Jysmn had woken before the sun had fully risen, had snuck from her room, to find herself to be the only one awake. No maids bustled around, ready for the morning. No one worked on a ship, whose working hours were from sun up to sun down. This wasn’t something Jysmn was willing to give up just yet.
 

           She remembered laying in her bed, out of protest, for at least another five to eight hours before she dared rouse from bed. But she was a worker now. And there was something of the mornings silence. That, and this was the perfect time to slip out and away from her mother and sister. And the hollow feeling in her chest at each portrait of her father.

            Pulling on an adjustable corset, one Marvella had made for her, she tucked a rather baggy blouse over it. Tucking it beneath her belt, which she fastened her blades too, she looked much like how the young prince would dress in his youth.

            The reminder made her huff, turning away from the mirror, before lacing her boots.

            Sparing her “room” a once over, her stomach churned at how unlived in it looked. What she wouldn’t give to be back in her room on the boat. Her belongings were still strewn through it, marking it as hers, but she doubted she would ever set foot in it again.

            Her boots echoed on the marble floors, which had been shining to perfection, especially in contrast to her scuffed boots. Keeping her gaze ahead of her, and not on all the portraits of her family both past and present, she kept her chin up, dark hair swishing behind her in a too-tight pony tail. She didn’t mind the soft hair that caressed at her shoulders. It had never felt this clean in a long time. Usually she was pulling salt from it, the hair drying out from the coarse sun. she swore she had some blonder highlights, if she looked at it close enough. None of this was important, it was all just in an effort to pretend not to notice the portraits that had been put up. At least ten frames back, she had stopped appearing in them.

            As if she were dead.

            The serious looks on her parents faces told her that she may have had that third strike, if her father had lived long enough to mark it.

            Eyes forwarded, she reminded herself sternly. That deep, commanding voice returning, even if it was just in her head.

            Jysmn finally made it to the back door. It was made mostly of white paned glass, usually opening out to let the breeze from the forest and the beach into their home. Shimming it open, she didn’t bother to disguise her noises. It wasn’t like her mother or sister would hear it. No one ever did.

            Opening it, so that the maids or whoever did it in the morning, wouldn’t have to, Jysmn stepped out in the cool air of the morning. The finely kept backyard was at a contrasted level of light between blue and gold, slowly changing into the morning. Sun rises and sets were better out at sea, in her opinion.

            Wasting no time to do what she came out here to do, Jysmn set off down the too many steps in a jog. Her mind calming, as she tried to repair her land legs. The open field was the very opposite of the cramped levelled space of the ship she was used to.

            Faster than she thought, Jysmn was running along the trail, which led through their small private forest, one their father refused to cut, down to the beach. She remembered the exploring she would do with other kids and cousins, even sneaking down there with Marvella more than a hundred times. Where they had pretended to be sailors. It was also the first place she discovered she had magic. When Jysmn had willed her paper boat Lady Jenny taught them how to make, to glide along the water with a small gust of wind in its sails.

            Marvella had screamed in fear when Jysmn started choking and seizing.

            Unknowingly, Jysmn ran faster. It was fine, she had stretched first thing that morning. As she tumbled out of bed, like she did on the boat. Stretching against the cold and dampness. In this case, it wasn’t that cold, nor was it damp. But considering she did not have this kind of stamina, it was probably a mistake.

            But Jysmn kept running.

            Heaving breaths as she did so, but still, she pushed on. She at least had to make it to the beach.

            On her run to the beach, she only had to stop to catch her breath twice. Reminding her of the burns of her own magic, nearly set her into a panicked attack within her own body. Each time, she pressed her hands flat against her knees, leant against a tree, and breathed.

            Once she made it to the sandy edge, the push and pull of the waves greeting her, she threw herself onto her back. Arms spread out as she caught her breath, for good this time.

            “You sound like a seal trying to cough out a fish,” a familiar, sweet, despite her rude words, broke her out of her fit. The smell of horse, and the snort of a very beautiful mare was the only answer Jysmn was met with, peaking open one of her eyes. The large, impressive shadow the cream coloured mare cast down on her eased her from squinting up at them against the sun.

            Marvella’s hair glowed in the sun, turning into gentle waves by the foam of the sea water. She sat confidentially bareback on the horse, feet bare, her toe nails stained a brilliant white colour, similar to her dress and the star on the horses forehead.

            “As pleasant as ever, Marvella,” Jysmn wheezed, pushing herself into a sitting up position. A fine layer of sweat had collected under her breasts and traced down her back as she laid on the sand. A contrast between her and the maid.

            “How have you been?” she asked, the horse pacing, impatient at standing still. She was very beautiful, curiously dipping her head to sniff at Jysmn.

            “I’ve been better,” Jysmn answered seriously. She had been better. She had been in other places, dirty prisons in fact, where she was more welcome. And hadn’t been sweating and wheezing on the ground. On the ocean, the spit of the water mixed in with her sweat, covering her in it. Instead, all this perspiration was her own.

