Have I ever told you how much your comments make me smile? Well..... I'm telling you now. 

***

"On lips?" She asked.

Anirudhh's heartbeat quickened and his stomach felt funny. He didn't know what to answer. But he knew that he didn't want to say no. Luckily, Bondita didn't care for his answer. She had already started lowering down her face towards him. He could feel her hot breath fanning his lips. A perfect contrast to the cold water droplets.  

Bondita was nervous. She wanted to make this perfect for him. She never even kissed him on his cheeks and now when she was going to kiss him straight on his lips, she felt unprepared like going for an exam for which you just read the headlines of the chapters and not the content. She had planned so many times how she would ask him to kiss her. But not even once she had imagined herself taking the task in hand.

It felt like an examination. A viva. Where the results would be declared immediately and she was pathetically scared to fail.

She tried to align her lips in perfect position from above trying to decipher the correct angle as she feared their noses would collide.

Anirudhh was waiting for the kiss with a braced heart. She cupped his jawline with her soft fingers to adjust the angle making a shiver run down his spine at her cold touch on his sensitive neck. His eyes which were closed blissfully uptil now suddenly snapped open, when she shifted slightly downward on his body making her groin rub on his from under wet clothes and he felt his 'little man' rising.

He was horrified and he pushed Bondita  aside in a jerk before she could feel the perversion of his body.

Bondita let out a surprised shout as she landed on the rough soil of the backyard unlike the lush green grass of lawn and rubbed her scratched palms.

He looked at her and his eyes stuck at her as they followed the water droplets rolling down her face to her jawline, then taking a bend towards her neck and then finally disappearing in the sharp neckline of her blouse.

Her drenched bright yellow saree stuck to her body in all right crooks and crevices bringing out the outline of her modest but round breasts.

His 'little man' was not so little now, and this threw him off guard.

Bondita felt as if she was thrown from cloud nine as he saw him standing up and sprinting towards the house barefoot, not even caring to wear his slippers on the way.

His abscence made her feel cold suddenly.

Cold.

Unwanted.

Undesirable.

Unworthy.

She didn't even get the chance to give the examination and she was declared a failure.

A loser.

A big loser.

She ran back towards the haweli. Ignoring Shubhra's calls , she ran straight to her Pati babu's room and knocked.

"Pati babu! Pati babu! Please open the door. What happened? Pati babu, please." She banged with her fists on the door.

"Go away , Bondita. Please." His voice came from inside. His voice sounded pained.

" What happened Pati babu? Please tell me. Why did you come like this? Did I do some mistake? Please pati babu."

"Bondita! Don't you understand? I said go. Leave me alone. Don't irritate me." He yelled from inside.

Bondita's hand stopped midair before the next knock.

"I will not go. Tell me what happened or I'll keep sitting here." She yelled stubbornly.

"Do as you wish." His indifferent voice came from inside.

Bondita sat on the floor stubbornly in her wet clothes. Her back touched the door and she shivered. The rainfall outside had subdued but that of Bondita's eyes was a heavy downpour.

She remembered how Anirudhh made irritated face at her crying so she bit her knee in her mouth and cried voicelessly.

***

Anirudhh sat under the cold shower . His hot body was asking for a release.

He resisted himself from stroking himself. He had previously had such episodes when he woke up in the morning in the past few days too, but there was nothing that a cold shower couldn't cure. He knew what it meant but ignored all this days. But today for the first time, her touch ignited the unholy reaction. And this was gnawing in his gut like a parasite upto no limit.  He had learned from his friends that it meant being ready for that.

Has he started craving  for her like that?

He felt disgusted by his thoughts. How could he? Bondita was so innocent. She just wanted a kiss and he....
he.... Jerk!

The ache in his throbbing shaft was too much to bear. He touched it and stroked it. Instinctively his eyes closed and Bondita's drenched figure came into view. His mouth contorted in forbidden. pleasure. He wanted to rub the image way.

His strokes gained the speed and he found his release soon, along with the stream of tears that flooded his cheeks. He hated himself for thinking about her while touching himself. He felt disgusted in his own body. 

What if she looked into his eyes and gauged his sick desires towards her?

Bondita knew how a man looks at a woman with dirty thoughts. She had told him that she experienced it on a daily basis in school, in market or wherever she goes. Whether in saree or school uniform, she wasn't spared.

