A/N: Don't all act so shocked... I told ya'll I'd be updating this at some point 😉

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The journey back to Nassau from Havana was indescribably long and almost painful for you. The only time you had ever felt like that before was when you had been in trouble with those Spanish soldiers, before Vane had rescued you in the first instance. That feeling of not knowing whether you were going to die or not... It was bad to say so, but you very much did feel it was reflective in your current feelings. You were not sure how anyone was going to react to your return... especially after the misery you put them all through.

To attempt to make things easier for yourself, you stayed far away from Vane. He was too busy captaining the ship anyway to bother you. He once again gave you his captain's quarters to rest in. Not that you did much resting, more tossing and turning.

A few days later, after non-stop sailing – the Ranger swanned into the shoddy docks at Nassau, anchor lowered and causing a milky cloud of sand to haze the bright blue transparency of the ocean.

The moment your foot stepped into the sand, it was like your stomach dropped and your heart sank; very much like your boot as it sank into the sand with each step.

Vane was by your side, walking feebly – like one would walk with an elderly relative, close enough to offer any support at any given moment, but not so close that it was uncomfortable or smothering. It was clear, like always – his heart was in the right place.

You carried your frame more hunched than usual, eyes down. Your posture around this place used to be so proud, you carried yourself because you had always felt like part of a big family... but it soon became apparent that you had been tearing that family apart; as you saw it, you were like a maggot, chewing away from the inside.

It didn't help that the clothes you had on were whatever Vane could find aboard the ship for you. The dress that you had left Torres' villa in was a mangled mess, and marginally worse than the oversized men's billowing shirt and black breeches were. Not only did you feel highly uncomfortable and nervous about even being back on Nassau, but you looked like a joke too.

The Tavern was becoming too close for your comfort, and before you had even processed the thought to stop walking, your feet had already done so- worn leather boots dug into the sand.

"(Name)?" Vane said in a gentle tone, eyebrow raised. He looked like a wolf pup when he did that, this rugged, tattered old sea captain with the tender eyes of a domesticated cocker spaniel just seemed so misfitting.

"I cannot do it." You simply said, eyes fixated on the sand. "I can't face them. Face Edward..."

You didn't even have to be looking to guess the slightly disgruntled look on Vane's face at the mention of Edward. You had hoped when you left that your absence would bring them together again, clearly it pushed them further apart.

"You can. You have to." Vane suddenly piped up, and he stepped in front of you so you were now looking at his boots wedged in the sand. He then grasped your chin and lifted your head softly.

Looking closely now you noted how tired and worn he looked. There was such an ongoing and longing sadness in his eyes that you could only feel so responsible for.

Past the war cries and the fiery temper, Charles Vane was actually very much an affectionate man. His lust sometimes got misfired and het up, but when it came to those he cared about – the man really did care. Look at all he had done for you, everything he had sacrificed. In the end, you never had ever wanted to hurt him. Despite the confusion... you did love him.

"We've already lost you once, (name)," he said, strong will apparent in his deep baritones, "And I'll be bloody damned if we are to lose you a second time." He said, forcing you to link with his arm then. You could smell that oh so familiar smell of his coat, hot leather under the baking sun and the faint smell of sea salt and gun powder.

"One step at a time." Charles added, and before you knew it you found yourself walking again.

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The old wood boards of the tavern decking area creaked under foot, ascending the few steps with Vane, you cast your (eye colour) glance over the tables and noted three familiar faces sat around the table. Kidd, Hornigold and Rackham (who looked bladdered to say the least)

"Gentleman," Vane announced, and suddenly all eyes were up, and on the pair of you. Ben Hornigold looked as if he had seen a spirit when he set eyes on you.

"Jaysus! (name)!?" he exclaimed, and shot up so fast the table jolted forwards violently and Kidd's drink sloshed – causing the captain to grumble loudly before standing up too to greet you.

For once you were actually relieved to receive a hug of off Benjamin. It wasn't at all peverse or slimy, it was a sincere embrace before he pulled away to look at you.

"We've all been so worried about you lass." He said, "Especially Vane." He said and slapped Charle's shoulder. You glanced back at Vane who smiled nonchalantly.

"He's right, (name)" James Kidd added, the usual somewhat blasé and monotone ring to his voice, "We've all been beside ourselves. But it's finally good to see you home."

