P.O.V: Third person limited

Trigger Warnings: cutting, sad Michael, foul language

Michael had tears streaming down his face, thankful that no one had to see him like this. He was looking everywhere for it. His pockets, his drawers, the shelf in his closet, his pockets again. He wanted -no- he needed it. Finally something shiny on his bedroom floor caught his eye. He picked up his razor, rolled up his sleeve and stopped. He remembered what 'he' said. 'He' being one of the only reasons he was only cutting right now.

Jeremy's words echoed in his mind, "Michael, I love you more than plants love water. More than Mr. Reyes loves hot pockets. If you ever feel like cutting, please please call me."

"Sorry, Jer-Bear." Michael muttered through tears as he looked over the hundreds of white scars that flooded his arm. It had been weeks since his last panic attack but... he had to. He pressed to cold sharp metal to his wrist and dragged it along his skin. He hissed from the pain, but after 2 more. 3 more. 4. 10. 20. How many was it now? His arm went numb.

Michael raced to the bathroom sink and rinsed his cuts under the cool water until blood stopped flowing from them. He dried his arm and went back to the basement. He picked up his razor, shoved it in his pocket and wiped a few last tears from his face.

He had just finished rolling down his sleeve when he got a face time call from Jeremy. He plastered a smile onto his face and answered.

"Hey! Jer-Bear!" he exclaimed.

"Whatcha up to, Micha?" Jeremy asked, noticing how red his eyes were.

Michael rushed to think of an excuse. "Uh... I... am... just about to....." an idea popped into his head. "Paint! My... nails?"

Jeremy didn't look convinced. "Really? What color" he asked

"Uh, uh, b-black!" he exclaimed, grabbing some of his black nail polish off of his dresser. He looked at his nails and realized they should be touched up soon. They were chipped everywhere.

Jeremy raised his eyebrows in fake surprise. Really, well that's the color of my soul, so maybe I could come over and get my nails painted too?"

"No!" Michael replied a little too loudly and quickly. "I mean, uh, why not?" he figured Jeremy couldn't actually see his cuts through the camera, and he had his sleeves rolled up. 'He probably just wants to hang out with me.' Michael thought.

"Alright! See ya in a bit, babe!" Jeremy said and hung up.

~~~~~~~~~~~~Time Skip!~~~~~~~~~~~~

Michael and Jeremy had finished painting their nails. Michael stayed true to his lie and painted his black, and Jeremy got his painted white and pastel blue.

As Michael put a paper towel in the trash his sleeve moved a bit revealing a dark cut that wasn't there last week. Jeremy noticed it and realized that Michael hadn't had his sleeves rolled up like they usually were.

"Micha come here," Jeremy said in his 'I-know-what's-up-so-don't-try-anything' voice.

Instantly a salty taste of panic filled Michael's mouth and his stomach decided to hire gymnasts. "Y-yeAh?" he replied, his voice cracking with his answer.

"Uh, c'mere," Jeremy said.

"Uh, okay, s-sure." Michael responded, trying to keep his cool.

Jeremy rolled up Michael's sleeve and gasped at the sight of the cuts. He knew they were there, but he didn't expect this many. He glanced back up at Michael, who's eyes had a look of betrayal. He pulled his wrists away and shoved his sleeve down.

"Go," he said closing his eyes. His expression was calm, but his voice was firm.

"M-Micha if you wanna talk-" Jeremy started.

"I said go." Michael interrupted. His tone became more harsh.

Jeremy crossed his arms. "No," he said defiantly.

Michael was struck. He didn't want to talk about this. Not with Jeremy. He didn't want him to worry more than he already did.

Player 2 sat down on his boyfriend's bed. "I'm not leaving until we talk. You always push me away."

"That's not tr-" Michael began.

Jeremy cut him off. "We've had a serious talk about you once, Micha. I'm making this the second time. And I won't leave until you open up more."

Michael sighed in defeat and sat down next to Jeremy.

"What was it about this time, love?" Jeremy asked, his tone softening almost immediately. He took Michael's hands in his and listened as he began to talk.

"Uh, self worth, and how people could be lying to my face about...about everything." You-" Michael stopped as a tear rolled down his face. He wiped it away and continued. "You could love anyone else. Christine, Brooke, Rich, Chloe, Jake, Jenna. Even Madelyn from not France is better than me. So why do you love me? Why does anyone love me? I-I basically live in the past, I'm a stoner, and I'm just...I'm just a huge loser." Tears were falling down Michael's face faster now, and he broke down crying.

Jeremy was doing everything in his power to get Michael to stop. He was calling his name, but Michael seemed like he was in another room. "It's okay, Micha. I love you! Michael, honey look at me!" he pleaded. He let go of Michael's hands and grabbed his shoulders pulling him into a kiss. Time seemed to stop for both of them. Jeremy went numb. Michael's brain went fuzzy and the panic and sadness in his mind was muffled. Even though they had been dating for three months after 12 years of friendship, this was their first kiss. They had pecked each other on the cheeks, sure, but never on the lips fully. Michael wrapped his arms around Jeremy's waist and pulled himself into his lap.

Jeremy knew that Michael freaking loved when people touched his hair so he began running his fingers through it over and over.

Michael began to hum faintly, his glasses sliding down his face. He pulled away looking up at Jeremy and breathlessly mumbled, "Thank you."

"Anything for you, Player 1." Jeremy replied continuing to play with Michael's hair.

He began humming again, his glasses slid farther down his nose as a blush spread across his face as he leaned on Jeremy's chest.

Jeremy noticed how askew Michael's glasses were so he briefly took his hand out of Michael's fluffy hair to put them aside folded.

Michael shuddered from the loss of contact on his hair, but felt it come back again after a moment.

Jeremy noticed that after a while Michael had fallen asleep so he leaned back soon falling asleep himself.

Hello, lovelies. I hope you enjoyed reading this chapter. Requests are open as always!

-Padfoot