How would she feel when she would feel unsafe in her house too? In his vicinity?

What if she told maa? Maa would be so disapointed in him.

Anirudh laid down on the bed and stared at the ceiling. The more he tried to forget , the more her thoughts swarmed his mind. He tried to read a book, solve the sums , write an essay but nothing helped. He felt suffocated and trapped in his own sick mind and his traitorous body.

He lifted the jug of water but found it empty. He stood up to go to the kitchen and opened the door. As soon as he opened it, Bondita fell on the ground who was apparently sitting using the door as her support. Her eyes opened suddenly with the impact of the fall and she gasped taken off guard.

"Bondita! What are you doing here? Why didn't you change your clothes?" He crouched looking at her.

Bondita sat up and tried to touch his hand but he flinched and moved away twisting her heart.

All the things she had prepared to tell him to coax him went down the drain. She stood up on wobbly legs and walked away dejected.

Shubhra came to her room to call her for eating snacks but found her crying on the floor.

"Bondita! What happened? Why are you crying? " She sat on the floor and took her in her embrace.

" Maa..... Maa.. " Bondita sobbed breathlessly unable to complete her sentence.

"What happened beta? Did you and Awni fight again?"

"No! We....we were ... we were about to kee- kee... but he..... he.... left me alone in the backyard and now...... he .... he is not opening the d-door." She sobbed with incoherent words in her embrace.

"What? What are you saying?" She asked again but Bondita kept sobbing and said things in muffled voice.

" God! When will you two grow up and stop fighting?" She shook her head in exasperation. "Don't worry he'll be fine soon. You get up and change or you'll catch cold." She stood up a sniffling Bondita and helped her change.

Anirudh didn't come for snacks much to Bondita's disappointment.

Bondita had expected Anirudhh would come and coax her after his rude behaviour but he didn't even look at her on the dining table, rather he kept his eyes glued to the plate of food and made a bee line towards his room as soon as he finished the dinner.

When it was past midnight and Bondita  had already counted thousand sheep, she lost her hope that Anirudh would come to make her fall sleep. And she herself was too proud to go to him to ask for his help.

On the other hand, Anirudh couldn't sleep thinking that Bondita won't be able to sleep without him .
 
When insomnia hit her, her mind wavered to the distressing thoughts and overthinking infected her mental well being.

Bondita felt that her fears had came true. He didn't want her. He never said he loved her. He never kissed her like a husband should. On lips.

She constantly compared his behaviour with that of Aniket's whose love language was mainly spoken romantic words and teasing gestures towards Parboti even during the wedding at which she blushed red and smiled uncontrollably.

The sweet words in Aniket's letters roamed in front of her eyes and Anirudh's sharp words pricked her ears. They were both contrasting. Exact opposites.

He moved away from her touch. She remembered how everytime she fell asleep in his arms but woke up to an empty bed. She had thought he might have woke up early but one night she saw he didn't sleep at all with her when she woke up in the middle of night to drink water.

She brushed off the thoughts thinking he might not be able to sleep if someone touches him as he had said once. But didn't he himself wrapped her in his arms once on the terrace that night?

The betrayal was very heart breaking. She needed to take action soon. Very soon.

But what can she do?

***

Anirudh came downstairs to have his breakfast. He tried to keep his eyes down to prevent looking at her first thing in the morning. But his ears were alert trying to grasp her voice. But unfortunately her voice didn't reach them. He looked around but didn't found her.

Shubhra had come yesterday to their rooms to talk to them. Anirudhh said he wasn't hungry and Bondita cried hugging her unable to hide her pain but didn't tell her what actually happened.

When Shubhra forced her to spill, she just said that they had a fight but stopped her pleadingly from confronting Anirudhh.

Shubhra would have confronted Anirudh had Bondita not been so hysteric about not telling him.

Their fights were not a new thing. But Bondita's cries looked disproportionate to the petty reasons she gave for the fight.

When Anirudhh asked Batuk about Bondita during breakfast, he told him that Bondita was sick and under the effect of cold.

Anirudhh rushed to her room immediately and peeked inside. She was asleep. He timidly touched her forehead. It was burning. Even her closed eyes looked swollen and tear trails of Kohl on her cheeks mocked him.

