Flashback 7 years ago

"Fucking leave!" Taehyung's voice bellowed as he tried pushing Jungkook out of his house.

It's his mistake for opening his door for the ravenette.

He should've just let him knock all he wanted. Now, seeing him face to face after knowing the truth only makes his blood boil in rage.

"Tae... please. Listen to me." Jungkook begged, holding him by his arm but Taehyung was quick to push him away.

"Don't touch me!" He gritted his teeth from too much anger as he shoot dagger eyes to the ravenette.

"Fucking leave and don't show your face to me ever again. You disgust me." Taehyung uttered in too much rage. He pushed Jungkook with all his might until he was out of his house.

He slammed the door close, not realizing that Jungkook had tried to  stop him, his arm got caught and was squeezed hard by the closing door, making him groan in pain.

"F-fuck!" Jungkook clutched his arm, face wincing from the pain.

Taehyung was too caught up by his emotions that he just smirked at the ravenette.

"Does it hurt?" He gritted his teeth, wiping off all his sympathy for this man who doesn't deserve any of it.

"That's not even half of the pain you've caused me." He remarked as he looked at the ravenette with disgust and hatred.

"Tae.." Jungkook whispered, disregarding the pain but Taehyung just slammed the door close, not giving him a chance to say anything at all.

Taehyung hurriedly locked the door and went to his room as Jungkook kept on knocking by the door.

"Tae! Please let's talk!" Jungkook begged but Taehyung was already too fed up with him.

He confined himself inside his room, plugging in his earphones and blasted the music to stop himself from hearing Jungkook's voice.

He shouldn't be shaken.

He shouldn't be stupid and forgive him just like that.

He treated him like a trash.

He'll never forgive him even if his heart was saying otherwise.

-----------

Everyday, Jungkook would stop by his house and beg him to talk to him, but Taehyung would just ignore him.

He could shout and beg all he wanted until he lost his voice but Taehyung will never talk to him.

It's high time to make him suffer just as much as he had suffered because of him.

This was all he could think of during that time. He wanted Jungkook to feel the pain he had felt from being treated like a slut, like someone who's even worse than garbage.

He didn't know how long it had been, but Jungkook didn't stop from coming to his house, begging and convincing him to talk.

However, Taehyung didn't open his door for him no matter how hard he had begged. He didn't care whether Jungkook would stand in front of his house for hours underneath the scorching sun.

He didn't care whether he looked like a fool who's begging and calling out for him every single day and starved himself.

He just didn't care.

One night when Taehyung had invited Jimin and Jin to get wasted on a club, to have someone to share his thoughts and feelings, he went out of the house and saw Jungkook slumping on the pavement.

Taehyung stopped, not expecting him to still be there. He thought he had finally left for the day.

Jungkook slowly lifted his head and only then Taehyung was able to see how gloomy his face had become.

He looked lifeless.

"Tae.." Jungkook said, voice almost cracking. He stood and walked near him, but Taehyung was quick to walk past him as if he didn't see nor hear him.

"Tae, please.. Please listen to me." Jungkook caught him by the arm, his hands were cold which Taehyung couldn't help but notice.

However, he brushed him off as if he has a disease. He stared at him with disgust as he moved away.

"Weren't you able to understand any of the word that I have said?" Taehyung looked at the ravenette with mocking eyes.

"I told you to get lost, Jungkook. Seeing you only makes my day feel like shit!" Taehyung angrily turned around to walk away, but Jungkook gripped him by the arm once more.

"Please, Tae. Listen to me. Let's.. talk." Jungkook uttered in a low voice.

This had Taehyung huffing in disbelief. He turned around, forcefully brushing off Jungkook's hand.

"Listen to you?" He scoffed, emotions all over the place as he faced the ravenette.

"Can you hear yourself, Jungkook? You want me to listen to you?" He smiled in disbelief.

"Tae.." Jungkook said in barely a whisper.

"Did you even listen to me when I was begging you? Did you even give me a chance to explain myself?" Taehyung was looking at the ravenette with mocking eyes.

"You didn't, Jungkook. You were so quick to judge me...so quick to turn your back on me." Taehyung said, voice sounding in pain as he remembered the times he made a fool out of himself just because of his love for the ravenette.

His love which was only put to waste.

"Now you're asking me something you deprived me before?" Taehyung sadly smiled as he looked at the ravenette's regretful face.

"Not a chance, Jungkook. Why don't you talk to yourself instead?" He paused, raking his belittling eyes to the ravenette before he continued.

"That's better since you only know how to listen to yourself." He finally turned around and left, seeing how Jungkook was frozen from where he stood with his head hanging low.

Before Taehyung could leave, he had heard Jungkook's faint voice.

"I'm sorry."

Taehyung rushed his steps, feeling suffocated. His chest was tightening from too much pain.

He quickly halted a cab, desperate to get away as fast as possible.

He needed to get away in fear of letting his heart take the lead once more.

If he had taken more time near Jungkook, he's afraid he'll end up forgiving him right there and then.

