♫We're just two lost souls,

Swimming in a fish bowl,

Year after year♫

I wouldn't put it on my list of top ten kisses if I had a choice, but since I'd had less than 10 it was there regardless. Not that it was bad; it just wasn't electrifyingly mind blowing. Then again, I was beginning to doubt those kisses existed.

I had dreamt of this moment for so long that the thought of pushing her away never crossed my mind, despite the fact there were two teachers and probably forty band kids within a visible distance.

At some point I'm sure I heard the door to the guys' washroom open, but I was too busy trying tp massage Leigh's tongue with my own. It was only when I opened my eyes to sneak a peek a Leigh's facial expression I noticed that not only had her eyes been open this entire time- which on top of being creepy and possibly murderous is a complete turn off- but Sidney was standing there. He didn't look surprised, and he had this smug look on his face.

I pulled away, because now that Leigh and I were looking each other in the eyes this whole kiss had become weird.

"Showing her what I taught you?" Sidney asked. I couldn't tell if he was bitter because I was kissing her, or if he just came by being an asshole natural, but either way he was getting his clarinet shoved up somewhere really unpleasant later tonight. Actually, knowing him he'd probably enjoy that. Kinky fuck.

He was still smirking as he walked away, and Leigh was staring at me with shock.

"You guys hooked up? Are you into guys?" Leigh asked, wide-eyed.

"Obviously, that's why we were just kissing. Your beard just turned me right o-" She cut me off with a light slap to the chest and an eye roll. She looked more intrigued than upset though.

"Okay, okay. Bi, then?"

"I guess so. I'm trying this thing where I don't need a billion labels for everything," I replied somewhat bitterly and she shrugged.

"Fine, fair enough. Just a warning though, when we go back to school all these guys saying they're bi will magically be straight again." It was starting to make sense. The reason it felt like the entire bisexual population just happened to be present at band camp was because they were really just horny teenagers who wanted to get off however they could- that is until it might affect their reputation. And if you came to school saying you had sex with someone and they denied it, you just end up looking pathetic, so it's no exactly like it's hard to lie about.

"Like Vegas? What happens at band camp stays at band camp?"

"Basically."

"That's exactly what I'm looking for," I admitted. It was true. I didn't need to bring all this self-discovery shit back to school with me. I wanted to be the same Logan, just maybe with a bit more experience. I went to a Catholic school, there are always a handful of those people posting stuff on Facebook like 'Why is Kathleen Wynne our premier? It's bad enough she's a lesbian'. Because despite everything wrong with that statement, they also missed the memo that Facebook was dead. I didn't need anyone hating me. I mean, it's not like I was going to get gay bashed or anything, but I rather just not have to deal that. High school's stupid. It's so secluded and your whole life seems to be based around it. Everyone cares about everyone else's shit.

She didn't reply, mostly because I didn't give her time. I walked back to the table. Sidney had his head down like he was praying, so I assumed he must have fallen asleep again. The card game hadn't ended yet. I wasn't even able to sit down before hearing Ms. MacDonald's voice saying, "Dishes away and then two hours of practice. Vocalists stay here, instrumentalists to the common room."

I shook Sidney, and eventually he woke up. We cleared off the table and they all left for the common room, while I was stuck hear with a bunch of crazy.

Ms. MacDonald called us over to the keyboard that was set up near the fireplace, and I didn't miss Emily's death stares. The only separating me from imminent death was the soprano section.

We struggled to sing through Spiderman a few times, until this guy walked in. He was wearing a plaid shirt and he had his hair gelled back and he screamed of flamboyancy. To pull it all together he was wearing these winter boots that honestly resembled plastic bags.

He was introduced to us as Alan, some guy who happened to study music with Ms. McDonald at York. We did some stupid rhythm things that almost everyone failed at, and then he tried to get us to improve jazz melodies.

We went in a semicircle, everyone taking a turn improvising. Then it came to me. I choked. I opened my mouth, and not a single sound came out. My face flushed with embarrassment and I ran out of the dining hall and back to the bathroom.

I stared at myself in the mirror for a while. Why was I here? Why was I doing this to myself? I wasn't a singer, just some kid who was desperate to be popular.

Aw fuck, Logan. Don't cry, you big baby.

The door was pushed open, and I'd never realized how much hope I had that it was Sidney coming to my rescue until it wasn't him. It was that idiot, Alan.

"You know, the first theatre production I did was about a murder mystery. It was supposed to take place in the winter and I had two characters in back to back scenes. So, in the very opening scene I was wearing this big, floor length jacket with my next costume underneath. It was unbelievably hot. I got out there and I was blinded by the light, I could feel myself fainting. I started trying to grasp onto any lines I could remember, reciting ones from the last scene. I disclosed the entire plot, even gave away the murderer. It was unsalvageable. I've also fallen off the stage more times than I can count. So, I have faith that you can come back from this."

