You will always be the one I loved

Neil's steady breathing fell on Avni's neck as he comfortably positioned his head on her shoulder, giving her nerves some bizzare sensation.

His one hand wrapped around her arm, while his other hand played with her hair, sending tingles down her toes.

She knew that if she stayed any closer to him, she would lose the control she was attempting to maintain; unfortunately, she couldn't jump out of a moving car or push Neil away because of his state, and she didn't know how he would respond if she tried.

Avni: Why did Neil need to get drunk? And if he wanted to drink, he could have had a couple of drinks, right? Didn't he think twice before executing this act and drinking so much alcohol? She thought.
"Well, what would a broken soul do if you shattered their heart into little pieces? He is unlikely to be able to think clearly after you crushed his feelings with your cruel words." Her inner self scowled. 

Avni tightened her fists. If she had been alone, she would have told her inner self to shut up, but deep down she knew she was the reason of Neil's condition.

Feeling Neil brush the end of her hair across her face like a paintbrush, Avni inhaled deeply and took an enormous breath.With a squeaky sigh, she released Neil's hold on her hair, ending the sweet pain he was inflicting on her.

Avni: How long will it take us to get to your flat, Advay?

Advay: Not much longer, Avi; we'll be there in no time. He said flashing her a smile through the rear view mirror.

Neil: Why is this driver calling you Avi? I don't like it when he calls you 'Avi' Only close people are allowed to call you by that name. Out of no where Neil said with a very peeved tone showing his dissatisfaction.

Avni: Neil Chup. She said placing a finger on her own lips gesturing him to stay quiet which Neil grabbed it in his hold intertwining their fingers. He beamed his eyes glowed at Avni, like he haven't gotten piqued a second ago talking to Advay. It seems like there is a turn on turn off switch to his emotions which does his mood change in instant. Avni kept staring at Neil few more seconds before she blinked away sighing.

Few minutes later Advay drove into the parking area which was only for
residential use.

Advay: Avni, you seem at ease there. Advay turned around as he turned off the engine to see Neil's eyes half closed, his face closer to her collarbone, and his hand wrapped around her in a protective manner.

Avni: A lot. Thank you; now that we have here, you can definitely remove that teasing smile from your face and help me. She replied sarcastically.

Advay shook his head, smiling, before exiting the car and opening the door from Neil's side.

Advay: Oh my, it seems like detaching himself from you will be really difficult, he added.

Avni had no idea she was holding her breath all this time; anytime Advay turned left or right on those bumpy roads, she felt Neil's lips touch her skin like a light touch, leading to havaco in her body.

Advay: Umm... Avi You may return from your dreamland and can help me with this friend of yours, he continued, almost pulling Neil out of the car.

Avni: Shut up Advay she said getting down from the other end and fastened up to help him.

Advay: Tonight appears to be my fortunate day. Avni Metha has told me to shut up multiple times in various ways, he stated once as they were both holding Neil.

Avni: What have I gotten myself into. A helpfully pestering Advay and a mischievously intoxicated Neil. Can my night get any better?' she wondered as they walked towards Advay's apartment.

*

Advay: Crap he is so heavy. Advay blew out a heavy groan hauling half-passed out Neil to his guest bedroom. Neil's one arm around Advay's shoulder one around Avni's.

Avni: Not more than you I guess. Avni spat out. Neil is heavy. It's getting them a whole lot of work to drag Neil inside when he is like this, drunk.

Advay: Yes you ungreatful girl. Mock me when I'm the person helping you and your this drunk of a friend....or penfriend god knows what. Sulking over Advay rolled his eyes showing his annoyance.

Avni
Advay left a few minutes ago leaving me and Neil in this guest room of his. The room is quite spacious, well decorated with classy, pastel wall colours. Lighting is perfect not too bright for eyes neither too low to look dark. Just like my room is, I like this kind of shadow effects these yellow lights create. He has a fantastic sense of house decoration I must say, or surely he might have hired a interior decoration team. The furniture are of latest design, expensive.This is the first time I stepped in his house. I knew he is rich but now being in his house, in this room there is no doubt left in me.

I think I should leave now. Thinking of leaving I pulled my gaze back to Neil. And to my surprise I saw his eyes opened.

