⛔️ ⚠️ ❌ W A R N I N G ❌ ⚠️ ⛔️
THE FOLLOWING CONTENT MAY BE TRIGGERING. USE OF DARK TRAGEDY, DEPRESSION, SUICIDE AND TRIGGERING WORDS. KINDLY READ AT YOUR OWN RISK. AND IF YOU FEEL TRIGGERED AT ANY POINT, STOP READING AT ONCE. REACH OUT TO SOMEONE FOR HELP IF YOU NEED IT. IF YOU NEED SOMEONE TO TALK TO, I AM HERE. ALTHOUGH IT MAY NOT BE MUCH BUT I CAN BE HERE TO LISTEN.

It was the eve of Christmas when the city was filled with joy, laughter and lights. People all around the world were celebrating this wonderful time with their friends, family and loved ones. While everyone was enjoying their life and being thankful for all the blessings they have, life wasn't what they all were thinking it was. Not everyone was happy behind those smiles and laughter. Some of those smiles and laughter were fake hiding a painful sorrow that they can't show or tell to anyone.

This is a story about a girl, a girl who's just like everyone else. And just like every one else in the world she was judged. Because hey, people love to judge and make comments on others don't they? They can't live a day without doing this. This is exactly what Ava thought as well, before the night she decided the only way to become free was to finally leave everything.

On the night of Christmas, where everybody was getting ready or having dinner and parties, the same was going on in this particular household where Ava lived.

It was 8:30 pm. The dinner was supposed to start at 8:00 pm and Ava still hadn't come downstairs from her room. Her mother Victoria, like any other mother went upstairs to her room to check on her.

"OH MY GOD!"

She screamed as soon as she opened the door

Past-

Ava was a little girl full of life. She still hadn't seen the world and it's reality so her heart was pure and had not yet been tainted by the cruelty of this society. She loved life and she loved every single blessing in her life and was thankful to her. She was the only daughter and her parents were rich. They were considered as part of the rich community but they were still millionaires and not billionaires.

Her father was a man who was workaholic. He didn't talk much to Ava as he was always busy with work. Ava wanted to play with him but she knew better than to disturb him when he's busy.

Her mother was always busy with her friends and her kitty parties. So she'd left Ava all alone at home.

Ava didn't get bothered by both of their attitudes because she knew that deep down both loved her. So she spent her time playing with her imaginary friends because her parents were strict. They wouldn't allow Ava to go to someone else's place to play nor they'd allow Ava to bring some kid home to play with her.

She was only 7 when her parents had hired four tuitions for her along with she was taking many extra classes including ballet and playing the piano.

That time, the only thing hurt her was the fact that her parents didn't pay much attention to her and never asked her how she was doing. The only question they asked were about her classes and her grades. Ava worked hard to be in the top place because she knew that was the only thing that made her parents happy and she hoped that somehow through this, she will end up getting close to her parents.

As she grew up older and started her teenage years, she finally faced what people called criticism. She was as thin as a matchstick and was so skinny that people called her skeleton. Everywhere she went, she would hear these comments about her.

She stopped interacting with people much and people started calling her rude. They said she had an attitude. Even her own mother said that to her when she refused to go greet her friends because she was tired from all her classes. Everywhere she went, they badmouthed her. But she ignored it all. She thought to herself that I believe in myself and I don't care what people says. I am who I am and if people have a problem with that then that's their fault, not mine.

But despite her attitude, people still never stopped talking.

She remembers one night, it was her 16th Birthday. Now to everyone their 16th birthday are supposed to be special and they have this sweet sixteen birthday party all planned. But Ava didn't want a huge party. She just wanted to spend a nice little evening where her family is together with her.

Despite that, her parents still arranged this huge birthday party for her where all their clients and important business officials were called.

For her party she wore clothes that she was comfortable with. She wore a long sleeves white plain shirt with blue jean and brown sandals. She didn't even put makeup on because frankly she never cared much about it.

But when her mother saw her in those clothes, she scolded her. She told her to at least show a little skin and wear something fancy. And to put makeup on because her pimples were showing.

