I was searching for my tobacco pipe when I found a paper rolled into it. She must have known that one way or another I'd have a smoke. I had a feeling, I already knew what awaited me. It aggravated me to no end.

Dear Miles

I've contemplated this decision for a while now. I thought it would be best if I saved us both the trouble. We've been together for the past two years and I can not deny that the love grew between us and withered. We've been through so much together. I've watched you happy, broken, upset and the emotions there is. You're kind hearted, you're selfless, you're not judgemental. All the things I wish I could find in any other man. You're compassionate and thoughtful. There is so much I could say about you but truth of the matter is I love you dearly. We do not have to act upon our feelings. I only want you to know how I feel. It has taken me so much courage but suppose, I feel the need to as I see a posed threat between us.

Nora is not a good person. I've seen it all firsthand, she might play stupid and illiterate but she has ill intentions. With all this travelling you've been doing with her, I can't help but feel threatened. I will be honest, she is a rather beautiful girl but not everything that shines is gold. Do not take a while to realise who your heart lays with. I hope you're impressed, thanks to you here I am. Writing you a letter. You cared for me when I was illiterate. You did not judge me, you only pushed for me to better myself. I thought I was special until I heard you did the same thing with Nora but I digress.

I slipped this in your luggage as to surprise you. I hope it finds you in a good mood.

Stay well.
Kiss Lewis for me.

Love
Bea

—

Before Nora entered the room with Lewis in her arms, I quickly hid the letter in the inside pocket of my blazer. Lewis had just finished his bath. He seemed excited and wouldn't stop smiling at Nora. I watched her dress him up. I felt an annoyance goes all over my body. This— whatever it may have been with Beatrice was exactly what I had not planned for it to go. I had helped her learn because I thought it was the right thing to do, same for Nora even though she had turned it down. I thought literacy skills were a must have for anyone, it wasn't because I had a motive to bed them or even worse that I liked them.

"A few more hours Lou..." Nora cooed lowly to Lewis who responded with energetic movements of his arms and legs.

"Will your parents be present?" I asked out of curiosity.

Nora only scoffed. "What parents?! I only have my aunt Ruth."

"Oh..."

"She won't like you." Nora said almost immediately. "Just so you know."

"Why?" I asked.

"I know she won't. Please do not embarrass me. Do not look at me in any way, do not act as if we've done anything, be decent."

I watched her sorely focused on Lou before she lifted her head up and her eyes met mine.

"Do you realise once you've been intimate with someone, every gesture you make can be a quick tell as to how acquainted you're to each other? The way people hug, the way they hold hands, the way—" I stood up to wrap my arms around her from behind. I couldn't help but feel aroused having her in this position. "It's inevitable." She bent down to dress up Lewis clearly ignoring me. At the thought of Nora in my bed, I lost all thoughts of worry and responsibilities.

"It has only been twice, I'm sure it won't be such a quick tell." Nora replied mindfully.

"Once was enough to drive me off the roof."

She turned around to look at me weirdly before turning back to Lou. "You're too open."

"I like to be straightforward."

We awkwardly stared at each other then away. Not knowing what else could be said.

—

The ride was long and harrowing but having Nora to keep me company was more than enough to keep me at bay. She spoke about her aunt with so much adoration. I wondered what life had been for her before London... I'd finally be able to walk in her shoes. She couldn't hide her excitement, it rubbed onto me too. Suddenly I was excited. She spoke of the famous interracial couple that had caused so much outrage and gossip all over England.

"I haven't met their new addition to the family, I'm so glad. I get to finally meet him or her."

"You must love kids..." I replied, puffing away a cigarette. I had not had one in a while, I tried to limit it to once a day as opposed to when I'd have it atleast four times a day. There was no point in keeping healthy for a child I'd never have. I also found it hard to believe that smoking was the cause of my infertility. Perhaps I was just unlucky or very very lucky in any case, it did not bother me as much as it did in the past. Sure, I'd never have a child of my own but I could have countless sexual encounters with no worries.

"You do not?" She flipped the question back to me. She was so dramatic covering Lewis with a blanket all because I had decided to smoke in the carriage. Dramatic or too caring, it was all the same.

"I do have one so I'm forced to. All in all I'm indifferent to kids. They're adorable but also a nuisance. I like kids but I do not love kids."

"You will love Christian, he is very funny and charismatic."

"The mulatto?"

"Hugh!"

"What?"

"Do not call him that."

"A simple question that's all." I shrugged, uninterested.

"What else happens on plantations besides the obvious?"

"Church."

"I see..."

"If you had not came to London what would you be doing?"

Nora smiled at the thought as if thinking. She then turned back to me and said. "Married, pregnant, working as a servant in the Gallagher mansion." At the thought, an uncomfortable feeling sat on my chest making me cough almost choking from the amount of tobacco I had inhaled.

"Would you like that?"

She paused for a moment then briskly mumbled, "I would." There was a small smile on her lips, I could tell someone was on her mind. There had to be someone. She refused to make eye contact with me.

"What's his name?" I asked, a part of me hoped for her to deny my suspicions. I hoped to be wrong.

She smiled broadly then turned to look away. "He is not anything to me."

"But you just admitted that he exists."

There was silence.

