Board shorts should be banned. They make my calfs look weirdly thin. And my ankles. My feet also look bony. I don't remember the last time I wore flip-flops.

It probably sounds odd coming from someone who has spent years of his life naked in front of cameras. It's just that these shorts cover my thick thighs and because they are so wide at the end, it makes the rest look like two sticks.

"Devin, what are you doing?"

Tania carries a box of lei strings and tries to hide a smile. I've been looking at my reflection on a glass and pulling the leg of my shorts up and down.

"I have chicken legs," my voice comes out almost whiny. "Give me safety pins to make these shorter,"

Tania snorts and continues walking. I look at her back side, and her butt and legs look amazing in her board shorts. The only distracting thing from that view is the wild and colorful parrot print on them. At least mine are navy blue with white hibiscus flowers.

I head to the van and stack some boxes. My arms glisten from the thin layer of sweat on them. The air is thick with moisture and I find it too bad that I have to work. The clear beach water looks inviting.

Tania positions two standing surfing boards on either side of the cake table, then hangs a cord between them. We then clip the leis to it to form a pretty background and hang an inflatable number seven in the middle. A grass skirt finishes the table and we move on to decorate the rest of the large gazebo.

Mr. and Mrs. Williams arrive and I sense trouble. Or maybe I don't sense it and the murderous look she is giving him is a hint. The guests of honor are their twins, a boy and a girl. In a stroller, the youngest sibling is glued to a tablet and is oblivious to what's going around.

"Hello Mrs. Williams. Hello Mr. Williams,"  Tania says.

"I told you. You can call me Noah," the man grins while holding Tania's hand a bit too long for my taste.

I move next to her. He looks at my face and let go of her hand.

"This is Devin, my-"

"Her boyfriend,"

Mr. Williams takes a step back and gazes around the room. Mrs. Williams is past the glaring at him stage. Tonight he will sleep in the dog house.

"Mrs. Williams, I have placed the cake table out of the sun. Even fondant won't stand moisture like we are having today. I know we talked about having the activities in the beach area, but we should clear a space in case it rains," Tania points to an area nearby.

"Nonsense! My weather app says it will stay dry the whole day," Mr. Williams says.

"Who the hell made you weather man?" Mrs. Williams snaps at him. "What do you have in mind Tania?" her voice turns into a sweet tone.

The women head to a table to discuss the change. I take a beach ball and start inflating it.

"Women," Mr. Williams scoffs. "A small mistake and they stay on your case the whole day. She thinks that I can read minds and now she's mad because I forgot the baby inside the house," he shrugs.

I take another beach ball and repeat the process. My whole body language shouts 'go away!'.

"You probably know what I mean. Your girlfriend seems hot to handle as well," he gives me an unwelcome shove with his shoulder.

"Not at all," I shrug. I hope Tania isn't mad at me for calling her my girlfriend.

"Maybe mine is just a bitch,"

"Bitch!"

We all look at the baby in the stroller who smiles and repeats the curse word. Tania looks at me with surprise and the corner of her thick lips curl.

Mrs. Williams brings the baby away and her death stare is more powerful than ever. Mr. Williams rolls his eyes and heads to the twins who are already rolling in the sand.

"Hey boyfriend," Tania says as she comes to help me with the beach balls.

"I'm sorry. He was looking at you-"

"I'm teasing you," she laughs. "I can defend myself pretty well, but it felt nice to have someone else do it for a change," she rubs my arm with affection.

"You are welcome, I guess," I smile and must admit that it also felt nice to protect her.

Tania and I work non-stop arranging little pails and shovels, floaters, squirt guns and even mini bottles of luxurious sunscreen. I don't know what is the difference with the one I buy at the pharmacy.

For the smaller guests we filled a little pool with foam balls. I will be playing games with the kids while Tania will make crafts. I'm happy with this arrangement as I enjoy being active. I have materials to play coconut bowling and water balloon races.