I was standing few feet away the bed we made him laid. His head on the pillow, his hands were crossed under his head for support or for a better look I guess, his eyes on me. It seems like he was watching me the whole time when my eyes were taking a tour of the room.
To my nonplus state instantly now he is wide awake. Is this the whole time he was pulling an act? Fooling me and Advay? But why would he do that? 
"As if you don't know the reason" my inner self rolled her eyes skyward mocking me. 
I swallowed down a lump forming in my throat when my attention shifted to the arm he pulled out of his head and it beckoned me to come closer him.
What does he want now? My face pinched together watching him in confusion. My skull prickled, lip pulled in between my teeth under my thumping heart. 

Having no other way to escape this one, drawing in a deep breath I reluctantly did what I sensed I was asked to do, through his gesture. He is asking me to walk to him. 

And the moment I walked closer to the bed with one swift movement grasping my wrist Neil pulled me down and I toppled flush against him. A loud gasp blew out my mouth in response to such unpredictable move.
My hands flat on his chest, Our face too close. I forgot to breath.
Everything freezed.

*

 "Don't you feel bad when you see us together? When she hug me and I hug her back, don't you feel like yanking her away and wrap your own arms around me instead? 
Tell me..." He pushed a strand of loose hair behind my ears which got loosened out from that sudden fall.

"No I don't feel bad. I do not want you." I muttered scowling. I have never felt my heart race this fast before, still I wriggled to get out of his hold pulling my face a bit farther in a safe distance.

"Liar!" He scoffed. His hold tightened around my waist dangerously.
What the hell!

"I love Advay..." My voice came out raspy being this close to him. I blurted out this to make him realise the reality but he totally ignored me with his another rant. This time my heart did summersault in response to his words he uttered next.

"Do You know we haven't kissed yet? Tina is not the girl I want to do things with....never..." He said those words with his eyes boring into me, his adam apple blobbed. That voice. That damn voice. Those words. Too intense, lascivious. It can create fire on earth, could burn the whole universe. I felt my breathing turned hot too. I pulled my lips in between my teeth really hard in attempt to stifle not to let out a pleasurable moan that I had no clue I have in me. God forgive me.
Here I am loosing all of my strength of acting being strong, unperturbed. And this man has no idea what his words are doing to me.

"Neil.... listen to me..." my head is swimming, voice shaky deflating my confidence. I swallowed down my dried out throat.

"Because I want you....you have no idea....how much I want you baby" He cooed ignoring my protest to his actions for the thousandth time by now. His raspy voice again did something to my little heart. Fragile heart. 
What the hell is happening?
In this twenty four hours I have heard this word 'Baby' from two different men. When Advay said it consoling me previously felt like normal, too ordinary, but the second it came from Neil I am on the brink of hyperventilation, blood rushing through my veins in a terrible velocity, brain stopped focusing on any other thing but echoing that only word repeatedly.

"Please Neil get off me...this is not right..." It took me everything to gather back my strength to save myself doing this sin. 

"Shhhh....."I was about to put more effort in shuffling beneath him, to get rid of him but before that he shushed me. he pulled my face closer and I swallowed brick this time. His breathing making my inside go frenzy, my heartbeat raised banging my ears. From this dangerously close I can see every flaws, every mole on his skin, he looks more homely, more irresistible. That jawline, holding me hostage. I bit down my bottom lip. His gaze fell on my mouth, the way his tongue swiped around his lower lip took almost my breathing ability. Suddenly the room is too warm to survive.

"Call me in the middle of the night and tell me you can't sleep without me" his raspy voice made my heart leap. My mouth went dry, chest throbbing by the intensity of his voice, his entire facade. 

The Book is a love poem book. 
The day I bought this Book I remembered I had sent him a picture of it. And in reply he sent me a little mail calling me "such a cliche" my eyes widened recalling it.

So it's was to torment me not his real expression? He read it too? Oh my god I'm speechless. My eyes went wide at the recognition I blinked the tears that's threatening to fall down my cheeks any seconds.
After knowing this no wonder I fell for him a little more.  I'm staring at the man I know I'm hurting him the most. But he beamed watching me, my condition. He thought I am being emotional. But the truth is after today he gave me more reasons to hate myself even more. 