Though he had hurt him, Taehyung couldn't let go of the fact that Jungkook still holds his heart.

-------

After that incident, Taehyung decided to spend a week at Jimin's house. He wanted a breather from everything that has happened.

He wanted to start anew, but seeing Jungkook every single day hindered him from doing so.

Jimin helped him find a new job in the week that he had stayed with him. From time to time, Jin also passed by to help him and the three of them would end up doing sleepovers.

Taehyung had tried applying for a lot of companies. However, no one contacted him yet.

"I'll be broke if this goes on." Taehyung groaned, closing Jimin's laptop after an hour of doing online job hunting.

"Don't give up, Tae. One of those companies will surely see your potential and call you." Jin is oozing with positivity which made Taehyung smile.

"Yeah. It'll be their loss if they let such an opportunity go, right?" Taehyung grinned.

Jimin and Jin shook their heads in response. They both stared at him for a long while, seeing him smiling.

"What?" Taehyung asked, feeling a bit awkward at the way his friends were eyeing him.

"Nothing." Jimin answered as he looked down on his hands.

There was a long silence that followed which made the atmosphere awkward.

"Are you really okay, Tae?" Jin suddenly uttered, breaking the silence.

Taehyung paused. He had told them everything days ago. He narrated everything as if it didn't hurt.

He didn't shed a single tear, wanting his friends to believe that he's fine and that he's already moving forward.

He held it all in.

"Yeah. I am." He shrugged as he looked away.

"You're smiling but it didn't reach your eyes." Jimin whispered which made Taehyung stiffen.

Was he that too obvious?

"Don't force yourself to be happy, Tae. Don't pretend that you're okay. This is us. You don't have to pretend in front of us." Jin softly said, reaching for his hand and squeezing it tenderly.

"You can cry if it hurts. You can shout if you can no longer bear the pain. It's okay, Tae." Jimin did the same, taking his other hand on his own.

Taehyung lowered his head and was silent for a long while. He bit his lip as his emotions suddenly bursted like a waterfall.

"It.. hurts like hell." He whispered as tears began flowing down his eyes.

He wanted to pretend to be happy, but no matter what he did, he couldn't let go of the pain.

"Oh, Tae." Jin scooted next to him while Jimin did the same.

"Let it all out, love." Jimin said as the two of them hugged Taehyung.

He cried and cried in his friends' arms once more.

The only people whom he could truly trust.

The only people who had stayed by his side no matter what.

--------

When Taehyung returned to his home after a week, he thought he'll finally have a peaceful life.

He had hoped Jungkook would stop from coming to his home, but to his dismay, he didn't.

He's too persistent and it's starting to get on his nerves. It went on and on, day after day.

When will he stop for fuck's sake?!

Taehyung couldn't help but curse to himself when he peeked through the window, seeing Jungkook standing in front of his house again.

He's not calling out for him. He's just standing there, waiting and hoping against all hopes that Taehyung would open up for him.

"Stand there all you want. I'm going to bed." He murmured to himself as he made his way to his room.

That night, he tossed and turned on his bed but he couldn't seem to fall asleep. He sighed as he checked his emails, hoping to finally receive one from the companies he had applied for.

However, there's none.

"Fuck my life." He groaned, placing back his phone on the bedside table.

He lazily covered himself with the duvet, finally closing his eyes when he heard a faint sound of raindrops hitting the roof.

"Is it raining?" He stood by the window to check.

"It's really raining.." He mumbled to himself as the rain started pouring heavily.

He shrugged his shoulders as he made his way back to bed.

"It's just rain, Tae." He mumbled to himself, brushing off his conscience that suddenly started to bug him.

It's raining and Jungkook was still outside, right?

He shakes his head, removing the thought in mind.

"He could get sick and I couldn't care less." He murmured, finally lying back down on his bed.

He closed his eyes, comfortably feeling the warmth coming from the duvet as he tried to sleep.

The clock began ticking but Taehyung was still unable to sleep. He groaned as he sat on his bed.

"I need a drink." He stood and made his way out of his room and into the kitchen to look for a beer or something that would help him sleep.

He was about to return to his room after getting the drink when his curiosity ate him up.

He slowly made his way to the window by the front door, carefully lifting the curtain to see if the ravenette was still outside.

Taehyung held his breath as he quickly moved away, legs buckling from the sight.

Jungkook was still there, standing and not minding the rain. He has his head hanging low, looking so dejected.

It's in the middle of the night and Taehyung is sure as hell it's freezing outside.

"What the hell is wrong with him?!" Taehyung huffed, feeling both anger and disbelief.

Is he trying to stir his conscience?

Did he think he'll turn soft if he'll be a martyr like this?

Taehyung was feeling enraged as he dropped the can of beer, angrily making his way out of his house.

This needs to stop.

At the sound of the slamming door, Jungkook lifted his head, seeing Taehyung making his way to him.

"Tae -"

"Are you fucking deaf or plain stupid?!" Taehyung bellowed, disregarding the heavy pour of rain that started to drench him.