In the meantime, I've been keeping an eye on the Williams. Her face is radiant as she receives her guests. His is glued to Tania's butt until he figures I'm watching him and he pretends to care about the people present.

I start the first game with the kids. This time, the girls are on fire. There's a little one about Roxy's age that I swear spends her time after school at the local bowling alley.

I wonder what my girl is doing right now. Stephen got me a lawyer and I will be seeing him next week. I only hope Tessa doesn't see this as a threat and makes things even more difficult.

"How's it going?" Tania comes to stand next to me.

"They are having fun," I say while the little girl makes another strike.

"Damn she's good!" she laughs and places her arm around my waist. "Is Mr. Williams looking?"

I look to my side and yes, he is.

"He was just by the crafts table complaining about the wife. He asked me what you have that a woman like me picked you,"

"A brain," I say and place my arm around her waist.

Mr. Williams now gives me his wife's annoyed stare.

"We are moving fast. First fake dating, now fake relationship. Are you going to fake propose next?" Tania laughs. Her eyes get as big as saucers when I start going down on one knee. "What are you doing Dev?"

Now is my turn to laugh. "Teasing you,"

Tania looks relieved. She then looks at the sky and frowns. "That cloud looks nasty,"

"We should get all the kids under the gazebo and switch to a craft. The stuff I have laying here can get wet and won't be a problem,"

"Let's see how long it takes the weather man to make a comment,"

The answer is: not long. We round up the kids and display paper flowers and pieces of straw to make leis. He takes his phone out and shows his weather app to his friends while laughing at us.

"See? No rain,"

We ignore him and the kids enjoy being out of the heat. They drink lemonade and eat cookies and fruit salad. We help the younger guests from time to time when they need it. The oldest ones are even competitive on who makes the longest lei.

I hear the rumble of thunder mixed with the music coming from the speakers. Tania heard it as well. She walks to the edge of the gazebo and looks again at the large dark cloud above us.

The flash of lightning and loud thunder surprises us. I think a scream even left my throat. Kids run to their parents and a few cries. The wind is coming from all directions and brings rain with it. Tania and I move quickly and get plastic tablecloths and binder clips. First, we cover the cake table and I grab one of the surfing boards on time before it hits Tania on the head.

"Goodness! That was close. Thanks Devin," she says as we get the boards under the table.

The buffet table is next. Mr. Williams stands in the middle of the room looking lost. A few of his friends mock him, saying he needs a new weather app. We cover the table and then head to the craft table to move it a few inches towards the inside of the room.

People are huddled in the middle. The temperature has dropped considerably and I have goosebumps on my arms and legs.

"This is heavier than I expected after seeing that cloud," Tania says next to me while rubbing her arms.

I place my arms around her shoulders to share a bit of my body heat. "The wind is strong. Hopefully it will move away soon and we can continue,"

"Noah? Where's Ava?" Mrs. Williams asks her husband.

"I thought she was with you," he shrugs.

"I can't split myself! Can you do something right for a change?"

The Williams focus on pointing their faults and miss track of what's wrong.

"DEVIN! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?" I hear Tania shout behind me.

I'm looking for the baby. That's what I'm doing. I look at the edge of the ocean, but it's empty. I comb the activities area and carve my way in the ball pool but the baby isn't there. Another loud thunder resonates and lighting cracks the air and I have to cover my ears.

I hear a little cry nearby the picnic tables and start looking under. I find Ava wet and covered in sand. Holding the baby close to my body, I sprint back to the gazebo. I'm surrounded by everyone as I get there and Mrs. Williams hugs her baby. 

"Dev, you are a hero," Tania caresses my hair and looks into my eyes.

I feel myself blushing and shiver at the same time. 

"Let me get you a towel,"

Mr. Williams walks to me and shakes my hand without saying a word. I would give anything to be in the company of my daughter. I hope this places his life in perspective and he values the family he has.