with heavy inspiration from "At the Edge of the Universe" by Shaun David Hutchinson.

trigger warning suicide/pills mention, incredibly mild smut warning

"I love you."

Those were the last words I'd heard from Michael Mell before he'd disappeared. Michael Mell, the love of my life, my classmate, my best friend. Gone. Without any trace of anything left behind. Hell, nobody seemed to remember him either. Insane. That's what they called Jeremy. A mad man looking for a boy who didn't exist. Had he been asked out? Yes. He told everyone that he was taken. Taken by a boy named Michael Mell.

He remembered how they would dance stupidly in the rain, or how he would watch Michael play little tunes he was working on, or perhaps even just making out for hours on end, only stopping to pass a joint between them ever so often.

They were so public. Everyone knew about the iconic Jeremy Heere and Michael Mell, and if you didn't, the world seemed so bland. Everyone loved Michael. It was clear why. Michael was incredible in every way. His personality, his looks, his talents, the boy was flawless. And Jeremy got lucky by getting to be the one Michael was in love with. Yes, because Michael existed. He was just missing. Missing to the point even his parents didn't know who he was.

"He's real. Michael is real... Don't you remember when he took me here? I had... I had a panic attack about some pills and Michael drove me here. You met him... Don't you remember?" Jeremy looked confused to his psychiatrist, his eyes almost pleading but at the same time full of rage.

"Jeremy... Sometimes when people are grieving, they make up... Let's say, a character, a character to help them cope. Perhaps that's what Michael-"

"N-No! Michael was real! Everything we had was real." Jeremy cried out, clutching the bottom of his shirt as the man sitting across from him frowned and clicked his pen, scribbling down notes Jeremy already knew. His whole family already knew. Well, his dad at least. His dad worried every night over the boy, knowing Michael couldn't possibly exist but Jeremy would do anything to try to show his dad he was.

"D-Dad... He was right here. He would sit... Right here. And I'd hold his hand over the table while we talked about anything. He saved my life, Dad. I almost overdosed and he saved me. Why can't you-"

"Jeremy, you almost overdosed and Jake saved you. M-Michael... Michael isn't real." He spoke his words shakily, closing his eyes as he heard Jeremy's feet run out the door and slam it behind him. He didn't know where the boy went, he just hoped to anything out there that it wasn't doing any harm to himself or anyone else.

"This was our spot... Our spot together Michael." Jeremy whispered, his eyes blank as he traced into the wood behind him. A small coven of trees, you could peak through and overlook their whole little city. They had initials their names into the tree.

"j.h. x m.m." It had read, but now... Now other initials occupied it.

"e.h. x c.m." No, no this wasn't right. Jeremy's fingers searched all over the tree, seeing no trace of any other initials anywhere near him. Perhaps this was the wrong place? He couldn't have forgotten. Jeremy Heere would never forget anything about Michael. His hands were shaking now, tears rushing down his face. Maybe he was insane. He didn't care. He'd treasure whatever memories he had of Michael until death did them apart.

"Remember when Michael used to walk in just through those doors and have the cutest little skip to his step since he was listening to something?" Jeremy gushed, the table around him holding an awkward silence. Christine cleared her throat softly, smoothing her skirt over herself as she looked over to the rest of them in dismay. Jake just shook his head, and Rich was staring blankly into the distance after becoming all too numb to the topic.

"Jer..."

"Oh, I know you don't think he's real but... But you loved him almost as much as I did- do. Almost as much as I do. Christine... You would put his hair into little braids and... And he actually wore them all around for a day." Christine shook her head this time, looking to Jeremy and giving him a quick pat on the shoulder before rushing to her next class that she would be ten minutes early to.

"What's up with her?" Jeremy laughed nervously, but Rich and Jake had already started packing their bags. Jake ruffled Jeremy's hair while Rich looked sympathetically. And here Jeremy was. Alone. Again.

Jeremy sat looking out the window, the rain splashing on his face. He smiled, remembering how much Michael loved the rain. Jeremy would complain a little about the feeling of the wet clothing sticking against his body, but his love for Michael overcame that quickly.

"You hear that, Jer?" Michael yelled over the thunder. The two had bunkered down in their spot in the forest to watch a quick storm passing over. Jeremy nodded quickly, scared as he saw Michael out in the open.

"I love you more than all of this!" He spread his arms open, his hoodie riding up on his stomach a little and causing Jeremy to blush. He ran out to join Michael, enveloping him in a deep kiss and holding the other boys waist tight to his own. The two had managed to stumbled back to their coven, madly in love as clothing came off all around them.

