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제 33 장: A Measure of Guilt


"Won Soo!"

Young Min kicked out at his current opponent, cursing as a searing pain tore up his leg in protest. He gritted his teeth against the discomfort and blocked the next attack, all the while trying to get to the prone form of his servant, to see if Won Soo was all right.

But it was no use! Even though Ji Hoon's men and the mountain bandits were fighting each other, they still outnumbered Young Min, and his curse was not helping. Any moment now, and the pain in his legs would be too unbearable to ignore. He would-

"WHAT IN THE NAME OF THE KING IS GOING ON HERE?"

If there was one thing Young Min could say about the mountain bandits, it was that they got distracted easily. He used the interruption to knock his opponent unconscious with the hilt of his sword before his own legs gave way and he collapsed to the ground.

"I will not stand to have such a disturbance right outside my own home! I demand you all leave this instant!"

Young Min gritted his teeth and finally looked up to find the source of the outburst. None other than Jimin's father was standing in the doorway to his estate, with a handful of manservants holding various gardening instruments standing behind him as enforcement.

Ji Hoon's three skilled fighters were the first to leave, shooting glares in Young Min's direction as they limped off down the road. Young Min did not trust them to stay away for long-after all, their employer still resided behind the walls of the Oh estate. As soon as Jimin's father went back inside, they would return.

The robbers staggered away next, supporting three of their own fighters who did not rise, including the one that Young Min had just knocked unconscious.

That only left Young Min and the prone form of Won Soo lying in the middle of the street.

Ignoring the pain of his curse, Young Min staggered to his feet-or tried to. His legs refused to hold his weight any longer, and he instead resorted to crawling across the ground to reach his servant.

"Won Soo!" Young Min hissed. There was a pool of blood forming on the ground, and a large gash in his servant's side. Won Soo's eyes were closed and his face was dangerously pale.

"Is that you, Park Young Min?" Jimin's father called out, and Young Min looked up. "What are you doing here, in the middle of all this ruckus?"

Young Min could feel tears forming in his eyes and blinked them back furiously. "Please," he said, "Can you help him?"

Jimin's father gestured to two of the servants behind him, and the men stepped out from the gate to pick up Won Soo and carry him inside. Young Min tried to go with them, but his legs still refused to cooperate.

"Well?" Jimin's father said. "Get up!"

Young Min shook his head. "I-I can't."

Another servant was sent to help Young Min to his feet, and the young noble leaned on the man's offered shoulder as they made their way through the front gate.

Then Young Min suddenly stopped. "Wait!"

He turned around, searching the road behind him. But it was empty, and Kim Nara was nowhere to be found. Where had she gone?

"What is it?" Jimin's father asked, sounding a bit annoyed.

"Um, nothing. Nevermind," Young Min said.

"Hmph. What were you doing out there, anyway? I thought the son of the Minister of Justice wouldn't involve himself in such...affairs." The distaste in the nobleman's voice was obvious as they continued walking through the yard to the house. "There has been talk in the town that you've been involved in some disreputable matters as of late. I certainly didn't think I'd see someone with such a distinguished background associating in a street fight with a group of lowly thugs right outside my front door."

"I'll be quite willing to talk about this later, after I see to it that my servant is better," Young Min said as they stepped inside the Oh family's home.

"Hmph." Jimin's father said. "You might want to prepare yourself. That one doesn't look like he'll make it."

Young Min bit his tongue against the man's insensitivity. If Jimin's father decided to evict them, Won Soo would die for certain.

As soon as Won Soo was placed in a guest room, one of the servants left for a doctor while Young Min followed Jimin's father to another room.

"I must thank you for your hospitality," Young Min said once they had been seated. Jimin's father was on a large red cushion behind his desk, legs crossed and hands on his knees. Young Min sat opposite him, on a smaller, green cushion, quite conscious of the dirt and blood from the fight that was getting on the expensive silk.

"Please explain what happened just outside my home, and how you came to be involved in it," Jimin's father said. "A doctor has been called for and will be here shortly to attend to your friend."

"Thank you," Young Min said, feeling some of his anxiety lessen with the rush of gratitude at the man's words. "And I apologize for the confrontation just outside your front door. I had come to speak with a guest at your home-a renowned ceramics master from the royal kilns."

"Seok Ji Hoon? Why would you want to see him?"

