(please do not ghostread)

Motherhood was always such a strange concept for Aelyna. The lessons her Septa taught her always confused her so. To be a daughter was to provide ones family with an abundance of heirs. To be a mother, who doted and loved her family unconditionally. That her battlefield was the grievance of childbirth, that the enduring pain of labors would be worth it once one held her own babe.

All of it seemed like nothing but stories to Aelyna. If a mother was to love her babe with unwavering love, how come her mother did not. How come it was so easy for her own mother to hand her over to the servants of the red keep and disappear for the rest of her life? Before meeting her, Aelyna often wondered if her mother regretted handing her over to Daemon. Bastard or not, surely she must have had difficulty giving a piece of herself away to the prince.

Motherhood was difficult to understand because for most of her life she had raided herself. She was always aware that nor Laena or Aemma were her mothers, despite the loyalty and love they showed to the young Aelyna. Aemma would always be Rhaenyra's and Laena always Baela and Rhaena's mother. She was nothing but the filth of her father and mothers seed, perhaps it is why they were hesitant to truly take her and raise her.

She belonged to no one.

But having had to raise herself, it made her aware to how desperate children need love. As a child she craved it so much that she cried herself to sleep. The need to held and cared for, with no conditions of court or what her Valyrian blood and dragon could serve to another. She understood what it was like to be deprived of it, naturally the understanding of neglect made her promise should she ever have a sister or brother, they would not suffer the same emotional turmoil she had come to know.

But all the love she gave still could not take away that the girl belonged to no one and no one was hers to have. That was until her name would soon be Stark.

Aelyna had spent days with Rickon Stark attached to her hip. She wondered was it the silver hair or her unmatched lilac and green eyes that captured the young babe attention so. The child would squeal and laugh whenever Aelyna entered a room, with his tiny arms outstretched for her to hold him. Had there ever been doubt that Aelyna Targaryen would be unfit to be the Lady of Winterfell, she had succeeded in proving those claims wrong. She sought no reason to be cruel to Rickon,

"Hen nuha eleni, perzyssy vestretis." Aelyna's gentle voice sang to Rickon. The babe in her lap as she sat crossed legs in the middle of his chambers as he played with a wooden direwolf toy "Se gelyn, irudaks perzyro udryssi, ezimptos laehossi. Harossa letagon, aot vaedan."

As Aelyna continued to sing in a foreign language Rickon, held in her warm embrace cooed and hum along, an innocent toothless smile as he turned in Aelyna's lap, his fingers tying the silver hair around his chubby hands.

The door slowly opened as Aelyna's eyes fell onto Roslyns. She stood at the door as she watched Aelyna hold Rickon. She could only smile in the intimate moments Aelyna shared with Lord Starks son. A child deprived of a mother, holding another of the same fate.

"Princess, a raven has been sent to you."

"Really?" Aelyna sighed dreading that it would be from Dragonstone. Her time in Winterfell was to come to an end, eventually she would have to return to Dragonstone and announce her betrothal to Cregan Stark. In moments she found herself dumbfounded on what Daemons opinion on the matter would be. Did he ever care to consult with her when it came to his sexual escapades and secret marriages? Did he care for the sanctity of marriage when he fucked her mother in a brothel when Rhea Royce remained in the Vale, hearing of cheap gossip of her being a bronze bitch?

It irritated Aelyna, that despite what she convinced herself of, she somewhat cared what Daemon would think of Cregan. The life she had chosen for herself.

"From Kingslanding, princess." Roslyn nodded as she entered the room. Aelyna stood up, holding Rickon to her side as she opened the letter.

Se dārys iksos rōvēgrī ill. Se greens sit zȳhon dēmalion. Ziry jāhor sagon rōvēgrī appreciated jeme mazverdagon return naejot dārys tegorīr isse these dire jēdi.

Shayna

(the kings is greatly ill. the greens sit his throne. it will be greatly appreciated you all make a return to kings landing in these dire times)

Aelyna held her breath as looked back to the bottom of the parchment. Shayna, perhaps the only loyal and truthful friend she had in Kings Landing. It was Shayna that taught her the value of secrecy and spies, to hide between the crooks of walls and strike when the opportunity seemed necessary.

"Is something wrong Aelyna?" her friend asked.

Aelyna shook her head, forcing a smile on her face "Not at all." She lied. Shayna was a woman with great influence amongst servants, maids and guards. Her letter would be more suited to be sent to the kings daughter or brother instead but she sent it to her. Which meant only one thing, a sickening web of lies was untangling while Viserys grew weak.

She would have to take Vermithor and return to the Red Keep.

Aelyna stood in the Godswood. With Rickon cradles to her chest in a blanket she looked up to count the five pointed, blood red leaves. Her eyes only saw leaves, but her mind-

Her mind saw rats scurrying under pools of blood. It was the same dream over and over again. If not rats then a dragon lurking through storming rains. Aelyna had cut her palms raw, each time taking of her own blood to make a potion that would stop these dreams from haunting her sleep. Since receiving Shayna's letter earlier that day, Aelyna could feel her mind slip in between states.