"Mom, I am fine. It's my birthday. And I think I look good. And as far as pimples go, there's only a teeny tiny one which isn't even that visible." She told her mother as she refused to listen and had her changed into a small skirt with a shirt and even put makeup on her.

She hated having to change herself and acting into becoming who she wasn't. She didn't like ballet or playing the piano. She liked rock punk music better but who would listen to her? No one.

She didn't want to do what her parents were making her doing. But she had no choice. She went along with it because this was society. Everywhere she went, whatever she did. People talked. And people talked a lot. They talked about how she sits, how she walks, how she talks.

As she started growing up, she started gaining a bit of weight. She still wasn't that fat, but people started asking her why has she become a bit healthy. And soon enough they all started calling her fat. And then came all the fat jokes. She fake laughed along with them but deep down it was all affecting her. She said that what people say didn't matter. But deep down, she was talking it all to her heart. She started doing what she never imagined she would do, she started hating herself. She hated looking in the mirror. It disgusted her.

And that's when she stopped eating and started exercising. She went on extreme diet and losing weight mode, so much that she fainted six times in just two months.

And that's when she noticed, whatever she did. Whatever fucking thing she does, it doesn't affect anyone. No one cares. No one fucking cares about her. Yet why do they all judge her. Why do they make comments on every single thing she does? How she walks and talks. Every single fucking thing!

So she had enough. The next day, instead of going to her classes, she went to a bar and stayed there all night getting drunk. She didn't want to think anymore. She was fucking tired of living this life! So she drank. Every night, she went to parties and drank a lot. But this all still couldn't fill the void she was feeling inside. In fact the void kept becoming bigger and bigger. She hated this feeling!

One day when she came back in the morning all drunk, her mother scolded her. She commented on how short her skirt was, and how she was showing so much skin. She told her angrily to cover up. But Ava had enough of this! She finally talked back to her mother. She told her to let her be and isn't she the one who told her to show a bit of skin?
This made her mother even more angry and that's when she asked her to move out. And Ava did move out.

She was still in university but she lived alone in an apartment. And that's when it truly started coming down on her. Every single thing annoyed her. She started doing drugs in hopes to fill that void inside of her. But it didn't help. The void kept on becoming bigger and bigger. She couldn't shake off this feeling.

She had friends. But they were just friends. She shared everything with them but not how depressed she felt. It's because often times she found herself lonely even being with friends. She felt they only focused on themselves. But then she started hating herself for feeling so distant to her friends. Her brain was confused and she didn't know what to feel anymore.

She would wake up at night suddenly, her heart beating fast, she was having difficulty in breathing, she was feeling scared yet guilty at the same time. She tried so so hard not to break every single fucking day! It was like everything was fine. Nothing bad happened to her. She didn't want to die. Yet she didn't want to live like this either. It was torture. Every single damn second of her life she was scared as hell. This anxiety was killing her. It was burning her to ashes from inside. She was losing her mind. She was losing herself. She had panic attacks. It was so frustrating that everything irritated her. She felt guilty as shit. She felt guilty for being alive!!!

And one day, this feeling increased so much that she finally overdosed. She was found unconscious in her apartment. Her parents brought her back into their house and didn't let her go to rehab because they didn't want their reputation to be tarnished.

She told them everything. She literally broke down in front of them. But they all told her it was fine and that she was confused. Instead of hugging her and helping her, they started scolding her for having bad company.

She was then banned from seeing the only friends she had. This increased her panic attacks and her depression. She couldn't sleep at night and started taking sleeping pills just to sleep. She had quit university and was always coped up in her room. Her parents got angry at this and made her forcibly rejoin her university. Which killed her from inside even more. She then did something she never imagined she would do. She had a blog. Thousands of people were her followers. It was part of her high school project which she started continuing.

She wrote a poem. Not one but many poems and posted them every day and night. It was a fucking cry for help! Hoping that someone would save her. Someone would come and help her. But no one did. Instead they all praised her for how good she writes quotes. No one asked her how was she. No one cared about how she was doing or if she needed help. That's when she realised that no one is gonna come and help her.