"I had, ah-hoped to negotiate a trade, of sorts," Young Min said. He shifted awkwardly on his cushion, and couldn't mask the wince as pain shot up from his legs. "At any rate, I was accosted by a band of thugs who doubtless saw the opportunity of a wealthy young man on his own. I believe they intended to strip me of my wealth and leave me for dead, had you not intervened." It wasn't the truth, but he couldn't afford to lose the man's support at this time with tales of curses, corrupt noblemen, and revenge-bent robbers from the mountains.

Jimin's father leaned forward. "And were you attacked before or after meeting with Ji Hoon?"

Young Min swallowed the nervous lump in his throat. "We had already spoken and the conversation had not gone as I hoped. I had been dismissed."

"I see." The older man stood up, then, and walked across the room to pause at the door. "Seok Ji Hoon is an old acquaintance of mine. Although I have heard disagreeable rumors about you lately, I would like to think you still uphold the Confucian values of a proper yangban. I will bring him in and see if we cannot settle matters between the two of you."

Before Young Min could reply, Jimin's father had left the room.

Aish! If his legs were working properly, Young Min would have stood up and begun pacing the room. Confronting Ji Hoon again so shortly would only bring trouble, he was sure of it. The man would certainly try to make Young Min's motives appear malicious, and it would be only a matter of time before he realized Kim Nara was missing-if he hadn't already.

The door opened again a few minutes later, but it was not Jimin's father who stepped inside. Instead, it was Jimin herself, bearing a letter with an official-looking seal and a red ribbon tied around it.

"Abeoji, a messenger just arrived with an urgent notice from the Min-what are you doing here?!" Jimin nearly dropped the letter she was holding before regaining her composure. After a moment of stunned silence, she cleared her throat. "I thought Ji Hoon had sent you on your way."

"Evidently not," Young Min replied with a sigh. "In fact, your father has gone to arrange for him to meet with me a second time."

Jimin frowned, obviously puzzled. "But why? You got what you came for, didn't you?" Her voice wavered on the last word of her question.

Young Min tilted his head curiously. "What are you talking about?"

Jimin froze. "I, uh..."

At her hesitation to answer, Young Min regarded Jimin more closely. Her shoulders were hunched and she shifted nervously from foot to foot. Rather than being bitter and spiteful at him as she had been the last time they had met, she actually seemed-Young Min squinted-wary.

"Sujin didn't bring Kim Nara to the front gate of her own accord, did she?" Young Min guessed. "You told her to."

"Well, of course Sujin would never had done so if I hadn't ordered it," Jimin said.

"Why?"

"You asked to see her," Jimin replied stiffly.

"I did. But the last time we spoke-"

"I've been thinking about what you said," Jimin interrupted.

Young Min stilled. "And?"

Jimin glanced down at the letter in her hands nervously, then back up at him. "I don't know! I've just been thinking about it, is all." It was an unusual outburst, Young Min thought, but he didn't have time to come up with a reply. Jimin had turned to leave the room and avoid any more awkwardness between them, but the door opened before she could reach it and she nearly ran headlong into her father.

"Jimin!" the older man said. "What-"

"An urgent letter arrived for you, Abeoji," Jimin hastily cut in, holding out the aforementioned object. Her father took it from her and opened it, quickly scanning the contents while both his daughter and Young Min looked on.

"Ah," he finally said at last, folding the letter and looking over to Young Min. "I'll need to go to the marketplace immediately. You should be present as well. The ceramics master is evidently not here anyway, so there would be little point in you staying."

"With all due respect, I will need to ensure that my servant is well before I go anywhere," Young Min replied. Not to mention, he thought, his legs felt as though they were on fire. He would not be able to walk very far in his current state.

But Jimin's father seemed to understand Young Min's unspoken concern. "The doctor has arrived and is currently attending to your servant," he said. "After he has finished, I will send him in to attend to you before we leave."

"To heal Young Min?" Jimin asked, alarm crossing her face. "He wasn't stabbed, was he?" She glanced over to where the young noble sat, and Young Min pressed his lips together in a flat line. He had hoped to avoid telling Jimin about his mysterious affliction.

"No, I wasn't," Young Min admitted.

Jimin frowned. "Then what's the matter?"

"His legs seem to have gone a bit lame," Jimin's father explained. "I had to have one of the gardeners help him inside. Hopefully it's nothing the doctor can't fix."

Jimin grew very pale at her father's words, and steadied herself against the wall behind her. Young Min felt a rush of alarm, as she looked liable to fall over at any minute. Perhaps she was the one the doctor needed to attend to, and not him. After all, no one had been able to resolve his ailment before he set off for Miryang in desperation for a cure. Young Min doubted this doctor would be able to do anything, either.

