Fall- Ryan’s second favorite season after summer- and the time of year that he enjoyed solely for two reasons: sweatshirts and Halloween. He never really was one for especially cold weather, or for the sort of atmosphere brought in with the changing of the seasons, although he could occasionally appreciate the twisted beauty of dying leaves. On days like today, where the clouds hung heavy and it was overcast with the threat of rain, he would usually find himself at home, playing video games until his fingers went numb from mashing buttons and griping the controllers, but rather, he was sat, legs swinging beneath him and staring out a large window into the gray, abandoned streets. He was, of course, at a little cafe on the outskirts of town, waiting alone for his friend who had wanted to go grab a drink. Ryan, however, dreaded the inevitable conversation that was about to ensue between them.

With the subtle chime of a bell, Ryan’s attention was drawn to the bright red cafe door. Enter: Luke. The lone man couldn't help but smile at the appearance of the other and shook his head slightly, getting up to give him a hug, which Luke accepted willingly. The embrace lasted just a second longer than Ryan felt comfortable with, even if he was the one that instigated it- wanted it even. Luke finally let the smaller male go and took his seat, the chair pulling back with a dulcet scraping sound. “How are you doing?” Ryan asked, smile donning his face, but tone a bit disheartened.

Luke scoffed slightly as he looked out the window, the grey sky reflected in his deep brown pools. “I don’t know…” He said, licking his chapped lips, “I’m upset- that’s for sure.”

Understandable, Ryan thought, jumping as a female spoke from beside their table. “Hey! Can I get you two anything?” She questioned in her chipper waitress voice.

Luke barely had the gull to look her in the eye as he ordered a plain black coffee. Ryan did his best to smile at her however, “I’d also like just a black coffee, please,” he said softly.

“Alright, I’ll bring those to you right away,” She nodded, her bouncy blonde hair bobbing over her shoulders as she walked away. The pair sat in near absolute silence the entire time they waited for their drinks, both deep in thought, one about an ex and the other about the pain of going unnoticed. The atmosphere was heavy with melancholy. Even the waitress seemed to notice this as her bright toothy grin had faded to a thin lipped smile upon her reappearance. She set the two lonely mugs on the table and chirped, “enjoy!” before hurrying off.

Ryan barely got in a quiet “thank you,” before she completely disappeared, turning once more to Luke with a blank expression.

“God Damnit…” Luke broke the silence, grumbling over his cup of pitch black coffee, “I just don’t understand why, I thought we were doing good.” He sounded clearly frustrated.

These were words Ryan had heard from the distraught male before.

Across the small, quaint cafe table, the dusty haired male dumped a few packets of sugar into his porcelain white mug, watching as the fine white crystals sank into the dark caffeine lagoon. He said nothing as Luke continued.

“I just-” he paused to angrily sip his coffee, “I did everything right- I bought her flowers, took out on dates- I paid every damn cent mind you- watched movies that she liked and ate the food she wanted to eat…” he trailed off, looking down with knitted eyebrows.

Ryan glanced up at the man before him with squinted eyes. He had predicted Luke and his girlfriends inevitable break up long ago, and he knew that no matter what, he would be there for his friend, even if he didn’t like to see Luke in pain and talk about something that seemed so obvious to him, yet maybe not that obvious at all. He knew that this last girl was using Luke- it was apparent to Ryan seeing as she was like every girl- and guy- that had come before her. She picked him up, flirted, used him and then dumped him when he was no longer needed or cheated on him when a better fuck came along. He just wanted Luke to realize he didn't need to keep this going.

But, bringing him to such a realization wasn't as simple as he'd hoped it would be. Luke was the epitome of obliviousness- so much so that he often times felt invisible to the bearded man before him. It sucked to say the least. What didn't he have to make Luke see him for what he was or what he could be? Ryan bitterly drank his sugar laden caffeine and listened on as Luke downed the remainder of his drink. “I need to find someone who will appreciate the little things and treat me the way that I treat them…”

“I agree…” Ryan uttered, Luke seemingly not paying any mind as he scoffed.

“I feel like I'm gonna die alone- try after try and get everyone I'm with just fucks me over!” the auburn haired male hissed quietly- visibly upset but not so much so that he'd disrupt the other patrons happily enjoying the cafes otherwise warm atmosphere.

