(Michael's POV)

    I sighed as I stared at my phone.

    Me: Ok so quick question, you would tell me if I made you uncomfortable right?

    I bit my lip. The absolute last thing I would ever wanna do is make Jeremy uncomfortable. Hes to precious to do that to.

     Erlier in class some boy took Jeremy's pencil. He wanted to leave it but I'm overprotective and take to much pride in defending Jeremy and making sure he's happy and has his shit together so I couldn't let that slide. I got it back after some arguing. But then they made more fun of us.

    One of them pointed out how I put my hand on Jeremy's thigh and I mean he never objected, but he never said I could..... and then they said something along the lines of "With his consent." And it, and a bunch of other stuff has been bothering me all day. I just needed to know I hadn't hurt him.

     Mahal ko: I mean probably not
     Mahal ko: I'm a big pussy lol

    He did not know how much that fuck me up. I already had a min panic attack in class and scratched up some skin on my arm.

     Me: Okay, well tell me
    Mahal ko: Well you haven't done anything to make me uncomfortable. And I don't think I'll need to

    Even though he sent that it didn't register and I started freaking out. I felt myself began to shake as tears welled in my eyes. He wouldn't tell me? Holy shit I'm a horrible person! I freak out all the time, I probably push boundaries and- what is worng with me?!

    The frist thing that came to mind was suicide. I've tried to cut myself off from my friends. But there fucking idots or something because they always pull me back in. And then on top of that it hurts them and makes them feel bad. My only way out is suicide at this point. I just need to die! I mean it can't hurt them that much. They'll be there for each other. I mean it will hurt Jeremy a lot, but he'll get over it. I'll give him a year at most. And then I'll be out of the way! And he'll realize that I was doing more harm then good!

    I mean then theres the other worry, that if me and Jeremy break up, he gets with someone else and they make an advance he's to scared to say no, so he let's something happen that he doesn't want to happen.

    Or even worse, it will be me. I'll make an advance and he won't say no and then he'll be scared of me, and we'll have to end it.

    I felt my breathing quicken as I also thought about how people made fun of him today. It was all my fault! All my fuckimg fault cuss I didn't want my pride hurt and I couldn't back down. Cuss I'm an overprotective piece of shit.

    And then I'm a disappointment to everybody with my cut up arms and thighs and legs, my fat my ugly face, my never done hair. I'm always bombarding my friends with my shit but they have enough problems and dont need mine! I'm such a burden!

    I don't know how anyone can see anything in me! I hate it! I hate myself, I hate people at school for being assholes, and I hate my friends and family cuss they're not smart enough to let me die already! I mean they have to give up eventually!

    I let it choked sobs as I clawed at my arms and gasped for air. I sink off the bed to the floor and started slamming my back against the bed as loud sobs left my mouth. What is worng with me! I cant even keep it together for a fucking minute to reply to Jeremy's text so he doesn't think I freaked out. Cuss I always do. I did it the other day and now he's probably never gonna tell me shit again. "I'm fine!" He'll say only to cry or snap at me later. I mean he hasn't done it but he might!

    I don't know if it was the lack of oxygen or if I hit my head.

Everything went black

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AN: Friends of you take the time to read this, text me. I don't wa na argue in the comments but I would prefer for you to  ot say anything just ignore it.

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