Just then, there was a knock from outside, and the door slid open to reveal the aforementioned doctor waiting on the other side.

The man was tired-looking, with a graying beard and wide-set eyes peeking out from behind a pair of thick round glasses. He shuffled into the room looking almost as sick as the patients he cared for, and Young Min's confidence in the man was not improved.

"How is Won Soo?" Young Min asked, trying to hide the urgency in his tone.

The man's eyes darted over to the scholar before glancing over at Jimin, and then Jimin's father. When he had finished his quick assessment of the room's occupants, the doctor once again looked over to Young Min.

"The wound is too deep, and he has lost too much blood," the doctor said solemnly. "It is only a matter of time. I am sorry."

Young Min felt moisture gather in his eyes, and quickly blinked back the tears. It was his fault that his loyal servant was dying.

"I want to see him," he said, struggling to stand. But his curse was too far advanced, and he ended up collapsing back to the floor with a pained hiss. Across the room, Jimin gasped and brought a hand up to cover her mouth.

"Do you know what's wrong with him?" Jimin's father asked the doctor, indicating Young Min. The elderly man merely shook his head.

"No one does," Young Min said with gritted teeth. "Or no doctor does, at least."

Jimin's father looked back at the doctor and inclined his head in Young Min's direction. "Help him up," he said.

The doctor did as instructed, offering Young Min a shoulder to lean on. Young Min was a bit surprised to find that the old man was not as frail as he seemed as they made their way out of the room and down the hall to where Won Soo had been placed. Jimin's father led the procession, while Jimin herself trailed behind them.

Won Soo was unconscious and pale on the mattress he had been laid out on, with a large bandage wrapped around his stomach. Young Min felt tears well up again as he sat down beside his loyal servant and took his hand. Won Soo's skin was cold, and his breathing was ragged. Jimin let out a sob.

"I'll be waiting outside," Jimin's father said. He and the doctor excused themselves, but Jimin stayed where she was.

"You don't have to stay here," Young Min told her in the silence that followed.

Jimin shook her head adamantly. "Yes I do. It's my fault."

Young Min gave a tired sigh. "It's not your fault. I was the one who didn't see the man with the knife charging at me."

He squeezed Won Soo's limp hand and bowed his head. His mistake had cost him the life of a dear friend.

"No. It is my fault." Young Min looked up to see Jimin, much to his confusion, shaking her head again as she repeated her statement.

Young Min frowned. "You can't possibly think that."

The young noblewoman sniffled and wiped away a tear. "I do."

Now Young Min was growing irritated. "Look, I don't know what you think happened out there, but-"

"It's not just Won Soo!" Jimin blurted, face red and eyes watery.

Young Min froze. "What do you mean?"

"I-I mean..." Jimin seemed to have regretted her outburst as soon as it had happened. "I-I was angry with you," she finally whispered.

Young Min squinted at her, thoroughly confused. "I'm confused," he said, just in case Jimin couldn't already tell.

Jimin rubbed at her face and looked down at the floor. "Back when I first heard the rumor about you," she explained softly. "I was irrational and I...I did something I shouldn't have."

Young Min felt a sense of alarm creeping up on him at her words, and his eyes widened. Surely not...

"What did you do?" he asked, voice barely above a whisper.

Jimin glanced up at him, bottom lip trembling. As soon as she made eye contact, she looked away again.

"There was a shaman...and she suggested-she suggested..."

"You had her curse me," Young Min finished for her. Jimin nodded, confirming his growing suspicions. Since he had learned that he was cursed, he had thought that perhaps Il Woo had arranged something, or he was just the unlucky victim of a vengeful spirit. But to find out that the woman he once loved was the cause of his suffering? It was horrifying.

"I-I'm sor-"

"None of this would have happened," Young Min said. His voice sounded strange to him-flat, and cold. Was he angry? Should he yell at her? But why did he feel like crying?

Tears were running down Jimin's face. "I know," she said. "I know, and I feel so terrible about it-I didn't know, I wasn't thinking, I-"

"You know?" Young Min echoed, pinning her with an icy glare. "You don't know half of the troubles you have caused. You don't even talk to me before deciding to give in to a childish tendency, and pursue some dramatic form of retribution simply because you felt your pride was hurt? When you didn't even know if the rumor was true? Do you think life is just one giant game of baduk?"

Jimin took a hesitant step towards him. "I-"

"Get out," Young Min said, voice trembling. When Jimin continued to stand by the door, frozen to the spot, he finally gave in to his anger. "Get out!" he shouted. "Leave!"

