He was the warmth she craved every winter when the cold wind hit her.

-Lekha 

I was on verge of loosing myself and drowning into the abyss of darkness. I felt the world around me collapse and my body shaking with immense force. Someone was choking me till death as the air clogged into my respiratory system. I find myself struggling to breathe as thousand of evil thoughts crossed my minds. My panic attacks were back and I hated every second of it. Since I lost babasa the attacks became more frequent and brutal. And the reason Why i was having one today was the thought of someone taking away tanirika from me.

I couldn't handle the realization of going away from Tanirika. People could call me weak but when someone is about to fall down a cliff and a stone appears to hold it tightly, though the stone does nothing it gives the person a power to strengthen their hold and climb up the ladder of death, the person becomes dependent on that hope no matter if it lasts only for a second. Tanirika was that hope for me, she was my pillar since I grew up. Whenever I had any problem I found her smiling at me and i could feel all my worries leaving my body.

When I got nightmares in childhood she used to hold me closer to herself all night despite not understanding anything at such a young age.

My hands will make you feel protected lekha!I will always protect you.

She used to say. And the thought of her going away killed me.

When I fell deep into the abyss of the fear of loosing someone I felt warmth surrounding me burning my insecurities into ashes pulling me back into the real world.

The fog of illusion started to disappear when I opened my eyes slowly, my gaze fell on the man standing infront of me. Worry lines ceased on his forehead with a deep frown resting on his beautiful face. I could see his lips moving like he was saying something but I couldn't hear it. I digged my nails on his arms as I found myself in his arms. He had his arms around me holding me close to him.

He caressed my face slowly making me sigh in relief. I felt his hand pushing me towards his chest holding tightly in his arms. My face rested on his chest,  the long bead necklace he was wearing piercing my cheek holding me back into the real world.

The pain dissolved with the warmth his body was providing me coaxed me into betting my whole vulnerability into his arms. And I would be lying if I said it didn't feel amazing.

This felt deeper. Maybe deeper than the emotions I felt for him. When I dreamt of love I felt the protecting love and this felt something like that.

"Lekha" He whispered ever so softly like I was some bubble which could burst just by some air.

But I hated it, lekha felt wrong when you hear it from his mouth. Something like rose would sound endearing.

What was wrong with me? Maybe the spirit possessing him was holding me too. I don't know but this moment I didn't care. He kept rubbing his hand in my hair and I loved every second of it. 

"You met Tani in the morning and she was healthy and fine right!" He whispered soothingly making me remember the morning encounter of Tanirika and me.  She was all happy and healthy in the morning. And she didn't look like she was hurt. She was so excited to go away from the palace.

She was always happy to be with his majesty. He appeared to be her favorite painting.

I slowly titled my head away from his chest, looking upward my eyes met his green ones.

And I realized the painting I loved to gaze on was the one featuring the green ones. Afterall green was always my favorite color.

His knuckles brushed on my cheek, he traced the uneven part of my cheek which was pressed against the bead necklace. He rubbed his thumb on the red area trying to ease the pain he thought I got from the beads.

"Does it hurt?" He asked. I was mute lost in the ocean of the green eyes that I didn't think my pain was important. The eyes were more. They were endearing and soothing.

I always loved wrapping myself into the thick blanket in the winter when the air was too cold. The warmth the blanket made me experience was amazing and my favorite. The same warmth his eyes could make me feel without doing anything.

My stance got broken when i found him pulling the bead necklace in a second, breaking in into pieces. I gasped when the beads broke through the thread falling towards the earth in random way. What appeared was a disgusting expression on his face when he looked at the bead necklace.

"That was pretty" I whispered so quietly yet weakly. He smiled softly looking down at me again rubbing the red area of the cheek.

"Pretty things don't cause pain to beautiful people like you, my little rose. "

"Roses have thorns too, they don't hurt Roses but hurt the person who try to go near them " I whispered savoring the touch of his rough palm.

He chuckled pressing a kiss on the area the beads caused me pain, licking my cheek softly he pressed another kiss. I fluttered my eyes in anticipation as butterflies swooned in my stomach.

"Thorns protect the roses, my little rose. And If you are the rose I will be your thorn. Protecting you from the world and hurting everyone  who hurt you. "

"Men don't like being secondary to women. Stop saying things which you will never follow. " I  moved out of his hold rubbing my reddened cheeks.

"How many men have you known, little miss I know men" He mocked me winking shamelessly at me. I flustered in embarrassment because of his question I have known no men all my life. The only man I knew and was close was Babasa and I don't think he was an idol choice for this conversation.

"I knew my babasa " He laughed holding my right hand in his left one pulling me for a walk in the garden.

"The babasa who didn't get married and had no woman after he fell in love with the late Queen, his lover right? Despite having no male heir he didn't go for other marriage. That kind of men you grew up with and still you think men cannot be secondary?"
I clipped my lips tightly because I knew he was right. But I have seen men were always first then women ranked.