They had made love. In the pouring rain. And lived to keep the story private to themselves.

"We were outside, all of us, watching the sun set one night and not coming back till it came back up. Those stars... I'll never forget them." Jeremy whispered to Christine, smiling weakly to her as he doodled the little scene onto the paper in front of him.

"Jeremy, what are stars?" She looked nearly disgusted, looking to his paper as if it were such an alien thing.

"You mean you don't know what those-"

"Heere, would you please keep your thoughts about whatever a "star" may be until after class." The teacher nearly bellowed, causing Jeremy's face to go red hot with embarrassment but also a look of disastrous confusion over his eyes.

"The fuck did he say? A star? Is that some sort of food?"

"Sounds hot."

The comments trailed on and Jeremy knew. He ran from the class room, out from the school and not stopping even after the calls came behind him.

The place. The place he and Michael shared. He sat where many trees once surrounded... But now there were less. No stumps. No signs of anything or anyone having come and visited it anytime recently. He waited, all day until the moon... The moon was gone. Thoughts rushed through his mind, knowing it was supposed to be full. Instead of a sky, now a dark void material covered as far as the eye could see into the sky.

"Stars." Jeremy's breath was short and he knew again. Shrinking. The universe was shrinking and soon everything would be gone.

"It's shrinking! It... It really is! Remember the stars? The sky? You have to remember my dad. You can't forget about Joe. He paid for all of these sessions! How could you not remember him?" Jeremy didn't notice he was yelling, and his psychiartrist just shook his head.

"No, Jeremy. Your foster family's insurance is paying for you to come here. We're going to up your dosage."

"I'm not taking the pills. Michael had to save me last time I took any pills."

"You don't have any history of overdosing."

"Fine. Jake saved me from when I tried to overdose."

"Jake?" No. No this wasn't happening. Jeremy's fingers flew to his phone, but it wasn't there. Why would a phone exist when the stars didn't? Why would a shitty piece of technology do in a world that didn't have Michael Mell in it?

"Give them this. Best regards." The psychiatrist smiled weakly, handing Jeremy the prescription as he walked out.

That was the last he saw of any psychiatrist.

The few weeks can't be described. Everything is disappearing. Monday, books are gone. Tuesday, what is a school? Wednesday, Rich. Thursday, buildings. Except Jeremy's. Friday... People. People are gone now. Saturday... Saturday's horizon never came.

Jeremy was sat in the middle of the small area of trees that still existed. His trees. Michael's trees. He was rocking back and fourth as he could hear the deafening silence all around him. Nothing. That was all there was. Nothing left in the universe except Jeremy Heere. How could this of happened? What horrible thing did Jeremy Heere do that he deserved to be eternally damned to this form of punishment? His hands clung around a sweatshirt.

A red sweatshirt.

How had it gotten there? Jeremy couldn't answer that. It had patches scattered all over it.

Michael. This was Michael's sweatshirt. Michael's warmth. Michael's smell... And a little heart patch. Their five year anniversary. Jeremy kissed the patch, as if remembering Michael's sweet lips on his own.

The silence grew louder, and Jeremy was pushed against their tree and he felt the carvings of their initials pushing against his back. He cried out, but sound didn't exist.

Now it's over. The void stays still. It doesn't move, it just let's Jeremy stare into it with hoodie in hands and tears streaming down his face.

It was giving him the option. Face whatever the void brings or live alone on a single area of land for as long as eternity.

It sounds easier than it is. Who's to know what's beyond the void? An alternate reality where life is worse than it is now? Suffering? Pain? Michael? Michael. Michael could be on the other side of the damn void.

He could wait out his long death... If death even came. Or he could see Michael. Maybe. Maybe if he had the smallest chance he could...

See Michael. His feet reached up, his body stood up straight as he faced the void. His breath caught, and his mind, fully aware, let his body step in.

A subtle hum and he was back. Back at the start of senior year. Everything was the same... And there Michael was. Smiling as he walked in next to Christine and laughing about who knows what.

Jeremy rushed to Michael's side, enveloping him in a hug. Tears came pouring down his face, looking to Michael with the most desperate happy he had ever experienced.

"Michael Mell...." He reached to kiss him when he was carefully pushed away.

"W-What?"

"Jeremy Heere... We broke up at the end of last year."

//

a.n: this. SUBTLE EXPLANATION: basically jeremy's way of coping was pretending it didn't happen and then like it's supposed to not make sense ?? like they'd been broken up when it starts shrinking but jeremy just didn't remember it so :(((