(A/N:) Wow, well... Here's some Brohm.

I actually really like this.. And I hope you do to. I don't think you will tho :,o

WARNING- heavy concepts

#angst

I'm sorry for this btw

Iv'e been feeling this for a while....

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"Ryan...?"

The drowsy male blinked awake at the call of his name. With a light grumble and a stifled yawn, he rubbed his eyes and looked to his lover. "Mm, yeah Bryce?" he paused to adjust his position so that he was face to face with his partner. "What's the matter?" Ryan asked worriedly as he saw the clouded light that reflected from Bryce's eyes.

Bryce looked Ryan in the eyes before reaching out and running his slender fingers through his lover's messy bed hair. "I have something to tell you..." His voice was soft, yet he spoke clearly, his throat not hoarse from sleep, seeing as he hadn't actually gotten any.

"Is it another nightmare?" Ryan asked, looking to the digital alarm clock that sat on the night stand right over Bryce's shoulder to see that it was in fact nearly two AM.

Bryce retracted his arm and looked down at the crisp white sheets that they lay upon. A sad smile traced his thin lips. "Heh, I wish." He scoffed, his tone laced with poignant melancholy. When he looked back up, it was clear to see that tears had started to brim his bloodshot eyes and Ryan felt a prick in his heart. Rarely had he ever seen his youthful, carefree mate so distraught.

"Oh, no, babe," Ryan cooed softly, reaching out and wrapping his arm around Bryce's back, pulling him closer in a single ginger motion. "What's the matter?" He worried, wiping away a lone tear from Bryce's pale cheek.

"I- uhm," Bryce started, his voice cracking slightly. He took a shaky breath and wiped his eyes with a sniffle. "I have...I," he couldn't seem to form the words that so desperately needed to get out, clawing at his throat as they tried to free themselves. It hurt him, the thought of how Ryan might react to the news.

Ryan was definitely worried now, the hairs standing up on his arms. Something was very wrong about this, but he ignored it and continued to comfort his distressed partner. Rubbing soothing circles into his back, he pressed on, "Come on, Bryce... It's alright," he wasn't sure if he believed that. He had never seen anyone so... broken. 

Bryce cleared his throat, holding in a sob as he looked into Ryan's fretful eyes. "Ryan...I have-" he paused as his voice broke again, "I have Leukemia..."

Ryan froze as he tried to process the information that was just given to him, his eyes searching Bryce's to try and find any sort of joking presence, hoping that he would turn around and laugh about how good he had gotten him.

There was nothing but sincere pain and burning anguish.

Ryan felt his own eyes start to water and he hugged his sickly companion tightly to his chest. His whole body felt weak as he started to cry also, his chest heaving painfully. "It's okay Bryce,"'is it really okay?'

"We'll get through this,"'will we?'

"I promise..."'I hope...'

Bryce hugged tightly onto Ryan, gripping his light grey sleep shirt firmly as he let his tears fall. "I'm so scared..." Bryce sobbed quietly into Ryan's chest.

Ryan felt his own tears trickle down his face and drip from his chin. As much as he wanted to break down, he knew that he'd have to be strong. With a ginger kiss to the top of Bryce's head, he breathed out softly, "Shh," he hushed as Bryce let out a choked sob,"It'll be alright. For now, just try to get some rest...and we will talk more in the morning..." Ryan stated in a delicate whisper.

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"Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck!" Ryan cursed under his breath, quickly throwing his phone into his pocket and running into the kitchen to grab his keys. Hastily, he ran out the front door, not even bothering to lock it as he left. Getting in his car, he wasted no time in starting it up and backing out of the driveway. Ryan pressed the gas pedal to the floor, speeding to the hospital at an ungodly speed.

It was about 11 and the city streets were nearly deserted. Ryan looked out his windshield to the sky as a near deafening bout of thunder cracked the tense air. Heavy rain drops started to fall and he flicked on the windshield wipers, whisking away the unwanted dots of water that clouded his vision.

Thoughts of the text he had received were running through his mind.

'Ryan, this is Bryce's father.'

'We're at the hospital... Bryce fainted earlier...'

'And well, he's not doing too good.'

'I think that you should be here...'

As soon as the messages came through, Ryan's heart sunk. He knew what was coming, what he'd likely see in that hospital room, but he needed to be there for Bryce no matter what.

It didn't take long for him to reach the hospital and find a parking spot. He quickly put the car in park and hopped out, sliding the hood of his dark maroon sweatshirt up over his head in a feeble attempt to block out the substantial rainfall.

He ran quickly to the front doors of the hospital, rain splattering against his face and piercing through his clothes like icy bullets. The sliding doors parted as he ran through, wiping his soaping wet tennis shoes against the rough dark green carpet. Ryan scoffed slightly and walked forward, the second set of doors opening as he went. Pacing to the front desk, he removed his hood and looked to the person that sat behind the wooden counter. "I'm here to see a patient..." he stated, panting slightly.