Home? Were they honestly under the impression that you could just slot yourself back in like nothing had happened?

"Where is .... Where is Kenway?" you finally managed to choke out, as everyone looked between themselves, a sort of awkward upset about their glances.

"He's out with Thatch. He's spent a lot of time away since you disappeared. I think it's his way of coping, considering you two were... had...." Hornigold faltered, and the way your eyes dropped to the floor let him know he didn't have to continue with his sentence.

"I've caused so much pain and havoc... After all I have done, all I have put you through.... I can't stay." You whispered hoarsely, an empty sadness hallowing in your eyes. The group of pirates looked between each other worriedly,

But instead of all bartering ways to get you to stay, Kidd interjected wisely.

"It's okay, if you feel that way lass then we understand... but before you go, at least give Kenway the decency of a proper goodbye this time. He should be back before sundown." James said softly, and it made you look up.

Yes... maybe you could do that. Just apologise and then go again...

Vane however looked hurt by the suggestion, and so to hide it, he went to the bar, to be away from everyone. The prospect of not having you in his life was something he had had to endure before, and he didn't want to go through it anymore. He cared for you too much to watch you sail away

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The remainder of the afternoon you spent walking around the island, on your own, because you didn't want anyone else's influences anymore. You left the others too it, while your mind raced over what you could say to Edward later. You didn't care anymore about the previous questions you had, about Torres and that damned symbol – your instinct was to run.

The glowing summer sun was beginning to slip behind the blue blanket of the ocean skyline by the time you wandered back to the tavern, picking a shred of grass between your fingers nervously. You rounded the corner of the slope down to the porch when you heard the booming laughter that was unmistakably Edward Thatch.

You exhaled shakily now, this was becoming all too real. The script you had planned of the scenario that had been running through your head all afternoon was now seemingly burning away like letters on a fire. This was beyond your control; you had to walk into the lion's den and faced being mauled to death... at least that was what it felt like.

Pacing into the clearing area of the porch where everyone was sat around a large table, you waited until the first few eyes looked up at you, smiles faded and suddenly Thatch's laughter died down as he noted a seriousness polluting the air of his hilarious tale. Your Edward was sat beside him, back to you, and he looked to his left in confusion as to why everyone had gone silent. When Thatch looked over his shoulder, Edward's gaze followed. The moment you saw him notice you, a pang of guilt forked through you.

The pain, anguish and sheer sadness that emmaulted from those blue eyes you had once found so much love in – they seemed to scream at you 'why did you do this to me?'.

Kenway shot up, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand.

"Gentleman." He said coldly, his eyes still firmly and aloofly locked onto your person.

You were forced to stand there and watch as he walked right towards you, but he was no longer looking at you – he was looking off into the distance, where he was going – with an expression like a thunderstorm at sea. It was embarrassing to say the least as the others had to witness the display as well as you... this was all your fault.

"Edward..." you found yourself sighing as you turned quickly to follow him up the hill, over the bank and eventually down to the rocks on the beach – wher he was headed.

"Edward please..." you called, feeling so small and insignificant – like it wasn't your place to even think he owed you his attention after what you had put him through. The captain ignored your pleas and mews, and you continued to track him down to the beach. The table at the tavern were beginning to mutter as you walked away, but you simply didn't care about what they might be saying. Your focus was very much on the tall and broad shouldered silhouette of the man you loved, walking down to the sun soaked shoreline – evidently very upset with you. It wasn't quite the warm welcome the others had given you, however this meant more to you than anything else that had happened that day.

The welsh captain eventually sat on a rock, his form slumped over. You remained some steps away from him, simply not to anger him.

"I know that you probably detest me... and I do too, I loathe myself for any pain I have caused you. But you'll be pleased to hear I'm sure that I'll be leaving once again after I've explained why I did what I did." Your voice said above the gentle whirring hush of the evening waves lapping against the shores of the Pirate colony.

Edward was silent for some moments, before he just looked over his shoulder at you, a wry glance about his oceanic blue gaze.

"I think that you best come and sit with me, don't you?" he offered, before turning to face the sea again as he shifted over slightly to give you room to sit on the rock beside him.

So this is what walking to the gallows felt like....

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A/N: AHAHFSHFAJSHF I'm sorry this is ASS I feel like I'm just waffling all the time ☹