Jungkook didn't respond. Instead, he pulled Taehyung and enclosed him in his arms.

"Go inside, Tae. You'll freeze here." Jungkook uttered in a soft voice.

Taehyung stiffened, his heart was betraying him, getting swayed by Jungkook's soft voice and tender embrace.

Even before his heart could betray himself, he pushed Jungkook away with all the strength that's left of him.

"Will you just stop! Stop this nonsense!" He yelled, voice shaking from too much emotions.

"If you think doing any of this will win me again, well sad to break it to you, nothing will make me forgive you." He began hitting him by the chest.

"Get lost, Jungkook." He uttered as he backed away. He saw him took a step but Taehyung was quick to duck down and grab a huge stone from the ground.

"Take one more step and I'll hit you." He warned, his emotions were getting the best of him.

Jungkook couldn't care less. He took a step forward.

Taehyung gritted his teeth, throwing the stone to the ravenette's direction but missed.

He didn't stop as he look for some more, not caring what he would hit as he threw it to him.

"Fucking leave and never return!" He threw a huge boulder which landed on Jungkook's forehead, making him stumble and lean to his car.

Taehyung stiffened. However, he's too angry at this point that he couldn't think straight.

He marched his way to the ravenette, hitting him even more as he spouted hurtful words to him.

"Just fucking leave already!" He bellowed, hitting the ravenette with all his might.

Jungkook didn't struggle. He accepted all his anger, not caring if he was scratched and bruised by the brunet.

He deserved this. He deserved all of his anger.

"You want me to forgive you?" Taehyung huffed as he pushed him harder this time.

"Then go kill yourself!" He yelled with one last push that made Jungkook stumble to the ground, slipping because of the rain.

His body fell down to the ground, his right hand accidentally pressed down hard on the pavement.

His head was aching while his hand seemed to have been sprained but he didn't mind. He was already numb from the pain.

Taehyung's eyes widened when Jungkook raised his head and saw blood trickling down his forehead. He was alarmed and was finally snapped out of rage he was in earlier.

He looked at him with horrified eyes.

Jungkook slowly stood, not minding the blood coming out of his forehead, gliding down to his nose. He has his head hanging low as he whispered.

"I'm sorry, Tae."

Taehyung felt his heart clench. He was so lost and so scared for what he had done.

He backed away, body trembling in fear as everything finally sinks in.

"I'm sorry." Jungkook repeated, head hanging low.

The rain poured heavily but Taehyung was still able to hear the cracking of Jungkook's voice.

He's crying.

"I'm really sorry." Jungkook repeated which made Taehyung tear up.

He backed away in the hopes of stopping himself from hugging the ravenette.

"Just go." Taehyung murmured.

It took a lot of courage for him to turn his back and run inside his house as he held his tears all to himself.

As soon as he closed the door, he finally gave in. His tears flow down his eyes as pain consumed him again.

He lost himself from too much anger.

He's slowly turning into someone he's not.

Taehyung looked out the window once more, seeing Jungkook still standing in front of his house.

He couldn't help but sob, his heart clenching at the sight.

"What are you doing? Just go. You're bleeding." He whispered to himself as tears continued to flow down his eyes.

"Why are you being like this?" He couldn't contain the fear in his heart, seeing Jungkook doing nothing.

Taehyung rushed to get his phone inside the room, not minding his drenched state.

He quickly dialed Jin's number.

"Jin! Please tell Namjoon that Jungkook is here." He said, voice trembling.

"What? Is he causing trouble?" Jin asked in a concerned voice.

Taehyung choked. "I-I hurt him.. Jin. I hurt him." He cried, feeling horrible.

"Tae.. I'll tell Namjoon right away. I'm heading there for you." Jin said in a rush.

"Please..Jin.." was all Taehyung could say as he cried his heart out.

That night, Taehyung had finally realized that no matter how hard he tried to be angry with Jungkook, his love for him was greater.

However, love was not enough for him to go back to his arms.

He needed time to heal.

Time to recover himself from all the pain and lies.

Time to forgive himself because only then will he be able to forgive others.

After that night, Taehyung decided to leave for good.

-----

Taehyung had stopped by the Han River the morning of his flight. He looked at the vast body of water for the last time.

He'll finally leave.

The cool breeze touched his face, calming down his nerves.

This is for the best.

If he truly wanted to move forward, he has to leave the past behind and start over.

He needed to throw everything that's holding him back.

Taehyung sighed as he fished out something in his pocket. He felt his heart clench when he took it out and stared at it for a long while.

The sun-moon necklace Jungkook had given him.

"I hope this reminds you of my love for you, Tae. From the moment the sun shines in the morning and the moon lights up the night sky, remember that I love you."

Taehyung clenched the object in his fist as he closed his eyes, trying to convince himself that this is for the best.

He shouldn't remember it anymore.

It's time to let go.

He clenched his fist, feeling the necklace in his palm.

As Taehyung finally decided what to do with the necklace, his tears stream down his eyes.

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End of flashback.

Love you. 💜