TW: Cutting/Self-Harm/Mention of death/suicide
***
Michael rocked back and forth in the school's smallest bathroom.
It was perfect,
Third floor of the 2000s building, an unmarked door at the end of the hall that was actually a bathroom.
Nobody would come in.
Nobody would notice.
It was perfects
In such a terrible way.

Michael sat in the corner of it, cold tile floor and an eggshell-colored wall. The white lights of the bathroom were nearly blinding but served well as a distraction. They took away his capability to focus, so when the blade hit his wrist, he hardly noticed.
There was a quiet hiss of pain- but an odd feeling of a lack of pain.
Old scars were retraced.

What the hell were you thinking, Mell?
Stupid,
Stupid,
Stupid

With everyone repeat of the word, a new slash to his wrist.

One for when he ignored you
Two for when he continued
Three for when he will
Four
Because you deserve it.
God, you KNOW you deserve it. You don't need a fucking reason, just your existence, dear buddy.

Michael didn't need a SQUIP to corrupt his brain, he just needed his self-doubt.
It was just as powerful if not more.

It was hard to tell where the rolled up sleeves of Michael's hoodie started and where the trickle of blood ended. They were all just a blur.
Michael's eyes were fuzzy with water and he glasses were crooked.

However, what he hadn't been aware of was the anxious boy looking for him.
The cause and solution to his problems.

Jeremy jogged quickly around the school campus, not having found Michael during their break period which was now coming to a close. He debated yelling Michael's name down the partially-full hallways but knew better than to try and drown-out the buzz of the conversations taking place. From experience, it wouldn't work.
That experience that Jeremy had was what made him worry.
Last time Michael had disappeared for no apparent reason, he'd nearly hospitalized himself.
This drove Jeremy to pick up just pace to a brisk sprint.
He racked his mind for any idea of where Michael might be.
And then he recalled the events of last week.

"I'll be right back- keep watching it until the end, dude, you won't believe what happens!" Michael chuckled as he jogged away from where Jeremy sat on the sofa in his basement, watching some dumb, yet adorable, cat meme that Michael just had to show him.
As soon as Michael left, Jeremy exited the video.
Michael had made the mistake of leaving his phone unlocked to show Jeremy the video.
Jeremy slipped into his contacts and quickly changed his name to The Raddest Dude, such a madlad, that Jeremy Heere.
He heard Michael's footsteps returning with refreshments and quickly tried to exit out of the screen. His thumb slipped on the share location: outstandingly, causing Jeremy to quickly try to reverse it before Michael neared, and Jeremy was faced with no choice but to swiftly switch back to the car videos.
For all Michael knew, Jeremy had simply changed his contact name.

Jeremy pulled his phone out as he presently stopped in the hallway. He fumbled around before locating Michael.
The phone would only show where he was on the flat side of things, not what floor.

"North side of the 2000s building...got it." Jeremy panted to himself, quietly, before beginning his trek into the building and up the separate flights of stairs, beginning to check each bathroom.

Michael couldn't tell up from down or left from right when he hit the floor. All he knew was the he couldn't feel anything from his shoulders down- and slowly this was becoming true for the whole of his body.
What blurred image he saw was white and red.
If someone was screaming, he couldn't tell if it was his own mouth making the noise or not, but his mind hardly processed it.

Soon blue was added to the equation and a soft hazelnut hue.
Michael giggled at this, the colors reminding him of Jeremy before they all swirled together into a sum of black mass.
Then nothingness.

"Michael...Michael, come on, don't be dead, dude, don't do that to me!" A helpless voice called.

Loss of blood left Michael loopy and he giggled quietly to himself, "Wee woo..." He mimicked sirens.

"Holy shit, dude! You scared the hell out of-" Jeremy didn't finished he sentence as he heaved Michael into his lap.

Michael slowly came to and mumbled something before his eyes focused on Jeremy, "Jer-Bear...?" He smiled, not fully grasping the situation, "Man...why are you crying?"

"You nearly killed yourself, Michael!" Jeremy cried.

Michael shifted his gaze down to his arms, bandaged in layers upon layers of toilet paper, pink around the edges and scarlet red at the center.

"Jesus Christ..." This seemed to ground Michael to reality and he snapped back into awareness, staring wildly up at Jeremy with round eyes, "You...why did you come? I mean- how?"

"I- that doesn't matter- what do you mean why did I come? That's such a stupid question." Jeremy scoffed.

Michael flinched and looked away.

"No- Mike- I didn't-" Jeremy sighed, holding Michael in his arms with some struggle, his lithe frame hardly able to hold up its own weight, let alone the weight of another person.

Michael allowed Jeremy to help him into a sitting position against the bathroom wall.

Jeremy sat down in front of him, "Why would you do this, Micha...? I thought you- you said you were getting better..."

Michael laughed curtly, "Nah, not usually."

"You can't- you can't do this!" Jeremy looked at Michael as if angry.

"Why not?" Michael's eyes narrowed, "Jeremy, I don't even think you have the right to-"

"Why me specifically?"

"God, Jer, you know I like you- and- you ignore it-"

"You like me?" Jeremy choked on his own words.

Michael blinked in disbelief, "You didn't know?"

"Well- you don't exactly advertise it!" Jeremy face turned bright red.

"Umm, I practically do." Michael scoffed.

"Wh-Why didn't you tell me?" Jeremy asked in dismay.

"Gee, Jer, why wouldnt I tell my totally heterosexual b e s t friend I have a crush on him? I think that's the answer to your question." Michael winced as the pain returned to his arms.

"You have the nerve to call me oblivious when you don't- I like guys too, ya know!" Jeremy didn't say this angrily, more exasperated, in disbelief.

"Y-You do?" Michael's face turned a darker hue.

Jeremy grinned in amusement.

Michael grinned as well.

They both looked away and Michael moved his arm to his chest, looking over the cuts and wincing, he began to pick at the toilet paper.

Jeremy moved his hand to hold Michael's, to keep him from picking the toilet paper away.

"I- sorry-" Jeremy stuttered, taking his hand away.

"No- no, stop, wait." Michael took Jeremy's hand back.

The boys held eye-contact for a second before lacing their fingers together.

"I- love you." Jeremy breathed, "Please don't hurt yourself again."

Michael's breath hitched and there was a long, awkward pause, before he realized he should respond, "Um- no, yeah, Jer, I love you too. I do, really."

Jeremy leaned forward and into Michael's chest.

Michael gently wrapped his arms around the boy, feeling safe as Jeremy wrapped his arms around Michael's waist.

"Don't leave me." Jeremy murmured.

Michael felt a sense of bliss overcome him.
He knew in this moment he felt safe. He felt safer than he'd ever felt in his entire life. And he truly believed there was a reason to not go by ways of pain.
Even if this feeling lasted only for today.
It was enough for a lifetime of remembrance.

"I'll never leave you, Jer-Bear.."

"Never?"

"Not ever. Forever and always, I'll be Heere."

They didn't have to worry when the bell rang for class.
It didn't matter.
Right now, the embrace they shared was the only thing that did.

***

Theeeeey're bACK-

Boyf Riends, that is
pretty much only for tonight because I was reading a fic that had this trope of a scene in it, I feel like a lot of fanfics do this so I might as well indulge in another trope Heere.
The most recent take on this trope I read for @/the_drarry_life so like Christ go read their books because they're amazing ((Search then up, I'm not sure who's chill with tags and who isn't but literally you won't regret going and reading their content, it's g r 8))
Anywho
I need sleep
<3
-Jay🤟