As she started stirring in her sleep, he stood up hurriedly and ran out of the room before she could wake up.

The three days Bondita waited for him unaware of the fact that he came at nights after she slept under the influence of medicines and left early mornings before she woke up, to see her. He changed her forehead cold sponging the whole night feeling guilty for leaving her unattended drenched and cold on the floor that day.

Even when her fever subsided, Bondita was covered with an invisible but prickly blanket of melancholy.

Anirudh's sudden cold demeanour made her feel small and ashamed.

Next few days rolled in but nothing changed. Anirudh treated her like a plague. He tied her shoe laces as if he is going to catch some infectious disease if he by mistake came one more inch towards her.

When Bondita came to him with her study problems , he would teach her with a straight face. He dodged her attempts to make jokes and the air between them would turn more awkward.

When she came to sleep with him, he started making excuses about studies and  would leave for studying in the studyroom. After a few days, Bondita stopped asking.

When Bondita couldn't sleep for two days in a row, she took refuge in Shubhra's arms with sniffles and tears here and there. 

His each and every action pushed Bondita more into the depths of self -loathing and desperation.

Shubhra wanted to intervene between them, but Anirudh didn't budge what was the problem between them and Bondita was too ashamed to accept even to herself that he didn't want her the way a husband should or else why would he avert his gaze from her.

***

One day, Vanessa came to the Roy Chowdhury haweli along with Batuk. After an hour's, she came to the kitchen looking for Bondita and signalled her from outside.

When Bondita came out , she told her that she got her periods and couldn't go home like this as her clothes were stained. Bondita took her to her room and got her dressed in one of her sarees and put the dress for laundry after Vanessa removed the stains.

"VANESSA! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?" Bondita shrieked and put her hands on her eyes when Vanessa removed her dress. "We should not change clothes in front of others. It's bad manners. Maa says so."

Vanessa laughed. " Oh C'mon , Bondita. Girls can change together. Don't worry. You are behaving as if you don't yourself change in front of your pati babu."

" HAWWWW! Vanessa! Chi chi chi. What are you saying? " Bondita turned extremely red at the blasphemous idea and shook her head in negation vehemently.

"Really? You don't?" She asked Bondita curiously.

Bondita shook her head.

"But my parents do. Rather they live in same room only. And do everything together. I wonder why you and Dada live in different rooms." Vanessa said as she removed her dress completely to change into a saree, Bondita gave her. Bondita wondered the same.

Bondita saw that though Vanessa was thinner than her, she had ample breasts. Then she looked at her own breasts which were....
just....
just there....

Did he dislike her because her breasts were small?

"Vanessa! What is this you are wearing?"

"What? " Vanessa looked at her unfazed.

"This extremely skimpy blouse that two under a frock. Blouse should be worn with a saree na."

Vanessa laughed at her obliviousness.  "Bondita! This is not blouse. This is brassiere."

" Brazeee?? Isn't that a country's name?"

Vanessa laughed out loud clutching her belly. "That is Brazil , Bondita. And this is brazziere, bra in short."

"Oh, but why are you wearing this?"

"My mother says it supports the breasts and keeps them in good shape."

"Oh." Bondita said in a small voice disappointed that Shubhra didn't tell her that and nodded.

Next day when Vanessa came to collect her dress, Bondita asked her from where she brought such dresses. Many of her dresses were slightly above ankle length giving a peak of her pale skin and the bodice gave her waist a slim look and her chest a fuller one, making her look like an English doll, Shubhra had brought from Calcutta once.

Bondita noticed Vanessa . She looked very beautiful and attractive with her blonde hair, pink cheeks, blue eyes and body fitting dresses which flared below the waist.

Vanessa gave her a new dress of hers, saying that she wants to keep the saree she gave her as she really loved it. Moreover , because Batuk had appreciated her in the Indian look but her inability to wear it and handle it was a limitation. Bondita denied at first but reluctantly accepted it when she insisted persistently . She knew she wasn't going to wear it but kept it nonetheless.

She was cleaning her almirah when a potli purse dropped on the floor. She opened it and her eyes shone in brightness as she saw its contents.

***

The next morning Bondita woke up with a full night blissful sleep. Gone were the clouds of worry and her face shone like a rising sun at the dawn.

