Jeongguk sits at the dining table in his apartment, poking a soggy piece of cereal with his spoon distractedly. It floats in his bowl, moving round in a circle as it bumps against the edge of the ceramic.

“I called Taehyung cute yesterday.” He frowns, looking at the milk.

Across the table, Namjoon sits there looking at him. He puts down his piece of toast and stares at his friend.

“So?”

Jeongguk looks up in confusion.

“What do you mean “so”? I told him he was pretty and he laughed and said thank you. That's weird.”

“Is it? It seems like the normal response to a compliment.”

“Yeah, but this is Taehyung we’re talking about. The same guy who hit me in the face with a tennis ball just because I was late. The same guy who makes me hold his fucking banana peels when he’s done with them.” Jeongguk explains. “Normal doesn’t exist to that guy.”

“Maybe he’s just being friendly. Probably feels guilty or something.”

“He told me I was cute too. He even blushed! That goes waaayyy beyond the scope of guilt.”

“Does this mean you like him, then?” Namjoon asks with all the enthusiasm of a wet sponge.

Jeongguk drops his spoon and it clatters to the floor loudly.

“No?” He says, unconvincingly. “No I don’t.”

“Seriously?”

“Yeah dude - I can think someone’s cute without having a crush on them. I'm not 5 years old.” Jeongguk protests.

“I’m just letting you know, I don’t believe you.” Namjoon says, “Like, at all.”

“Haters believe what they want to believe.” Jeongguk mutters defensively. “You’re just jumping to conclusions.”

“Yeah, with definitive evidence.” Namjoon justifies, “You and him are joined at the hip.”

“That is not true!” Jeongguk squawks, “We literally argue all the time - I hate being near him.”

“Yeah right. That's why you guys left the soiree together and didn’t come back the rest of the night. You two were probably snogging in the kitchens.”

“For your information, dick-face, we actually left to go skateboarding. And I got to drive his car.” Jeongguk says smugly.

“Ok, and how many people does Taehyung let drive his car?”

“Nobody.”

“Which must mean he trusts you, right?”

“Well not really. He only let me drive because I had to take him back to his house after he hurt his ankle. It wasn’t like he had any choice – he couldn’t walk.”

“You went to his house?” Namjoon questions in shock.

“Yeah, but I had to carry him to his room and there were so many stairs and -”

“You carried him??”

“It’s not that-”

“Piggyback, Bridal or Fireman?” Namjoon asks.

“What does that have to do with anything?”

“Answer the fucking question. Piggyback, Bridal or Fireman?” He demands.

“Bridal. B-But only because-”

“Motherfucker.”

“But Joon we never-”

“That’s like – crazy intimate.”

“He hurt his ankle.”

“And you couldn’t carry him on your back? You just had to hold him in your arms against your chest? Really well and truly?” Namjoon asks pointedly.

Jeongguk remains silent and starts to go red in the face.

“Exactly.” Namjoon smirks triumphantly. “And Yuna told me you didn’t come back that night either, which means you must’ve stayed at his house too.”

Jeongguk scrunches his face up.

“He was lonely!” Jeongguk protests. “I didn’t want to leave him all by himself.”

“Yeah, but he was still by himself when you left to go sleep in whatever room you slept in.”

Jeongguk dutifully remains quiet, and the silence is a lot more telling than any of his words ever could’ve been.

Namjoon gasps.

“SHUT THE FUCK UP.” He says in shock. “Don’t tell me you and him slept in the same room??”

“M-Maybe.”

“But that guy’s rich! There were probably like 15 other rooms for you to choose from. Did you sleep in the same bed?”

Jeongguk scowls.

“Does that matter?”

“OH MY GOD.” Joon says in amusement, “YOU TWO TOTALLY FUCKED, DIDN’T YOU?”

“No, dear god. We just...cuddled that was all. It isn’t a big deal.”

“That’s fucking gay, that’s what it is.”

“Get the fuck out of my apartment if you’re just going to attack me.” Jeongguk frowns, crossing his arms over his chest.

Namjoon laughs.

“I’m just trying to show you that you most definitely have some feelings towards Taehyung. There's no way you don’t, after doing all those things for him. Plus you called him cute. That's a significant improvement from “satan incarnate”.”

Jeongguk sighs.

“I dunno, dude. Maybe I'm just being silly.”

“And, Taehyung is totally your type too. I've seen you lose your mind over guys not even half as attractive as him. You even gave him a nickname! If that’s not a crush then I don’t know what is.”

“I only call him Gucci Boy because he calls me a barbarian!”

“And you let him! You never let anyone call you names and get away with it.” Namjoon points out, “Face it dude; you’ve got a serious case of Taehyung fever.”

“Oh my god.” Jeongguk says, staring in disbelief at his distorted reflection in the back of his spoon. “I have a fucking crush on Kim Taehyung.” He says, gagging dramatically. “Dear god, kill me now.”

“It’s not that bad dude, be serious.”

“What do I do now?” Guk asks in dismay, “What am I supposed to say to him?”

“Just confess.” Namjoon shrugs.

Jeongguk stares at him like he has two heads.

“Yeah fucking right. Like it’s that easy.”

“It is, though. You made me realise it a couple weeks ago at the soiree.”

“With Carlos?”

“Her name is Cecilia, dude. Get a fucking grip.” Namjoon sighs.

“Same thing.” Guk shrugs.

“But anyway, yes. You told me to just go up to her and tell her how I feel, and now we’re dating. I've been interested in her for over a year, dude, and I wouldn’t have known she liked me too if I hadn’t just gone for it.”

“You really think I should just tell him?”

“Yes.”

“What would I even say? Hey idiot I like your face let’s kiss.?” Jeongguk groans into his hands and bangs his head against the dining table. “I’m so fucking screwed.”

“Don’t be so dramatic, man.” Namjoon snorts, “Look, let’s do it this way. Taehyung has a match tomorrow, right?”

Jeongguk nods in confirmation.

“Good. Then how about this: if Taehyung wins, you confess to him tomorrow. And if he loses, you get to keep quiet for a bit longer. How's that sound?”

“YOU WANT ME TO CONFESS LESS THAN 24 HOURS AFTER DECIDING I HAVE A CRUSH ON HIM?” Jeongguk yells in disbelief. “You sir, are fucking delusional.”

“Yeah, but you’re only at The Navy Eagle for 6 weeks while Cornelius heals, remember You don’t exactly have all the time in the world. Plus I'm giving you an out here, so it’s literally 50/50. Now, are you gonna do it or not, pussy?”

Jeongguk scowls. He hates it when Namjoon is right.

“Fine.” He mutters.

“Atta boy.” Namjoon grins from across the table.

Jeongguk sighs in disbelief.

“I can’t believe I'm going to confess to Taehyung in 12 fucking hours.”

“If he wins.”

“Yeah, if he wins.”

“You better do something cute for him then.”

“Like what?”

“I dunno. Put his face on a badge and wear it to the game.” Namjoon snorts.

“Joon?” Jeongguk calls out after a while in a tiny voice, head buried in his arms.

“Yeah?”

“Taehyung is so gonna win the game tomorrow.” Jeongguk laments.

“I know dude.” Namjoon agrees, sighing.

“Son of a bitch.”

●●●