CHAPTER TWENTY:
THE BELLS OF NOTRE-HELL

"Jason! Come play with us!" The funny rabbit waved Jason over, she was with some other rabbits, all waving him over enticingly.

"Sorry ladies," Jason apologized and pointed at somewhere behind him, "Me and the boys are planning on going to a screwdriver."

"Ugh, do you have to? You and those rhino friends of yours," One of the rabbits rolled her candy cane eyes, "You could come with us to church."

"Dang, that's tempting but I promised Five Times Four —my boyfriend— to help him with his math homework, he doesn't know to write his initials."

"Jason," A voice called.

"Not now Five Times Six, I'm going to church."

"Is he high?" Another voice said making Jason look around.

"No, he was just dropped as a baby off the Eiffel tower," The first voice replied.

"Imma go get the bell."

A hand poked him, but Jason couldn't pinpoint the exact place of the body to punch back, "If you're here to steal the holy sock, you're late."

"My God, he's stupider than I first thought."

Jason went to insult the bodyless voice when a sudden sound of a bell loudly in his ear woke him up.

"AAAA-" Jason attempted to karate chop the closest person to him, who turned out to be Five, "Ow!"

"Why do you ow? I'm the one being hit!" Five glared at him and then turned his wrath at Klaus, who was still ringing the bell with a grin on his face, "Cut it out! he's awake now, go wake up Ape boy or something."

Klaus ruffled Jason's hair and then went out, the bell still ringing.

"Why couldn't you wake me up with a kiss?" Jason complained as he got out of Five's bed and made the walk of shame to the bathroom.

"I woke up to you talking about screwing a driver, I ain't waking you up with a kiss," Five said as he walked past Jason who was peeing in the toilet in order to reach his toothbrush.

"Do you need help reaching your stuff? should I get you a stool?"

Five rolled his eyes and got on his tiptoes to open the highest cabinet where they for some reason held their toothbrushes, "We're the same height."

"I'm taller."

"It's the hair."

"It's not."

"Iw ib," Five tried to say while brushing his teeth.

"That doesn't make sense so I win!" Jason flushed the toilet and waved down as it went away, "Woosh."

Five rolled his eyes as he cleaned up and waited for Jason to clean his hand before he took his hand and dragged him downstairs, "Come, I need my hourly dose of coffee."

"We're still in our pajamas."

"I don't care, either provide me with coffee or perish."

Thankfully, Klaus already had coffee ready and was pouring one for Luther and then himself with three cups empty. Five, the thief he is, stole Luther's coffee without hesitation and started drinking.

Luther blinked and looked at his empty hand, not fully processing the traumatic experience of a stolen coffee.

Jason patted him on the back before climbing on the table and sitting crosslegged, much like how Klaus had sat the first day they arrived.

Klaus poured a cup for the empty chair next to him which Jason knew was occupied, then he poured one for Jason and himself.

"Jesus, who do I have to kill to get a decent cup of coffee?" Five said after a sip and abandoned his cup.

"Can we get started please," Luther pleaded as he watched Jason steal his cup of coffee which was stolen by Five, and then attempted to drink two cups at the same time.

"Have you seen any of the others, Diego? Allison?" Klaus asked and looked around like he expected them to appear out of nowhere when he said their names. reality is often disappointing, "No? All right, then, this is the closest thing to a quorum that we're gonna get," He then starts banging on the table with a spoon, making Luther wince.

The dude probably had a wild night.

"Now, listen up, There's no easy way to say this, so I'm just gonna spit it out."

They wait for Klaus to spit it out, but he only said "Yeah," and then stared at them.

"Did he break?"

"Klaus-"

"-I conjured Dad last night."

They stare at him, then Luther and Five look at each other, Jason tried to catch Five's eyes but the old teenager takes his now empty cup of coffee.

Jason looks away and pretends he didn't drink it.

"I thought you said you haven't been able to conjure anyone in years," Luther said.

