Mark

    Finishing my last bite of breakfast I groaned, rubbing my stomach,"I'm so full now." I complained to Jinyoung, who was still eating next to me. Jackson and BamBam no where to be found after leaving us to eat while they went to do something 'important',"That's what you get for eating too fast." He scolded, playfully pushing my shoulder,"I don't know how you can eat so easily knowing we are meeting Jb in less than an hour." I shrugged, acting careless,"It's not the first time I've had a 'meeting' with Jb. I guess it's just not as scary anymore?" My lie was pretty convincing as Jinyoung nodded,"That makes sense, but I've been having meetings with Jb for years, and I don't know why but today's meeting just feels worrying." Maybe it's because this time we messed up pretty bad,"When is Yugyeom going to be back for my training?" I asked, trying to distract him from the meeting.

   Jinyoung bit his lip in thought,"I'm not sure. He said the village was getting suspicious because he left all the time. He has to stay there for a while before they trust him again." I let out an 'ah' to tell him I understood. Should I be selfish for a bit? "Why don't you train me?" Jinyoung's eyebrows shot up in surprise,"You want me to train you?" I rolled my eyes,"No I was asking because I didn't want you to train me. Of course I want you to idiot." Standing up from my seat I took my dish to the sink,"Besides, when Yugyeom was training me you helped him fix my mistakes he didn't notice. Along with the whole you trained Yugyeom thing. I think it's a good idea while he is stuck at the village." I wouldn't have anyone else but you, I added silently to myself.

   "I'll never get used to you talking about the village like it's not a part of you anymore." Jinyoung appeared next to me, placing his plate down to wash later. I sighed, turning to face him,"It isn't." Jinyoung let out an angry groan, "Still set on becoming a bandit? You can't fight your roots Yi en." "Watch me." I challenged, pushing away from the sink as both of us engaged in a staring competition. I felt myself searching for some kind of emotion that told me what the hell he was thinking. Nothing,"Don't we have a meeting to go to?" I broke the eye contact, quickly making my exit. Can't you just give me something to work with Jinyoung? All I've gotten is that you hug me until it's alright and then remind me it's not.

The last thing I need to do is think about my past. I reminded myself as I made my way up to my room. For all I know Jinyoung doesn't even want to train me. What if he secretly hates me? "Who knew becoming friends would spring up so many insecurities? Oh wait, I did!" I muttered sarcastically to myself, grabbing a random shirt and slipping it over my head. I'm a freakin bandit why the hell would fashion matter anymore. Instant regret washed over me, my mind reminding me of a life I had taken. I can't believe I forgot so easily, I can't believe I only felt guilty for a day. My grip on my dresser tightened, my mind buzzing with so many thoughts. I'm such a mess lately, what's wrong with me? Swallowing with a clenched jaw I pushed off my dresser, letting it hit the wall. The sound of it crashing against the wood gave me satisfaction.

  What if this is the beginning of a long line filled with murder? Is this really the only choice I have left? "A life isn't a simple thing! Why does it seem so meaningless?" I felt the urge to punch anything near me out of frustration, and confusion. My fist clenched, the sane in me slipping away. A knock on the door made me shake my head. I can't let anger get to me. I just need time. But how long? "Mark, what was that sound?" Oh great now what? "Um....I accidentally pushed my dresser closing it." Yeah that's totally believable,"Oh well, you ready to go?" Looking around for anything I would need I grabbed the knife I hadn't given back to Jinyoung,"Yep. Wait right there."

   Leaving my bedroom I was greeted with Jinyoung in a new outfit. A simple white shirt that would totally be see through wet, and black pants. He held a knife in his hand. I placed my own knife out in front of him,"You let me use this during...the rage. You can have it now." Before he could say anything else I forced it into his hand and headed towards the stairs,"Hey Mark wait! Can we talk about what happened during breakfast?" I immediately shrugged the hand he placed on my shoulder off,"Jinyoung, please not now." I almost begged, turning to face him,"I'm frustrated." His gaze darkened,"What happened?" Everything,"Mark why are you keeping so much from me?" Because it has to do with you! "I'm not keeping anything from you."

   "It sure feels like it." I sighed,"Jinyoung I'm just confused okay?" "What's confusing you?" His hand reached out, taking mine and pulling it away from me,"Why can't you tell me? We trust each other right? Mark, come on please-" His lip jutted out in a quiver, but it disappeared so fast I couldn't tell if it actually happened,"-you're the only one I've ever really connected with here. I don't think you understand how fast I've grown to really enjoy your company. I trust you, I told you my name and I told you the truth about Jb wanting me to persuade you. Trust me now okay?" My jaw clenched, Jinyoung's look in his eye making me want to break down and spill every worry I've ever had,"It's- it's complicated." I'm so sorry Jinyoung, but I can't tell you what I don't know.

Jinyoung let go of my hand, stood up a little straighter, and put on an emotionless face,"Don't we have a meeting to go to?" Looking down at the ground I watched Jinyoung's shoes disappear from my sight,"Let's go Mark." He drew out my name as if he had never said it before. I trailed behind him, making sure to stay a little ways away on our way to see Jb. The whole time trying to come up with some way to talk to him,"Jinyoung-" "No. When you find Yi en, we can talk. I may have not known you long Mark Tuan, but it's not about how long I've known you. It's about how much I cared to know. For now, you are a stranger."

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Just wanted to give you all a look into this developing Markjin since the book isn't just them I felt I'd give you more of them before we push it aside a bit

I'm back after a week of rest and am so thankful for the nice comments I got! Really it meant a lot and I will be going back to updating every week! My health has improved and I've recently got hooked on two things!

Shadowhunters/The Mortal Instruments (MALEC IS LIFE)

Hamilton(the musical. I blame my friend for everything!)

Talk to me fams where are you? XD