"Men always rank first ?" I said not being sure of my own sentence. What was I even saying ? This was not what gayatri maa taught me. But I was scared of the power men possessed.

And i didn't have that kind of power.

"How can someone who come from a woman be ranked first? A woman brings a man in this world so she is superior. Tanirika, your sister is the strongest in this kingdom a woman she is. Lekha, my rose you will always rank first in my world. " I stood rooted in my spot when his raw emotions flashed infront of me. The intensity his eyes held made my knees feel weak.

I felt power surging in my veins when a powerful man like him said he was always going to second when we both would be in line. That though alone made me powerful.

"Uh-In the night I want - I mean we should. Uh- my point is I will come to meet you in your chambers do not sleep early and wait for me ok " I said unclasping my hand from his. I was hot in my heels walking faster than ever away from him.

"The only person I wait every second of my time is you my love. " I heard him speak making me smile discreetly as my cheeks reddened in blush.

I was so deep into this mess.

I was desperate for the day to end today.

Why? Because lekha told me she was going go visit me tonight. It was always me who initiated our meetings but for the first time today my woman was desperate to meet me I don't know what was the reason. Whatever it is I am the happiest man on this earth.

Maybe the devil was in my favour too which is the reason lekha's god was not playing his part. Afterall I am the most pathetic person in god's book.

As if I care about someone Who does not care about me.

When I saw her having a panic attack in the morning over Tanirika the harsh truth hit me right on my face. Tanirika's blessing was the most important thing for us. Specially for lekha, if I wanted lekha in my life. I must have blessings from the Queen of Rakhshatra, Tanirika, lekha's best friend and sister.

Loki and Zravasaya teased me every minute they got infront of Tanirika. And I knew there was a hidden warning in the teasing. Which was the reason I hinted Tanirika that once she comes back from the old palace I will tell her about my relationship with lekha.

But right now the most infuriating thing was the person who plotted a crime of poisoning the Queen's food. Luck was in our favour that Zravasaya got a hold of the conspiracy, he was well versed in the field of poison maybe because he had it flowing in his veins. Since he was a kid he was fed poison to make him stronger and powerful that was how royal kids were raised. His body was accustomed to poison which was the reason he didn't get affected by it.

But his poison could be deadly for others, more for his wife considering he could be intimate with her.

I laughed silently when one of the incident ranged in my brain. Good old days when Zravasaya was unhinged and mad.

"What's funny, your majesty?"  I turned around looking at my woman who stood at a distance from me holding a bowl. I don't know what was that.

"My little rose" I smiled pushing my hand towards her. She looked at me and then at my hand for good few minutes. I waited for her to hold my hand and she did. She placed her hand softly in mine and smiled at me.

Weird.

What has gotten into her tonight.

I pulled a rose from behind giving to her. She narrowed her eyes cutely, her cheeks turning rosy when her gaze fell on the rose I brought for her. She smiled taking it from me and placing it on the near table.

"You look beautiful " she looked down blushing in return when my words hit her ear drums.

"Uh-I brought something for you too" She said out of the blue making my heart jump like a little giddy kid.

Something for me. 

Since I was little I craved for gifts but I didn't get one. We all know why? Slaves don't get gifts.

Maybe that was the reason I try to swarm lekha with gifts because as Zravasaya says I see what I wanted to be I childhood in lekha.

The sweet sunshine lighting my dark aura with her rays of warmth.

Lekha was my sunshine, she was my little rose. My most prized possession.

"What is it?" I said rubbing my palms blowing the biggest smile out. A guilty expression crossed her face catching me off-guard.

"Its fine whatever you have brought for me. I don't care what it is. The best thing is you brought something for me. " I lifted her frown up making her smile in return. She chuckled pushing my hand away smiling genuinely at me.

We were progressing and I could see how future was strong and happy. And I was so excited for it.

"Uh! I brought this paste for you it will help you easing your pain and worries. " She said pushing the bowl right on my chest. The edge of the bowl hit my skin making me groan in return.

"There it is" She jumped but then pulled herself back.

But maybe i heard her saying the weird noise. What weird noise??

"Pain? I am not in pain my love" I said smiling at her. She sighed whispering few words before looking straight at me.

"I want to apply this on your back and arms would you allow me or not " her narrowed eyes, determined face and stubborn expression threw me out of the mountain she looked so fearful. I nodded my head hesitatingly but soon found myself being pushed near the bed by her.

She pushed me on the bed making me fall straight on the mattress with a thud. Smiling proudly at her work she ran back to get her bowl with a determined thought. Her anklets breaking the silence prevailing in the room.

Her behaviour confused me to the core. The woman who always kept 10 feet distance from me always was suddenly in my room tonight by her own will, with a gift for me, and was going to use her hands to take my pain away.

The only pain I was going to get from her  pressing my muscles will be the hard on muscle I will get in the southern region.

This was going to be fatal for me but I was going to enjoy it. Who won't?

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Love Aditi ❤