The young man looked up and furrowed his brows slightly. "ID?" Ryan hastily whipped out his wallet and retrieved his driver's license, shoving it toward the desk attendant with a twinge of impatience. "Who are you here to see?" He questioned, his face focused as he looked at his computer.

"Bryce- Bryce McQuaid."

The young male typed away for a second before looking back at Ryan. "Relation?"

Ryan looked anxiously down the hallway before answering. "He's my boyfriend..." he stated bluntly earning an oblong glance from the man. Ryan blushed it off, shifting his weight from one foot to the other with nervousness.

"Alright," the man started, "Room 214." he stated and Ryan nodded his thanks before quickly heading to the elevator.

Pressing the up button, he waited. Nothing happened and he chewed his nails slightly. Another second of waiting and he turned on his heel. "Fucking of course." he muttered with irritation and headed for the stairs, flinging open the heavy door. He ran up the steps, taking two stairs at a time until he reached the door for the second floor. With a deep breath, he opened the door. At the end of the long hall, he could see two people sitting in chairs. A blonde haired woman of relatively short stature and a tall, very thin looking man with dark hair- Bryce's parents.

Ryan gulped and walked in their direction. The long hall felt nearly endless, silent and all consuming. It made his breath hitch. He was snapped from his thoughts as Bryce's father stood from his chair, looming over him. There was a moment of silence before he hugged Ryan, patting him firmly on the back. He let go and Ryan could see the pain behind his eyes. There was a pang in his chest and he looked away, meeting the eyes of Bryce's mother. She always did have a harder time accepting him, but in this moment, she looked not at him with hatred but sorrow. She stood as well and gave him a hug. Ryan hugged back in silent astonishment.

It was bittersweet, really.

Here he was, bonding with the love of his life's parents, but it was over something so heart wrenching that it didn't seem worth it...

Ryan broke the hug and gave her a reassuring, yet sad half smile. The corners of his lips trembled, but he tried to keep himself together and lightly pat her shoulder before turning to the hospital room door.

Room 214.

With a shaky breath, he slowly opened the door. He could instantly hear the sound of mechanical beeping and heavy breathing. It wasn't breathing? It was the hissing of oxygen gas as it fogged the clear plastic face mask that Bryce wore over his mouth and nose. Tubes ran up to his snow white arms, stuck into his smooth skin with jagged needles. Ryan inhaled sharply and blinked, trying not to cry at the sight. He shuffled to the side of the hospital bed, kneeling on the hard tile floor, placing his hands on the side of the bed gingerly. "Bryce..." he murmured feebly as he looked upon his boyfriends ashen pallor. "Please get better-" Tears began to trickle down his face, despite his best efforts to keep it together.

This was the person that he planned on marrying someday. The person that he envisioned spending the rest of his life with and growing old with. The images of children and shimmering wedding rings faded into black as he stared down at the thin, skeletal form of his lover. He reached out with trembling hands and tangled his fingers with Bryce's.

His hands were cold... so cold...

Ryan sniffled, licking his dry lips and biting them together with a weak hum as he swallowed the growing lump in his throat. "Bryce..." He started, blinking tears from his eyes, "I-I know you probably can't hear me, but-" his voice cracked and he let out a stifled cough, "I just wanted to say I'm sorry." There was, of course, no response, leaving nothing but the sound of shrill beeping and low hissing to fill the room.

Ryan tightened his grip on his boyfriend's hand and looked up at his unconscious face. This wasn't at all how he had imagined it would happen. He thought, maybe, that they would be in their nineties with white hair, wrinkled skin and fading memories, but no... he looked now upon the barely 20 year old male that lied motionless in a hospital bed dying.

It wasn't right.

Ryan pried his eyes off of Bryce and looked down at the floor where his knees seemed to be anchored. "I'm sorry for not being there as often as I should have been and I'm sorry that I didn't take you to your favorite yogurt place more often and I'm sorry that we didn't get to go to PAX because I had work and I'm sorry that I didn't always listen to what you had to say and I'm sorry... I'm just sorry." At this point, his rambling had become intangible and his voice was a raspy mess of deep wheezing breaths and horribly ugly sounding hicks as he sobbed. Tears were flowing like a broken dam. "I'm so sorry..."

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Today was the day....

Ryan felt hollow.

Dead inside.

It was as if he himself was losing his life, and in a way, he was.

His life....

It was being taken from him by the untimely and unforgiving clutches of death.

Bryce hadn't been in stable condition for weeks and his parents had made a difficult decision....

THE decision....

Despite Ryan's inner screams and clawing thoughts, he just bit his tongue and kept to himself.

It was for the best.