            “I’ll say,” Marvella snorted, very much like the horse had. Thankfully, Marvella hadn’t spat directly into Jysmn’s face. Not like the stupidly gorgeous mare. “Do you like her? I bought her, a few months ago, her name is Corn. Your sister lets me keep her in your stable,” Marvella gushed, as if sensing Jysmn eyeing the animal. “I got her for a very reasonable price, she was a track horse that nobody wanted anymore. One of the ones they used to boost the racehorses confidence by making them run slower. But she’d just kick at the other horses. She is very naughty, aren’t you my little Cornie?”

            Jysmn offered a smile at her old friends appraising tale. She seemed to be very proud of her purchase, and even laid her head against the horses mane affectionately.

            Corn swished her tail in answer, her ears perked forward.

            “She is very beautiful. Do you not have a saddle, or do you prefer bareback?” Jysmn asked. She couldn’t believe how awkward she had let herself become to the people she had known from this life. The guilt of having left them all for years without any indication or note as to why, was choking her just as much as her magic was.

            Marvella’s face fell, as she shifted on top her horse. “I haven’t enough to afford one. I’ve got my eyes on a very warn one in the market, the cheapest I can find. I swear they cost more than the horses.”

            Shifting down on the ground, Jysmn felt the twist of pity in her gut. Out at sea, there hadn’t been much want for anything material. All she could think about was fish and sleep. Perhaps a few times even about getting a little action with somebody, but never material. She already had a sickly expensive lifestyle, she wanted adventure and carelessness.

            Not everybody was like that. Marvella had to work even harder to curate a life for herself. Corn was proof of that.

            “I heard it is very hard to go bareback, but you look very natural up there,” Jysmn said, opting for a compliment instead. Because Marvella did look very at ease upon the great mare.

            “It took a while, but I got the hang of it,” she said with a grin. Corn stomped her foot impatiently, Marvella muttering something to her, which made her tail swish once again. “What are you doing up this early?”

            “Running,” she answered bluntly. “What about you? I didn’t think anyone else would be awake.”

            Since Jysmn had woken up and ran all the way to the beach, stops included, the sun had risen significantly. It was perhaps a reasonable hour to wake up at, she thought. To get dressed and have breakfast, but not to ride a horse all the way to the back of this property.

            “I couldn’t go back to sleep, and I missed Corn. Usually I sleep in on Sunday’s. I probably wouldn’t be awake until lunchtime if my Lady Melody didn’t need me to get her dresses from town. She’s picking out a new one, specifically for the Palace Tournament. I can’t wait to see her in it, it will look so beautiful,” she gushed, as if there was nothing unspoken between them.

            Jysmn contently listened, not really hearing anything she said. About dresses, balls, the weather. Marvella certainly didn’t need Jysmn to keep up a conversation. She doubted she uttered more than ten words as she ranted.

            Until, it clicked in her brain. “What tournament?”

            Corn stomped her foot again, twisting around to stare back out at the forest, tail swishing side to side in impatience. Marvella’s face lit up. “The Palace Guard tournament. They say the winner of this one gets the Captain of the Guard’s position, he’s planning on retiring you know, maybe not anymore, but it is still a pretty big deal. I don’t doubt this will be the last one in a long time. I’m surprised it hasn’t been cancelled after the ball.”

            “My memory is a little hazy, remind me, is it strictly open for Palace of the Guards, or can anyone get involved?” Jysmn asked, her mind whirling.

            Jysmn could fight. She could swing a blade nearly as good as anyone on the Little Coral. True, she doubted she could win, but the rush of it made her heart beat a little faster. Not to mention, the look of her mother and sisters faces bubbled in her mind. It made her smirk, laying back down on the sand.

            Corn made a noise, Marvella fiddling with her reigns, a knowing look cast down at her old friend. Reluctantly, she answered. “My Lady, it is true that Lord’s and Ladies children are apart of the Palace Guards. It is my knowledge and experience that no one is any position to tell noblepeople what they can and cannot do.”

            “Thank you, I will turn think on that information for a while,” Jysmn said, tucking her hands behind her head, crossing her ankles. Enjoying the crashing of waves and the smell of the ocean. Even the sand beneath her.

            She could do it. She could fight in the long forgotten tournament. It gave her something to look forward to, to train for. Anything to keep the haunting of the war, of what Lady Jenny told her, and her family out of her mind. This could be her reintroduction into society. Perhaps a part to prove she could fall into high ranks in the Iarmheid army when the time came for a battle.

            This was it. Yet another turning point for Jysmn Graceline. The thought of her last name made a bitter taste in her mouth, threatening to turn her saliva ashen.

            “Of course, my Lady,” Marvella said darkly, bowing her head to her, before a gentle kick to Corn’s underbelly and the pair were trotting off.

            Jysmn could only watch them leave her on the beach. Words unsaid, perhaps forever.

            Jysmn was left wondering all the things she could have said.

            I’m sorry. Would be a good start.

Why couldn’t you sleep?

Why a horse?

Why aren’t you screaming at me?

Why don’t you hate me?

            Because if she was Marvella, she sure would.