"Let it go baby....let it go for once.... tomorrow we will fight again, anyhow it's not that I am going to remember this little heavenly bubble we are in right now, right here" He spoke with so much pain in his tone letting out a husky chuckle, his breathing fell on my lips leaving me forgot to breath, flustered. At this point my senses are hiper active. There is a battle between my logic brain and my emotional heart.  A traitor drop slipped down my eyes hazing my sight, wetting soul. 

"I...." I almost didn't recognise my own voice that came out as a whisper, wavered loosing the words I thought to say when his lips brushed mine, his hands in my hair digging deeper. Oh I didn't realise when he loosened it until now. He threw the band I sensed by a little movement his arm did to get rid of that poor thing.

"You are so pretty...."god his voice again, doing so many things to me. Sexy, intense. I never imagined him this close. Did I?
My breath uneven, shaky so was his.  I closed my eyes. He has no idea how much I wanted to hear it from him. 

"And your breath so sweet...."his last words were before he captured my lips with his. 

Everything got still_ wind blowing ,time moving, our breathing. I forgot to breathe, my body froze the moment his lips pressed to mine.
By the mixture of mint and alcohol in his breath my mind turned dizzy. I liquified.

My body on fire, only the feeling is Neil engulfed me. His touch, his breath all over me.  Our proximity is too much to hold on anything, a bigger part of my brain gave up from remaining tranquil.

This is a dream. Let's live it. Live it for once. My inner self whispered pushing aside my tiny little logical, stubborn mind which is still there somewhere in me . At this point It got difficult to hold on to the act any longer.

So I gave in, surrendered.

My eyes fluttered shut, my lips parted. I kissed him back and I instantly earned a grin from him letting me know that he appreciated my participation. He has won. 

Our lips moved perfectly in sync pouring all the love and soul we have gotten in this tiny stolen moment for us. One is well aware of the reality, and the other one is inebriated, far away from the reality. 

Neil deepened the kiss grabbing my jaw in between his delicate grip, positioning my mouth more into him to get better access. His teeth grabbed my buttom lip tugging it then I felt his hot tongue, that tongue from few minutes ago, sensuously messaged my lips, exploring every nook inside my mouth. A loud groan escaped my mouth freeing everything I was holding this far. This moment is real, this moment is to cherish which will never happen again.
My chest pressed to his hard sternum, leaving an involuntary shiver down my spine, lugging to every nerves awakening in me as if they rose from a deep slumber after thousand years of being neglected.

Nothing to mention I'm loosing it, my toes curled up. Never dreamt of my first kiss gonna be like this heated at the same time full of emotions, thirst. Goosebumps all over my body, his hold tightened around me pulling me as close as physically possible. We kissed god knows how long, we didn't count the time. My heartbeat ridiculously fast, this feeling is heaven. Now I know why people go insane being touched by the person they love. 

He not only touched my body but also there is something that took uncountable shifts after shifts inside of me. This feeling is foreign, no one's words or actions ever affected me the way his did to my fragile heart, to my skin, to my core.

I know there will be no looking back after this. He stole my heart for the umpteenth time by now. He ruined me for any other man I might be dating in future. After this night I don't think I will be able to fall for any other person, ever. I know it well I won't be the same. Nothing would be the same the way it was before, after tonight. 

Me weighing of the probability of him remembering the kiss when he wakes up tomorrow. I pray he doesn't remember a single moment of this night, of us. No matter how itself the thought is heart-wrenching Tina doesn't deserve any of this. My lips quivered at the thought of her. What have I done?

"You fucking ruined me." I heard him mumble through his groggy tone and grinning ridiculously before his body slackened down and he passed out, finally. His arms loosened around me. I huffed out a hefty breath I was holding god knows since how long.

I ruined him! Says who. I couldn't help but scoffed at his statement.

I am too late to be yours Neil. My chest squeezed, stomach sinked at the thought of loosing him again.

When we love someone we have no control, that's how love is, being powerless.

And here we are with another chapter  for some reason I'm not able to tag @NeilAvni_love so please do give her the credit too.

Thanks to those who commented and voted for the previous chapter. We are glad you loved that chapter.

Will be waiting for all the response for this chapter so keep it coming.

Lots of love