Jimin gave another sob and pushed the door aside, stumbling out into the hallway and hurriedly sliding the door shut behind her. Young Min listened as her weeping gradually faded out of earshot, taking large, shaking breaths to calm himself. Alone in the room with Won Soo, the mournful atmosphere was oppressive.

"I'm so sorry, Won Soo," Young Min whispered. "I'll make things better, I promise. I won't let your sacrifice be in vain." He could no longer hold back his tears, and let them fall freely down his face. Won Soo remained unmoving, eyes closed and face impassive.

The door to the room slid open, and Young Min turned, ready to yell at Jimin again. He refrained from doing so, however, when he realized it was her father who had entered the room instead.

"I do apologize for interrupting," Jimin's father said. "I understand he was a very loyal companion. But this matter I must attend to is quite urgent, and I do strongly recommend you accompany me." He glanced at Won Soo. "Perhaps he will still...be here, when we return."

Young Min frowned. "But what could be so important as to make me leave now?" he asked.

Jimin's father fixed the young nobleman with a solemn look. "Your father has returned from the palace."

=======================================================

'Why couldn't you save Won Soo?' Don't make me gnaw your ears off. Haven't you been paying attention? Just because I have magic doesn't mean I'm a magician. While I'm able to do things that no mere mortal could dream of, even I have my limits. Besides, being away from my mountain was messing with my powers in ways I didn't like and tried my best to ignore. Would you have been able to sense a fight breaking out on the completely other side of town? I didn't think so. So keep that in mind, and don't blame me for what happened.

Now, traditional Korean beds, like the one Won Soo was lying on, are called yo. These are typically thick blankets-or thin mattresses-laid out on the floor for sleeping and folded up again in the morning. Quite the space-saver, if you ask me. Who wants an enormous European bed taking up half of their room? Not me, no thank you.

And as for baduk? It's a strategy game, also known as 'go' that originated in China. Two players take turns moving their black or white pieces on a board in an attempt to surround their opponent's pieces. Whoever succeeds in surrounding the most of their opponent's wins.

Oh, what is it now? You don't remember the last conversation Jimin and Young Min had? Oh, your mental capacities truly rival that of a goldfish. Let me sum it up for you...

Ahem.

"Oh, Young Min, whatever are you doing here at my home, after you've been gone for so long from town?"

"Jimin, my darling, I've come to see you."

"You rascal! After you visited such a lewd establishment several weeks ago! I nearly lost my good standing in society for associating with you!"

"Nay, 'twas not I who visited such a place."

"You're guilty until proven innocent!"

"No, I'm innocent until proven guilty!"

"I've had enough! I never wish to see you again! Begone!"

The end.

Ring any bells? Thought so. Now it looks as though Jimin is starting to have second doubts about believing the rumor she heard. Perhaps she should have confronted Young Min about the matter before rushing off to see a shaman-actually, there's no 'perhaps' about it. She should have done. But there's a lesson to be learned from this-make sure you check your facts before setting out for revenge. Or just learn to be the better person and don't bother in revenge at all. Sometimes it's preferable to kill with kindness.

Speaking of kindness, care to go for some traditional shaved ice? I know a great place a few blocks away. It's absolutely to die for.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A/N: Hi everyone! I'm back! (Well, sort of.) I have three days off for Thanksgiving next week so I decided it was time to finish this chapter finally and get it posted. I am so sorry for leaving you in the lurch after that last cliffhanger--thank you all so much for your patience! Like the title of this chapter, I've been feeling a bit guilty about that. I hope this chapter makes up for it!

Thank you everyone who has stuck with this story so far, and all my new readers! I've actually attempted a plot outline for once, and according to my estimations, there are only two chapters left after this one (although that might end up turning into 3!). I'm hoping to finish by the end of December. Special thanks to iluveblue for helping me finish writing this chapter finally and to winterstar5 who's been a great motivator with getting me to write as well with her referrals. Thank you again everyone! Each one of your votes and comments makes my day! ^_^

I've posted a video with the setup of the traditional Korean bed. Most pictures I found didn't show it very well and since you're only allowed one image per chapter, I decided a video would work better. Hope you don't mind practicing your French! :)

The image is taken from a popular Korean drama, Arang and the Magistrate. It involves a fictional universe where life *is* in fact a giant game of baduk, played by the god of the underworld (fondly nicknamed Hades in all the subtitles) and the Jade Emperor, who rules the heavens. (They use red and white playing pieces instead of the traditional black and white but we're just going to ignore that bit!) Have a good weekend!











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