"I can't sing."

"Why are you in a choir if you don't sing?"

"That's what I'm trying to figure out," I sighed, turning back to the mirror.

"Sing something for me, anything." I felt myself stiffen, and if I wasn't staring at my reflection I totally would have just checked to see if my nose was bleeding. I always got nose bleeds when I was nervous, it got me out of nearly everything. Honestly, I was hoping my nose would bleed right now. Or that I would just have heart palpitations and I wouldn't have to be in here with Alan.

Even his name was ugly.

"Excuse me?"

"Just five seconds of your favourite song. If you suck I'll totally let you continue wallowing in here in self-pity. Otherwise I'm just going to stay here until you get uncomfortable and leave. Your choice." He shrugged like he didn't care, but I could just tell that he loved having me as his little science experiment.

Why the fuck was he just coming in here and telling me his life story? Did he just think he would walk in here, relate to me, and then I would go out there and sing until my lungs exploded?

"I'm waiting," he hummed as he leaned against the wall. This dude was serious.

What the hell? Okay, Logan. Five seconds of a song, then he's gone. Come on.

"I need love, love to ease my mind

I need to find, find someone to call mine

But mama said,

'You can't hurry love

No, you just have to wait'

She said- Can I stop now? I think that was a good enough example of how I can't sing."

He hummed quietly to himself for a second, surveying me.

"I've always hated kids like you, with that raw talent. Don't have to train, study, practice. People pay thousands of dollars to be able to do what you just called 'not being able to sing'."

I chose not to answer him. Okay, so maybe I could sing, but I wasn't talented. I had no astounding abilities. I couldn't do runs, and I had no idea how falsettos worked. I could match pitch and I wasn't tone deaf- run and get me a Grammy! This dude was being paid to boost my self-confidence, because I guess he felt responsible for me being holed up in the bathroom- which he should.

"Diana Ross and the Supremes though. That was... an interesting choice."

"I like Diana Ross, sue me."

Alan didn't force me to go back out, but I eventually did. I could only look at myself for so long before I heard that voice in the back of my head telling me I wasn't good enough.

Our practice ran slightly late, because Emily needed to audition for the solo twice since she was dissatisfied with her first attempt. Ms. MacDonald kept pushing me to try, which I continuously rejected.

By the time I was back at the room there was just an hour before lunch, which would be followed by some activity. I had considered just skipping all of it. I couldn't remember a time I had last felt this down.

I pushed open the door to the room, took one glance at the scene in front of me and slammed it shut again. I squeezed my eyes closed.

"Oh fuck, lock the door!" I cried out.

Obviously, I'd heard of mutual masturbation before, but I didn't think it was something people actually did, or something that I would see two people doing.

I shuddered. Hudson and Thomson.

"Sorry, bro," Hudson somehow managed to get out in between his pants and gasps. Band camp was just one giant fuckfest.

I walked back down the hall to the common room, where Jonathon and Ian were lounging around with some other people from the band. I fell onto one of the folding chairs with a dramatic sigh.

"Thanks for the warning about the live porno going on in our room."

Their laughter was cut short by the ringing of Jonathon's iPhone. We all sort of stared at it with confusion. Who even called people anymore?

He fumbled to answer the call, and then held it to his ear while everyone else either made sex noises or said something about 'passing the cocaine', obviously assuming it was one of his parents.

"Hey. Yeah, he's right here." Jonathon's eyebrows were knitted together with confusion and he pulled the phone away from his ear and focused his gaze on me.

"It's Sidney. He wants to talk to you." He passed me the phone and I felt sort of guilty that it hadn't even occurred to me that Sidney wasn't here.

"Hi?"

"Hey, Logan. I need you to come to the bathroom at the end of the hall." His voice was soft, and he sounded breathless. How many times did this guy jerk off every day? It was just past noon.

"Why?" I was stubborn, what could I say. Plus, I really wasn't about to have a quickie with Sidney in the bathroom.

"Please. Please, Logan," He muttered, sounding almost desperate.

"Fine." I ended the call and gave the phone back to Jonathon. They stared at me with curiosity.

"I have to go to the bathroom." I didn't say it suggestively, but it was pretty obvious. I discreetly adjusted my pants as I stood up, ignoring their hollering as I walked down the hall to the public bathroom at the end. It may have seemed stupid to have one when there was one in every room, but let's consider six people in the morning and one toilet, someone is bound to pee themselves.

I skimmed my fingers along the walls of the narrow hallway, smirking to myself. Sidney totally wanted me. It must have been the kissing Leigh thing, got him all jealous.

When I got to the door I pushed, obviously, but it didn't open. I knocked and I heard shuffling on the other side.

"Sidney? It's Logan."

I heard the door unlock and it opened just enough to allow me inside.

It was then that I realized Sidney definitely wasn't looking for a quickie.