My poor heart has been lately the victim of a mix of panic, heart and anxiety attacks. I keep forgetting that not only the people who has seen my movies can recognize me, but also the people involved in the production of movies. If it was at the beginning of my career when it was just a guy holding a camcorder while we got busy in a dingy motel, it wasn't a problem. Before I left, I had a whole crew of perverts who knew how to operate film and audio equipment, wardrobe and makeup people and of course the stars. Those are only the people involved in making an actual movie. In the main office we had administrators, marketing representatives and all other sort of people who knew me. Every time I get closer to screwing my chances without even trying to. 

That's why I kept a low key profile during the past two weeks. I stayed mostly at home, ordered food and tried to forget it all. At work, I talk when Tania asks me a question and otherwise I keep to myself. I have the idea that Tania doesn't trust me and I don't blame her. I only need to survive until the beginning of January. Four months to go... God, that is long. I hope Roxy hasn't forgotten me.

The doorbell rings and I'm curious of who could it be on a Saturday morning. I'm expecting Tania to come and pick me to head to a tea party birthday, but she won't be here anytime soon. I open the door and feel surprised when I find Stephen and Mason standing in the hallway.

"Hey," is all I manage to say to my unexpected guests.

"We brought breakfast... Nah, it's too early for that. We brought lunch," Mason shows me a bag of a fast food chain. "Ack! I hate that word. I sound like Mom with her 'let's do lunch sometime'," he says in a high voice and then shivers in disgust.

I move aside to let them in and try not to shiver myself at the memory of Stephen's wife. The bitter divorce happening at the same time Stephen found me left her with a profound dislike of my existence. 

"To what do I owe the honor of this visit?" I ask, even though I know the reason why they are here. 

I received a call yesterday morning from the lawyer, and it wasn't good news. Therefore, I still have a minimum of four months left as a birthday entertainer. I've been trying to forget about it but so to see, it won't work.

"My lawyer called me," his face shows disappointment. "I feel really sorry about the news. Social Services and the judge won't budge about the conditions for visitation. Did you threaten your boss at the coffee shop?" he wonders.

"Threaten?" I feel surprised. "Why would I do that? What does he have to do with the case?"

"The case investigators checked your past employment references. They left out your current one as requested. At all of them you had to leave after being recognized for your past adult film career,"

"Stephen, just call it porn. It wasn't fancy or prestigious," I feel irritated.

"Okay... porn. Then your ex-boss from the coffee shop said that on the day you got fired you behaved in a menacing way," he crumples the edge of one of the paper bags in a nervous gesture.

"Such bullshit. I didn't even raise my voice. He tried to say he didn't want me to touch the drinks knowing where my hands had been. I told him to not start on that. If defending myself from an insult counts as a threat, then yeah, I did it," I cross my arms over my chest to avoid punching the wall. 

"I agree," Mason unpacks the food on the kitchen counter. Even though it smells good, my stomach is upset from anger. "The only thing this situation proves is that half of the town is horny," my half brother shrugs. "Punishing you for it is pointless as they are all guilty. I wonder how many people recognized you and avoided saying it out loud for fear of admitting they watch porn," he stashes a few fries in his mouth.

His comment make me smile and relax. He has a point. Unfortunately not one I can use on my defense, but I appreciate he's on my side. Suddenly the fries and the tower burger he places in front of me look appealing.

"We won't throw the towel that easily Dev," Stephen hands me a large soft drink cup. "I want to explore all avenues. There must be a way for you to see your daughter. A supervised visit. We can all be there if they won't let you see her alone,"

"I also want to meet her," Mason begins. "I want her to be my wing man... woman... kid... oh you get it,"

"No, I don't," I laugh.

"Hot dude with a cute girl in a mall? Total chick magnet,"

"You want to hang with a five-year-old at the mall and you think you are hot?" I scoff.

"Of course I'm hot. You have fucked tons of girls and we look alike a lot," Dad cringes a bit at the rawness of his comment.

"Mason, that doesn't make me hot, and don't bring up my past career,"

"Tell him Dad! You probably have been with tons of girls too,"

Stephen looks at him with amused eyes. "I've only been with two women in my life,"

"That is so lame," Mason complains. "Dev, you have seen tons of men while making those movies. You must know the difference between hot and meh,"

"Why am I even allowing this discussion? Here, stuff your mouth with fries and shut up," I say and push a box of food towards him.

I take a bite of my burger and must admit that I'm finding it okay to have them here. More than okay.

"So two women..." I say to Stephen.

He nods and smiles. "Only your moms,"

"One-night stands didn't exist back then," Mason hides a smile with a big bite of his food.

"Yeah, yeah. Make fun of the old man," Stephen says and I can see he likes this situation as well.

The door bell rings again and I guess it must be Tony. I head to open the door and find Tania standing in the hallway.

"Hey. I thought you were coming to pick me in about two hours," I let her inside.

"Change of plans. The mom just called me to ask what time we would be there. She freaked out when she realized that she changed the time of the party and forgot to tell us. I swear Devin, I wanted to push my hand through the phone and strangle her. What is that smell? It smells like burgers from Biggies. Are you eating Biggies?"

Tania takes a couple of steps inside and gazes around my apartment. She spots the bags on the counter and strides to them. Right before my burger makes it to her lips, she spots Stephen and Mason who are frozen to their spots.

"Oh, hi! I didn't realize you had company," she blushes and places the burger back on the counter.

"Tania, these are Stephen and Mason. My boss Tania,"

Stephen's eyebrows shoot up and Mason grins at her. Tania has a bit of a mad look today. Probably triggered by the sudden mess in her plans.

"We have more if you want to join us," my half brother says.

"Oh no, sorry. I can make myself busy while you guys finish your meal," she looks for an escape route.

"Nonsense. You almost ate my food,"

Tania gives me a sheepish smile. Stephen opens another bag and pulls another burger and more fries.

"We thought Tony might be here, so we brought extra," he explains.

My boss opens the burger wrapper with reverence and then takes a shameless bite.

"Dammit, this is so good..." she moans. "I didn't eat anything this morning. I was hoping to stuff myself with miniature sandwiches and sweets at the tea party,"

"What sort of business do you have?" Mason asks.

"Party stylist and entertainer. Devin here is my savior. I used to do everything on my own and was on the brink of madness,"

Her love display for a Biggies burger makes me think she is past the brink. I catch Steven looking at me with a small smile and I'm sure he thinks the same.

"Tea parties, ack! Mom throws too many of those," Mason grimaces. "I can't see how people like the leaf-tasting water and those cucumber slices on stale bread. Give me Biggies anytime over that," 

"Absolutely agree. It pays the bills, so I suck it up and pretend I enjoy them. And how do you know Devin?"

I don't know how to react to the question. I've never mentioned them before, only about Tony. She will think I'm lying to her.

"I'm Devin's father and Mason is my son. Devin and I are still getting to know each other. I only found about him recently. If he hasn't mentioned us, it's understandable as this is new for all of us,"

I feel shocked and grateful for his words. He told her the truth. We met each other more than a year ago and had a rocky start as I didn't want anything to do with him. After careful consideration and Tony's insistence, I started meeting with him.

"I see the resemblance. You all have the same eyes and hair color," Tania smiles as she looks at us.

We finish our food while retelling anecdotes of our recent parties. Mason laughs loudly and Stephen looks proud. I wasn't looking forward to the tea party of this afternoon, but now I only hope we have fun stuff happening that I can tell to my father and my brother. 

Mason and I clear the kitchen while Tania and Stephen talk in the living room.

"Is she single?" Mason asks in a whisper.

"No!" I reply and feel a bit bothered by it.