I knew I could count on you, son!" Mr.Heere chuckled into the phone.

"Mhm..." Michael sighed, hanging up with a polite goodbye. He then proceeded to put his phone in his pocket and head outside to the Main Street, ambling towards his PT cruiser and hopping inside. He tapped his hands on the steering wheel before starting the ignition and heading towards the airport.

***

Michael looked down at his phone, Mr.Heere had texted Jeremy's location and he was now pulling up to the corner, he didn't look up, he didn't want to find Jeremy, to feel and remember that rush of joy whenever his eyes landed on the boy. However, before he could manage to do or look at anything, his passenger-side door opened.

"So, since when do you drive a PT, da-?" Jeremy practically fell onto the passenger's side, causing the door to slam loudly.

Michael looked down at his feet. Mr.Heere had obviously only told Jeremy the brand of car that would be picking him up- not who.

"M-Michael?" Jeremy's voice cracked.

"H-Hi..." Michael's voice was but a whisper.

"Michael...?" Jeremy's eyes widened.

"The...one and only..." Michael dared and looked over at Jeremy, blinking in surprise when he saw that the boy was crying. Out of all that he'd been through- now he was crying? Michael just began driving before he let anything slip.

Jeremy hastily went to buckle himself before looking down at his feet.

"So...how are you...?" Michael swallowed awkwardly.

"...You know...same old..." Jeremy murmured, wiping his eyes a bit.

"I...don't really know..."

"O-oh- Right...yeah just...trying to keep moving forward I guess..." Jeremy sighed.

"Mm." Michael hummed with a nod.

"...Michael..."

Michael glanced over at Jeremy, "Yeah?"

"...H-How are you?"

Michael felt the impact of the question. He understood almost immediately, the tone the sorrow layered voice. He shook his head, "I was just busy, Jer..."

"For two years?" Jeremy's voice was back to cracking sadness.

"C-college is hard..." Michael was nearing his house by the time this conversation had picked up.

"Michael...I know that you ended college last year..." Jeremy sniffed.

Michael could feel the ball of guilt forming in his stomach.

Jeremy shook his head, "Whatever...if you don't want to tell me then that's...fine...but...please just...be there for me now?"

Michael nodded, "Of course."

"...Okay..." Jeremy sighed.

***

"So...this is my happy and humble home right Heere." Michael grinned.

Jeremy nodded, "Puns."

"Feel free to...sit down on the bed because...well...I wasn't really expecting company so I don't have chairs." Michael smiled sheepishly.

Jeremy smiled, "I think a real bed will be nice for a change." He flopped down onto Michael's bed and sunk into the soft sheets, "I haven't got a lot against mattresses but...two years of them and you start to miss your own bed."

Michael nodded, laying down awkwardly beside him, not much room left since it was only a one person bed, "Yeah...I can understand that, I guess it's not always that fun, huh? Away from so many things that are just...normal and...we're just underestimating it and-" Michael paused when he began to hear small, shaking cries. Glancing down he saw that Jeremy had pulled himself into a tight ball and was letting out cries into his knees, "J-Jer?"

Jeremy shook his head, "I-I c-can h-hear th-them." He sobbed out.

Michael hesitated to put a hand on Jeremy's shoulder, "Head what Jer, hear what?" He swallowed nervously.

"Th-their screams..." Jeremy whined out.

Michael felt his heart fill up with pity and sadness. He let out an inaudible groan before deciding upon laying his hand to the boy's head and running his fingers through the hair.

Jeremy almost instantly calmed down, if only a little bit, it was still something.

"It's okay, Jer...it's okay...I'm here, alright?" Michael rubbed small circles onto Jeremy's back, "Just focus on me and breath?"

Jeremy nodded.

Michael took in deep, slow breaths to give Jeremy a pattern, "Its okay, just look around the room...pick out five things you see, okay?"

Jeremy blinked, sniffling, "I-I see the sheets."

"Good, four more things."

"A-and the AOTd-D poster- and th-the window and...y-your sweatshirt..." Jeremy began fiddling with the hem of Michael's sweatshirt, "And...y-you?" Jeremy looked up at Michael, tear stains still along his cheeks but his crying has ceased.

Michael smiled through a small layer of blush, "Yeah..."

Jeremy nodded before cuddling into Michael's side and wrapping his arms tightly around the other boy's waist.

Michael blinked down in surprise before smiling softly at Jeremy, placing an arm around his shoulder.

"I-I just r-really missed you..." Jeremy buried his face into Michael's side.

Michael felt guilt tug at him once again, "I-I'm...sorry..."

"But...why?"

Michael looked down and winced when he saw the sheer pain in Jeremy's eyes.

"I...I didn't want to..." Michael tried to look away but something kept him from doing it.

"Then why did you?" Jeremy pleaded.

"...It...it just hurt to talk to you, Jer..." Michael frowned.

"It hurt not to talk to you." Jeremy's hug tightened to reassure him Michael was really there.

Michael could feel the words tugging at him in his throats. Three words that he'd been dying to say for years. And finally-"

"I loved you."

Jeremy was silent before releasing his hug on Michael, "Oh..." He looked forward, "I...I see..."

Michael waited patiently for his response, his official response that is, "A-and you?"

"Well...what does it matter now?"

Michael blinked in confusion, he'd just confessed to Jeremy- how did that not matter, "I'm sorry?"

"I-it's okay Micha, I understand..."

"You're acting like it's a bad thing?" Michael furrowed his brow.

"I'm just a bit disappointed...that's all." Jeremy shrugged awkwardly.

Michael felt a stab in his chest as Jeremy scooted a few inches away, "W-well I guess I expected that uh..." He squeaked when a loud honk sounded outside.

Jeremy groaned, "It's my dad I-" He got up and headed towards the door, stopping once he reached it, "I uh...I love you Micha..."

Michael's breath hitched as Jeremy exited. He practically threw himself across the room and pushed Jeremy against the doorframe.

Jeremy let out a small scream, "Michael what the fuck!?"

"Jeremy what to fuck!?"

"What!?"

"What!?"

Michael cleared his throat, motioning to Mr.Heere that they'd be a few minutes and getting a thumbs up. Then closing the door he released Jeremy, "You're confusing the hell out of me."

"I could say the same!" Jeremy whimpered.

"Explain." Michael leaned against the wall opposite of Jeremy.

"I-I love you- n-no hom-"

"Yes homo."

"W-well you said loved S-so I-I said love and then it was awkward and- S-sorry."

Michael slapped his hand against his own face, cursing himself for using the past-tense word, "Oh my god, Jeremy."

"Y-yeah?"

Michael took a breath before looking at the boy in uniform, "loved as in I loved you which is why I didn't talk to you and love as in I still love you."

Jeremy's face immediately went red, "O-Oh I- hold on-" Jeremy opened up the door and yelled something to him before turning back to Michael, "I'm sleeping over by the way."

"Oh...that's fine I guess..." Michael looked at his feet.

"I-I need- we need it." Jeremy sat down on the edge of Michael's bed.

Michael sat beside Jeremy.

Jeremy laid his head on Michael shoulder. It was something unspoken.

But that's love.