And he didn't actually have any say...

Quite the difficult pill to swallow, but it had to go down sooner or later.

Ryan sat outside the door to the hospital room that he had seemingly been living in for the past two weeks.

Room 214.

He rubbed his face, head in hands as he slouched forward in his chair. It was nearly time. His thoughts were consuming him, but he tried anything to drown them out, his favorite option being that of the memories he had of Bryce.

His smile.

His sparkling blue eyes that shone brighter than the sky itself.

His smooth, perfect skin.

The way that the moon always seemed to catch his complexion perfectly.

His light and airy voice that seemed to rise in excitement every time Ryan returned home from work.

His child like expression whenever the two of them played video games together, which was their favorite pass time.

His youthful exuberance and even his stubborn resistance about waking up in the morning.

The way that he felt under Ryan's fingers and the way that their lips fit together perfectly, almost like puzzle pieces.

The tingly feeling that Ryan got whenever he looked at Bryce.

It was love.... Without a doubt.

With a tired sigh, Ryan sat back, looking around the deserted hallway. It was seemingly always empty, besides himself. There were dark purple and black rings under his eyes and his cheeks were red from the constant wiping away of tears. His nose was cracked nearly to the point of bleeding from the irritating friction of Kleenex against his once smooth skin. He looked like a mess, to say the least. He had never felt so devastated and the worst hadn't even been affirmed yet.

There was an ominous clicking sound echoing from down the hall and Ryan glanced up to see what it was.

The doctor.

Usually he was followed by a parade of nurses, all of them dressed head to toe in medical garb, ready to perform a resuscitation, but now it was only the doctor. He walked slowly, his posture as straight as a board, yet his solemn expression gave away the true nature of his appearance. Ryan had started to learn what everything meant due to the long amounts of time that he had spent in that god damned hospital. Someone was about to die and Ryan knew exactly who it was. He slowly stood, his once sturdy form now thin due to lack of proper food and nutrients. The doctor gave him a firm nod before brushing past him and knocking on the door to Bryce's room.

Room 214.

The door opened to reveal Bryce's father, who looked almost as bad as Ryan at this point, his eyes bloodshot and his old, sun touched cheeks pale and stained with tears. It was difficult to see him in such a way. Ryan had always looked up to him as a strong man, but now he looked small and weak. Both Ryan and the Doctor entered to room to see Bryce's mother with her head against Bryce's abdomen, weeping as she listened to the faint heart beat that resonated within her son's chest. Ryan rubbed a soothing circle into her back as he joined at her side, trying to quiet her loud mournful sobs. They were impossibly heart wrenching. A mother losing her child always seemed to have that effect...

The doctor cleared his throat and moved to the opposite side of the bed. "Are you ready or do you think you need some more time?" He asked softly.

Nothing but stifled cries came as a reply.

"Okay..." The doctor uttered somberly and reached over. He turned off the oxygen, fog no longer filling the mask that covered Bryce's face. He lightly tugged off the mask and set it on a tray beside the bed. Next, he removed the the IV, taping off the needle so that none of the clear liquid would go to waste. He the looked over to Bryce's father who gave him the faintest nod, his expression blank and his eyes dark. The doctor returned the nod and bent over, pulling the plug on Bryce's life support. The persistent beeping came to an end and an obscene silence fell heavy over the room. The doctor leaned over Bryce, making his final checks before quickly scrawling something on a small clip board that he had on him. With a deep sigh, he turned to the three others in the room. "If you'd like to talk, there are support groups and places you can call for support... Here." He pulled a handful of brochures from his long white coat and handed them over to Mr. McQuaid who hesitantly accepted them with shaky hands. Ryan stared blankly at Bryce's pale face, his teeth clenched together tightly.

It was over so quickly....

With the pull of a plug, the person Ryan loved the most was gone.

He had felt the need to cry, but no tears came, only anger and hate. Why?

Why did this have to happen? Bryce was so carefree and kind. He was a good person. He was truthful and did everything with a gentle touch. He was so loving and always helped others. He was young!

He was too young to die....

Ryan stormed from the room and clawed at his hair, taking deep, broken breaths into his weak lungs. He paced, trying to take everything in as dark thoughts flooded his mind.

"God dammit! Fuck!" He exclaimed and clenched his fists, his knuckles turning white. Seething, he drew back his arm and he landed a forceful punch to the wall, the small room sign falling from to the floor at the shear force with which he had hit the plaster. Ryan, breathing heavily, held his hand. He was sure it was broken, but he didn't care. With a choked sob, tears finally made their way to the surface and Ryan fell to his knees. Hot tears streamed down his cheeks and dripped down to the floor, landing on the plastic square door sign that read-

Room 214.

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(A/N:) So?

How do you feel?

Is you good????

No? okay

Well

Thanks for reading and have a great day!