♫Come on baby, light my fire

Try to set the night on fire♫

"What the fuck are you doing?" Sidney asked as I started to pry open the door to our room so I could leave. They had sent someone around to knock on the doors and inform us it was now time to play the sacred fire game. I was pretty sure it was made up, and that we were way too old to play games.

"They said to go outside?" I meant it to justify my actions, but fuck if I didn't feel inferior surrounded by grade twelves, and everything I said came out as a question.

"Don't you have actual boots? Or mitts? You're going to freeze to death." I shook my head and he began to riffle through his bag. He pulled out a pair of black knitted mittens with white writing on them.

"How long is this game?"

"Well, it's definitely longer than your-"

"Just pass me the effing mittens," I grumbled as Sidney laughed and the other guys in our room sniggered. The forever silent Ian hadn't moved from his bed since we got back from the hill, so it was clear he had no intentions of joining us outside, and I couldn't even blame him. Hudson and Jonathon on the other hand were completely decked out from head to toe, looking like they had just returned from the Artic. I could already sense the competition would be anything but friendly.

♫

"The rules are simple," the counsellor with the heavy German accent said, not that many people could understand him anyways. I was more concerned with the fact that I had only been outside for minutes and the wind whipping me was threatening to freeze me to death. We could have already been playing the fucking game but the stupid niners wouldn't shut up long enough to let him talk- until Hudson threatened to kill all of them. The thought of impalement by an icicle was efficient.

"Each team has a fire, the one team has yellow glow sticks and the other has green. You must have your sticks visible," he explained, and I hate to admit I was so immature that I laughed at that.

"The lodge divides the team's territory. You must carry the snow from your side, and if someone on the other team taps you when you're on their side, you have to go back to your side. The goal is to put out the other team's fire by throwing snow from your side into it."

Naturally, a bunch of people raised their hands asking pointless questions he had already answered while the rest of us grumbled about starting the fucking game already. He split us down the middle, and Sidney made sure to pull me at the last second to his side as the glow sticks were being handed out. I looped mine on my zipper and then the music started and we dispersed to opposite sides.

I was self-deemed defense, because I was not about to go run around trying to throw snow in a fire when I could stand around and tag people. Sidney stood close to our fire while I stood behind the lodge so I could jump out and tag people. There were a bunch of grade nine girls giggling around the fire and I could tell Sidney wanted to shove their faces in the snow. I would have.

Tagging people was almost too easy, and after a while I just made myself visible and started yelling along with the words to 'Can't Hold Us' and that was enough to keep people away. Probably because you can't carry snow while you're covering your ears.

"Logan," Sidney called out, and when I turned he was standing at the base of the hill that led to the equipment shed. He pointed upwards and then disappeared into the trees.

For the first time since the game had commenced I actually ran, and by the time I got to where Sidney had been I was winded.

"Sidney?" I tried to call out, but I was short of breath and could no longer see him. Like promised, he had headed to meet me at the equipment shed. I stared to mount the hill, but stopped when I heard voices. Maybe it was stupid to be afraid of two guys standing at the top of the hill in the dark, knee deep in snow, when all they wanted was to get past me and win the game, but if I failed to stop them and they put our fire out then I would never even make it to the equipment shed.

"Hey," one of them said from a tree. They were moving in-between trees and bushes, concealed by the dark and snow, while I stood in the middle. I was hoping they thought I could catch them because the truth is that if I tried to move I would probably fall over. My legs were already starting to go numb, and having feeling in my toes was a thing of the past.

"What's your name?" One called out, and I looked at the shadowy figure curiously. They couldn't see me either.

"Logan."

"Hey, bud! It's Hudson," he replied, though he didn't seem that happy that it was me.

"Who's your friend?" I asked, pointing towards the figure next to him.

"Thomson." I didn't know if that was his last name or if people actually named their kids that. Then again, people named their child Hashtag, so anything was possible.

"Wanna go back down the hill, Logan?" Hudson laughed and I shifted my weight.

"Why don't you come over here?" The other guy tried to provoke me, adding, "Do you have cooties?" And suddenly we were back in the second grade.

"Herpes, actually," I responded seriously.

"Ew. That's nasty," Thomson whispered while Hudson laughed. I shrugged in response.

I took a few tentative steps towards them, testing the waters. They started to back up farther into the dark bush, which was temporarily relieving. It was eerily silent on the hill, though there was music playing somewhere near the dining hall. I could hear the screams of the people below, being caught, protecting the fire. My legs prickled and I started to move forward again, attempting to corner them despite being outnumbered.

That was when Hudson jumped out and threw a fistful of snow into my face. I supposed it was meant to disorient me, and I did stumble a bit, but it didn't stop me from harshly pushing Hudson into the snow and kicking snow at him and shoving some into his face. I was much stronger than I appeared, it came with having siblings. And maybe I had a bit of a problem with physical violence.

Thomson didn't attempt to run past me down the hill, he just stood there, frozen. He was probably scared I was going to push him into the snow as well.

"Dude, what the fuck!" Hudson drew his jacket tighter with one hand as he shielded his face with the other. It was only at this proximity that I was actually able to see him. I helped him up and he walked back to Thomson, dejected. Even though I hadn't tagged Thomson, he probably decided it was better not to fuck with me. As him and Thomson staggered down the hill I could hear parts of their conversation.

"You totally got owned by that kid, man."

"Shut up."

"He's a beast."

"Shut up, Thomson."

I was still laughing as I pushed the door open to the dusty old shed, and Sidney had his face plastered to the window, not even turning as I walked in.