The last she had seen her uncle Viserys was when she was still fifteen years of age. Otto Hightower had served as hand after Lyonel Strongs unfortunate death in a fire at Harrenhall. Aelyna simply scoffed. All of it seemed so distant to her now. The Hightowers, the Velaryons even her own family. She had been gone from home so long that she severed ties with familial theatrics after Rhaenyra and Daemons wedding.

Yet there was something about Shayna's letter that made her feel worried.

Aelyna turned to see Cregan approach them. She know feared how troubled she felt, not even his gaze could help ease her wandering mind. Cregan placed a kiss on her temple, his gaze softened when he noted his babe in Aelyna's arms.

"You have been quiet for much of the day. It is unlike you to be silent." Cregan said "Should I worry that you have fallen ill?" he teased

Aelyna only then managed to smile. Again she remained quiet

"No teasing or jokes?" Cregan huffed as he took his hand in hers. His thumb soothed against the skin of her hand "Now I am concerned. Aelyna, what has happened."

Aelyna brought Cregans hand to her lips, she placed a sweet kiss against his knuckles as she let go. Holding a sleeping Rickon closer to her chest "I have received word from Kings Landing. We have all known that Viserys' health has not been on his side, but -"

"But?"

"It has been insisted that I, of all people, return to the Capitol to aid at his side. Not Rhaenyra, not Daemon nor even his cousin Rhaenys."

"Who sent you this letter? The queen?"

"No." Aelyna firmly answered. The tone of her voice low as Cregan could see the hint of fear in her eyes. A look he remembered from when his Maesters forced her to bed, refusing her to take dragonback.

"A letter for you to be at the Kings side, without the knowledge of the hand or the queen. All of it feels like so-"

"Underhand?" Aelyna rhetorically asked. "This was why I was glad when Daemon was banished at took me with him." She explained "Everything about Kings Landing, the kings council and the people. It always feels like there is some under handing plot, a conspiracy going on. Tis why I was taught at an early age to kept to myself. First chance I had to claim a dragon, I took it with both hands. I never wished to return to the city of pigs in silk."

"What will you do?" Cregan asked "You seem determined to not return and yet, my betrothed, I can see it troubles you to think you should stay."

"I have yet to decide." Aelyna shrugged as lightly rested her chin to Rickons sleeping head "What do you think I should do?"

"I can not say princess." Cregan answered "My house has never been one to show too many interests that concerns the politics of the South. Everything of Kings Landing, it's schemes and trickery is foreign."

"You Starks have always valued honor, duty and loyalty. It is a rare thing to find." Aelyna acknowledged

"In Winter, my duty to the North and to the Wall is more than the one I owe to Kings Landing. You will forever have your loyalties and ties to the South, that I can not change of you."

"But should I be your wife?" Aelyna quickly asked back "What? I should cut myself from my ties and let all play out?" Aelyna could feel herself become more agitated "If I were to be your wife, and I received word of my sisters or my brothers would I be forced to stay aback because I have taken the name Stark?" Aelyna accused

"I never said this." Cregan stepped back "You should know better than to think I would force my whims and desires onto you." He argued back "I do not intend to make a prisoner of my wife. I find it insulting that you would accuse me of such."

Before Aelyna could fire back at him, Rickon started to fuss in her arms. The two paused as the babe shook his head, slowly opening eyes. Tired and confused he reached his arms to his father. Aelyna breathed in deeply as she had no choice to hand the babe over.

Cregan held his boy as he looked back to his betrothed "Aelyna, I can not tell you what to do on the matter. But I will not let you accuse me of slanders I have never intended to bring on your part, ever."

Disappointed Cregan turned to walk away from her. Aelyna felt her heart sunk into her stomach. She was uncertain of what to do, and worse she used her indecisiveness to start an argument against a man who showed her nothing but understanding and love.

"Fucking idiot." her boots kicked the snow as she could only curse herself. Aelyna took a look back to the Weirwood tree, single leaf had fallen to ground. As she bent down to pick up all she could hear was a scream that pierced through a stormy nights, thunders echoed through the dark clouds sending shivers down her spine. A dark shadow loomed over an ocean.

"Jemēla gēlȳni enkā! Taoba!"

☆ ࣪ ִ AUTHORS NOTE :l 𝆬 3

Aelyna when Cregan didn't want to decide for her:

If it isn't obvious I added a little bit of angst between them because I really don't want Aelyna to leave Winterfell just yet. I also wanna dig more into Aelyna and Cregan, and albeit they are really cute together they are also so different from each other. Not only by their house values but their nature as people to- I feel like there's so much to unpack more between how a Stark and Targaryen would function in a relationship.

With the kings landing arc, I have rewatched season 1 of got and I honestly love the murder mystery element it had. If Aelyna should return to Kings Landing, i am not against playing Viserys' illness and eventual death to usurpation of the crown as a murder mystery type.

<3