Buckle your seat belts, motherfuckers because in four short pages, I am going learn you a thing about that I shat out talking to my friend glamourgirlsst10 So sit down, shut up, and enjoy the experience of my cannabis-filled-nine-PM-hatred-fueled-writing-extravaganza.

It all started with a man named Nogla. Now Nogla wasn't the most.. attractive man to walk the planet. But in the eyes of a horse named Kara, he was like David Beckham. He made that big ass horse jaw drop and that horse pussy like a water fall.

As their relationship grew over the years, they started thinking about wanting to hear an extra pair of hooves trotting around their barn. The man and his beloved horse left their barn, and went out in the field where laid together under the starry night. One thing led to another, and thus, Nogla planted his warm seed into Kara.

After waiting five months, Nogla took her to the vet and that's when they finally found out the spectacular news. A male foal was about to come in to the world.

With the months left of Kara's pregnancy, the beautiful couple were bickering left and right, trying to decide on a name for their soon baby horse.

"NEIGH! NEIGH!!!" Kara spat a hot big one at Nogla's face.

"WELL I WANT HIS NAME TO BE NIGEL!" Nogla retorted as he wiped the horse loogie off his face. "NOT JEFF!"

"NEIGH BITCH NEIGH!!!"

Before they knew it, it was foaling time for Kara. She cried and neighed loudly that God had to yell at the couple to shut the fuck up. Nogla took his beautiful mare to the stack of hay where she laid for hours, crying in pain trying to bring her beautiful foal into the world.

When her foal was soon out of her horse pussy, she pushed hard one more time and there was the new and beautiful member of the Earth, Nigel, the shetland pony.

Although, Kara probably wouldn't agree on the word beautiful.

"THIS HORSE NEIGH IS UGLY NEIGH AS FUCK!" She yelled at Nogla.

"Well what do you want me to do about it?!"

"NEIGH! TAKE IT AWAY! NEIGH!" And so, Nogla did.

While her hormone enraged mare fell asleep, resting after pushing out the child, Nogla put his vomit green hood on and put Nigel in a basket woven by himself. He got on his bike and drove to a random house in the city.

After deciding which house to drop him off to, he dropped off Nigel and kissed his precious head. Nogla knew how tremendously hideous the baby was, but unlike his wife, he would've kept it regardless. But it was his wife's orders, lest he wanted his dick chomped off by her hulk strong horse jaw.

Nogla left a note for the hopefully new owner next to Nigel and rang the door bell. He sprinted back to his bicycle and pedaled for dear life before the house owner would see him. And that was the last time he saw his child.

Who came out of the house was some Irish Arnold Schwarzenegger. He had his hand around a very timid looking moose who joined him examining at the foal left at their door.

Dear sir/ma'am,

I'm Nigel. My parents decided they didn't want me the moment I was conceived by my beautiful mother. I don't have an owner anymore so would you find it in your heart to let me stay with you?

- P.S. I'm Nogla, his father. When he grows up, make sure he never finds out about us. Just let him know that I loved him dearly. Thank you.

"C'mon Brian, we can't let him freeze to death out here." The moose said to the half human, half robot man.

"Agh" Brian said. "Fine, we can keep him."

-----------
I swear I wasn't actually high when I thought about this.