"Ah, yes, I know, but I'm sober. Ta-da! I got clean, yesterday, to talk to someone special, and then ended up having this... conversation with dear old Daddy himself."

"Congrats dude!" Jason offered a fist bump which he got with a grin.

Ape dude looked around, "Has anyone got some aspirin?"

"Top shelf, next to the crackers, And whoever finished my coffee, I'll meet you at dawn."

"Hey, hey, hey," Klaus stopped them from leaving and ignoring him like the awful brothers they were, "This is serious, guys, all right? This really happened, I swear."

"Okay, fine. I'll play. What did the old man have to say?" Five said like a meanie which made Jason frown. This dude's power was to see and talk to ghosts, why is it so strange for him to do those exact things?

"Well, he gave me the usual lecture about my appearance and my failures in life. Yada yada yada, No surprise there. Even the afterlife couldn't soften a hardass like Dad, right? But he did mention something about his murder, or lack thereof, because," Here his voice got sad dramatically, "He killed himself."

Jason mimicked taking his hat off while Klaus stared at the floor with mock sadness.

"I don't have time for your games, Klaus," Luther completely disregarded Klaus and got up.

"I'm telling you the truth, Luther. I'm telling you the truth."

"Why'd he do it, then?" Five asked calculatedly.

"He said it was the only way to get us all home again."

"No. Dad wouldn't just kill himself," Luther argued.

Five sided with Klaus which made Jason very happy, "Ah, you said it yourself. He was depressed. Holed up in his office and room all day and night.

"No. There weren't any signs. Suicidal people exhibit certain tendencies, strange behaviors.

"Like sending someone to the Moon for no reason?" Klaus fired making Jason grin.

"I swear to God, Klaus if you're lying..."

"I'm not. I'm not."

A voice from behind them startled Jason, "Master Klaus is correct. Regretfully... I helped Master Hargreeves enact his plan." Pogo said making Jason silently 'ooo'.

Pogo went on to reveal the plan to gather them together.

Luther left in a fit, Pogo left with his head held down and Five portalled away with an "I need to think."

"Well shit," Jason said and Klaus nodded.

"You guys wanna knit a long-ass scarf?" Klaus asked and was met with an enthusiastic "Hell yes" from Jason.

So they —Jason, Klaus, and Ghost!Ben— migrated to Klaus's room where they started knitting but soon got bored. Klaus held the barn in his hand and was playing with it like a cat, while Jason, now in dog form, was taking care of his personal hygiene.

"Do you ever look at someone and wonder," Klaus said after Jason was done being gross, "What do they think when they get the opportunity to shove chocolate in their ass?"

"I suppose they don't appreciate how rare they are, I would jump on such opportunity," A naked Jason said from his place on the floor while he held a pillow in front of his privates.

Klaus nodded and threw the barn up before catching it and then stabbed it with the knitting needles or whatever they're called, I want to call them stabby knitters. Fuck everyone else.

Klaus stabbed the stabby knitters in the barn like it was his worst enemy.

"I really want to find a dude and take out his eye and then promise him that I'll be back for the other one and let him live his days in fear and when he least expects it, imma go and take out his eye. And then I'll make it think I'm always there, watching, lurking, waiting to take his life."

Klaus stared at Jason before shrugging, "Honestly, nothing moved me anymore," he then tangled the barn in the stabby knitters, and found his first enemy.

Five knocked and came in, "Get up, we're leaving— why the fuck are you naked again?"

"Where?" Klaus asked while Jason ignored Five.

"Save the world," Five said like it's the most obvious answer, "and to get this piece of shit some pants."

Jason threw his pillow at Five.

Good news it hit him.

Bad news, now Jason is showing the bits.

Klaus screamed and covered his eyes, "My eyes!"

Five shrugged off his jacket and handed it to Jason, "For the love of Holy Vodka, stop walking around naked and flashing my siblings!"