She had already told everyone that what was happening to her. But they weren't doing anything!

It hurt her.....it all really fucking hurt her. She wanted it to stop. She didn't want to live. Make it stop. End it please. She had gotten tired of begging. Just please make it stop. Whenever it happened, her chest would ache. She felt so blank and she felt like she couldn't breathe. It felt so fucking weird. Tears would just keep falling down.

And her heart would beat fast because she was scared as hell. She was anxious and this anxiety was what was killing her. They told her to face the reality, that don't run away. She didn't want to run away. But she couldn't keep going on facing the reality when she was like this!

Scared as shit for no god damn reason
Her head ached all the time. She wanted to scream! And she wanted to run, run away from every single thing. She couldn't control it longer. She had lost interest in every single thing.

She then spray painted wings on her room's wall. Because she now just wanted to fly.

That night, she smiled at her parents one last time as her mother told her to get ready for the Christmas dinner. She wanted to fly and she knew exactly how to do that. She closed her room's door as her eyes were now dead and she was like a body without soul.

Present-

"OH MY GOD!"

Her mother screamed as she went inside

And that's when she found Ava's lifeless body hanging from the fan ceiling with a rope tightly bound around her neck.

Her mother screamed in horror as she cried for help and then help came as they all put her body down.

Victoria clung on to her precious daughter's body which she couldn't believe was now gone. Her baby girl whom she loved and adored was now no more. This thought made her feel like she couldn't breathe. She cried and cried wishing that some miracle would occur that would make her girl come back. She kept calling her as she wanted her to open her eyes. But sadly, she was now gone. And it was the reality.

Ava's father was devastated as he cried. The little girl who wouldn't stop talking had now stopped talking forever. Oh how he wished he would've hugged her more and told her how much he loved her. And listened to her. But sadly, we all regret it when the time is gone. He looked up at the wall as his eyes went wide in horror. He was frozen. As he couldn't believe his eyes.

On the wall was a black wing spray painted on it. He wasn't surprised to see that because he knew what that was, his daughter had done it a few months ago but on the wings was written with red spray paint;

I AM GONNA FLY
I AM FINALLY GONNA BE FUCKING FREE
MOM, DAD, I LOVE YOU GUYS
BUT I CANT DO THIS ANYMORE
IM TIRED
I JUST WANT TO BE FREE

He couldn't believe his eyes. His lovely daughter had killed herself and he and his wife were to blame. He remembers how she would sometimes come to talk to him about something. But he would always brush her off. If only he listened.

Thats when he got a message from someone saying to check out his daughter's blog which she uploaded an hour ago. And he did.

Be a lady they said. Your skirt is too short. Your shirt is too low. Don't show so much skin. Cover up. Why are you wearing so much? You're too fat. You're too skinny. You're too white. You're too black. Don't sit like that. Don't stand like that. Don't talk like that. Don't look like that. Don't breathe. Be a lady they say.

You know, I've figured out why people would talk on every single thing. Why they would comment on every single thing. Why they are so judgemental. It's because they don't love themselves. They don't love themselves so they make others live their own expectations. When one would love oneself, they would never let people's shitty crap and remarks get to them.

Unfortunately, I wasn't that strong. I even pretended to be strong. But I wasn't. I couldn't do it. I was tired. I'm sorry for being so weak. I'm sorry for being a coward. Mom, dad, I'm sorry for being such a disappointment. But I was tired...

To all those who face the same discrimination, don't be tired. Love yourself for who you are. You are perfect and you are unique. Don't ever forget that. Self love is they key. Love yourself for how you are!

Note;
This one-shot story is about how people make others end their own life. The sensitivity of how a person feels when one says something to them, is different for every person. So don't think no one is hurting. Everyone is hurting in some way. And ending your life is not an answer, it never is. And don't live a life of what you think other's expect you to be! Be original and be true to yourself!
Be strong, be confident, love yourself and spread love! 💓
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