Anirudhh was frowning at her extra cheery smiles.

What possibly made her so happy?

Last few days, he couldn't help but was still guilty seeing the crestfallen expressions of Bondita when she tried to come to him but he tell her off.
But today her happy-go -lucky mood was bothering him.

Not because he didn't want to see her happy, but because he knew he wasn't the reason for her happiness.

Then why was she so happy?

What happened?

Anirudh kept a low profile record of her expressions the whole day in the school. She didn't pester him to have lunch with her.

On the way to home, Aditya and Vanessa accompained them. Bondita was continuously giggling and snickering while whispering with Aditya. Batuk and Vanessa were lost in their own conversation.

Nobody noticed the descending mood of Anirudhh. He gave a glare Aditya's way when their eyes met. Aditya's eyes widened in fear and he shifted away from Bondita's side but she pulled him back towards her holding his wrist.

Aditya tried to remain lowkey and modest but Bondita's cheerful attitude was too infective to waver his attention from her towards the blood -hungry lion aka Anirudhh who looked at him like he wanted to wrung Aditya's neck with the strap of his own bag that Bondita had tucked her hand into to keep him by her side, and ask him what on the earth is this going on?

What is Bondita so happy and not giving a damn about her one and only Pati babu as she called him?

Did this nincompoop have something to do with her thousand watt smile?

WHAT .THE .HELL. IS. GOING . ON?

Suddenly an unwelcoming though entered his mind.

What if....

What if...

Bondita was getting from Aditya what she wanted from him?

No!

No!

Not. at . all!

He shook his head dismissing the painful images in his mind. But there was a nagging though in his mind.

His dream in Krishnanagar could be a sign. He had heard that dreams mean something. Something that is about to  happen in the future.

But what about his body? He had successfully controlled his urges in the past few days by avoiding Bondita. But if he tried to come near her, she would know.

She would know the sinful reactions of his body to her innocent touches and then she'll be scared.

His reverie broke when they reached home and Bondita proudly announced the earth shattering news.

"Maa! Maa! Maa!" She ran into the kitchen but her voice was audible in the hall also.
"Today, Vanessa and Aditya have come to play with us and we'll play house. And Aditya would play my husband's role."

Anirudhh almost tripped on the doorstep
while standing on one leg trying to remove his shoe from the other.

"Dada! What happened?" Batuk held him preventing him from making a puddle of embarassment in front of the guest and his rival.

Anirudhh's gaze suddenly met Aditya who looked like a deer caught in headlight. He shook his head looking at Anirudhh as his vocal cords paralysed under the effect of Anirudh's lazer beams aka angry eyes.

'Say no.' Anirudh mouthed at him. Aditya nodded obediently.

As soon as Bondita came out of the kitchen,
he opened his mouth to say no to her but Bondita beat him.

"Come Aadu! I mean... ahem.... Swami.... I'll serve you the food."
She batted her eyelashes and looked down pretending to feel shy and held Aditya's hand , who was
too stunned to speak, and dragged him to the dining table.

Aditya didn't look back at Anirudh. He knew if he did he would turn to ashes as he could feel his eyes drilling holes into the back of his head. And he wanted to live. A long life. But he doubted whether Bondita would let him live in peace or in single piece. Maybe none of the above. He hung his head defeated.

Anirudhh was a fraction close to burst out like a volcano and drown that imbecile Aditya into the hot lava of his anger.

Swami???????

Swami???????

SWAMI??????

What the hell is Swami?

Are they living in medieval India where a wife waited months for her husband who would come from the war and treat him like the king he was and ask him ' Swami, do you want warm water or cold water for your bath? Scented or non scented?' or better , she knew what he needed. He shook his head irritated.

Anirudh was never the one to believe in dark magic , jhad fook,  tantra mantra , and all the hypocrisy that prevailed around in society. But right now he felt like learning the technique to make a  voodoo doll of certain someone and pierce every inch of his body till he becomes the twin of the sieve Shubhra probably used today to drain the rice water. He gritted his teeth.

Game on , Aditya. Let me see what skills you got up your sleeve. Game on!

Bondita threw a glance at an unware Anirudh and noticed his livid expression as his jaw ticked and his hands fisted tightly. She smirked .

Game on , pati babu! Game on! 

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