Hello, you beautiful potato. If this is still in your library, my god I am sorry for just vanishing out of nowhere. You might want an explanation but as of right now, I'm kinda not ready.

But enjoy this anyway this random Detroit: Become Human reference anyway~

Yet another scorching hot day in the middle of June. You wake up to find the dozens of fast food paper bags and boxes scattered over your couches and tables. The moldy food and the spilt soft drinks could almost blend in with the smell of the homeless man in a green speedo in your bathtub.

"There's no goddamn way I'm cleaning this all up" You thought to yourself.

As you head back to your bedroom, you open up YouTube on your Nokia phone. As you were about to watch another Vanoss video, the first ad pops up about Cyberlife's newest android model: the H2000.

Its handsome and god like appearance made it impossible to press the Skip Ad button.

This android comes equipped with a state of the art murder-all-enemies feature, a portable hatchet, its very own raccoon pocket, linked accounts and whereabouts to your local drug dealer so you can buy heroin ten times as fast, and most importantly, the feature to clean your raggedy, filthy, house up, you disgusting mongrel! Best of all, this new male android packs a 10 inch sex toy down there, completely at your dispose to use as you often as you desire!

"That's it I'm getting one." You said, leaving the house with nothing but an oversized white shirt that has piss stains on it.

As you reach your local Cyberlife, you see that devilishly handsome, blue-eyed robot, standing in display in the middle of the store.

A pig headed android worker is the first to greet you at the door. "Hello (ma'am/sir)! How may I help you today?"

"Yea!~ I- uhh" You slurred and stuttered, due to the pound of weed you smoked in your car in the parking lot. "Listen here, you bacon smelling plastic, I want that handsome motherfucker in the middle of your shop that's staring right at me!"

"Ah- yes, right this way." The android walks you over to the middle of the room.

"Waitwaitwait, before I throw my money at you like a hooker, are you sure this thing will clean my house, AND fuck me like the kinky bitch I am?"

"Yes, certainly." The android replies obviously trying to refrain itself from making rude remarks. "Would you like to give him his name now?"

"FUCK YEA!"

The android takes a step back from you after your rude outburst and awakes the android you are about to purchase. "H2000, register your name."

"Delirious." You ordered, as you grabbed his hand.

"My name is Delirious." It replies back and smiles at you to confirm. You chose this name to remember how intoxicated you were purchasing him.

"Lovely! The new H200 costs $20,000 and with an additional warranty incase of damage, $500-"

A loud glass shattering noise caused by your bong you hurled at a window alerts everyone in the store and even your local police department.

You took your new android's hand and yelled for life. "RUN YOU WALMART BRAND JASON VORHEES! RUN!"

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Uhhh so I ran out of brain juice midway, so this will maybe be a two parter I guess? (-: See you next time!