"Who else has he flashed?!"

"Vanya, and you can look now."

Klaus hesitantly peaked from between his fingers and sighed in relief when he saw Jason was covered in Five's jacket, "Is flashing the Hargreeves like a hobby for you?"

"I don't like clothes."

"And we don't want to see you naked—"

"That's not what you said last night-"

"—last night I was knocked out cold, and stop changing the subject, Pogo said dad killed himself to get us all back together. Right?"

"Yeah, so?"

"So it got me thinking, I had to jump to the future to figure it out, but dad couldn't time travel, so how did the crazy bastard know to kill himself a week before the end of the world?"

"Maybe the end of the world is about him?"

"Well you know,"

"Don't answer, Jason why did you answer, it was purely rhetorical. Truth is, our whole lives he's been telling us to save the world from an impending apocalypse."

"I just thought he said that to scare us into doing the dishes," Klaus said as he put his shoe on forcefully.

Jason walked to Klaus's closet and looked around, "Man, I wish we were the same size you have hella nice clothes."

Five ignored him and focused on Klaus, "Me too, but what if he knew it would happen?"

"Knew how?" Klaus held a colorful shirt and sniffed it.

"I still don't know how doing the dishes is related to the apocalypse."

"I don't know, but the fact remains, his fakakta plan worked. We all came home. We're here, we might as well save the world."

"I'm sorry," Jason made a 'T' with his hands —meaning he let go of the jacket and flashed the two Hargreeves again and Klaus screamed again as he covered his eyes, while Five looked up at the sky like he was praying to a God he didn't believe in— "his what plan worked? What the fuck does kefta have to do with the plan? And again, dishes and apocalypse? Someone explain? Now?"

"Put your clothes back on!"

Jason rolled his eyes and got the jacket back around him, and they walked out of the room only to run into Diego.

"Where have you been, pretty blue?"

Five grumbled and Diego dashed into his room, "jail, long story."

"A bad boy and mysterious," Jason nodded approvingly, "Me likey."

"Have you flashed him?" Klaus asked quietly as Diego asked about Luther.

"Not yet."

"Yet?!" Five shouted.

"Yes, yet, shush."

Diego stopped them before they could start their hourly bickering, "Doesn't matter, Allison is in danger."

"Shit."

They went to get Luther, he was pouting in a bar.

Jason immediately went to the bar and ordered a big marshmallow hot chocolate. Five and Klaus went to him and left Diego with Luther.

They talked for a while and just as Jason got his order Luther slammed on the desk with a "You should've led with that!" And everyone rushed towards the door. Jason looked back longingly at his order.

Some goodbyes are very hard.

The car ride was hell.

Luther and his big ass took two sits, Diego insisted on driving, and Klaus called gunshot, so Five ended up sitting next to Luther with Jason in his lap.

"Have I told you lately," Jason caressed Five's check, "That I am totally captivated by your beauty?"

"I'm not getting you another chocolate marshmallow monstrosity."

"Well fuck you then!"

The rest of the car ride was filled with Five and Jason's occasional bickering, Jason and Klaus giggling, and Jason flirting with Diego and complimenting his pretty eyes. At one point Jason started to talk to Luther about how he liked his men but was stopped and told to never talk to him again.

And so they rode to Allison.

And they found her bleeding in Harold Jenkins' cabin or something, her throat was cut.

Jason didn't think his Grey's anatomy knowledge would be helpful now.

They just had to get her back to Grace ASAP.

ᴥ︎
BONJOUR BONJOUR!
CA VA YOU BEAUTIFUL PEOPLE

I am finally back, after a month (?) of being gone, I MISSED YOU ALL!

Sorry if anywhere I said Alex instead of Jason. I feel like I've done it. (Edit: I had it 🤚)

Here goes episode 8 of season 1.

My A/N is not organized at all fuck me.

LOVE YOU ALL
❤️❤️❤️