"It's Emeka." She blushed. For some reason, I found myself hating the name before I'd even known whom it belonged to.

"If that isn't the most stupid name, I've ever came across." I spoke from bitterness, I did not know where it had revolted from.

"It means God has done so much, it's a beautiful name. I'd name my son Emeka."

Chaffed, I hissed. "Not on my watch!Is it really beautiful or you're simply infatuated by the owner of the name. Goodness Nora, is this what you meant by go home? You wanted to come back to a lover. You never seize to amaze me!" I huffed, the mood had suddenly turned somber.

"He isn't my lover, he is a good friend." She muttered lowly.

"I find it hard to believe."

"Well you were my first so what's so hard to believe? Don't be a nuisance." She said rolling her eyes. I was taken aback by her quick insult. She realised what she had done almost immediately I could tell the regret that swam over her facial expressions.

"You're so disrespectful." I muttered calmly. "You'd better use that mouth for better things. If we weren't in public I'd have bent you over and fucked you senseless."

She bit on her lip, afraid as I shifted in my sat position to face the other carriage window. I could not stand her, I always tried to be calm even in heated moments. For some reason, Nora flinched every time I moved assuming I'd hit her. It made me realise how bad it was where she came from, how horrid it was to live with fear instilled in you. It had been the first, I'd ever been spoken to in that way. I did not like the feeling of being undermined.

As we took a break at the second lodge of our trip. With Lou asleep and everyone else resting in their vacant rooms. I called Nora into mine. We had not spoken since the incident. I did not want to speak either. I gently pressed her against the door as my right hand switched the lock. She melted into my embrace, we kissed with urgency. Neither of us wanted to waste time as we undressed quickly. Knowing Lewis, he could wake up at any moment. I led her hand into my pants, inexperienced she managed to hold my manhood but not the entirety of my girth, she did it with back and forth movements. Her kisses were like honey on a stick, her touch made manhood palpate asking for more. I could not wait to be inside her, warm tight and dew with need for me. I watched her dress fall to her feet, lips so plump, breasts so full, an elegant figure that could make any man melt. I felt possessive over her, this was mine. I could imagine her doing this with any other man but me. Lifting her up into my arms up against the door. She gasped as I teased her with the tip of my manhood. The kisses were delicate. Just when she'd thrust her hips forward, I refused to put it in even when every muscle in my body begged for it.

With her arms wrapped around my neck, she opened her eyes. "Please..." she mumbled against my lips.

"...just a few hours ago I was a nuisance."

Nora laughed in between our kisses. "This is certainly the wrong time to be petty, don't you think?"

Her laugh was contagious, I couldn't help but give in. She kissed my neck, held tight onto me with no intention of letting me go.

"Certainly not." I told her. I could not deny how beautiful she was. Her shorthair suit her perfectly. Her eyes were mesmerising. Her hourglass figure was something I'd never get tired of admiring. My lust wouldn't allow me to  wait. The punishment felt just as horrible for me. When we finally made contact, she let out a desperate whimper as my manhood pushed through her tight wet folds. We both shuddered at how good it felt. I was merciless with each thrust as I held her tightly against the door. Good Lord, she was so perfect. Every sound that escaped her lips, every kiss she laid on my neck, every bite she put on my shoulders and neck desperate for a release. It wasn't long before we'd both given into ecstasy. Breathing hard against the door, I held her up as I released inside her fold just to watch them drip between her thighs. I knew she hated it, I could see the worry on her face. We held eye contact for a moment before she looked away. I had never looked this closely. It was only then I'd noticed her blue eyes with flecks of gold and brown. Pushing for me to put her down, I did. Before I'd even recovered she was already buttoning her dress in quick motions as if embarrassed. She never held eye contact and for some reason, she had managed to always keep her eyes and head down. I'd never seen a dark skinned woman with blue eyes. It was beauty that had me aghast.

"I should check up on Lou."

Pulling my pants up, I followed her as she made her way into my en-suite. Washing her face with cold water. She was back in her long baggy dress that hid all meanders her body held. All the meanders that my body was growing fond of. She stared in the mirror with loathing, I stood behind her unsure what to say and why the atmosphere had suddenly changed.

"Did I perhaps do something wrong?"

"Don't do that."

"Do what?"

"Look at me like that. I think there has to be a solution for this. I can not sleep with you if we're going to be facing each other."

I laughed. "We could try other positions, will that make you more comfortable?"

"Yes, as long as I don't have to look at you."

"Alright then and please remind me why?"

She turned around to look at me. It was then when I noticed, her tears. Her washing her face was an excuse to allow her to hide the shame of crying abruptly in front of me.

"Your eyes—"

"Oh please." She quickly dismissed me.

"Alright then, she does not fancy compliments noted."

Nora held simply smiled but it was quickly replaced with a somber look of shame. "That's what happens when men like yourself force yourself onto black women. Please let's never speak of it again."

"Implying?"

"My father is a rapist, can we move past this now. Good night Lord Hugh."

It all suddenly made sense. No wonder she had not said a word about Lou. She blamed herself for something she had no control over. She hated herself, I could see the self loathing irk everytime I told her how beautiful she was. Clearly her choice to have shorthair held a motive behind it, her skin shielded her from having to face further shame that her eyes presented.

—

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