"Took you long enough." I opened my mouth to try and explain but he cut me off, "Come here." He waved me towards the window, and I stepped around the broken shit until I was looming over him. There was a perfect view of the other team's fire.

"Near the end of the game they get lazy and desperate, so we go down through there," he pointed to a congregation of pine trees behind the fire, "and throw some snow in."

"That's kind of cheating."

He shrugged with a small smirk. "We do it every year. Haven't lost yet.

Sidney pulled the mini alcohol bottles from in-between the shelves where he had stored them, unscrewing the cap on one before placing it to his lips. "We?"

"Usually I do it with Hudson," he said simply, like it didn't matter that I was disrupting three years of tradition by existing. Maybe coming here was a bad idea. All the band kids already had their friend groups and I was on the outside. I was always on the outside, which was why I went there in the first place- to become the talk of the school and be in for once.

Sidney passed me the half empty small bottle and I downed it as he opened the next one. I needed liquor to make it through this with my sanity. It was too awkward and quiet, and I didn't do quiet. It was one of my problems. I filled it with embarrassing babbling.

Sidney stared at me the whole time, watching me drink, not even taking his eyes away as he raised his own tiny bottle of rum to his lips. It was starting to freak me out, I felt heavily scrutinized. I looked away to the window, but I could still see him watching me.

"Why the hell are you looking at me like that?"

"Like what?"

"Like a creeper," I clarified as he laughed. He leaned back against a dusty cupboard, still surveying me.

"I'm just trying to figure you out. You say you're not bisexual, but the way you're looking at me makes me wonder."

"What the fuck are you talking about?" I hissed. Even if I was bisexual, it definitely wasn't apparent by the way I was looking at him because I was barely looking at him. Or at least I thought I was. I zoned out a lot, like a dinner with that girl's tits. I had the attention span of a chipmunk on speed.

"It's like, you're hypoglycemic and I'm the last sugar packet left on earth."

I cocked my head to the side and raised an eyebrow. "Did you start drinking before I got here?"

"Not that I blame you, I mean who doesn't find me attractive?" Sidney continued, completely ignoring me. I wasn't even going to entertain this.

"I don't like brunets," I deadpanned.

"You're a brunet."

"It's called dirty blond, you uncultured swine."

Sidney's serious expression broke and he started to laugh hysterically, covering his face with the hand that wasn't holding the booze. I sat in confusion as he finished his laughing fit and wiped a single tear from his eye because he was laughing too hard.

"Dude, winding you up is too much fun."

"Oh, fuck off," I muttered as I threw my empty bottle into the pile that was collecting on the floor.

"Have you ever hooked up with someone before, Logan?" Sidney asked randomly, though I could tell there was some intent brewing behind the question. It would have been so easy to lie, and he wouldn't have known the difference, he didn't even know me. Instead, I said nothing, which was basically an answer on its own.

"We have like, a good fifteen minutes, we can do a lot with that."

"I think I'm good," I replied with an eye roll, but he didn't seem to notice or care.

"You can't hook up with my ex if you have no idea what you're doing. For her that would be like going from 100 to 0 in a day and-"

"I get it; you're a cocky bastard desperately looking for a reason to get in my pants."

"Is it that obvious?" He smirked unaffected. Sidney really was that confident, it wasn't just an act.

"Painfully so."

"It would be a lot easier if you would just comply."

"Is that why you took me up here? So no one could hear my helpless cries?"

"You're so dramatic," he drawled out, clearly bored with me because I wasn't playing his game.

"It's part of my charm," I retorted. I was always terrible at making friends, but I thought this was warranted.

We silently drank while staring at each other for a few more minutes. I could hear the screams of people running around the trees and the bottom of the hill below us, desperately trying to keep their fire burning and the feeling in their fingers while I sat up here with Sidney. When I made eye contact with him again, he was staring at me intently. His fingers were tapping on his leg and he was clearly bored. I could feel the alcohol buzzing through my veins and I'm sure he could too.

"Fuck it," he muttered. And I knew what was coming as he started to close the distance. I had optimal time to dodge him or push him away or laugh or do anything, but I didn't. Why? Because I really wasn't that opposed to the idea of hooking up with Sidney. Sure, he was a dude and that was new but he did have a good reason to be as conceited as he was, even if that admission pained me.

There wasn't anything particularly mind blowing about the moment our lips met. There were no fireworks because there weren't feelings, just lust. He was good. And weirdly enough the feeling of his stubble against my face turned me on more that I liked to admit. It wasn't tender or sweet, it was fast and hot. Hands were fumbling on shirts, feeling skin, pulling at hair.

It wasn't until my hand was at the button of his pants- an action I didn't remember in the slightest- and the music ceased that the world finally caught up with us. We parted, gasping for air.

"If you hadn't told me you'd never hooked up with someone I wouldn't have known," he admitted, and my brain took a minute to process the amount of negatives in the sentence.

"I wouldn't classify that as a hook up.," I said, trying to brush it off while Sidney just shrugged indifferently.

"How would you know a hook up if you've never hooked up before?" He teased.

"I'm just going out on a complete limb here – but I'm pretty sure it involves far less clothing."

I didn't develop miraculous feelings for Sidney right afterwards, and it wasn't weird to be around him. The sexual tension was actually more bearable now. I stood and looked out the window, seeing the other team's fire was still blazing strong.

"What does the music stopping mean?"

"That game is over," Sidney replied as he stood to look out the window, and I followed his gaze to see the other teams fire fully ablaze.

"Shit, dude, we just lost."

"Doesn't matter, the real fun starts tonight when the teachers leave."