Never in my life I've had so much stress in one week.

Last Saturday, the moment I'd realized Tania saw my tattoo I had a small panic attack. My skin turned cold and clammy. This is it, I thought; two months is all it took for the truth to come out and bite me in the ass.

But it didn't happen. Tania just took my hand, caressed the ink with her fingers and had an amused smile.

"The skin isn't red, and the ink has faded. This tattoo isn't new. How come I've never noticed it before?" she asked.

I decided right then and there to tell her the truth... the partial truth.

"Tony taught me how to cover it with makeup. I'm not sure if I mentioned before that he is a makeup artist. It usually stays fine even when I wash my hands. I guess cleaning so many kids with the wipes removed it," I rubbed my thumb over the skin.

"You should totally teach me your tricks. Specially to cover my dark eye circles after a long night of work," she chuckled.

"That is more Tony's field. This was more out of necessity," I blew a deep breath.

"Why did you hide it from me?" she placed her hands on her hips.

"Kids and guy with a tattoo playing with them. What will the parents think? You made me shave my beard, remember?"

"They can fuck off for all I know. It hasn't stopped business for me in six years," she grinned.

Her words kind of slapped me. She couldn't mean that... but she did.

Tania lifted her blouse and on the right side of her ribs, three little pink balloons decorate her skin. She told me not to worry about it; to continue to cover the tattoo if I feel more comfortable about it. Otherwise she's fine with it.

I survived another day.

Then the Monday after the birthday, I was at my apartment organizing my finances when a knock at the door interrupted me.

I opened the door to find Mason, my half brother, standing there. My same blue eyes were bloodshot. His body stunk of alcohol.

"You shouldn't even exist," he slurred while poking at my chest.

"Why shouldn't I exist?" I asked without letting him come in.

"You came, and now he doesn't give a shit about anybody but you. Why did you have to look for him?"

"Mason, your father searched for me. I didn't even know who he was,"

"What's in this for you? Money? Why did he get you a lawyer? I swear if you get Dad in trouble I will tear you to pieces!" he held to the door frame to keep his balance.

I'm glad my neighbor works and didn't hear this. I looked at him and saw pain in his eyes. Not like when Harper, his sister, came to scream at me. Back then hers were full of fury.

"Come in. Let me make you some coffee and we will talk,"

Mason looked at me with surprise. He sat clumsily on a bar stool in my kitchen while I turned on the coffee machine. I grabbed Roxy's photo from the fridge and placed it in front of him.

"My daughter Roxy. I'm dealing with a custody battle. Stephen convinced me to use his lawyer,"

Mason took the photo and caressed it with his fingers.

"I have a niece," he whispered with the same awe as when Stephen found he is a grandfather.

"Look at this apartment. Do you think I need money? I also own three houses that I rent, and I have a part-time job,"

"But Harper said-"

"-Harper should talk with me instead of throwing a temper tantrum,"

After two mugs of coffee, Mason looked and sounded much better. It was kind of weird to sit in my kitchen with my 25-year-old brother.

"Is it true that you do porn? Harper told me, but I couldn't find anything," he said while staring at his coffee mug.

"Did. I retired a bit more than a year ago,"

"Was that when you got-"

"-yeah, then. That is now in the past and can't say I regret it. Now I'm trying something else. I never saw myself in the adult industry forever,"

I felt grateful when Mason didn't inquire more on the topic. I told him to stop by anytime and put him in a taxi to his house.

Wednesday afternoon brought me a call from one of my tenants. The water pipe under the sink was leaking, and it needed a repair. I took my toolbox and headed there. The state the house was in horrified me. This wasn't how I left it when they rented it six months ago. Whenever I rent a property, I have it cleaned by a crew and the walls get fresh paint. I even replace any appliances that don't work properly.

This was a disaster! A brown stain covered a wall and I don't even want to imagine where it comes from. The bathroom door had a hole in it and one of the windows a crack. I felt so mad. I fixed the leakage and told them I wanted them out of the house by the end of the month. They can kiss their deposit goodbye!

Yesterday I had a date. An unexpected, unwelcome, unpleasant date arranged by Tony. He thought he was doing me a favor. Says I need to get laid. The woman in question gave more attention to her phone than to me. The conversation was awkwarder than coffee with Stephen and when we finished dinner and got in my car, her hand found my crotch and her boobs my face. I pushed her back carefully, started the car and brought her home. I'm done with that.

Why couldn't he get me a woman like Tania? We don't seem to run out of things to talk and she's always teaching me stuff. I like how she cocks her head to the side when I tell her something. On those moments, all the attention is on me. I also like it when she sits behind her sewing machine and sticks pencils in her knotted hair. She forgets them and keeps adding more. And I can't deny that her body and those fantastic boobs are a gift to mankind.

"Can you start mounting the curtain?" she interrupts my not so innocent thoughts.

"Sure," I grab the metal tubes and begin to mount the frame.

"The guest tables are done. Only the gifts table and this one are left," she points at the table that eventually will contain a chocolate cake and an array of sandwiches, fruit and veggie snacks.

"I've never been to a baby shower. This doesn't look much different from a birthday party,"

"It isn't," she covers the table with a yellow jute tablecloth. "I think it's a pretty good deal. People get fed, play silly games and bring nice gifts for the baby. With my family being so large and everything, I've spent a good fortune in gifts,"

"I thought you only did kid's birthdays, yet here we are working on a safari baby shower,"

"I organize anything that pays," she adds some tree stumps that will serve as tiered trays. "If someone asks me for a wedding or a divorce party and gives me a god sum, I will do it too,"

Tania places an elephant, a lion and a giraffe on the table. We bought those in a toy shop and I spray-painted them in white.

"I still think you should have gone for the bag with the small animals," I say.

"Choke hazard for small children. Never again," she shakes her head and her curls bounce.

"Has it happened before?"

"Yeah, not in one of my parties. One where I was a guest. After that I took a first aid course and avoid using tiny stuff at my parties," she drags two metal tins to the front of the table. Those will be filled with ice and carafes of fresh juice.

"Scary. I never thought about it,"

"How was your date?" she hands me the first piece of light brown fabric.

"Disastrous,"

"Was she ugly?"

"No, she was really hot,"

"Then... did she... stink?" she tries to hide a smile.

"She smelled lovely,"

"Aaaw, come on Devin! The suspense is killing me,"

"Her goal in life is to become a famous vlogger. She believes there is money in making videos about her trying sunglasses. She has an impressive collection according to her Instagram account,"

I expect Tania to say something. I look behind me and she is staring at me with her mouth open.

"I wish I was making that up," I smile.

"What else did you talk about?"

"Not much. She asked me what I do for a living and I told her about the party planning. She got all icky when I told her we were doing a baby shower. According to her, she doesn't want to have babies because they will ruin her body. I knew it was an awful date with no future, but then I knew she was wasting my time. I can't be with a woman who doesn't want to have kids,"

Shock fills Tania's face and before I can say anything, she strides to the gifts table and dresses it. The rest of the time we don't even exchange one word. I have fucked it up miserably with her. I wish her a good weekend, and she slammed the van door, even forgetting that I took a ride with her. I call a taxi and feel the stress of the week catching up with me. My stomach churns and I try to calm myself by taking shallow breaths.

Once I get home, I just crash on my bed. How am I going to fix this?