Ryan's eyebrow was twitching and he tapped his foot silently against the word hardwood floor. “Don't say that~” he paused, “I'm sure you'll find someone who's good for you…”

His chest hurt as stabbing words flooded into his mind but he held his tongue, his leg bouncing with how antsy and restless he was becoming.

“Sure,” Luke said a bit sarcastically, “when I'm 76 and on my deathbed maybe-"

Ryan did his best to huff out a small laugh, but it was dry and boundless. “Do you wanna go for a walk?” He asked spontaneously, eyes connecting with Luke's for just a moment. He felt the urge to walk- maybe it'd make him feel just a tad bit more relaxed.

Luke looked into his empty coffee and nodded, “Sure, I'll go pay.”

“Nah, don't bother-" Ryan said as he stood, fishing in his pocket for the five dollar bill he knew he had. Before the other could even protest, he was handing the money to the lady behind the front counter and getting a receipt and change back.

Luke looked thankful, giving him an appreciative nod before they both headed to the door, exiting out onto the grey sidewalk, the cool air coming as a relief to Ryan compared to the stuffy cafe. “Where to?” He questioned and Ryan shrugged a bit, looking around.

“You can decide,” the dusty haired male stated, his tone sounding a bit more relaxed as he took in a deep breath of the autumn air.

Luke lead them to the right, rounding the side of the building onto an adjoining street, which was lined with quaint businesses and homes. It was eerily silent, but neither of them seemed to mind just how alone and small they truly felt. “Ryan?” Luke began, causing the shorter man to look at him, “what am I doing wrong?”

“I don't think you're doing anything wrong…” he wanted to tell him that he had horrible taste, but again, he said nothing.

“Really?”

“Yes- really…”

And then there was silence again.

The only thing that was able to break Ryan from his hardened stare on the ground underfoot was a single picking drop of cold on the tip of his nose. He cast his gaze skyward only to feel two more drops land on his face. It was raining and then- as if on cue- the sky opened up, downpour pelting against the pair like bullets made of water. “There-" Luke said as he grabbed Ryan by the wrist and pulled him under the shelter of an awning. Both were practically soaked to the bone, even if they had only been in the rain for a minute, causing Ryan to shiver a bit, whisking the drops from his hair and face. Luke remained still, watching as the heavens descended onto the pavement with a cacophony of plops and splashes. “Just my luck…” he chuckled sullenly. Ryan cast his gaze upon the other, heaving as he said nothing. “I just feel like I'm close to figuring out how my life should go, as if the answers are so close… but I can't quite figure out why I can never be happy…”

There was a long moment of silence, before Ryan finally let the dam break inside his mind, all the comments and thoughts he's held back for years coming to fruition. “That's because they are- the answers are right here, Luke,” he said, sounding a bit defeated and frustrated.

“What d-" Luke began but Ryan let out a loud groan, interrupting him.

“Two years-" the angry little man said, “I've been head over heels for you for two years. I've listened to you and comforted you when you needed a shoulder to cry on and it honestly hurts me that you keep getting with people that can't give you what you need.” he exclaimed, hands waving and voice cracking as he ranted.

Luke looked absolutely baffled and stunned.

“I can't stop thinking what things could be like between us, no matter how hard I try to forget about you, I just can't.” Ryan seethed.

“I had no idea…” Luke said, “I'm sorry I didn't realize-”

Ryan shook his head, water droplets sprinkling to the ground as he did so. He seemed to have nothing left to say as he chewed his lower lip, preparing himself for the inevitable rejection that was about to be forced down his throat, seering his insides like a hot poker.

“Ryan,” Luke said a bit softly, voice nearly drowned out by the downpour. “I really wish I'd known sooner, could have saved me some heartache,” the man laughed, a bit exasperated, “and it could have saved you some heartache as well I'm sure.” Ryan glared up at him, eyes brimmed with either tears or rain- Luke couldn't tell- not that it mattered, because before he could even say anything, he was being tugged down by the dampened collar of his shirt, lips colliding with his. “Mph!” he hummed in surprise at Ryan's sudden gesture.

Ryan pulled away and looked into Luke's eyes as they stood toe to toe, soaking wet as the rain fell around them and it was as if they were truly looking and seeing each other for the first time.